From depression,addiction and extra weight to signing a modeling contract+real talk
Options
HungryasFuark
Posts: 463 Member
Heyy everyone thanks for taking some of your time to check my post ! 
this is going to be a really open talk post from me I really hope that my story inspires you or shows you that you are not alone). I post my transformation pics here often as I make progress but yeah I just post a fitness transformation...I never really talked about my real struggles and why I decided to change but today I'm taking this step just to maybe spark something good or inspire if by any chance anyone that is going through something like I have been through cause I know how hard it really is .this is going to be a long post ( if u made it till the end then you are awesome ! If not then u are ....1% less awesome :P ) here it goes I battled depression at a young age (16) (not because of my weight) because of other things in my life( including drugs) I would like to keep the other things private but I will talk openly about my substance use . my depression was strong enough to make me think about seriously ending it at 16 ..I read on the Internet join this medicate this medicate that and I was thinking that I'm smarter by self medicating my self with illegal substance mostly things that release serotonin and endorphins ( u can figure ) I can't say what exactly because of the forum policy I guess lol ..so did it work ? Well it worked for a while changed my mood and a lot of my perspectives till this day and made me more open minded about many many things so It did help..but till just I'm off them it got worse as I came back and slipped into the trap of upping what i take and that's when I found my self going in the direction of addiction. Things were getting out my hand and I was really scared about what I'm walking into at a very young age so I told my close friends ( thanks god I have them ) but I didn't tell my family because at 16, 17, 18 they would be devistated it's like all there years of putting work into raising me went for nothing..dunno if that was a wrong or right decision back then but all I know is it was better to tell someone than to keep it to my self . I did tell them later thought when I was older just last year oh i am 22 now if u are wondering lol..well i think u can guess how my family felt ..they couldn't believe me when I told them they were really shocked and just pale faces from hearing my story but I I showed them that it's really ok now and that I am over all these nightmares and this made them feel better about the situation not completely of course but enough to make them forget a bit about it . Now I won't go in details of my substance use days and depression coz it will take pages more than this ( plus probably u are already really bored from reading till this word . Almost done ! ) My weight gain started when I confronted my friends , I was abroad studying with them at the time in a different country so they did what really friends should do and I'm really grateful that God gave me true friends like them they made sure that I never touched anything and supported me in every way possible but they didn't push me into going out etc because I was really really depressed when I stopped taking the substance I was completely refusing the idea of going out and I took 1 semester off but I stayed abroad because I didn't want to go back home either and that's when I found food as a alternative I started eating and eating then ballooned to 98 kg almost 100 kg at just 176 cm it was a lot of weight on my chest and mind and it made my depression 10 x worse and in a foreign country away from home u can imagine how I felt , it is like I don't want to go back because I'm really in a bad state and I don't want my family to c me like this like I wrote earlier but also can't stand staying away from home...before I gained weight I always had this passion for running it was the really only natural thing that kept me away from committing suicide . one day ( call it what u want to call it , God power , the universe ) I just looked in the mirror and finally for the first time I really saw how weak , pathetic , lifeless , sluggish , cowardly etcc i really am . I painfully started going out and it is really one of the hardest things in life for someone with extreme depression and addiction to decide to start to live like a normal human again then slowly stared running again and dieting then I went to the weight room then I combined the 3 and man it was hell to wake up every morning and do those 3 but I really wanted change .. Slowly I saw progress but still I thought about giving up countless times but fought my way into defeating this thought and stuck to it and then i slowly started to feel better not just because of fitness but also because of my friends great support step by step as time passed I loved how fitness was changing me inside out and it became a hobby not a hellish thing to do lol then I finally took the ballsy move of seeking therapy ( real therapy I was willing to really talk and express not just to be on a med ) and that's when things started to get really better . I know I'm still a baby experience on this planet but I can say with all confidence that the only way anyone can really start to manage and control depression and addiction is by speaking and expressing and when I say speaking and expressing I don't mean the doctor appointment nor ur close friend chat or loved one . I mean speaking to ur self and being brave enough to express all the things that are kept hidden from ur self , I mean genuinely going to that deepest point of ur mind ,body and soul that people that are depressed and/or addicted in most cases know it's there but don't have the courage to confront and bring it up to the light and deal with it and I'm not saying defeat it ( u can't defeat depression and addiction ) sad but true but one can learn how to control both to the point of knowing that both are there but not feeling any of them anymore or not affecting him/her anymore. This happens by the speaking and expressing and the continuous effort ( sports , work,therapy , mindfulness , friends etcc) that should one do everyday to keep that change of living without both .IT IS NOT EASY & WAS NOT EASY but The more I started to feel the free of depression and addiction life the more I fought and stuck to everything that I needed to do in order to change and because I wanted to fully experience the positive energy of the free recovered life. As the title says I was just asked to model by a local supplement company for their youth natural products etc not something huge ( it's not my main career. I have another business career that I also love and grateful for )but to go from where I was physically and mentally to where I am now and getting the chance to have a job in my passion that had helped in freeing me from my worst night mares is a blessing and is something that depressed addicted me would have never ever ever ever even thought about...So if u are reading this and can relate to any of the things I said in my story i'm here to tell u that it is really possible to defeat or control whatever is stopping you from fully living ur life and it is not easy to change it is hard really hard but to make it short and simple the beauty of the real life u experience while changing ( this is the term " high on life " in my perspective ) and after changing is really really worth it . Here is my before and after pics the out of shape pic is the only pic I could find when I was depressed ( I got much much fatter than this but didn't take photos ) The rest is how l look now and my shape that gave me the opportunity to model . If u really stuck through all the post I thank you very much for your time and I hope this sparked something positive inside you or inspired you in any way . Please if anyone want to ask anything regarding my depression or addiction , fitness anything feel free I will be more than happy to answer Thank you again ! 
