Help!! Where do I begin

60Lola

So I'm back on mfp after years of yo-yo dieting. I recently was on slimming world and while I saw good results I just found the plan a little to restrictive as I found eating out and socializing tough. I'm really tired of the ups and downs and just want to be a normal healthy weight. I feel like I have done so much damage to my body and I want it to stop. The thing is following all points and syns have made me feel like I have lost control if I don't have a perfect day. This sees me lose control and go on a bender.

I'm now here with the goal of losing weight, healthy and sensibly. I aim to lose a kg a week, 500g at minimum. I work an office job and don't do that excersise. I do walk around 3 miles (5k) at most 5 days a week. I have IBS and a pretty slow metabolism. I'm not sure where to start in terms of calories? I aim to lose 23 kg so eating 1200 a day seems to lose at this stage. Can anyone help me?

pdm3547

Probably the best opener around:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

RoxieDawn

Are you sure about the 1200 calories per day.. ? Is this by chance because you entered sedentary and 2 pounds per week.

Read all the stickies at the beginning of the forums. I think you can learn some very valuable information on how the MFP method to lose weight works.. start with these:

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/819055/setting-your-calorie-and-macro-targets/p1

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1296011/calorie-counting-101

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/818082/exercise-calories-again-wtf/p1

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/833026/important-posts-to-read/p1

nineteentwenty

60Lola wrote: »

The thing is following all points and syns have made me feel like I have lost control if I don't have a perfect day. This sees me lose control and go on a bender....I'm not sure where to start in terms of calories? I aim to lose 23 kg so eating 1200 a day seems to lose at this stage. Can anyone help me?

I will try my best!

First off, there is a lot of help on this website, but if anything ever sounds fishy to you, please ask your doctor. Many people here are very informed and well-meaning, but none of them know your personal medical details. In this case, the first bit I have quoted suggest that you may struggle with low sefl-esteem, control issues, or possible risk for an eating disorder. This is not uncommon at all, and is nothing to feel ashamed of. Many people struggle with this, and you are not alone. however, if you feel that you need help handling these feelings, I suggest speaking with a professional therapist of some kind instead of turning to the forums. people can be mean, and you don;t need that attitude if you're in a bad place.

Next- weight loss. The good news is that you do not need to go to the gym to lose weight, especially if you are looking to lose upwards of 30-50lbs. When your body carries more weight, it is more eager to shed excess. This is why people complain about yo-yoing around during the last 5-10lbs of weight loss, because the body will fight you harder when you have less to lose.

Working out will help you stay fit and healthy, but when it comes to the act of pure weight loss, a lot more can be done in the kitchen than on a treadmill. Your body burns a certain number of calories every day just to stay alive and do your day-to-day thing. This number is called your TDEE, or total daily energy expenditure. If you eat less than your TDEE, your body is forced to consume that fat on your body in order to get energy. This is how weight loss happen, when your body burns stored fat and you do not replace it. Your results will be quicker if you work out, but a calorie restricted diet will result in constant gradual weight loss, guaranteed.

((unless you have some sort of rare medical condition, in which case you will need to consult your doctor and speak with a dietician (NOT a nutritionist, they have no certification!) about what your body needs in order to lose weight.))

To figure out your TDEE, use this link and enter your information in as accurately as you can. http://www.fitnessfrog.com/calculators/tdee-calculator.html Then, decide the rate at which you would like to lose weight. If you wanna ease into this slowly, multiply your TDEE by 0.9 and use the resulting number as your daily calorie limit. If you want to launch right in and see quicker losses, multiply your TDEE by 0.8 ad use that number instead.

For example, my TDEE is 1726.

1726 x 0.9 = 1553.4. If I wanted to lose a little at a time, I wouldn't eat more than 1553 calories per day.

1726 x 0.8 = 1380.8. If I wanted to see dramatic loss, I wouldn't eat more than 1380 calories per day.

While you can go lower than 0.8, I do not recommend it. Eating less than 80% of your TDEE can trigger cravings, headaches, mood swings, and all manner of things that may discourage you early on. It is not a very sustainable diet plan in most cases, unless required by a licensed dietician. Again, direct questions to professionals.

