Self defeating mindset

trudiebamford
trudiebamford Posts: 88 Member
edited December 2024 in Fitness and Exercise
Okay, I know I can't be the only one battling a constant voice in their head, telling them "you can't do this". Mine never goes away. It's loudest before I start my workout, but chatters all the way through it too. I don't give in, but I KNOW if I had more self belief I could push myself harder. My body is much stronger than my mind will accept. Help!!

Replies

  • Cherimoose
    Cherimoose Posts: 5,208 Member
    Gotta update your mental software to Mindset 2.0. :+1:

    Simplest advice would be to chant to yourself repeatedly during your workout "I can do this!". Bonus points for chanting out loud like Ronnie Coleman. B)https://youtube.com/watch?v=ssA4Pht5Moc

    Why do you think you have that mindset? Do you have an old injury you're afraid of reinjuring? Over-critical parents?
  • trudiebamford
    trudiebamford Posts: 88 Member
    I've spent my whole life being told by my family, you won't be able to do that, it's too much for you, you won't be able to cope, you're not strong enough. And it's only in the last couple of years that I've fought back. I know I'm strong, but I still can't shut that voice up! And it does cause me to give up sometimes, when I should fight harder.
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,968 Member
    Try rock climbing. If you can get to the top of that cliff, you can do anything.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    This is true for most people. They defeat themselves before anyone has a chance to do it. Negative people will tell you that you can't do that, because they can't do that. Put as much distance as possible between you and negative people.

    There are many great leaders out there who have devised camps, workshops, etc. to get you through this and break your personal boundaries. A good personal trainer will get you to do the same.

    One of my teammates posted a fantastic scene from the movie "Facing the Giants":

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sUKoKQlEC4

    Boundary breaking is infectious. Once you do it in one part of your life you tend to do this in others.

    Make a list and make it your life's goal proving them wrong.
  • upoffthemat
    upoffthemat Posts: 679 Member
    Give yourself the same advice you would give someone else. I bet you would never talk to anyone else the way you talk to yourself. When I came to that realization it helped me a lot. I am not being a narcissist, delusional, or anything else by being kind to myself. I am only doing what I would do for anyone else
    I am still not perfect at it, but when I find myself in that bad self talk I work hard to evaluate if I am being fair to myself, giving myself the same chance I would give anyone else. I deserve at least an even chance. I actually deserve more, but an even chance is more than I have given myself for much of my life.
  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
    trudiebamford wrote: »
    I've spent my whole life being told by my family, you won't be able to do that, it's too much for you, you won't be able to cope, you're not strong enough. And it's only in the last couple of years that I've fought back. I know I'm strong, but I still can't shut that voice up! And it does cause me to give up sometimes, when I should fight harder.

    You are not those thoughts. Create new thoughts, amazingly you have that power!
  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
    rosebarnalice wrote: »
    I created an "affirmation alphabet" that I repeat to myself as I swim. Each lap is one letter, and during that lap I repeat the affirmation over and over. It's also the way I count laps!

    I've found that it's become sort of a meditation game for me while I work out-- and that even when I'm not really in the mood to get my sweat on (or more accurately, get my WET on. . ) I DO look forward to the meditative part--which gets me in the water.

    Here's my current alphabet:
    1. Athletic, artistic, alert and alive!
    2. For beauty and balance be on the breath
    3. creatively centered creatively centered creatively centered
    4. delightfully determined
    5. earth environment and everythign
    6. go for your goals with grace and gratitude
    7. happy is healthy is happy is healthy is happy is. . .
    8. intentional is inspirational is intentional is inspirational is. . .
    9. joy on the journey for joy on the journey for joy on. . .
    10. kindle kindness kindle kindness kindle kindness
    11. learn to listen to learn to listen to learn. . .
    12. memory making mindful of meaning
    13. nutritional needs nutritional needs nutritional needs nutritional needs
    14. open for opportunity to open for opportunity to open. . .
    15. pursue your passions with patience and persistence
    16. quench in quiet to quench in quiet to quench. .
    17. reach and release and reach and release and reach and. . .
    18. swimming and singing and singing and swimming and singing. .
    19. Tommy time! Tommy time! Tommy time! (to remind me that time spent with my sweetie is a gift!)
    20. unique and universal and unique and . . .
    21. vitamin variety vitamin variety vitamin variety
    22. working for welliness is working for wellness is working for . . .
    23. eXcited for eXercise
    24. yes, and. . .yoga! yes, and. . .yoga! yes, and. . .yoga!
    25. zen zoobe oobe doobie zen zoobe oobe doobie zen zoobe oobe doobie( hey, it's fun to say!)

    I love this!

    OP - I get the same way. I try to tell myself to just show up or just do a little more. Just change and go to the gym. Just step out the door to go for a walk. I will go just a little farther. I will go for just a little longer. Before I know it, I often find myself doing even more than just that little bit I promised myself. I may not be reaching my potential but I'm doing more.
  • trudiebamford
    trudiebamford Posts: 88 Member
    Thanks everyone. Rosebarnalice, I love that!!
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