this is going to be a really open talk post from me I really hope that my story inspires you or shows you that you are not alone). I post my transformation pics here often as I make progress but yeah I just post a fitness transformation...I never really talked about my real struggles and why I decided to change but today I'm taking this step just to maybe spark something good or inspire if by any chance anyone that is going through something like I have been through cause I know how hard it really is .this is going to be a long post ( if u made it till the end then you are awesome ! If not then u are ....1% less awesome :P ) here it goes I battled depression at a young age (16) (not because of my weight) because of other things in my life( including drugs) I would like to keep the other things private but I will talk openly about my substance use . my depression was strong enough to make me think about seriously ending it at 16 ..I read on the Internet join this medicate this medicate that and I was thinking that I'm smarter by self medicating my self with illegal substance mostly things that release serotonin and endorphins ( u can figure ) I can't say what exactly because of the forum policy I guess lol ..so did it work ? Well it worked for a while changed my mood and a lot of my perspectives till this day and made me more open minded about many many things so It did help..but till just I'm off them it got worse as I came back and slipped into the trap of upping what i take and that's when I found my self going in the direction of addiction. Things were getting out my hand and I was really scared about what I'm walking into at a very young age so I told my close friends ( thanks god I have them ) but I didn't tell my family because at 16, 17, 18 they would be devistated it's like all there years of putting work into raising me went for nothing..dunno if that was a wrong or right decision back then but all I know is it was better to tell someone than to keep it to my self . I did tell them later thought when I was older just last year oh i am 22 now if u are wondering lol..well i think u can guess how my family felt ..they couldn't believe me when I told them they were really shocked and just pale faces from hearing my story but I I showed them that it's really ok now and that I am over all these nightmares and this made them feel better about the situation not completely of course but enough to make them forget a bit about it . Now I won't go in details of my substance use days and depression coz it will take pages more than this ( plus probably u are already really bored from reading till this word . Almost done ! ) My weight gain started when I confronted my friends , I was abroad studying with them at the time in a different country so they did what really friends should do and I'm really grateful that God gave me true friends like them they made sure that I never touched anything and supported me in every way possible but they didn't push me into going out etc because I was really really depressed when I stopped taking the substance I was completely refusing the idea of going out and I took 1 semester off but I stayed abroad because I didn't want to go back home either and that's when I found food as a alternative I started eating and eating then ballooned to 98 kg almost 100 kg at just 176 cm it was a lot of weight on my chest and mind and it made my depression 10 x worse and in a foreign country away from home u can imagine how I felt , it is like I don't want to go back because I'm really in a bad state and I don't want my family to c me like this like I wrote earlier but also can't stand staying away from home...before I gained weight I always had this passion for running it was the really only natural thing that kept me away from committing suicide . one day ( call it what u want to call it , God power , the universe ) I just looked in the mirror and finally for the first time I really saw how weak , pathetic , lifeless , sluggish , cowardly etcc i really am . I painfully started going out and it is really one of the hardest things in life for someone with extreme depression and addiction to decide to start to live like a normal human again then slowly stared running again and dieting then I went to the weight room then I combined the 3 and man it was hell to wake up every morning and do those 3 but I really wanted change .. Slowly I saw progress but still I thought about giving up countless times but fought my way into defeating this thought and stuck to it and then i slowly started to feel better not just because of fitness but also because of my friends great support step by step as time passed I loved how fitness was changing me inside out and it became a hobby not a hellish thing to do lol then I finally took the ballsy move of seeking therapy ( real therapy I was willing to really talk and express not just to be on a med ) and that's when things started to get really better . I know I'm still a baby experience on this planet but I can say with all confidence that the only way anyone can really start to manage and control depression and addiction is by speaking and expressing and when I say speaking and expressing I don't mean the doctor appointment nor ur close friend chat or loved one . I mean speaking to ur self and being brave enough to express all the things that are kept hidden from ur self , I mean genuinely going to that deepest point of ur mind ,body and soul that people that are depressed and/or addicted in most cases know it's there but don't have the courage to confront and bring it up to the light and deal with it and I'm not saying defeat it ( u can't defeat depression and addiction ) sad but true but one can