Why am I so awkward around people I have feelings for?
bemyyfriend0918
Posts: 241 Member
I don't get it. I have no problem with public speaking, meeting friends, or talking to people in general. Everyone I meet says I come off as friendly, nice, and interesting. I even run a podcast talk show in my free time. But as soon as I develop feelings for someone I get really nervous around them. I never know what to say and end up sounding stupid and being really quiet. I wish I could just relax because my nervousness ruins everything. They never get to see my personality because I am too awkward! It drives me crazy. I wouldn't want to be around me acting that way either but cant stop. Any advice?!
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Replies
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I wish I could tell you...but I'm the same way. I'm the coolest person in the world until I realize that I "like like" someone ...then I turn into a 13 year old girl
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Practice your game on dorky, weird guys who would have no chance with you.
You can practice on me; I volunteer for the flirting.
I'm here to serve.2 -
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I knew there was a reason you weren't responding to the countless PMs I send you daily. It's cool, I'll give you time to come out of your shell.4
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Same problem here, especially when it's a first date or just talking on the phone for the first time. On the positive side: since I know I have this problem myself, I usually give people another chance (but no more than three haha)0
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I almost failed the infant CPR test after passing the adult and child tests with flying colors, because the guy giving the infant test was very attractive and charming. Still passed, just a little flushed looking.3
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What podcast? I would lead with that. Something that helps me is to give people high fives every time I feel awkward, insecure, or nervous.
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The problem's that you aren't around this person, when they aren't their best; like when they're having a bout of diarrhea! Just imagine choking on that smell & you'll cease believing that they're better than you because it's something, we all; eventually have!0
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Grab them by the crotch and have your conversation, that will eliminate any awkwardness you may feel. Tell them you learned it from The Trump1
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PowerMan 40 - I did see a video where a women did that to random men on the street. The men actually seemed to enjoy it!
DeficitDutchess -I have been trying to do something similar. He's always on top of his game when I'm around. Gotta picture him in a "less than desirable light"
cee134 - I am picturing me trying to give him a high five and missing and slapping him in the face, or something equally awkard haha. Having my shaky hands attempt a high five, seems dangerous!
Black_LabeI - Opposites attract. I'd love to find someone outgoing like that.
Caporegiem - I went through my message history and don't have any from you! Liar
Motorsheen - anyone that has a southpark character as their photo is alright with me
littlemissbgiff - Unfortunately this man is not so easily distracted by looks or tight clothes. He prefers women he can *gasp* actually talk to and conversate with!2 -
Unfortunately this man is not so easily distracted by looks or tight clothes. He prefers women he can *gasp* actually talk to and conversate with! [/quote]
@bemyyfriend0918 I understand, why you're a mess; it's because you have, great taste; in men! With a guy like this, the best approach; is the truth! Let him know you're mess around him & why because it's also complimentary! He might not even know, how great; he is or that anyone, cares enough; to notice! Plus you'll know whether you're able to get with, this guy or unable to & get over him instead.1 -
MeganMoroz89 wrote: »I have found that some guys like when they first meet a girl and she's a bit "timid." I can be quite shy when I meet new people and having the confidence to speak to guys that I think are hot is hard for me to come by.
However, I focus on my stubbornness. I just think to myself, "don't be stupid, you'll be mad if you can't say anything." Sometimes berating myself works (it also works sometimes with my anxiety issues), but other times it doesn't. I'm not saying that's the best solution for you, but it's something that works for me on occasion.
That and little boots.
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bemyyfriend0918 wrote: »
littlemissbgiff - Unfortunately this man is not so easily distracted by looks or tight clothes. He prefers women he can *gasp* actually talk to and conversate with!
BS. That's his way of saying "please go ahead and wear tight shirts because I like them but I don't want you to know it!".
Being shy most of my life around women, I get it - it can be a royal pain. I'm older now (46) and I can tell you NOW it doesn't bother me at all. I realized late in life that I should just be me and if someone doesn't like it - the h*ll with them. I know.. I know.. we ALL know that.. but problem with being shy is we don't always DO what we know we SHOULD do. There is a difference.
Just break the ice a little with "hey don't pay attention to my goofiness, your just too cute it distracts me" or something cute but "honest" at the same time. Get his reaction. If he is interested he will respond.
Don't forget the tight shirt. It WILL help. If not, he isn't straight
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I find that if the dude ain't into the awkwardness, he isn't the one for you.
I'm the same way. I get called charming by folks I have no truly deep connection with. I'm the girl that will make friends with anyone at the bar because I like to get to know people. But the minute I went out for a coffee date with my now husband for the first time, I was an awkward mess.. And he jokingly called me out on it. I got called awkward turtle for about three months. I think because it wasn't some secret that I clearly was being awkward, it was easier to joke about and made the situation lighter.
So embrace the awkwardness and work with it.1 -
happilymegan wrote: »Ohh girl I'm the same way. I tend to prefer men who are more aggressive in personality. Forces me out of my comfort zone and helps me open up.
I would avoid your PM's for awhile. :noway:4 -
bemyyfriend0918 wrote: »
littlemissbgiff - Unfortunately this man is not so easily distracted by looks or tight clothes. He prefers women he can *gasp* actually talk to and conversate with!
Naaa, he's gay :laugh:0 -
GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »happilymegan wrote: »happilymegan wrote: »Ohh girl I'm the same way. I tend to prefer men who are more aggressive in personality. Forces me out of my comfort zone and helps me open up.
I would avoid your PM's for awhile. :noway:
I didn't even think. Learnt my lesson
You didn't even open mine....thanks @cee134 you *kitten* block
Maybe the attachment was too large?
Wait.
No..... that's not possible, is it?0 -
I feel you. I'm 33 and it's still an issue with me. So I fake being cool and it comes off as me being cold, distance, unfriendly. Advice...um...take a valium? lol I'm kidding. I wish I had something helpful to say.1
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