That's it. It really is that simple, as silly as it sounds. There is no magic food that will help you slim down, and you do NOT have to live on salads and protein shakes if you are looking to shed pounds. You just have to eat less, especially if your goals are in the +50lbs range. If you were looking to lose say 15lbs, I would suggest specific dietary choices (low sodium/low sugar, increased raw veggies, etc). When you have less to lose, small screwups have big impacts, and you have to be more careful. As you lose weight, you will notice what I am talking about. But for now, it is a numbers game. You can eat pizza all day, as long as it is under your TDEE.

...not that I suggest this, because eating garbage makes you feel like garbage, but you know what I mean. Don't deprive yourself of your favourite foods, just eat less of them. I still drink alcohol and eat macaroni, it's just a little less often and in smaller portions because I think greek yogurt tastes like roadkill. It is a little more tricky, but I enjoy my weight loss process.

That's about it. Make absolutely sure to weigh yourself weekly and log EVERYTHING that goes into your mouth. Sauces, food, drink, candy, I don't care. If you keep those numbers accurate and stick to your plan, you will lose weight. Failing to log even one dessert can mess you up, there's more calories in food than you'd imagine, even the healthy stuff. Buy a food scale. It sounds dorky, but it works. Portion size approximations of nutrition labels are straight garbage half the time.

Happy hunting!

kimny72

OP, plug your stats into MFP, get your calorie goal and start logging. Keep it simple at first and just log what you would currently eat anyway. Log everything, accurately and consistently, even if it looks ugly. Start tweaking what you are eating and your portion sizes to begin to find a way to eat that you are happy with and that gets you to the correct amount of calories. Be patient be patient be patient. To stop the yo-yo-ing, you need to learn how to eat for the rest of your life, not just for the duration of a "diet".

Also, lose the idea of "perfect". NO ONE IS PERFECT. You will have days where you make bad choices. You will have days where you can't even make out your calorie goal in the rearview mirror. This happens to everyone. Just keep getting back on the horse! I can guarantee you that every single person who lost weight and successfully maintain that loss have had bad days. They just shrugged their shoulders and got right back on track.

Find ways to fit at least some of the foods you love in to your routine. I eat fast food a couple of times a week, and have something sweet for dessert almost every night. I save calories for the things that are worth it, and I play around with serving sizes.

Move more, however you want, as often as you can.

I will add, there are some people who logging will not work for. You mentioned feeling like you lose control after tracking points for so long. If logging is going to work for you, you really need to accept that perfection is not the goal. If you have a meal out and you have to guesstimate - no big deal! If you find yourself getting too obsessed with making the numbers perfect, you might need to take a step back. The key is using whatever time you spend logging to really learn how to eat sensibly for health and enjoyment for the long term. Good luck!!!

SueInAz

60Lola wrote: »

So I'm back on mfp after years of yo-yo dieting. I recently was on slimming world and while I saw good results I just found the plan a little to restrictive as I found eating out and socializing tough. I'm really tired of the ups and downs and just want to be a normal healthy weight. I feel like I have done so much damage to my body and I want it to stop. The thing is following all points and syns have made me feel like I have lost control if I don't have a perfect day. This sees me lose control and go on a bender.

I'm now here with the goal of losing weight, healthy and sensibly. I aim to lose a kg a week, 500g at minimum. I work an office job and don't do that excersise. I do walk around 3 miles (5k) at most 5 days a week. I have IBS and a pretty slow metabolism. I'm not sure where to start in terms of calories? I aim to lose 23 kg so eating 1200 a day seems to lose at this stage. Can anyone help me?

Your plan is in direct opposition with your goal to lose weight healthfully and sensibly. The fact that MFP has given you a goal of 1200 calories is a pretty good indication of this. If you have 23 kg to lose (about 51 pounds) you're going to have a very difficult time losing 1 kg per week. With such an aggressive goal, you're already setting yourself up for failure especially since you stated that you get upset if you don't "have a perfect day". Here are guidelines for your weight loss goal per week, although it's in pounds.

