Oops I did it again......

IonaEllenRose

I'm new to mfp & this group, thought I'd introduce myself.

I have just had a massive binge & thought this IS my last time! I need help & similar minded people.
I have always had issues with food started mid teens to now (24yrs old). Up until last year I would purge on & off. I've always been a comfort eater, if something went wrong I'd grab the ice cream tub or bag of sweets however from around June/July it all got a bit more extreme. Due to my health I get severe depression and food is my way of either coping or punishing my body, that none of my family know about. I have put on 4st this year. I have started seeing a councillor for the depression side of things however he has referred me to a team who are based of eating disorders. I am also lactose intolerant but when I binge I take no notice of the after effect .

Just thought I'd introduce myself (sorry it's not the happiest introduction) above. I would love to meet like minded people as at the moment it's just me and my secret stash of empty wrappers.

Feel free to add me xxx

VintageFeline

I self medicated with food too, I mostly manage not to now or if I do I do it within my calories for the most part. I try to use exercise as my coping mechanism now.

You'll get there. It's hard work but also massively satisfying. Scale progress comes and goes but getting a grip on something that feels totally out of control is amazing.

CattOfTheGarage

You'll get there. One of the most powerful thing to realise with binges is that they are a symptom, not a cause, and dwelling on them, beating yourself up, vowing "never again" and so on just encourages more bingeing. They just happen, and are actually helpful, as they can tell you things and you can learn from them. What made you binge? Maybe you were starving yourself. Maybe you were over-restricting certain foods and felt deprived. Maybe you were ignoring or repressing a particular feeling and so that was the only way it could find expression. Sometimes it's a self destructive impulse, or a rebellion against something you're trying to force yourself to do (or not do).

The thing with binges, for me, is the need to accept them and move on. I never try to "pay back" binge calories with restriction or exercise, as that encourages more bingeing. I don't put foods on a pedestal or say this or that food is "bad" and I can never have it as that makes me inclined to binge. I do the best I can to work out why it happened (I usually know by now) and then draw a line under it and move on.

Over time I have binged less and less until it isn't really an issue any more. It takes time, but you can get there.

jmcdao

Yep. Everybody has setbacks. Just brush them off and get back on the train.
The key is to not let your setback start a downward cycle. Just let it be a blip on the radar.

gabbyo23

Just wanted to say I've been where you are. I believed it was impossible to change or get in control of my binges.

Just wanted antes to let you know it absolutely IS possible. Just keep trying and everything you fall off the wagon get back on again. Keep believing it's the last time and one day it will be xx