Why do people do that

dejavuohlala
dejavuohlala Posts: 1,821 Member
in Motivation and Support
Why do people add people for support and motivation, you accept and comment most of the time but the very person that friened you does nothing but hit the like button. If the support is not two way it does not work. This is a hard journey and hitting the like button is not motivating at all. A huge friends list is not helpful if the poeple don't give real support. Vent over

Replies

  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
    I guess I got lucky then. My very small friends list is really great. Some are more talky than others but they all give what they can.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Noel_57 wrote: »
    dejavuohlala wrote: »
    Why do people add people for support and motivation, you accept and comment most of the time but the very person that friened you does nothing but hit the like button. If the support is not two way it does not work. This is a hard journey and hitting the like button is not motivating at all. A huge friends list is not helpful if the poeple don't give real support. Vent over

    jedklf7nvjz9.png

    :laugh:
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    dejavuohlala wrote: »
    Why do people add people for support and motivation, you accept and comment most of the time but the very person that friened you does nothing but hit the like button.

    honestly, i don't mean this in a bad way. but there have been people on my 'friend' list who are so different from me that i just have nothing to say. i'm really not into the rah-rah-great-burn kind of thing. can't do it to others without wanting to choke, and i feel really weird and sad when they spend all that energy in my direction and i'm the only person who knows they're totally wasting all that time and goodwill. i just don't care. i don't like stuff like that . . . but it's not like people tell you before you accept them that that's how they roll.
    If the support is not two way it does not work.

    i agree. and if it makes you feel any better: chances are really good that if you remove someone like that from your list, they'll feel relieved and bear you no ill-will at all. it's just a compatibility thing. 'friending' is weird online because a lot of the time reading someone's wall is the only way to get to know them, if you don't know them already. so it's like you agree to be 'friends' without knowing anything about each other, and that's just weird.

    social media would work better if they built in a three-month probation phase first. after three months, they should show you the various people who've been on your wall for that long, and let you decide whether to kee them or just set them free.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    i always feel bad for doing it. they put in all this effort, i say nothing meaningful back, and then i'm the one ditching them.

    i'm that person who doesn't have the guts to kill a spider, but i'll happily trap it under a mug and let it just starve to death.
  • Trish1c
    Trish1c Posts: 549 Member
    This is an internet message board. You take the good with the bad. If some people are giving you want / need be happy. You're never going to get 100% of any group of people to do anything
  • Sira125
    Sira125 Posts: 152 Member
    I tried posting and asking what my MFP friends needed from me and got crickets.
  • AllSpiceNice
    AllSpiceNice Posts: 120 Member
    I'm not sure why this makes you so upset that you have to "vent". Maybe you should let people know what you expect from an MFP friend before you accept their friend request?

    Everyone has different needs and expectations about what support means. I really appreciate the likes from my MFP friends...that's all the support I need.

    dejavuohlala wrote: »
    Why do people add people for support and motivation, you accept and comment most of the time but the very person that friened you does nothing but hit the like button. If the support is not two way it does not work. This is a hard journey and hitting the like button is not motivating at all. A huge friends list is not helpful if the poeple don't give real support. Vent over
  • realsammysalamander
    realsammysalamander Posts: 49 Member
    people probably are just looking for different things than you are. My guess is there are some people who love the likes and that is what they give (or they don't really care, that is a possibility too). There are so many different people on here, find people that give you what you need and drop the rest. You don't need them and they probably don't need you.
  • BigTandthesquatters
    BigTandthesquatters Posts: 151 Member
    I don't have a friends list. I am only speaking for myself when i say I believe you have to do most of this journey on your own. Lean on yourself and your knowledge/experiences. Take any positive feedback and use it as a motivator.
  • Intentional_Me
    Intentional_Me Posts: 336 Member
    I culled my list down to the the people that inspire and interact with me the most and have been much happier with my feed. I'm now far more selective about who I accept. I think it's just a difference of style of communication and a compatibility thing.
  • Cbestinme
    Cbestinme Posts: 397 Member
    This is interesting to know, I received friend requests since I started posting in last couple of weeks and I've also sent requests quite liberally. To be honest I didn't put too much thought but the idea of filtering sounds appropriate
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    dejavuohlala wrote: »
    Why do people add people for support and motivation, you accept and comment most of the time but the very person that friened you does nothing but hit the like button. If the support is not two way it does not work. This is a hard journey and hitting the like button is not motivating at all. A huge friends list is not helpful if the poeple don't give real support. Vent over

    If people are not the kind of friend you want then you can unfriend them and get different friends.
    Maybe those people feel liking something is being supportive.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    I have actually asked very few people to friend me. Because I'm in the forums a lot I get a lot of requests, though. If I feel like I might be able to help on a long term basis, I'll accept, otherwise I don't. The funny thing is, I often end up unfriending many of those people later because while they post a lot:

    1. it ends up being the same stuff all of the time even though I've given them sensible advice they never bothered to try
    2. they start taking rubbish advice from others (avoid sugar! only eat clean/organic/whatever, drink this lemon tea thing in the morning) and then continually going on about it
    3. They stop logging in

    In general, I am one of those who hits the Like button a lot. Saying "great burn!" "good job!" every time is just silly to me. I was relieved when the Like button was added so I didn't have to actually say those things to acknowledge people's accomplishments. I have no idea how hard they actually went at it, after all. Perhaps it was an awful run for them today. We all have those! Does anyone really want to see people telling them that it was "awesome"?

    There are also certain things I don't bother with at all like the days in a row count which I have turned off for myself. I've seen plenty of people in here with really long streaks who have made no progress so I think it's basically meaningless.
  • JennieMaeK
    JennieMaeK Posts: 474 Member
    SueInAz wrote: »
    1. it ends up being the same stuff all of the time even though I've given them sensible advice they never bothered to try
    2. they start taking rubbish advice from others (avoid sugar! only eat clean/organic/whatever, drink this lemon tea thing in the morning) and then continually going on about it
    3. They stop logging in

    In general, I am one of those who hits the Like button a lot. Saying "great burn!" "good job!" every time is just silly to me. I was relieved when the Like button was added so I didn't have to actually say those things to acknowledge people's accomplishments. I have no idea how hard they actually went at it, after all. Perhaps it was an awful run for them today. We all have those! Does anyone really want to see people telling them that it was "awesome"?

    There are also certain things I don't bother with at all like the days in a row count which I have turned off for myself. I've seen plenty of people in here with really long streaks who have made no progress so I think it's basically meaningless.

    This is me too. I generally don't comment much, and don't care one way or another if people comment or don't comment, Like or don't like on my activities. I also don't generally comment or like "completed food diary" posts unless I actually look at their diary, which I rarely do.

    I agree with the day streaks, to a point. I only like the days in multiple of tens. It gets to repetitive to like every 5 days of logging in. But if people are still logging in, even with no progress, I think that's a good thing.

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