Pound per week goals
More than 75 lbs: lose 2 pounds per week (-1000 calories per day)
Between 40-75 lbs: lose 1.5 pounds per week (-750 calories per day)
Between 25-40 lbs: lose 1 pound per week (-500 calories per day)
Between 15-25 lbs: lose 1-0.5 pound per week (-500 to -250 calories per day)
Less than 15 lbs: lose 0.5 pound per week (-250 calories per day)

As you can see, in order to lose 1 kg (2.2 pounds) per week you have to be burning over 1000 calories per day more than you eat and you're going to find it nearly impossible to do that unless you are either starving yourself or spending hours at the gym which is not exactly healthy or sensible. Eating 1200 calories isn't going to create that deficit for you so you will be losing weight more slowly than your current plan. Will that cause you to lose control? If yes, it's time to change your expectations and your goal loss in MFP.

cross2bear

SueInAz wrote: »

60Lola wrote: »

So I'm back on mfp after years of yo-yo dieting. I recently was on slimming world and while I saw good results I just found the plan a little to restrictive as I found eating out and socializing tough. I'm really tired of the ups and downs and just want to be a normal healthy weight. I feel like I have done so much damage to my body and I want it to stop. The thing is following all points and syns have made me feel like I have lost control if I don't have a perfect day. This sees me lose control and go on a bender.

I'm now here with the goal of losing weight, healthy and sensibly. I aim to lose a kg a week, 500g at minimum. I work an office job and don't do that excersise. I do walk around 3 miles (5k) at most 5 days a week. I have IBS and a pretty slow metabolism. I'm not sure where to start in terms of calories? I aim to lose 23 kg so eating 1200 a day seems to lose at this stage. Can anyone help me?

Your plan is in direct opposition with your goal to lose weight healthfully and sensibly. The fact that MFP has given you a goal of 1200 calories is a pretty good indication of this. If you have 23 kg to lose (about 51 pounds) you're going to have a very difficult time losing 1 kg per week. With such an aggressive goal, you're already setting yourself up for failure especially since you stated that you get upset if you don't "have a perfect day". Here are guidelines for your weight loss goal per week, although it's in pounds.

Pound per week goals
More than 75 lbs: lose 2 pounds per week (-1000 calories per day)
Between 40-75 lbs: lose 1.5 pounds per week (-750 calories per day)
Between 25-40 lbs: lose 1 pound per week (-500 calories per day)
Between 15-25 lbs: lose 1-0.5 pound per week (-500 to -250 calories per day)
Less than 15 lbs: lose 0.5 pound per week (-250 calories per day)

As you can see, in order to lose 1 kg (2.2 pounds) per week you have to be burning over 1000 calories per day more than you eat and you're going to find it nearly impossible to do that unless you are either starving yourself or spending hours at the gym which is not exactly healthy or sensible. Eating 1200 calories isn't going to create that deficit for you so you will be losing weight more slowly than your current plan. Will that cause you to lose control? If yes, it's time to change your expectations and your goal loss in MFP.

******************************************************************************************************************
I disagree that this is an excessively aggressive goal. If the OP has over 50lbs to lose, then the chart you provided indicates that she can expect to lose 1.5 pounds per week safely. I have been doing that at 1200 calories daily for quite some time (months) and it is not as terrible as people make it out to be or think that it is. I am not hungry, my hair isnt falling out and I dont feel faint from lack of energy. I think it is medically and psychologically better to see a fast initial loss to provide some motivation to keep going. Calories can be adjusted up or down once a comfortable rhythm is established.

I think the OP's biggest hurdle is the all or nothing mentality - and the loss of control issues. OP, you really need to address this psychological barrier before you can be successful - it is simply not true that one bad day, or meal, or even mouthful will undo all the great work you have accomplished up to that point. Its as if you are looking for an excuse to eat out of control. You really have to get your will power working overtime and stop with the negative self talk. You are sabotaging yourself when you do this. I know because I used to do this too.

It is also not true that you have to bust your *kitten* in the gym to lose weight - weight loss is accomplished in the kitchen and toning is found in the gym. I've lost 108 lbs and have not set foot in a gym, or turned on a dvd that would see me jumping about. It has all been about portion control and calorie counting for me, and it can be that way for you too. Your mindset is your biggest friend or enemy, so get your poop in a group and commit to being a little more gentle with yorself as in the long run, that will work the best. Good luck

SueInAz

cross2bear wrote: »

SueInAz wrote: »

60Lola wrote: »

So I'm back on mfp after years of yo-yo dieting. I recently was on slimming world and while I saw good results I just found the plan a little to restrictive as I found eating out and socializing tough. I'm really tired of the ups and downs and just want to be a normal healthy weight. I feel like I have done so much damage to my body and I want it to stop. The thing is following all points and syns have made me feel like I have lost control if I don't have a perfect day. This sees me lose control and go on a bender.

