Goal: be motivated by the way I feel not the number on my scale

bammon71

Hi. I'm 45 and have been gaining and losing weight since my first child was born 22 years ago. About every 5 years the range gets higher. I have educated myself a lot on nutrition and exercise. I believe I have the knowledge but for some reason I lose my motivation periodically.

I have always been independent, never wanting to ask for help, wanting to do things on my own, but obviously that is not working for me in this area of my life. I think it's time I try to get some support

bammon71

Why did half of my post get cut off??? I would like a mix of friends who are just starting out and can go on this journey with me and some who have seen some long term success and can help advise and motivate us!

clicketykeys

Good luck! I've been working at this for a little while. Not sure what you consider "long term" but overall I think it's been about six months for me?

Your subject heading makes me a little uncertain. Feelings are super unreliable, at least in my experience! I like relying on numbers - the scale, the calorie counting, tape measurements - because they're objective and (for me) nonjudgmental. Some days the numbers go down. Some days the numbers go up. Some days they don't change. (Booger!) But they help me see how little pieces fit with the overall trend.

Previously, when I decided I was fatter than I was happy with, I exercised and changed the way I ate, but I didn't have a scale. And so when I kept working and kept eating carefully and I was still wearing the same clothes and still feeling fat (except now I was fat AND also I was tired because of the yucky exercise) it felt pointless. This is the longest I've ever stuck with trying to lose weight, and I think a lot of it is because we got a scale. I was able to see the numbers start going down LONG before there was any change that I could see or feel on my own. That gave me some hope that there would one day... eventually... at SOME POINT... be some results I could see XD

bammon71

Clicketykeys you make some great points. I love the reliability of numbers as well! Six months is fantastic and you definitely seem to have found a way to maintain your motivation so that's definitely where I need help.

I should probably clarify. I'd like to focus on the way I feel physically. When I'm eating healthy I feel better... I feel like I have more energy, I feel less bloated, I have less indigestion. When I exercise I feel better. Yes sometimes it's uncomfortable while doing it but the way my body feels afterwards is fantastic.

I don't want to stop weighing in but my trend is when I get started I lose a lot the first week or two, I weigh in every day, and seeing that number go down really keeps me pumped to go on. But then the weight loss slows down (as it should!) and seeing no change on the scale demotivates me. Why can't I focus on how good I feel and not be discouraged by that number? I don't know the answer. That's one of my bad patterns I'm trying to break.

clicketykeys

The reason you can't focus on how good you feel and not on the number is because you're human. And that's not a bad thing, lol! I'm definitely the same way - though some of that is because I don't actually feel worse when I quit exercising or eat foods that are high in sugar, fat, and processing. So if I don't have that number on the scale to help keep me going, I really don't have anything except a vague idea that I'm supposed to be doing this. (Yay?)

So I don't know what to tell you about motivation. I ain't got any. What I do have, in spades, is an inner drill sergeant. Sometimes this is bad, like when I had my keys thirty seconds ago and now I can't find them. My inner drill sergeant berates me for being so irresponsible and pathetic and absent-minded. It's awful. But on days like today, when I don't have anywhere I've GOT to be until tonight, it would be super easy to stay here at the computer and putz around. My inner drill sergeant says "Look, just get up and walk to the park. Take your dam' music so you ain't got as much to whine about. You can sit down again when you get back. Now GO!"

I trust that if I am consistent with exercising - and more importantly, with weighing and logging my food so that I'm aware of my calories in - the numbers on the scale will go down. That provides me the incremental support that keeps me going on my way to my real goal, which is wearing smaller sizes so that I can fit into some of my favorite clothes that I've outgrown.

PS - I did go to the park just now ^.^ And now my IDS is saying "Go ahead and do your weights! You're already sweaty anyway. And it's only two sets. It's not that big a deal. Quit griping and MOVE!" So, uh, I better get.

WendyLaubach

I look at it from the opposite vantage point: If I concentrate on eating the right amount every day (weighing, pre-logging, etc.), then the scale numbers drop, and then I feel better. I don't just feel better about the number, though that's always fun. I feel better about the fact that I now weigh less, am stronger, look better, and feel better in every way, both physically and because I have achieved something valuable by making a decision and acting on it. If I instead try to concentrate on my feelings and aim at improving them, it turns out I have absolutely no control over them or anything that affects them.

bammon71

...I'm not trying to focus on my emotions. I'm trying to focus on the fact that my body physically feels better when I eat right and I'm trying to be motivated to continue by that.