Figured something out yesterday

Cheeky_0102

I always feel like my husband should be as excited about my weight loss as I am. I want him to see me after a week and be pleased to know that I'm his hot young wife, and that he's lucky to have me.
We all know men just aren;t capable of reading our minds, or our less than subtle hints, but we keep hanging on to that hope.

Well yesterday, he was on his way to a bbq that i wasn't attending (in anotehr city, long story) and he mentioned there was a pool and he wouldn't bother bringing his shorts. I said "yea, you hate getting wet" because he NEVER plays with us in the water.

Then he mentioned that he's just not comfortable in a bathing suit.

I had always just assumed he was ok with his body... he has a bit of a belly, but most guys over 40 do... he's pretty fit, but not working on it, that's for sure. It's gotten better since i started eating better, but after the inital shock of the food chane, he started back to having his junk food snacks, licorice in the car, more than one soda/day, a little more beer than he probably needs.

I guess part of why i'm not getting the attention i want is because he doesnt want to think about what he isn't doing! He started jogging with me and lasted a few weeks, while i went and nailed the c25k. He took our bikes out of storage and his has come out once, while mine is out several times / week with baby in tow...

I can't make him tag along on my journey, and i can only give him the tools to make the changes he wants to when he's ready. I'll be waiting here for him, in the mean time, i will try to remind myself that he does see the changes, but he is just trying to not draw the attention back to himself.

I feel better now having made this realization.

minizebu

I don't want to seem like I am being negative in a Success Story post response, but I don't think that I agree with your assessment.

When you live with a person or see someone every day, it can be difficult to notice gradual changes. If you are losing, say, a pound a week, or lifting weights and working on your body recomposition, then you will be very conscious of your efforts and will notice changes in the mirror (and certainly in clothing fit, and in fitness level) much sooner than someone who is not tuned in to the changes.

It can take many pounds of weight loss before a person close to you will make a comment about it. However, if you see someone that you do not see every day, they will notice the changes in you very quickly, because you look so different now from their last point of reference. Think about it. The same thing happens with children. You may not notice that your kids look different than they did a few weeks ago. However, when you see one of your children's classmates on the first day of school after not having seen them during the summer, then you immediately notice their growth.

Give your husband some time and he will be more cognizant of the changes and more appreciative of your new body. I really don't think that his failure to comment is an attempt to avoid drawing attention back to himself.

If you want to jump-start a comment from him, then you could look at old photographs of the two of you together (when you weighed more than you do now). It is much easier to notice changes in weight and body size when you look at photographs that reflect the changes.

I wish you continued success in your fitness and health journey. Congratulations on your progress so far! And, kudos to you for providing your husband with the tools for change. He certainly may follow in your footsteps in the future. You are right not to pressure him. Be patient with him. He may yet surprise you with a hand on either side of your hips and a comment about how much less of you there is to hug.

CooperSprings

I have tried in the past to lose weight, but I always ended up giving up because no one else in the house was on board with me. My man recently attended a funeral of a man in his early 50s. Ever since then he's been going on jogs and has even asked me to open an account on here for him and help him keep track of his calories. This automatically made me start working out, as if I've been waiting for this moment our entire relationship, as if we're really working hard and doing something to better ourselves together. I hope that your husband becomes willing to change himself in order to feel better about his body. Maybe a visit to a funeral or two will kick him into gear, lol!

anewlife1980

I don't want to seem like I am being negative in a Success Story post response, but I don't think that I agree with your assessment.

When you live with a person or see someone every day, it can be difficult to notice gradual changes. If you are losing, say, a pound a week, or lifting weights and working on your body recomposition, then you will be very conscious of your efforts and will notice changes in the mirror (and certainly in clothing fit, and in fitness level) much sooner than someone who is not tuned in to the changes.

It can take many pounds of weight loss before a person close to you will make a comment about it. However, if you see someone that you do not see every day, they will notice the changes in you very quickly, because you look so different now from their last point of reference. Think about it. The same thing happens with children. You may not notice that your kids look different than they did a few weeks ago. However, when you see one of your children's classmates on the first day of school after not having seen them during the summer, then you immediately notice their growth.

Give your husband some time and he will be more cognizant of the changes and more appreciative of your new body. I really don't think that his failure to comment is an attempt to avoid drawing attention back to himself.

If you want to jump-start a comment from him, then you could look at old photographs of the two of you together (when you weighed more than you do now). It is much easier to notice changes in weight and body size when you look at photographs that reflect the changes.

I wish you continued success in your fitness and health journey. Congratulations on your progress so far! And, kudos to you for providing your husband with the tools for change. He certainly may follow in your footsteps in the future. You are right not to pressure him. Be patient with him. He may yet surprise you with a hand on either side of your hips and a comment about how much less of you there is to hug.

I agree, my husband & I both started this journey together back in Feb & we were a LONG time before either of us could see it just by looking at each other, or in the mirror for that matter. I first noticed hubbys face had slimmed down after he had about 30lbs gone, just the shirt he was wearing when I looked up it hit me. He didn't agree bc its always harder to see if on ourselves. So I did a side by side facial comparison for him, then we both saw how big a change it was. Now he is down 76lbs, I am down 63lbs, I can see it on him everywhere, he has told me he can see it esp around my waist, hips & butt. He will say it at random times which is nice but I had 30 or 40lbs gone before he first said anything. It does take a long time. Our neighbor goes to China every year for about 7mths, he isn't long back & we were both outside a few days ago & the neighbor was shocked at how much weight hubby had lost, said he didn't even think it was him at first. But yet didn't say one word about me. Now in all fairness, he has only seen me a handful of times but still, I was hurt he noticed it in hubby & not me since I have alot gone. Hubby ALWAYS gets the comments before I do, I often feel like an after though. "hubby looks amazing oh & so do you!" somehow its just not the same but it is what it is. I think as women we tend to put more weight on the compliments, men just let them go, we fish for them or want them more.