Over eating?! Help please.

Jensylkat5

Hey guys.

I am seriously struggling here... And I wondered if anyone can give me any advice. I do struggle, and have always struggled with, compulsive eating. I had lost 65lbs in 2014/15 and that was mainly done by me planning the hell out of everything, my food, my exercise, my sleep. I used to cook healthy meals in the evening, take half portions for lunch sometimes, if I was invited at my parents for dinner I would ask for the recipe in advance and work it all out to plan how much of what I was allowed to eat. With that approach I found it relatively easy to lose and I didn't have very many wobbles. And then....

In the summer 2015 my hours at work were upped and I started being more tired and the weight started creeping up again. And this year (because working in a boring office so much is making me unhappy, plus my money is shockingly bad) I have gone back to college 2 evenings a week to retrain. But being a single parent, working full time, two college courses with two lots of homework and the house and garden and shopping to take care of is leaving me so tired out. I sometimes manage for about 2 days to stick to my calories (mostly on the weekends), but other than that it's the same every day: I look at my wardrobe in the morning, realise how many of my beautiful clothes I can't wear anymore because I'm too fat, get completely motivated to change this. I then have a good breakfast, pack a healthy snack, come home for a good lunch.... And then it all goes wrong. I put a healthy snack aside for when I get home from work, but by that time starting to hang out my a*** and then I eat my healthy snack and before I know it, I have gone routing in the fridge or cupboard for more. I very often find myself eating stuff I can't even remember getting! It just goes downhill from there... I can't be bothered to track anything, have no motivation or interest in cooking or working out recipes and when I'm in that state, losing weight seems so unimportant, all that is important is that I get food, I get it now, and I don't have to do anything for it. Even though somewhere deep down I do know it's still important, I can't seem to make that little voice louder And it seems to be the same every day! Weight is slowly but surely creeping up again, I have gained 11kg since last year.

I'm so upset with myself! I worked really hard to lose the weight in the first place and I felt great - even though I wasn't quite done yet. And now look! My clothes don't fit me, I have no money to buy new clothes and I hate food and weight and not being a celebrity who has a personal chef as well a personal trainer!!

Jensylkat5

Just looking for anyone who might have overcome a problem like this, or someone fighting a similar battle, for support. Or just some positively confident words, telling me I can overcome this and be my own master again... Anyone?!

Aaron_K123

That is undoubtedly tough. Job, school, single motherhood, low money is a perfect storm of sorts especially if food is a source of comfort or stress relief for you.

It'd hard to even muster up the arrogance to suggest something to someone that busy. Life is about priorities and no one is going to be able to have it all....have to make hard decisions between health, family and career.

The only thing I would say is you seem overwhelmed so I am wondering if you have family or friends that could help with daycare that would give you that several extra hours to decompress and cook meals for your week. Don't provide yourself with the convince of high calorie snacks and always have a Tupperware with a prepared meal on hand.

Other than that hard to say, maybe others who have been there will have more specific tips or advice.

Sued0nim

Batch cook ...Larger than 1 extra meals worth ..pre portion it out and freeze some / fridge some

How old are kids? Can they help cook / clean? If they're over 8 they can.

If your beautiful clothes are what motivates you ...hang some in the kitchen, in front of the fridge ...or put photos of you in them on the fridge

Don't have food you know you'll rummage for in the House

Pre log your entire day ..including snacks

Pre pack it in bags or Tupperware and stack it so if you go rummaging you have it pre-prepared

But mainly commit ...you know how to do it, stop excusing yourself because life is tough. Not saying it isn't but heck love that's life ...

offer to look after someone's toddler twins for a couple of days ...I promise you as soon as they're gone your life will feel like a breeze

JenniferNoll

Wow. You have a lot on your plate, and I'm not talking about what you're eating. You sound really depressed, and in your position, I would be too. If you think that's the case, speak to your doctor. He/she may be able to help you.

I understand about rooting around in the fridge, even when you're not really hungry. I did it myself a lot. It was like I was trying to fill an empty hole inside of me.

Sued0nim wrote: »

Batch cook ...Larger than 1 extra meals worth ..pre portion it out and freeze some / fridge some

How old are kids? Can they help cook / clean? If they're over 8 they can.

If your beautiful clothes are what motivates you ...hang some in the kitchen, in front of the fridge ...or put photos of you in them on the fridge

Don't have food you know you'll rummage for in the House

Pre log your entire day ..including snacks

Pre pack it in bags or Tupperware and stack it so if you go rummaging you have it pre-prepared

But mainly commit ...you know how to do it, stop excusing yourself because life is tough. Not saying it isn't but heck love that's life ...

offer to look after someone's toddler twins for a couple of days ...I promise you as soon as they're gone your life will feel like a breeze

There is some great advice there. I also find that something that has a strong flavor to it, like pickles, pickled peppers, spicy foods, things like that, stop me in my tracks. Those items are also generally very low in calories. You may want to try that too.

I also bet you're not getting enough sleep. These days, who does? Try and get some rest. It will help. I promise.

Also, it sounds like you can use some respite. Check with your area churches for "Moms' night out." You could have a couple of hours to do something you want to do for yourself.

Take care of yourself. You need to be taken care of just as much as your children do. Good luck.

