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MyFitnessPal Community

Self defeating mindset

trudiebamford

Okay, I know I can't be the only one battling a constant voice in their head, telling them "you can't do this". Mine never goes away. It's loudest before I start my workout, but chatters all the way through it too. I don't give in, but I KNOW if I had more self belief I could push myself harder. My body is much stronger than my mind will accept. Help!!

Replies

Cherimoose

Gotta update your mental software to Mindset 2.0.

Simplest advice would be to chant to yourself repeatedly during your workout "I can do this!". Bonus points for chanting out loud like Ronnie Coleman.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=ssA4Pht5Moc

Why do you think you have that mindset? Do you have an old injury you're afraid of reinjuring? Over-critical parents?

trudiebamford

I've spent my whole life being told by my family, you won't be able to do that, it's too much for you, you won't be able to cope, you're not strong enough. And it's only in the last couple of years that I've fought back. I know I'm strong, but I still can't shut that voice up! And it does cause me to give up sometimes, when I should fight harder.

NorthCascades

Try rock climbing. If you can get to the top of that cliff, you can do anything.

CSARdiver

This is true for most people. They defeat themselves before anyone has a chance to do it. Negative people will tell you that you can't do that, because they can't do that. Put as much distance as possible between you and negative people.

There are many great leaders out there who have devised camps, workshops, etc. to get you through this and break your personal boundaries. A good personal trainer will get you to do the same.

One of my teammates posted a fantastic scene from the movie "Facing the Giants":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sUKoKQlEC4

Boundary breaking is infectious. Once you do it in one part of your life you tend to do this in others.

Make a list and make it your life's goal proving them wrong.

upoffthemat

Give yourself the same advice you would give someone else. I bet you would never talk to anyone else the way you talk to yourself. When I came to that realization it helped me a lot. I am not being a narcissist, delusional, or anything else by being kind to myself. I am only doing what I would do for anyone else
I am still not perfect at it, but when I find myself in that bad self talk I work hard to evaluate if I am being fair to myself, giving myself the same chance I would give anyone else. I deserve at least an even chance. I actually deserve more, but an even chance is more than I have given myself for much of my life.

rosebarnalice

I created an "affirmation alphabet" that I repeat to myself as I swim. Each lap is one letter, and during that lap I repeat the affirmation over and over. It's also the way I count laps!

I've found that it's become sort of a meditation game for me while I work out-- and that even when I'm not really in the mood to get my sweat on (or more accurately, get my WET on. . ) I DO look forward to the meditative part--which gets me in the water.

Here's my current alphabet:

Athletic, artistic, alert and alive!
For beauty and balance be on the breath
creatively centered creatively centered creatively centered
delightfully determined
earth environment and everythign
go for your goals with grace and gratitude
happy is healthy is happy is healthy is happy is. . .
intentional is inspirational is intentional is inspirational is. . .
joy on the journey for joy on the journey for joy on. . .
kindle kindness kindle kindness kindle kindness
learn to listen to learn to listen to learn. . .
memory making mindful of meaning
nutritional needs nutritional needs nutritional needs nutritional needs
open for opportunity to open for opportunity to open. . .
pursue your passions with patience and persistence
quench in quiet to quench in quiet to quench. .
reach and release and reach and release and reach and. . .
swimming and singing and singing and swimming and singing. .
Tommy time! Tommy time! Tommy time! (to remind me that time spent with my sweetie is a gift!)
unique and universal and unique and . . .
vitamin variety vitamin variety vitamin variety
working for welliness is working for wellness is working for . . .
eXcited for eXercise
yes, and. . .yoga! yes, and. . .yoga! yes, and. . .yoga!
zen zoobe oobe doobie zen zoobe oobe doobie zen zoobe oobe doobie( hey, it's fun to say!)

leanjogreen18

trudiebamford wrote: »

I've spent my whole life being told by my family, you won't be able to do that, it's too much for you, you won't be able to cope, you're not strong enough. And it's only in the last couple of years that I've fought back. I know I'm strong, but I still can't shut that voice up! And it does cause me to give up sometimes, when I should fight harder.

You are not those thoughts. Create new thoughts, amazingly you have that power!

puffbrat

rosebarnalice wrote: »

I created an "affirmation alphabet" that I repeat to myself as I swim. Each lap is one letter, and during that lap I repeat the affirmation over and over. It's also the way I count laps!

I've found that it's become sort of a meditation game for me while I work out-- and that even when I'm not really in the mood to get my sweat on (or more accurately, get my WET on. . ) I DO look forward to the meditative part--which gets me in the water.

Here's my current alphabet:
Athletic, artistic, alert and alive!

For beauty and balance be on the breath

creatively centered creatively centered creatively centered

delightfully determined

earth environment and everythign

go for your goals with grace and gratitude

happy is healthy is happy is healthy is happy is. . .

intentional is inspirational is intentional is inspirational is. . .

joy on the journey for joy on the journey for joy on. . .

kindle kindness kindle kindness kindle kindness

learn to listen to learn to listen to learn. . .

memory making mindful of meaning

nutritional needs nutritional needs nutritional needs nutritional needs

open for opportunity to open for opportunity to open. . .

pursue your passions with patience and persistence

quench in quiet to quench in quiet to quench. .

reach and release and reach and release and reach and. . .

swimming and singing and singing and swimming and singing. .

Tommy time! Tommy time! Tommy time! (to remind me that time spent with my sweetie is a gift!)

unique and universal and unique and . . .

vitamin variety vitamin variety vitamin variety

working for welliness is working for wellness is working for . . .

eXcited for eXercise

yes, and. . .yoga! yes, and. . .yoga! yes, and. . .yoga!

zen zoobe oobe doobie zen zoobe oobe doobie zen zoobe oobe doobie( hey, it's fun to say!)

I love this!

OP - I get the same way. I try to tell myself to just show up or just do a little more. Just change and go to the gym. Just step out the door to go for a walk. I will go just a little farther. I will go for just a little longer. Before I know it, I often find myself doing even more than just that little bit I promised myself. I may not be reaching my potential but I'm doing more.

trudiebamford

Thanks everyone. Rosebarnalice, I love that!!