learn how to control both to the point of knowing that both are there but not feeling any of them anymore or not affecting him/her anymore. This happens by the speaking and expressing and the continuous effort ( sports , work,therapy , mindfulness , friends etcc) that should one do everyday to keep that change of living without both .IT IS NOT EASY & WAS NOT EASY but The more I started to feel the free of depression and addiction life the more I fought and stuck to everything that I needed to do in order to change and because I wanted to fully experience the positive energy of the free recovered life. As the title says I was just asked to model by a local supplement company for their youth natural products etc not something huge ( it's not my main career. I have another business career that I also love and grateful for )but to go from where I was physically and mentally to where I am now and getting the chance to have a job in my passion that had helped in freeing me from my worst night mares is a blessing and is something that depressed addicted me would have never ever ever ever even thought about...So if u are reading this and can relate to any of the things I said in my story i'm here to tell u that it is really possible to defeat or control whatever is stopping you from fully living ur life and it is not easy to change it is hard really hard but to make it short and simple the beauty of the real life u experience while changing ( this is the term " high on life " in my perspective ) and after changing is really really worth it . Here is my before and after pics the out of shape pic is the only pic I could find when I was depressed ( I got much much fatter than this but didn't take photos ) The rest is how l look now and my shape that gave me the opportunity to model . If u really stuck through all the post I thank you very much for your time and I hope this sparked something positive inside you or inspired you in any way . Please if anyone want to ask anything regarding my depression or addiction , fitness anything feel free I will be more than happy to answer Thank you again ! 28
Replies
-
Well done on what you have achieved!
Sorry I didn't read your post, the big wall of text without paragraphs is difficult to read.10 -
I read your story, the whole big wall of text
. Impressive story and even more impressive how you recovered. Be proud of yourself for posting this message, it takes courage and not many people would dare to do that in public. Good luck with the modelling and all the other wonderful things in your life! 3 -
Well done dude 1
-
HungryasFuark wrote: »Heyy everyone thanks for taking some of your time to check my post ! this is going to be a really open talk post from me I really hope that my story inspires you or shows you that you are not alone). I post my transformation pics here often as I make progress but yeah I just post a fitness transformation...I never really talked about my real struggles and why I decided to change but today I'm taking this step just to maybe spark something good or inspire if by any chance anyone that is going through something like I have been through cause I know how hard it really is .this is going to be a long post ( if u made it till the end then you are awesome ! If not then u are ....1% less awesome :P ) here it goes I battled depression at a young age (16) (not because of my weight) because of other things in my life( including drugs) I would like to keep the other things private but I will talk openly about my substance use . my depression was strong enough to make me think about seriously ending it at 16 ..I read on the Internet join this medicate this medicate that and I was thinking that I'm smarter by self medicating my self with illegal substance mostly things that release serotonin and endorphins ( u can figure ) I can't say what exactly because of the forum policy I guess lol ..so did it work ? Well it worked for a while changed my mood and a lot of my perspectives till this day and made me more open minded about many many things so It did help..but till just I'm off them it got worse as I came back and slipped into the trap of upping what i take and that's when I found my self going in the direction of addiction. Things were getting out my hand and I was really scared about what I'm walking into at a very young age so I told my close friends ( thanks god I have them ) but I didn't tell my family because at 16, 17, 18 they would be devistated it's like all there years of putting work into raising me went for nothing..dunno if that was a wrong or right decision back then but all I know is it was better to tell someone than to keep it to my self . I did tell them later thought when I was older just last year oh i am 22 now if u are wondering lol..well i think u can guess how my family felt ..they couldn't believe me when I told them they were really shocked and just pale faces from hearing my story but I I showed them that it's really ok now and that I am over all these nightmares and this made them feel better about the situation not completely of course but enough to make them forget a bit about it . Now I won't go in details of my substance use days and depression coz it will take pages more than this ( plus probably u are already really bored from reading till this word . Almost done ! ) My weight gain started when I confronted my friends , I was abroad studying with them at the time in a different country so they did what really friends should do and I'm really grateful that God gave me true friends like them they made sure that I never touched anything and supported me in every way possible but they didn't push me into going out etc because I was really really depressed when