I'm now here with the goal of losing weight, healthy and sensibly. I aim to lose a kg a week, 500g at minimum. I work an office job and don't do that excersise. I do walk around 3 miles (5k) at most 5 days a week. I have IBS and a pretty slow metabolism. I'm not sure where to start in terms of calories? I aim to lose 23 kg so eating 1200 a day seems to lose at this stage. Can anyone help me?

Your plan is in direct opposition with your goal to lose weight healthfully and sensibly. The fact that MFP has given you a goal of 1200 calories is a pretty good indication of this. If you have 23 kg to lose (about 51 pounds) you're going to have a very difficult time losing 1 kg per week. With such an aggressive goal, you're already setting yourself up for failure especially since you stated that you get upset if you don't "have a perfect day". Here are guidelines for your weight loss goal per week, although it's in pounds.

Pound per week goals
More than 75 lbs: lose 2 pounds per week (-1000 calories per day)
Between 40-75 lbs: lose 1.5 pounds per week (-750 calories per day)
Between 25-40 lbs: lose 1 pound per week (-500 calories per day)
Between 15-25 lbs: lose 1-0.5 pound per week (-500 to -250 calories per day)
Less than 15 lbs: lose 0.5 pound per week (-250 calories per day)

As you can see, in order to lose 1 kg (2.2 pounds) per week you have to be burning over 1000 calories per day more than you eat and you're going to find it nearly impossible to do that unless you are either starving yourself or spending hours at the gym which is not exactly healthy or sensible. Eating 1200 calories isn't going to create that deficit for you so you will be losing weight more slowly than your current plan. Will that cause you to lose control? If yes, it's time to change your expectations and your goal loss in MFP.

******************************************************************************************************************
I disagree that this is an excessively aggressive goal. If the OP has over 50lbs to lose, then the chart you provided indicates that she can expect to lose 1.5 pounds per week safely. I have been doing that at 1200 calories daily for quite some time (months) and it is not as terrible as people make it out to be or think that it is. I am not hungry, my hair isnt falling out and I dont feel faint from lack of energy. I think it is medically and psychologically better to see a fast initial loss to provide some motivation to keep going. Calories can be adjusted up or down once a comfortable rhythm is established.

I think the OP's biggest hurdle is the all or nothing mentality - and the loss of control issues. OP, you really need to address this psychological barrier before you can be successful - it is simply not true that one bad day, or meal, or even mouthful will undo all the great work you have accomplished up to that point. Its as if you are looking for an excuse to eat out of control. You really have to get your will power working overtime and stop with the negative self talk. You are sabotaging yourself when you do this. I know because I used to do this too.

It is also not true that you have to bust your *kitten* in the gym to lose weight - weight loss is accomplished in the kitchen and toning is found in the gym. I've lost 108 lbs and have not set foot in a gym, or turned on a dvd that would see me jumping about. It has all been about portion control and calorie counting for me, and it can be that way for you too. Your mindset is your biggest friend or enemy, so get your poop in a group and commit to being a little more gentle with yorself as in the long run, that will work the best. Good luck

If you read the original post, her stated goal is to lose 1 kg per week. That is not 1.5 pounds, it's 2.2 pounds. Since she has an issue with not meeting her goals it's best to start out being realistic about what's achievable, don't you think?

She's already been losing weight, she likely won't see a big initial drop in that case.

I didn't say she needed to bust anything in the gym. Exercise isn't needed for weight loss. If, however, she's trying to create a deficit larger than 1000 calories she'd need to do that. I'm not advising that, I'm making a point that she's saying she wants to lose weight in a sensible manner but then setting goals for herself that contradict that.

I agree that her largest issue appears to be her self-stated issue with perfectionism. In order to be successful she needs to understand what she can reasonably accomplish and not strive for something that's unattainable without causing misery. Having a realistic goal is the most important thing starting out so she's not setting herself up for failure from the start.

kimny72

SueInAz wrote: »

cross2bear wrote: »

SueInAz wrote: »

60Lola wrote: »

So I'm back on mfp after years of yo-yo dieting. I recently was on slimming world and while I saw good results I just found the plan a little to restrictive as I found eating out and socializing tough. I'm really tired of the ups and downs and just want to be a normal healthy weight. I feel like I have done so much damage to my body and I want it to stop. The thing is following all points and syns have made me feel like I have lost control if I don't have a perfect day. This sees me lose control and go on a bender.

