"To be selfish or not to be"
HakeemTheDream89
Posts: 167 Member
in Chit-Chat
The only thing that is keeping me from being totally selfish and being all about oneself is simple fear of losing one of the few positive traits I have.Loving other people and helping them.
1.I'm fed up
2.I'm in last place even though I'm more loving,helpful and valuable to others then myself.
Something for me to think about but I continue to ask myself What's going to happen If I become totally selfish and just shut down an focus on myself? because one thing is for certain I see selfishness in every single person I know personally no matter what stage in life their in.
1.I'm fed up
2.I'm in last place even though I'm more loving,helpful and valuable to others then myself.
Something for me to think about but I continue to ask myself What's going to happen If I become totally selfish and just shut down an focus on myself? because one thing is for certain I see selfishness in every single person I know personally no matter what stage in life their in.
0
Replies
-
Taking care of yourself does not detract from caring about others. In fact, when you care well for yourself, you'll be better able to care for others.
Remember in all pre-flight demonstrations, when they show how to use the oxygen masks? They tell you to "assist yourself first, then help small children". Because if you're passed out from lack of air, who's going to help your kids?8 -
We can be helping and give to other people but not to take it to the extreme. Actually being a people-pleaser is a behavior that'll make you feel unloved, unimportant with time because you won't get what you think you deserve from others.
On the other hand, using people to get what you want consistently and causing harm to someone no matter how minor that it is so only you can benefit is the other extreme.
What I try to do is taking care of myself firstly. I prioritize my needs and wants and if someone close in my life needs my help, I'll happily help them and be there for them as I know that they'll be there for me in my hard times (not that i certainly expect them to be at any time).
In the end if you are in good terms with yourself and is a priority for you, you're not being selfish, given the fact that you also value the people in your life. When you manipulate them and use them for your benefit...well that's unhealthy and selfish in my opinion always.3 -
This content has been removed.
-
There's a lot of middle ground between being totally selfless and totally selfih. In order to best care for others, you need to take good care of yourself. It's also important not to let others just continually take advantage of you, to the point that it's hurting you and not helping them.3
-
GameOfPounds wrote: »We can be helping and give to other people but not to take it to the extreme. Actually being a people-pleaser is a behavior that'll make you feel unloved, unimportant with time because you won't get what you think you deserve from others.
On the other hand, using people to get what you want consistently and causing harm to someone no matter how minor that it is so only you can benefit is the other extreme.
What I try to do is taking care of myself firstly. I prioritize my needs and wants and if someone close in my life needs my help, I'll happily help them and be there for them as I know that they'll be there for me in my hard times (not that i certainly expect them to be at any time).
In the end if you are in good terms with yourself and is a priority for you, you're not being selfish, given the fact that you also value the people in your life. When you manipulate them and use them for your benefit...well that's unhealthy and selfish in my opinion always.
Guessing you don't have kids yet.0 -
Finding the middle ground sucks. There's also a fine line between helping others and being a doormat - some people will take advantage.
But being selfish must be very lonely too... but it's also important to find time for yourself and to learn to say no. Again... you have to find the middle ground.1 -
Sigh..there's always gotta be one...everyone know that your children are a different matter. They are physically unable to care for themselves, and so need the time and sacrifice, sometimes to the point of personal detriment, of their parent/parents. Everyone knows this.thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »GameOfPounds wrote: »We can be helping and give to other people but not to take it to the extreme. Actually being a people-pleaser is a behavior that'll make you feel unloved, unimportant with time because you won't get what you think you deserve from others.
On the other hand, using people to get what you want consistently and causing harm to someone no matter how minor that it is so only you can benefit is the other extreme.
What I try to do is taking care of myself firstly. I prioritize my needs and wants and if someone close in my life needs my help, I'll happily help them and be there for them as I know that they'll be there for me in my hard times (not that i certainly expect them to be at any time).
In the end if you are in good terms with yourself and is a priority for you, you're not being selfish, given the fact that you also value the people in your life. When you manipulate them and use them for your benefit...well that's unhealthy and selfish in my opinion always.
Guessing you don't have kids yet.
0 -
jennifer_417 wrote: »
Sigh..there's always gotta be one...everyone know that your children are a different matter. They are physically unable to care for themselves, and so need the time and sacrifice, sometimes to the point of personal detriment, of their parent/parents. Everyone knows this.thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »GameOfPounds wrote: »We can be helping and give to other people but not to take it to the extreme. Actually being a people-pleaser is a behavior that'll make you feel unloved, unimportant with time because you won't get what you think you deserve from others.
On the other hand, using people to get what you want consistently and causing harm to someone no matter how minor that it is so only you can benefit is the other extreme.
What I try to do is taking care of myself firstly. I prioritize my needs and wants and if someone close in my life needs my help, I'll happily help them and be there for them as I know that they'll be there for me in my hard times (not that i certainly expect them to be at any time).
In the end if you are in good terms with yourself and is a priority for you, you're not being selfish, given the fact that you also value the people in your life. When you manipulate them and use them for your benefit...well that's unhealthy and selfish in my opinion always.
Guessing you don't have kids yet.
Way to go. Nothing like putting down parents who are in pain and having to grin and bear it as "sigh...there's always gotta be one."