I stopped taking the substance I was completely refusing the idea of going out and I took 1 semester off but I stayed abroad because I didn't want to go back home either and that's when I found food as a alternative I started eating and eating then ballooned to 98 kg almost 100 kg at just 176 cm it was a lot of weight on my chest and mind and it made my depression 10 x worse and in a foreign country away from home u can imagine how I felt , it is like I don't want to go back because I'm really in a bad state and I don't want my family to c me like this like I wrote earlier but also can't stand staying away from home...before I gained weight I always had this passion for running it was the really only natural thing that kept me away from committing suicide . one day ( call it what u want to call it , God power , the universe ) I just looked in the mirror and finally for the first time I really saw how weak , pathetic , lifeless , sluggish , cowardly etcc i really am . I painfully started going out and it is really one of the hardest things in life for someone with extreme depression and addiction to decide to start to live like a normal human again then slowly stared running again and dieting then I went to the weight room then I combined the 3 and man it was hell to wake up every morning and do those 3 but I really wanted change .. Slowly I saw progress but still I thought about giving up countless times but fought my way into defeating this thought and stuck to it and then i slowly started to feel better not just because of fitness but also because of my friends great support step by step as time passed I loved how fitness was changing me inside out and it became a hobby not a hellish thing to do lol then I finally took the ballsy move of seeking therapy ( real therapy I was willing to really talk and express not just to be on a med ) and that's when things started to get really better . I know I'm still a baby experience on this planet but I can say with all confidence that the only way anyone can really start to manage and control depression and addiction is by speaking and expressing and when I say speaking and expressing I don't mean the doctor appointment nor ur close friend chat or loved one . I mean speaking to ur self and being brave enough to express all the things that are kept hidden from ur self , I mean genuinely going to that deepest point of ur mind ,body and soul that people that are depressed and/or addicted in most cases know it's there but don't have the courage to confront and bring it up to the light and deal with it and I'm not saying defeat it ( u can't defeat depression and addiction ) sad but true but one can learn how to control both to the point of knowing that both are there but not feeling any of them anymore or not affecting him/her anymore. This happens by the speaking and expressing and the continuous effort ( sports , work,therapy , mindfulness , friends etcc) that should one do everyday to keep that change of living without both .IT IS NOT EASY & WAS NOT EASY but The more I started to feel the free of depression and addiction life the more I fought and stuck to everything that I needed to do in order to change and because I wanted to fully experience the positive energy of the free recovered life. As the title says I was just asked to model by a local supplement company for their youth natural products etc not something huge ( it's not my main career. I have another business career that I also love and grateful for )but to go from where I was physically and mentally to where I am now and getting the chance to have a job in my passion that had helped in freeing me from my worst night mares is a blessing and is something that depressed addicted me would have never ever ever ever even thought about...So if u are reading this and can relate to any of the things I said in my story i'm here to tell u that it is really possible to defeat or control whatever is stopping you from fully living ur life and it is not easy to change it is hard really hard but to make it short and simple the beauty of the real life u experience while changing ( this is the term " high on life " in my perspective ) and after changing is really really worth it . Here is my before and after pics the out of shape pic is the only pic I could find when I was depressed ( I got much much fatter than this but didn't take photos ) The rest is how l look now and my shape that gave me the opportunity to model . If u really stuck through all the post I thank you very much for your time and I hope this sparked something positive inside you or inspired you in any way . Please if anyone want to ask anything regarding my depression or addiction , fitness anything feel free I will be more than happy to answer Thank you again !
Hey! That's one hell of a story you wrote there, but yet so beautiful. I've been through depression myself so I completely understand you (it is tough beyond words)... Do you even know how much my brain froze while reading this post? You got me speechless! You must be one of the rarest people on MFP that shared their story in small details. Though I know that there is so much more to it, it still leaves a deep impression...
I'm so happy you didn't have to fight down that road alone. You got some wonderful friends out there. Look at yourself! All fit and better... All I see is struggle, strenght, inspiration, dedication, victory (could go on for days...) when I look at those photos... You are truly amazing! I'm so glad you shared your thoughts, you made my day! Don't ever go back to that, you are here for a reason. This change already brought you something good. Stick to it! Follow your passion! And never let anything destroy you!
