The effect of compliments

Fatvaporizer

Do you ever feel that compliments really push you to keep going, to keep moving? Do compliments motivate you to continue your weight loss journey with passion? I'm just basically writing this because I feel like compliments are a great form of positive reinforcement that compels us to keep on moving, and show us that we're doing it right.

Even if you notice a small weight change in someone, in my opinion, I think it's best to let them know. Imagine yourself trying so hard, challenging yourself everyday to meet your goals, fighting through the sweat and pain of exercise and dieting, then you get acknowledgement from someone, whether a family or friend, that they see a difference in you, that you look slimmer. I'm sure that would make you happy knowing it's working, and push you to want to continue exercising and dieting.

Moral of the story : Compliment each other on their weight loss if you can! It'll only help them to go further and succeed even more.

Feel free to disagree, it's always interesting to hear different opinions.

distinctlybeautiful

Except some people don't lose weight on purpose or in a healthy way. Giving compliments about weight loss to people you don't know well or outside an arena like this (where weight loss tends to be the goal) is a bit risky if you ask me. I don't mean to be snarky or contrary. It's just that this is a perspective that's only recently been pointed out to me, and I thought it was eye-opening. I guess my whole point is just to be careful about it, but I think compliments in general are awesome!

Fatvaporizer

Yeah, good point. Someone could not even be exercising or dieting, but is ill instead and losing weight because of that, so you're right, you have to make sure they're actually on a weight loss journey.

SueSueDio

There have been a number of threads on this subject, and it seems that everyone reacts differently! Some people just hate others commenting on their body in any way, even positively, and others feel it's no one's business but their own if they're losing weight. There's also the above point that some people don't lose weight by choice... many people post here that they're a little upset no one seems to have noticed their hard work and smaller size, and replies point out it might be that people are cautious of commenting when they don't know if it was deliberate.

And of course, once you start talking to other people about your losses and your goals, that opens the door to all kinds of comments - good and bad - about your body in the future!

lemurcat12

A lot of people dislike having their bodies commented on too. You really have to use your judgment, and I understand why many, many people are reluctant to say anything.

Sira125

I think it also depends on where the recipient is mentally. I have gotten compliments after a five pound loss (that really didn't show) that were either false or indicated the person remembered me as far larger than I have ever been. I left sad thinking "I'm big now. How big do you remember me having been?"

I tend to avoid comments on appearance unless the recipient makes it clear they are welcomed.

neldabg

+1 to what everyone else said about being careful.
Personally, compliments got old when I was around three months into weight loss. It was nice that people were noticing when I lost those first few pounds because at the start, I was slightly worried/paranoid that the scale was lying, and I hadn't lost any weight. However, once I started to get comfy and see the results via before and after pictures, I grew somewhat neutral to compliments. I lost the remaining weight fueled with the desire to be healthy.
I'm in maintenance now, and when someone who hasn't seen me in a while notices my weight loss, I politely accept all compliments. It doesn't bother me at all, but it also isn't something that makes me super happy and motivated. I have several personal reasons for staying motivated to maintain my weight, one of which is the health problems present in older relatives.

zyxst

Compliments don't motivate me. Too many times have I been "complimented" on something about my person only to learn later it was as the butt of a joke.

I'd prefer to not be the center of attention. Again, to me, center of attention = butt of a joke/unwanted advances.

I don't comment on others weight unless they bring it up first. I may say something generic like "You look really good today. Been too long since I last saw you."

SisterSueGetsFit

Maybe I'm a bit vain and self centered, but I do like the compliments and they keep me going. I had stagnated at about a 50 pound loss for three months and was recently back home for a family wedding where I received a ton of compliments. They were appreciated and it has pushed me to continue on with my journey to look even better. I would however agree that it can via sticky situation in some circumstances. Everyone is different I suppose.

Chadxx

Sincere compliments are nice. I went to a birthday party this weekend and saw people I haven't seen in 75 pounds and didn't know I was losing weight. It felt good that everyone noticed but the best compliment was from a buddy who did a double take and said he didn't even recognize me at first.

amy_kee

I dislike it if someone tries to compliment me. It upsets me and brings up so many negative processes in my body and mind. I never let on to this and always treat the person who complimented me nice, but, I really throws me for a loop. I just wish people would leave me alone, and talk about them, or, some other neutral subject. Also, if I get compliments on things like weight loss success, I get so bothered by it inside that I usually gain weight for a while after someone talks to me like that. It's just me and how I feel. I know they don't mean any harm and have good intentions. It just back-fires with me.

Alatariel75

Compliments are a very individual thing. It comes down to the giver, and the receiver and there's no clear cut answer.

Me, I like to be complimented on my weight loss, even when it's kind of backhanded. I saw an aquaintence last weekend who I haven't seen for years, she said "Holy shiz, I don't usually comment on peoples weight but you've lost a shizload of weight!" and I was stoked. For others, that would have been very uncomfortable, or even slightly insulting.

fredgonzini

So there is these two ladies that at the club that have a lot to loose. There work out very hard. As a guy do I say something. They look to be really pushing it. One of them looks like she has let her self go for a long time. They are it's inspiring.

Sira125

@fredgonzini That's a good question. If you do say anything it implies you've been watching them, which for some will be flattering and could make others never return to the gym. If you do decide to say anything I'd avoid comments on appearance and instead focus on their dedication to improving their health.

joearcabascio

I find this very interesting. I myself enjoy a compliment in any sense. I am always trying to see the good in people and to me a compliment shows that they're paying attention. I've been overweight my whole life and over the past year have lost over 100lbs. It doesnt come easy and it is always on my mind. The fact that someone is willing to take time and say something nice really does push me harder.

canadianlbs

guess i don't really feel like i need 'passion' to keep me on track. passion should be saved up for other things imo.

i do like it when people notice how strong i've become. people commenting on the way i look would more probably make me feel groped, but that's probably because i never put how i look in the public domain as something i want to be judged/assessed by. so if someone made that kind of comment i'd feel like they'd crossed an unspoken privacy line.

Sued0nim

Nope not outright compliments, I'm always too self deprecating and while I say thank you feel a little uncomfortable and unsure of sincerity ..I think this is cultural thing

I do like gym compliments from those who are serious about their own fitness, that makes me feel like I've just got a Muttley medal

And I do like the effect I have on some people when I just walk by ...and I know that is wrong ..but feck it I was invisible when my children were young and I was obese, and it's nice to be approaching 50 and get that kind of gentle attention / approval again ...makes me laff, makes me strut more