SueInAz

Oh, boy, I have been there! First of all, a huge hug because you sound like you need it. I think your issue goes much deeper than overeating and I'm going to go on a rambling discussion about me but I want you to be thinking about how you can apply this to YOU while you read it. I am hoping it will help you.

I went back to school in 2010 at the age of 44 while working full time, kids, house, etc. It was a crazy 6 years and I was soooo glad to finish this past June. Now, of course, I'm half thinking about going back for another 30 months to get my Masters and half thinking I'm crazy for even considering it!!

What I had to do back then was prioritize the things going on with my life. I realized I couldn't possibly do it all and expect to either get enough sleep or remain sane. I subscribe to the big rocks/little rocks theory, if you've ever heard that story. The really important things are the big rocks you're trying to fit into a jar that represents your life. You can have just a couple of those. Then you fill in with smaller rocks and everything else is the sand that fills in the chinks between the rocks. What you need to do is determine what your big rocks and smaller rocks are. For me it went something like this:

My big three were spending quality time with my husband and son, my schoolwork and my job (they were footing the bill for my education and expecting my work not to suffer as a result, plus of course, my salary). Smaller rocks were things like going to karaoke with my mom every Wednesday night, going out to dinner with my family every Friday night, my one hour per day exercise regimen of running and weight lifting, having clean clothes to wear, and doing the grocery shopping. Everything else was negotiable and that included things like making a healthy dinner every night, keeping my house spic and span and other things that didn't necessarily have to get done on a consistent basis and to perfection. I also assigned certain chores to my husband and son but didn't necessarily micromanage them, I just didn't want to be responsible for them.

Once I had determined my priorities I knew I needed to be organized to keep everything straight. I kept a family calendar and multiple to-do lists to keep me on track. I used Cozi.com for all of that because I could install it on my PC, my phone and my tablet and it was available wherever I went. It also sends a weekly calendar to all three of us and that reminds my son and husband to keep me up to date on things in their schedules that might impact me. At the beginning of every 9 week school term I created a to do list of all of the coursework that was due during each week. That included anything I had to read, papers that were due or that needed to be at a certain milestone, exams, etc. I could then check each assignment off as I completed it and instantly know where I stood at any point in the week. I also had a personal to do list to keep track of all of the things we have to do to run a house. If I didn't write things down as soon as I learned about them I was likely to forget them so the to do lists were really, really important.

As a part of the family calendar I scheduled out time for the things that were my rocks. My karaoke, Friday nights out and the hour each day for my running or weight lifting which are on alternating days. Anything my son had going on or family events took priority or I made excuses. Tuesday and Thursday nights I picked up something for dinner on the way home and spent most of the night doing schoolwork. I tried to make dinner on Mondays, and usually spent the evening with my husband watching a movie or something. Wednesdays I usually made dinner before going out but it often became pizza night. My husband cooked on weekends and I did schoolwork then as needed.

Extremely important to all of this, bedtime was at 10pm unless I had an urgent deadline to meet and that was seldom. Sleep is so very, very important and I always tried to get at least 7 hours on weekdays and 8 on weekends.

So, take a step back and really take a good look at how much you are trying to cram into 24 hours. First of all, are you getting enough sleep? Many people don't seem to realize how important that is to how you feel every day and even to weight loss. Start scheduling yourself enough time to sleep.

I was looking at your list of things you do and that's what got me started on all of this. Are there some things you can let go? Gardening is nice if you have the time for it but is it necessary right now? Can someone else take on some of that or can you cut back or let it go entirely? Kids can weed, for example (I know because it was one of my chores when we lived in CT and could grow one). Make your own list of rocks and start prioritizing your life and keeping track of what you're doing and you may find you either have more free time than you think, you get a better handle on the stress that's causing more of the problems than you may realize and you can find the way to get through this really busy time in your life and come out the other side with your wits intact.

If you want to vent, chat or pick my brain on more of this stuff, I'm really happy to help. Just friend or message me.

ahoy_m8

A big hug and understanding nod, OP. You have a lot going on. Know what you mean about a job that runs you ragged while also being (1) depressing and (2) bad money. Good on you for making the investment in yourself with school. I know it's hard. You're worth it, though.

The advice above sounds really good to me. I have to agree with so much of it... the big rocks, the getting enough sleep, keeping temptation out of the house, all of it. I have only 2 words to add -- slow cooker. If cooking is hard on your schedule big batches is the way to go. Ditto re: freeze half and portion the rest out for later in the week. The slow cooker can be fantastic for this. Throw it all in and leave. Also, there are inexpensive foods that are also really healthy that also freeze well and also can be made in a slow cooker. All kinds of legume dishes, that sort of thing. Hang in there.

SCoil123

I was a single mom of an autistic toddler when I put myself through school. It was hard and I totally know that feeling of no time or energy left for yourself. Please feel free to add me. You can totally do this! And you deserve to feel healthy and good about you.

Im also a recovering bulimic and still struggle with binging sometimes. It's rare at this point but usually at night when everyone is asleep and I feel anxious. I have to remind myself when this happens that it is ok to hit bumps along the way as long as I don't use them as excuses to quit.

jjskk

Remember, you don't have to be perfect. Don't beat yourself up when you backslide. Also, half the battle is perseverance and not giving up. Pick one thing and start back to work.