Be a fighter, never a loser! Wish you all the best!1 -
tiptoethruthetulips wrote: »Well done on what you have achieved!
Sorry I didn't read your post, the big wall of text without paragraphs is difficult to read.
Haha my bad ,no problem appreciate ur time thank you !
0 -
I read your story, the whole big wall of text. Impressive story and even more impressive how you recovered. Be proud of yourself for posting this message, it takes courage and not many people would dare to do that in public. Good luck with the modelling and all the other wonderful things in your life!
Haha You are one of the awesome then
thank you for your words and time appreciate it !
1 -
-
@alexisslolypop I'm really glad that my post did anything positive to ur day or mind this is the reason I'm posting all of this thank you for your time and beautiful words really appreciate it And I will keep fighting and winning ! 1
-
Omfg!!!! I read all of that. Very difficult to read but omg. What a story! Good on you for telling your mates and eventually your family. I have seen how hard it is to quit drugs and gain the weight afterwards.
You sir are a legend in my book. And wowee total eye candy too! Your muscle definition is beautiful1 -
I read it! Do I get a +1?
No, you get the +1. Really well done beating the depression, the weight and the addiction. I totally understand the broken place you got to and the strength and courage it takes to recover. Well done. You have a great life ahead of you.
Thanks for the pics, too. That's impressive work on your body.3 -
"Nothing huge" he says. This is a HUGE DEAL! Especially considering everything it's taken to get where you are. I understand your struggle. KEEP moving forward. I have no doubt that you will inspire so many people, and at such a young age. You are simply amazing my friend!1
-
I've gone from rushing about getting ready for work to now, sitting here just amazed by what I have read. Im so sorry that you have had a rough start in life and had to deal with things a young boy shouldn't have but, WoW your story of how you fought through this and turned your life around is incredible and will inspire many. You should be so proud of yourself, I hope you continue to share your story and help others. Thank you for opening up to us like that, I'm sad that the first comment had to be about the wall of text? We aren't here for the pictures, your words are what is going to make the difference in someone's life. Thank you.1
-
Karen_can_do_this wrote: »Omfg!!!! I read all of that. Very difficult to read but omg. What a story! Good on you for telling your mates and eventually your family. I have seen how hard it is to quit drugs and gain the weight afterwards.
You sir are a legend in my book. And wowee total eye candy too! Your muscle definition is beautiful
Thank you for reading till the end ! And for ur nice word appreciate it !:) @Karen_can_do_this
0 -
Please learn to paragraph. I came in wanting to find out more but honestly a wall of text with no breaks is not good. You look lean though, so well done.2
-
I could not read it either, but I looked at the pictures and saw the words depression, addiction in the title and it was enough to tell your story to me!
Great work! 1 -
I didn't read it, but I skimmed it. So, does that make me 0.5% less awesome, not the full 1%?
Oh, and Good job!0 -
cmriverside wrote: »I read it! Do I get a +1?
No, you get the +1. Really well done beating the depression, the weight and the addiction. I totally understand the broken place you got to and the strength and courage it takes to recover. Well done. You have a great life ahead of you.
Thanks for the pics, too. That's impressive work on your body.
Thank you for reading till the end ! +1000 lol and thank you for ur nice words
0 -
: flowerforyou :0
-
@kelleykelcoxkelleykelcox wrote: »"Nothing huge" he says. This is a HUGE DEAL! Especially considering everything it's taken to get where you are. I understand your struggle. KEEP moving forward. I have no doubt that you will inspire so many people, and at such a young age. You are simply amazing my friend!
Thank you for reading till the end :)and for ur positive words u are also amazing my friend !
0 -
@leecha2014leecha2014 wrote: »I've gone from rushing about getting ready for work to now, sitting here just amazed by what I have read. Im so sorry that you have had a rough start in life and had to deal with things a young boy shouldn't have but, WoW your story of how you fought through this and turned your life around is incredible and will inspire many. You should be so proud of yourself, I hope you continue to share your story and help others. Thank you for opening up to us like that, I'm sad that the first comment had to be about the wall of text? We aren't here for the pictures, your words are what is going to make the difference in someone's life. Thank you.
Wow ur comment really put a smile on my face thank you for your awesome words and for your time !
0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 389 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 918 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions
Do you Love MyFitnessPal? Have you crushed a goal or improved your life through better nutrition using MyFitnessPal?
Share your success and inspire others. Leave us a review on Apple Or Google Play stores!
Share your success and inspire others. Leave us a review on Apple Or Google Play stores!