I need perspective...........

wondermommie85

I have been trying to lose weight on and off for about 8 months now. I had my wakeup call when I noticed that I was a size 20. I had never in my life been that big and I wanted to do something about it. I am down to 190 pounds, in spite of family members sabotaging me but I have problems keeping on track and staying motivated to get up and work out every day. My routine was to get up at 4:30, do my workout and yoga, then chill before the baby wakes up (I have a 1 year old). But I just quit. I am not sure why. And it happens a lot. I get going good on a routine and improving myself, and I will just shut down. It is not just fitness, I have done it with continuing my education too.

Does anyone have any experience dealing with this? How do you get yourself out of bed every day? I have tried everything I can think of but here I am again, on the couch when I should be doing a million other things......

JessiesGirls520

This used to be me until very recently. I know exactly what you mean. I think we try to put too much on our plates at once and then there is the all or nothing mentality. I workout and do yoga too, my goal was to wake up at 5am. If I was sleepy I wouldn't be gentle with myself- I would see it as a failure and get totally discouraged.

It might not be as motivating but start with baby steps and try to stay flexible. I would love to be friends and chat more. xoxo

wondermommie85

Thanks! That would be great. I would love a fitness buddy!

katinachaos

It comes down to actually really wanting it. I was in the same boat with weight and school, but without the extra stress of a child. You have to push through and in my case, I have to beat myself up about it a bit. I can talk myself out of a workout and into a snack pretty easily, but just as easily I can give myself a little tough love and suck it up. It took me almost 6 months to actually consider this new lifestyle part of a routine. Even two months ago I would have been shocked to make it to the gym more than 2 times a week, now I'm going 4-6 times. Something that I found really motivational was going on a camping trip where I saw people I only see a few times a year. Hearing them notice my progress was enough motivation to push me over the hump.

Keep pushing yourself!!!

nomeejerome

I have been trying to lose weight on and off for about 8 months now. I had my wakeup call when I noticed that I was a size 20. I had never in my life been that big and I wanted to do something about it. I am down to 190 pounds, in spite of family members sabotaging me but I have problems keeping on track and staying motivated to get up and work out every day. My routine was to get up at 4:30, do my workout and yoga, then chill before the baby wakes up (I have a 1 year old). But I just quit. I am not sure why. And it happens a lot. I get going good on a routine and improving myself, and I will just shut down. It is not just fitness, I have done it with continuing my education too.

Does anyone have any experience dealing with this? How do you get yourself out of bed every day? I have tried everything I can think of but here I am again, on the couch when I should be doing a million other things......

Just do it. Nobody can make the changes for you in regards to fitness or education. If you want it......go get it.

laurenz2501

I'm telling you I'm the SAME EXACT WAY. You just described me to a T! I've been on MFP for over a year and have only lost 4 pounds. The most I lost was 8. Whenever I start doing really well I CONSTANTLY give in and say "Oh I lost 8 lbs, I can have that pizza or ice cream" or what have you. Recently I've been being brutally honest with myself and my food diary and I see why I'm not losing weight. My "you would weigh ____" is always within a few pounds of what I weigh now and usually more. I don't know why I get home from work and can't work out. I know I won't wake up early to do it. I have to wake up at 5:30am as it is, so in order to do a 30min workout before work and then shower, I'd have to wake up at 4am and go to sleep around 8pm. That's not going to happen. I know myself. What I can't figure out is why I get home from work and plop right on the couch. My job can be mentally stressful but definitely not physically. I sit most of the day so why do I feel such a sense of relief when I get home to the couch? Then I tell myself "It's early yet. It's only 4pm. I have about 6 hours before bedtime to workout." 6 HOURS!!! And I still don't!! I can't stand working out for many reasons, and no I haven't found "something I love doing". I have more excuses than you could imagine. "I don't want to use gas to go to the gym because I don't have enough money to buy more to get to work", "The exercise class is at 4:30 during rush hour and I have to leave at 4 to get there on time", "all the girls in the class are prettier and skinnier than me", etc etc. I also have a right arm that doesn't extend all the way due to breaking it and having plates put in, so it makes it hard/embarrassing to do some of the moves. It's completely ridiculous and I don't know what my problem is. I chalk it up to just being a lazy, unmotivated chronic procrastinator and I don't know how/why I got this way because I wasn't always like this. I procrastinate in every area of my life also. Even the cleaning and laundry gets done at the last possible second. I want to lose the weight SO BADLY but obviously not badly enough or it wouldn't be this way. Unfortunately I don't have any answers for you but at least you know you're not alone.

chr1st1na6464

I have spent my life cycling through taking great care of myself and then not taking great care of myself. I just started reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People--and it is really helping me this time to stay on track. One of the things Steven Covey talks about in the book is being able to keep the promises you make to yourself. This jumped out at me--because I work hard to keep the promises I make to other people--but never thought about the fact that when I don't follow through, I'm breaking a promise that I made to myself.