2 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »jennifer_417 wrote: »
Sigh..there's always gotta be one...everyone know that your children are a different matter. They are physically unable to care for themselves, and so need the time and sacrifice, sometimes to the point of personal detriment, of their parent/parents. Everyone knows this.thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »GameOfPounds wrote: »We can be helping and give to other people but not to take it to the extreme. Actually being a people-pleaser is a behavior that'll make you feel unloved, unimportant with time because you won't get what you think you deserve from others.
On the other hand, using people to get what you want consistently and causing harm to someone no matter how minor that it is so only you can benefit is the other extreme.
What I try to do is taking care of myself firstly. I prioritize my needs and wants and if someone close in my life needs my help, I'll happily help them and be there for them as I know that they'll be there for me in my hard times (not that i certainly expect them to be at any time).
In the end if you are in good terms with yourself and is a priority for you, you're not being selfish, given the fact that you also value the people in your life. When you manipulate them and use them for your benefit...well that's unhealthy and selfish in my opinion always.
Guessing you don't have kids yet.
Way to go. Nothing like putting down parents who are in pain and having to grin and bear it as "sigh...there's always gotta be one."
I'm not denying that parenting is hard. And I'm not saying they have to suffer in silence. By all means, talk about it.
What I get annoyed at, however, is parents who seem to think that everyone else's argument is invalid because they have children.1 -
jennifer_417 wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »jennifer_417 wrote: »
Sigh..there's always gotta be one...everyone know that your children are a different matter. They are physically unable to care for themselves, and so need the time and sacrifice, sometimes to the point of personal detriment, of their parent/parents. Everyone knows this.thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »GameOfPounds wrote: »We can be helping and give to other people but not to take it to the extreme. Actually being a people-pleaser is a behavior that'll make you feel unloved, unimportant with time because you won't get what you think you deserve from others.
On the other hand, using people to get what you want consistently and causing harm to someone no matter how minor that it is so only you can benefit is the other extreme.
What I try to do is taking care of myself firstly. I prioritize my needs and wants and if someone close in my life needs my help, I'll happily help them and be there for them as I know that they'll be there for me in my hard times (not that i certainly expect them to be at any time).
In the end if you are in good terms with yourself and is a priority for you, you're not being selfish, given the fact that you also value the people in your life. When you manipulate them and use them for your benefit...well that's unhealthy and selfish in my opinion always.
Guessing you don't have kids yet.
Way to go. Nothing like putting down parents who are in pain and having to grin and bear it as "sigh...there's always gotta be one."
I'm not denying that parenting is hard. And I'm not saying they have to suffer in silence. By all means, talk about it.
What I get annoyed at, however, is parents who seem to think that everyone else's argument is invalid because they have children.
I don't think the argument is invalid. It is valid for single people who have no one counting on them.
It is invalid for people who have responsibilities that are greater than their own interests, kids being one of those.
I've always admired those who have responsibilities and are willing to be bigger than the adversities they face. The sports phenome who is more concerned about team wins than individual stats, the mom or dad who does "the right thing," the boss who cuts own his salary to keep his employees employed, the king or queen or president that yearns for normalcy, but presses toward greatness out of sense of duty.0 -
To the OP, my advice to you is this: take care of yourself to the extent that is GOOD. Don't become like the people whose selfish character you dislike. Because, ultimately, it is YOUR reflection that meets you in the mirror and you want to be able to look at a man who you respect.2
-
Ok kids... sorry but I include that in the 'got to find a middle ground' thing. Nobody likes someone who grows up to be a brat because their mom always dropped everything to attend to their every single needs (and before you jump on me, 'I can't find my yellow cup' is not a life-threatening urgency), and nobody's going to be a better mom if she doesn't take care of herself too.4
-
Thanks for all the inputs and opinions .I will dedicate more time to myself while at the same time continue to love and be a team player only to those who are on my team. An no I'm not a caregiver3
-
@thisonetimeatthegym No, I don't have kids( for gods sake I'm still 19) but I was trying to say the same thing you tried to say to the OP. It makes sense naturally that having children sometimes leads to sacrifice unless you're struggling with a mental issue or something. I know it from my mother who raised us by herself. This topic didn't have to do with children in the first place. It had to do with the question this person asked about being selfish or not and I just expressed my opinion. So no hun I don't have kids. I'm focused on my studies, trying to be a decent human being/daughter and to figure who I am as a person.0
-
GameOfPounds wrote: »@thisonetimeatthegym No, I don't have kids( for gods sake I'm still 19) but I was trying to say the same thing you tried to say to the OP. It makes sense naturally that having children sometimes leads to sacrifice unless you're struggling with a mental issue or something. I know it from my mother who raised us by herself. This topic didn't have to do with children in the first place. It had to do with the question this person asked about being selfish or not and I just expressed my opinion. So no hun I don't have kids. I'm focused on my studies, trying to be a decent human being/daughter and to figure who I am as a person.
Just so you know, I wasn't attacking you when I said it. I just knew that part of your explanation comes from being free from responsibilities to others. I wish you well in your studies and in life.
1 -
Exactly why America and the world in general for this era will fail like the Egyptians, Romans, Greeks, etc..
People think too much of themselves to gain any perceptive above what's in it for them.0 -
-
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions