Stuck in a cycle. Help!

MommiShley

This may not be the place to write this. But here it goes. I have struggled with an eating disorder since I was 11. When I'm stressed it usually pops up and shows its ugly face. Recently I found out my husband was cheating for the 4th time. So guess what, this voice says let's not eat. My daughter is 2 years old and I'm still struggling to lose the weight. Now I have myself in a horrible cycle. I starve myself loose a bit but once I eat I gain a bunch. Then I go through it all again. How can I 'reboot' my system to stop storing fat when it's in starvation mode and get back to normal mode? I do want to loose wieght but I understand I have to do it healthy.

TavistockToad

So, are you getting some help to deal with your husbands behaviour? And hopefully a divorce?

As for your eating, start at maintenance for r-6 weeks, and then drop down to a small deficit- if you do in fact have weight to lose? What are your stats?

Mersie1

Hi! I am so sorry for all that you are dealing with. I def think seeing someone to work through the emotional toll is most important. I would say this even without the very serious marital stress. A therapist (especially one who specializes in EDs) can help you to learn healthy coping skills. The national eating disorder association website has great reasources.

As far as the eating cycle goes- normalized eating - 3 meals a day w a few snacks in between. Meals and snacks need to be complete (protein, carbs and fat at each!). The is difficult to do alone and you deserve the support to feel good!

I am in good recovery from lifelong ED. Please feel free to add me!

courtneyfabulous

Agree with eating at maintenance calories- no restricting, no bingeing- for at least 6 weeks to let your metabolism recover. Do not even think about getting on the scale during this time.

If you don't know your maintenance calories you can find it here (your TDEE is your maintenance calories):

http://www.iifym.com/tdee-calculator/

You should see a therapist as well, and I would think it's time to consider divorce.

Sorry you are having to go through this.

When you are ready to focus again on losing the baby weight (if you indeed do have weight to lose), do it at a very small deficit- try 250 calories less than your TDEE. This should not feel like restricting and shouldn't crash your metabolism but you'll slowly gently lose weight.

I have had eating disorders and body dysmorphia in the past but it was not a reaction to stress but rather my actual weight. Actually when I'm stressed I eat and the feelings of needing to restrict come later as a result of having gained weight, so I can't relate exactly to how you can stop restricting while stressed except to seek professional help.