Feeling hopeful

tiffsaddiction

It's taken me a bit to finally be ready to do something about all of this extra weight I've gained.

(This ended up longer than I thought it would.)

I grew up heavy and always on a diet. I was always been bigger and taller than everyone from 5-14 years old. Once I was in high school I lost weight (never noticed) from being active but still felt fat since I was still taller and bigger (5'8, 150lbs, size 14) than my friends.

My weight yoyo'd (diet pills) after high school (145-185) but then settled in the 170's after I was married and had my first child.

I moved and depression hit me. I went up to 200lbs and then got pregnant. I was up to 229lbs and then I lost weight by cutting out all processed foods. If I wanted junk type food, I had to make it from scratch to eat it. Got down to 180.

Depression hit again and I packed on more weight, all the way up to 236lbs. I started heavy doses of Niacin and it helped to dig myself out of the depressing hole I was in. One year I had read over 300 books just because I wasn't dealing with real life well and wanted to live in the fantasy that books brought.

I started out by cutting out eating meat by eating a pescatarian diet which is basically a vegetarian plus seafood/fish. I also cut out eating candy (my favorite), chips and fried foods. I thought for sure that I would lose weight but I ended up gaining instead. At 244lbs I decided to start journaling what I've been eating to see what the heck was going on. I also decided to stop eating most processed foods as well.

I'm going to sign up for a 5k at Thanksgiving time and need to find a fun fitness class. I taught dance for most of my life and stopped a few years ago. I know my sedentary lifestyle affects how I feel. Gaining weight and being heavy is really affecting how I not only see myself but also going out and doing things. I need to find ways to prevent getting depressed again and need to make myself (my health) a priority.

Thanks for reading!