I am disordered, what steps should I take?

magicpickles

I have an unhealthy relationship with food, exercise and my body. Are there are steps I should take before I start losing weight?

The thought of taking time to just maintain freaks me out, but I guess its better than losing weight.

I am convinced I cannot stay within a calorie amount.

I consider overexercising to get a much great number of calories, getting up much earlier than I am happy with, skipping meals etc etc.... I wish I could just be normal.

I tried to not consider food as good/bad but then I ate mostly unhealthy foods and now I am in the process of finding out if I have diabetes- it doesn't look good.

I have lost 17kg and kept 15 off but I am having a rough time.

I am sick of the way I look being the main focus of my life and of hating myself because of how I look. I feel like people don't treat me as well as they should because I'm heavy or feel superior to me.

Fursian

The first step could be seeking some outside help for the emotional stuff. This looks like it runs far deeper than just weight loss, and it seems to have taken hold of your life.

magicpickles

Another thing is, I want to eat until I'm almost stuffed and I want to eat foods I love, but I don't think thats possible with the amount of calories I am allowed, even if I increase them to the maximum amount.

magicpickles

Fursian wrote: »

The first step could be seeking some outside help for the emotional stuff. This looks like it runs far deeper than just weight loss, and it seems to have taken hold of your life.

You're right, and its been like this since I was 8/9 to varying degrees.

PurplePamplemousse

I've struggled with eating disorders in the past (and in some ways I'm still in recovery), so I can relate to how you feel.

Definitely your first step should be to seek some professional help. Once you're able to get at some of the issues behind these feelings, you'll be better able to deal with them. You'll also be able to access advice and support to make sure you don't end up in destructive patterns.

When you're ready to start losing weight, I have found it's helpful to remember that you can choose to create a smaller deficit and lose weight at a slower pace. This allows you to make small changes to your lifestyle, still eat plenty of food, and put much less stress on your body.

magicpickles

@PurplePamplemousse Thanks, I have accepted your friend request.

shellyld2016

I agree that you could benefit from a counselor. It might just help you put things in proper perspective. They have a way of helping sort through things that can make more sense to you.
There are some behavior and mind games most of us play with ourselves. It's why we became unhealthy to begin with. Some more than others. While some just are aware and make unhealthy choices, others find little mind tricks to justify it. Those can take time to overcome, but you can.
Take one or two at a time. Calories are doable. You don't have to deprive yourself of your favorite things, but find better options for some when you can.
Load up on veggies first. They are low in calories and help fill you up while giving your body what it needs. This is a major step of you are not used to eating them, but within a couple weeks you will feel the difference! Fruit makes great dessert and you can put some with sugar free jello to make it feel more like dessert if you need to start off that way.
After all the healthy goals are met just fill in with the things you want, measured out of course.
Think of how great it will feel to be in control after feeling so out of control for so long! I can tell you it does feel good.
Water water water
Exercise calories, I don't eat mine. You could call them winning calories, fat burners, or whatever you need to. Hey, gamers play games. Just play to win! If you really need them one day, don't beat yourself up. Just don't do it every day for better results. If you decide to do it just be sure you are ok with it on the scale. It is ok to not lose every week if you are making good healthy choices and life happens. It does for all of us.
Our minds can take a lot of time to catch up. You can do it. You have seen the mind tricks you want to play and have called yourself out. That is a step towards your victory. I would write them down and under each one, your strategy.

Sira125

I agree with the counseling recommendations. It is hard to know where the lines are in weight management and easy to get obsessed or under -eat or get depressed and give up. Outside help can be gold.

Maybe you could focus on some healthy changes to make transitioning to a healthier lifestyle easier. Like tracking what you eat so you have a baseline. Same for steps or exercise. Or try adding a vegetable a day to what you eat now (getting vegetables seems to be a thing for a lot of people).

Keep in mind, too, that the impacts of an unhealthy diet go beyond weight. You can't exercise all of those away so it is better not to put yourself in a place where you feel you need to.

Sira125

Also re: good and bad foods it may be easier to slot foods into a grid based on how frequently you should consider eating it and in what portions. From everyday and large portions to once a month (or year, you decide) and tiny portions. You might decide that for you olive oil is tiny amounts every day. It may make it easier to make better choices without being too disappointed with yourself when you skip up.

vingogly

Beck Diet Solution is an excellent cognitive behavioral approach to managing your relationship to food:

http://www.beckdietsolution.com

Here is a good resource for finding a licensed therapist in your area; you can specify "weight loss", gender, insurance plan, etc. as filters:

https://therapists.psychologytoday.com

I do suggest finding a counselor to work with that specializes in weight loss issues. That will provide you with an objective outside source of feedback and accountability, as well as techniques that will help you stay focused. You don't have to go it alone.

When I started my weight loss a few years ago, my doctor suggested focusing on diet and leaving the exercise for later to keep it simple. That was good advice for me since it kept me from getting overwhelmed by having to worry about exercise as well as diet. You don't HAVE to exercise to lose weight. You might want to consider doing the same.