So this time, whenever I'm thinking about eating unhealthy or not doing something I need to do, I think about how I made a promise to myself to become healthier. I tell myself that if I eat a whole cake then I'm breaking a promise I made to myself. This seems to be helping so far!

And there's other promises...too...like going back to school, improving at work, etc. So it goes beyond the weight loss arena.

cebreisch

I think everybody goes through this....sort of the "human factor". My husband can get up at 5:00 a.m. and do his P90X. That is SOOOO not where I am. I like to stop at the gym on the way home. (Obviously, he's a morning person and I'm not! LOL) He likes to do that because he won't have our 2 girls "bugging him" (distracting him) while he's doing his thing.

You have to "want it" enough to be uncomfortable, but it also has to be live-able. If it isn't, you won't do it. Figure out what you want to do, and a way you can make it work for you, and you'll be on your way!!

themanda04

i give up on myself a lot, too. i think it's because intially i'm really motivated and excited about a new venture, and then the new car smell wears off and i get bored. then i come up with something *new* to get excited about and do that until i get bored. i'm a chronic Brand New Thing-er. the key for me is to find ways to keep it motivating. i've reached a point with my weightloss this time that even though i have an awful long way to go, i've come too far to give up. so i'm now focusing on adding in exercise, which is the newest Brand New Thing. When that gets old, i'm going to work on C25K. when that gets old, maybe i'll do weights, or bodyweight training, or...who knows? i've decided to just make sure i always have one health/fitness/weight management thing on my plate at a time, and never allow that aspect of my life to be pushed aside. i figure as long as i'm working it in some respect i've got my bases covered.
now in terms of getting up early before the baby wakes up...when my son was a baby/toddler i cherished every moment of sleep i was allowed to get. why not find some sort of activity you can include him in, or go to a gym that has a daycare you can check him into for an hour? form a work-out buddy partnership with another mom and take turns watching your kiddos for each other while you yoga? even just hardcore chase each other around in the park time is exercise, and he'll LOVE it.

vickilowell

Every single one of these replies has been fantastic and I feel like I know all of you (because I relate to EVERY WORD)....so not sure what I can add that will be helpful when everyone's covered this topic so well with great advice ..... but just to add one more voice..... I feel like this too and so with everyone else chiming in it seems very normal to me. Once you realize it's okay to have ups and downs you perhaps won't feel like a failure when you're in a down spot. Don't ever give up. Being a mommy is hard (I am one) but the healthier you are the better you will feel for everyone (blah, blah, blah I'm sure you know that). Forgive yourself for less than perfect days and be proud of yourself for good ones. No judgements, every day is okay! Have you tried Jazzercise? If you live in a big town there is probably a class nearby and they always have free childcare and it is really cheap and pretty fun (the music is great and everyone goes at their own pace)?? Or just get out and walk with that stroller early every morning (which is a combo of what I did). Don't look at numbers when you're in a slump but concentrate on your health and eat lots of fruit....it's summer and it's so fresh and sugary and inexpensive...it's a great guilt free pick me up in the afternoon in our house. I think it's awesome that you're here and you have the courage to reach out!

wondermommie85

Thanks everyone! I am glad to know I am not the only one going through this. My family is on a fixed income right now (like everyone else in this economy) but I am still able to easily get veggies and fruit thanks to the food bank at church and a couple other resources available to me. I have finally started eating healthy and learning to just say no to the things I know I can't have. I will definitely look into some exercise classes with childcare. I think the gym close to my house was pretty cheap and had childcare. I will have to ask around.

clareyoung80

I'm also one of the world's most persistent procrastinators. Yeah, everything in my life gets left to the last minute so it's no surprise I've achieved so little (or rather, I have achieved much, but I could have achieved so much more if only I got off my *kitten*).

Somehow, I've managed to keep up with healthy eating. It's been a year so far, and honestly I'm not sure how I did it, but I managed to focus on eating healthy and lost a lot of weight. I think it was because I just focused on that and that alone and somehow that's been ingrained into my brain to the extent that I now have the mental energy to move on to adding exercise to my life.

I've only been exercising for a few months recently, and yeah - I'm very good at going all out and exhausting myself! I tend to find I work well with things like 30 Day Shred and Insanity. You know, there's a plan and I have to do it and it's for a fixed period of time. I seem to be able to convince my brain "Come on, it's only 30/60 days, if you do today you can cross it off the calendar!" and I do have a calendar on my wall and putting a cross in big red ink when I've managed that days exercise seems to fuel something in my brain.

Trick was when I finished 30 Day Shred, I stopped exercising for two months. Got out of the habit. I've started Insanity, so I seem to have got that thing back in my brain of crossing things off a calendar.

But, I think that's the trick. You need to figure out how to effectively trick your brain into doing what you want to do. Not everyone is set up the same either. Seeing as I'm a first class procrastinator, I suck at being motivated by future treats - ie: buying an outfit or getting a hair cut when I reach X lbs. I want the thing NOW!! So I don't use future treats as a motivator.

