Gaining again?

yirara

Had a massive shock last week when a friend whom I haven't seen in over two years told me I'm the thinnest person she knows. She also keeps on asking whether I eat enough. I would say I am as I'm not losing weight (same weight for nearly 2 years now). I guess I suffer quite badly from body dysmorphobia as I don't see myself as too thin. I do think though that my face is far too thin and would love to change it. I guess that's why this comment stung. I have a fairly thin face/head anyway, thus more padding there would certainly do me good. I really wonder about gaining some weight again as I keep on thinking about this comment.

Though knowing how my weight is distributed I will not gain the weight in my face but mainly on my legs, bum and hips. A body recomp would not do anything for that either, and in the end potentially make my face look even thinner as I have a fairly wide frame already. I mean, yes, my pelvis and clavicules stick out but my clothing sizes are quite bigger than other people of my weight have. And yea, 18kg heavier those bones still stuck out. Just fya: I'm 57kg at 169cm.

I guess there's no real solution to this dilemma, is there? Not looking for a solution but rather for recognition.

chocolate_owl

yirara wrote: »

Had a massive shock last week when a friend whom I haven't seen in over two years told me I'm the thinnest person she knows.

Is she overweight? Are most of the people she spends the bulk of her time with overweight? It can really skew someone's perspective of what "thin" should look like.

She also keeps on asking whether I eat enough. I would say I am as I'm not losing weight (same weight for nearly 2 years now).

Sounds like you're doing just fine on the eating part.

I guess I suffer quite badly from body dysmorphobia as I don't see myself as too thin.

Why would her perception mean you suffer from body dysmorphia? You sound like you're a healthy weight for your height, and you're not reporting any medical issues, so you're not "too thin." Anything beyond that is aesthetic preference.

I do think though that my face is far too thin and would love to change it. I guess that's why this comment stung. I have a fairly thin face/head anyway, thus more padding there would certainly do me good. I really wonder about gaining some weight again as I keep on thinking about this comment.

Though knowing how my weight is distributed I will not gain the weight in my face but mainly on my legs, bum and hips. A body recomp would not do anything for that either, and in the end potentially make my face look even thinner as I have a fairly wide frame already. I mean, yes, my pelvis and clavicules stick out but my clothing sizes are quite bigger than other people of my weight have. And yea, 18kg heavier those bones still stuck out. Just fya: I'm 57kg at 169cm.

I guess there's no real solution to this dilemma, is there? Not looking for a solution but rather for recognition.

As you've already discussed, you can't tell the fat where to go when you gain it. I don't think gaining fat (potentially to the point of an unhealthy BF%) to pad your face out is a healthy answer to this. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to work on acceptance of yourself as you are. Find the beauty in your thin face and learn to love it.

yirara

Having quoting issues here:

1. I always thought her to be extremely thin, and especially her legs. I know it's a frame question as well as she certainly doesn't have my frame I'm not sure how her friends look apart from what I see on facebook. Normal I'd say.

2. Yeah, I guess I know how to keep the weight off

3. No, not her perception as such. I do have a very poor grasp of how I really look like, and I guess it did get worse after losing weight. Before I lost weight and was slightly overweight I felt that I was carrying my weight very well and that I didn't look as heavy as I really was. But again frame, and padding distribution played a big role, I'm sure. Now I just don't know whether I'm normal or too thin, or feel bigger than I am due to my spacious bones.

4. Well, the comment stung as I'm not happy with my face. I'm not getting younger, and having a very thin face makes you look more wrinkly. That's certainly annoyance. Plus that my body seem to have decided to distribute the bones intended for my head elsewhere Thus my head will look smaller than it is anyway. Nothing I can do about it I suppose. In a way I guess I wish I never started losing weight as I looked better in my opinion. And nowadays pants still don't fit anyway, thus nothing changed there.

comptonelizabeth

Your weight sounds fine for your height to me. I'm 5'3 and aiming for 57kg- I'm 54 at the moment.
I know what you mean about your face -mine is also long and thin (and yes,being thin is ageing)but as said above,you can't control where the weight goes. Ditto with bony parts (I have bony shoulders and hate them. ) Things like how your hair is cut can change the way your face looks. Not sure what else to suggest. Dealing with comments is hard - in my experience it's often people who are overweight who make comments about me being too thin.

yirara

Thanks a lot @comptonelizabeth
I know, not much I can do. My hair.. well.. it's the ultrathin type with sticking out elven ears. No volume to be found there, regardless of how good the hairdresser is. It's ultrashort at the moment anyway. Mind you when I still had long hair I could not make a proper pony tail as the hair would slip out of the tiniest rubber band.

Maybe it's time to develop a new workout programme: bulk and then lifting heavy for the facial muscles: heavy glasses, weighed jar pullups, resistance band ear wagging, heavy duty piercing forehead lifts

*sigh* I know.. nothing I can do. I certainly overshot a bit with losing weight. Or rather, it took quite a while to find my actual maintenance calories, during which time I lost another 3 or so kg.

comptonelizabeth

I gotta say that friends of mine who are the same age as me (61) and overweight, also look a lot younger than I do. Life isn't fair. And on the other hand, I have more energy,stamina and mobility than they do. Conventional beauty isn't everything