I'm now here with the goal of losing weight, healthy and sensibly. I aim to lose a kg a week, 500g at minimum. I work an office job and don't do that excersise. I do walk around 3 miles (5k) at most 5 days a week. I have IBS and a pretty slow metabolism. I'm not sure where to start in terms of calories? I aim to lose 23 kg so eating 1200 a day seems to lose at this stage. Can anyone help me?

Your plan is in direct opposition with your goal to lose weight healthfully and sensibly. The fact that MFP has given you a goal of 1200 calories is a pretty good indication of this. If you have 23 kg to lose (about 51 pounds) you're going to have a very difficult time losing 1 kg per week. With such an aggressive goal, you're already setting yourself up for failure especially since you stated that you get upset if you don't "have a perfect day". Here are guidelines for your weight loss goal per week, although it's in pounds.

Pound per week goals
More than 75 lbs: lose 2 pounds per week (-1000 calories per day)
Between 40-75 lbs: lose 1.5 pounds per week (-750 calories per day)
Between 25-40 lbs: lose 1 pound per week (-500 calories per day)
Between 15-25 lbs: lose 1-0.5 pound per week (-500 to -250 calories per day)
Less than 15 lbs: lose 0.5 pound per week (-250 calories per day)

As you can see, in order to lose 1 kg (2.2 pounds) per week you have to be burning over 1000 calories per day more than you eat and you're going to find it nearly impossible to do that unless you are either starving yourself or spending hours at the gym which is not exactly healthy or sensible. Eating 1200 calories isn't going to create that deficit for you so you will be losing weight more slowly than your current plan. Will that cause you to lose control? If yes, it's time to change your expectations and your goal loss in MFP.

******************************************************************************************************************
I disagree that this is an excessively aggressive goal. If the OP has over 50lbs to lose, then the chart you provided indicates that she can expect to lose 1.5 pounds per week safely. I have been doing that at 1200 calories daily for quite some time (months) and it is not as terrible as people make it out to be or think that it is. I am not hungry, my hair isnt falling out and I dont feel faint from lack of energy. I think it is medically and psychologically better to see a fast initial loss to provide some motivation to keep going. Calories can be adjusted up or down once a comfortable rhythm is established.

I think the OP's biggest hurdle is the all or nothing mentality - and the loss of control issues. OP, you really need to address this psychological barrier before you can be successful - it is simply not true that one bad day, or meal, or even mouthful will undo all the great work you have accomplished up to that point. Its as if you are looking for an excuse to eat out of control. You really have to get your will power working overtime and stop with the negative self talk. You are sabotaging yourself when you do this. I know because I used to do this too.

It is also not true that you have to bust your *kitten* in the gym to lose weight - weight loss is accomplished in the kitchen and toning is found in the gym. I've lost 108 lbs and have not set foot in a gym, or turned on a dvd that would see me jumping about. It has all been about portion control and calorie counting for me, and it can be that way for you too. Your mindset is your biggest friend or enemy, so get your poop in a group and commit to being a little more gentle with yorself as in the long run, that will work the best. Good luck

If you read the original post, her stated goal is to lose 1 kg per week. That is not 1.5 pounds, it's 2.2 pounds. Since she has an issue with not meeting her goals it's best to start out being realistic about what's achievable, don't you think?

She's already been losing weight, she likely won't see a big initial drop in that case.

I didn't say she needed to bust anything in the gym. Exercise isn't needed for weight loss. If, however, she's trying to create a deficit larger than 1000 calories she'd need to do that. I'm not advising that, I'm making a point that she's saying she wants to lose weight in a sensible manner but then setting goals for herself that contradict that.

Just wanted to second this. If OP has been yoyoing, her best bet is to lose a little slower and work towards a diet she can maintain once she reaches goal. She flat out said she found previous programs too restrictive, which is probably why she went back to overeating and gained it back. She has been setting aggressive goals and when she falls a little short she goes off the rails. Some people can successfully lose weight quickly and keep it off, but that clearly hasn't been working in this case.