I do have a pair of goal jeans that hang up in my bedroom, and I stare at them sometimes to remind myself why I should eat well and exercise. Yeah, I know, I should be doing it for health reasons etc... but at the moment, I'm doing everything to trick my brain into doing this and my brain doesn't currently care about health and fitness. It's motivated by vanity though, so I use that to the best of my ability.

Other ways I manage are that I need exercise DVD's with presenters who are very gung-ho about things. Like good old Jillian Michaels, and Shaun T. Their constant repetition of "YOU CAN DO THIS!!" and "DIG DEEPER!!" somehow get into my mind and make me push myself. I need that in my brain as much as possible.

I need to understand that I can do this, and I think some of the problem is that people don't think they can do this and they let themselves give up. I know that very well, and despite the fact that I've lost 50lbs, I still don't believe it. So I also use exercise DVD presenters to yell at me and tell me what I need to know.

So, to cut a long story short, you need to find ways to motivate yourself - and these ways might not be what motivate other people. This is no time to be 'righteous' if that doesn't motivate you (if it does, then of course use that!), but find ANYTHING that will work, regardless as to whether it's vain or whatever. Take no prisoners!!

Evilmuffin666

Thanks everyone! I am glad to know I am not the only one going through this. My family is on a fixed income right now (like everyone else in this economy) but I am still able to easily get veggies and fruit thanks to the food bank at church and a couple other resources available to me. I have finally started eating healthy and learning to just say no to the things I know I can't have. I will definitely look into some exercise classes with childcare. I think the gym close to my house was pretty cheap and had childcare. I will have to ask around.

You dont Need a gym.... you have two legs.... use them! Just walk....... It is cheap, easy to do, can set the pace as you like, and enjoy the fresh air!!!!!!

leiden68

One thing I've learned about myself is that I can't totally deprive myself of things I love. 1# Ice Cream. I would get going really well and then I'd splurge on ice cream. Usually the whole pint. This time around I've learned to allow myself ice cream, but I go get a cone instead of the pint. I'm really honest on my food tracker and ALWAYS go over on my sugars. I really think as long as you get your veggies and fruit in, eat plenty of protein, you should be able have whatever it is you love as long as it's in moderation. Also, walking is such great exercise. And you can take your baby with you. Pop them in the stroller and just get moving. It's free, it's therapeutic and you can go as long as you like.

Don't give up. You are worth it.

wilsoje74

I have been trying to lose weight on and off for about 8 months now. I had my wakeup call when I noticed that I was a size 20. I had never in my life been that big and I wanted to do something about it. I am down to 190 pounds, in spite of family members sabotaging me but I have problems keeping on track and staying motivated to get up and work out every day. My routine was to get up at 4:30, do my workout and yoga, then chill before the baby wakes up (I have a 1 year old). But I just quit. I am not sure why. And it happens a lot. I get going good on a routine and improving myself, and I will just shut down. It is not just fitness, I have done it with continuing my education too.

Does anyone have any experience dealing with this? How do you get yourself out of bed every day? I have tried everything I can think of but here I am again, on the couch when I should be doing a million other things......

Getting up at 4:30 doesn't sound like something you can keep up with long term. You can lose weight by eating at a deficit. Exercise helps but it is mainly food. I would focus on that and do some exercise when you can. Can you go for walks? It's free and you can do it with a stroller.

AurraSing23

This is a great thread. I'm new here and I also spend time beating myself up...blah blah blah...in the end it comes down to feeling that it doesn't matter and it's not worth it. Sometimes, too, it just makes me mean (not just about diet) in general.

Bless my fiance, because he tells me I AM worth it and it does matter. I've been unconvinced. He asks me what's on the diet when we talk about what's for dinner (so I can have what I should). And he bears the brunt of all my frustration and disappointments--cause he's closest to me. So, I've been asking myself, why are we so mean to those we should love best? And just this moment reading this post I realize what he's been saying. Yes, I love him and should be good to him; he is certainly good to me. Maybe I haven't loved me and bought into that I wasn't worth loving (divorce and other losses over the years have really beat me down). Today, I realize that I could love myself more. That I should do this for me. That I am worth the time. That things people ask me to do for them don't always need to come before what I do for me.

OK--after this rambling thought--anyone can use this message but if I look back here, I can find it in black and white in case I get a case of stupid and forget:
You should get up and _______________(insert whatever you haven't been doing--go to class, go walking, fix something healthy to eat, log your food even if it means going over, pick yourself up) because you are worth it. You deserve good things.

laurenz2501

I seem to be able to convince my brain "Come on, it's only 30/60 days, if you do today you can cross it off the calendar!" and I do have a calendar on my wall and putting a cross in big red ink when I've managed that days exercise seems to fuel something in my brain.

VERY good idea! I like it!

laurenz2501

We all sound very similar! Maybe we should start a group, right? :laugh:






(only half kidding)