Body image issues. (After losing the weight)

CadenDavid

I've spent this entire year reshaping my psyche. And everything went to plan.. Except one thing. Now I'm not sure if those of you that have done the same felt/feel this way too. But every time I look in the mirror... I still see that guy I thought I had left behind. And it's hard to hear that I'm crazy that I can't see the change but it's not so cut and dry.. Have you guys been through a similar experience? Are you going through a similar experience? If so how (did/are) you (deal/dealing)with those issues? Much appreciated. -95lbs.

a45cal

A lot of us have this, and it goes both ways. I've been a healthy weight and looked in the mirror and thought I was fat, and I've been 40 pounds overweight and looked in the mirror and thought "I don't look so bad". Body dysmorphia's a *kitten*.

One thing that might help is to look at before and after pictures instead of relying on the mirror. Sometimes putting two pictures side by side helps you see the individual points of difference much better than looking in the mirror does.

Other than that, it might take a while for your brain to catch up with your body's changes. But congrats, regardless. That's a huge weight loss.

jemhh

Congrats on your loss. That takes a lot dedication.

It can take a long time for your mind to catch up with your body and sometimes it never does 100%. I lost my weight in 2014 and still struggle with body image issues. Much more now than when I was obese, actually. Right now I am trying to deal with it by focusing on getting stronger more than changing how I look. I am also trying some meditation. The latter is very new so we will see how it goes. The mental aspect of weight loss has been far more difficult than actually losing weight.

shadow2soul

It's a daily battle for me. I have days were I feel good and love the way I look. At the same time there are a lot of days were I still think I'm huge and think I look fat. I don't know if my mind will ever catch up.

thereshegoesagain

I have this issue also. I've lost 90+ pounds over 4 years and still feel like my old self some of the time. Sometimes I'll feel my collar bones or the muscles in my arms, etc. to remind me how far I've come.

cnbbnc

It's been almost a year since I hit my goal weight and I still struggle with the changes in myself. Like someone else said, some days I feel great and other days I feel like my former fat self. On the bad days I find myself thinking...how fat was I if I'm feeling this bad now??? It messes with my mind a lot....

I don't know what to do to fix it, but I'm hoping that as more time passes this new body will feel like "me". It doesn't yet. As much as I love it, I'm not used to it.

You're not alone here.

Meganthedogmom

I definitely go through the same thing. It's been worse for me in the past, but still happens from time to time. Before pictures are very important and I wish I had taken more - but of course I hated having my picture taken back then :P
That is an awesome loss you should be proud of, though. I am certain there's a difference, but it can be difficult to see it for yourself even when everyone around you can see it.

davegetshealthy2016

@CadenDavid I'm 56lbs down and do exactly the same! I can feel the difference in my clothes but I just can't see it especially on my thighs and waist

CMNVA

I have the issue, but in reverse. Most of my life (especially when body issues develop in your teens), I was superthin. It's very hard to look at myself in the mirror and see that I might be overweight. The longer I have been overweight, the more my mind does accept it, but I think I will always see myself as a thin person even when I'm not.

GottaBurnEmAll

I'm in the same place as you OP. I've lost almost as much weight as you have over two years. I'm still not quite seeing myself as I am now, and wonder sometimes if I ever will. I really have no answers. I try to focus more on meeting fitness goals and less on what I see and just hope some day my silly brain will catch up with me.

Effie008

Well, I find it best with photos. You can' t see detail but with great loss it is incredible, before and after.
I also think keeping a log of measurements speaks quite loudly and it's something you can be proud of.
Starting with being proud of yourself for your achievement is definitely a big step. No matter what others say.
I don't believe people when they tell me I look like I lost weight, to feel good it has to come from within.
The best way to celebrate gain loss for me, is to go shopping. It's amazing the thrill I get from trying a smaller size and my head says no way BUT I fit in it!
I have to though ask when you look at yourself in the mirror, what is it that makes it difficult to appreciate your new look? In my case when I lost 30 kgs I still thought I looked fat. I didn't compare myself to when i was 30kgs heavier but, because I compared myself to when I was thinner. So even though I lost some it wasn't enough to feel good about myself.

bioklutz

I can sympathize! I look much better. I feel like my problem areas look much worse by comparison though. I don't walk around in public without clothes off so I am not thinking about how I look to other people. And my husband thinks I look good and tells me so that is a bit of a confidence boost.

I starting to lift weights 21 months ago was also a huge confidence boost. I have seen positive changes to my body. There is also something really awesome about not having to ask for help in my day to day life. If something needs to be picked up and moved I just do it! I feel powerful so I tend to not think about my fat *kitten* and thighs as much

wrharvill

This is a very good example of how we create our own reality. Years of accumulated negative mind noise doesn't always go away once we reach a certain size or number on the scale or tape. I fluxuate back and forth myself with the residue of self shaming- the suggestion about trying on clothes that your mind tells you will never fit, yet they do, is a good exercise to give yourself more moments of "wow, this is really real". Kind of like stacking the deck in your favor.

Right now I"m struggling with the number on the scale jumping up to 126 occasionally. Really? I'm upset seeing ONE HUNDRED TWENTY SIX pounds? That's when I have to step back, re-group and recognize that voice for what it is and move on.

rainbowbow

yes, i struggle with this even after 5 years of maintaining a lower weight.

Even worse, i switch back and forth from seeing myself at my fattest to seeing myself at my most fit and ripped. In other words there are days when i see myself as much less attractive than i am, AND days when i have a super inflated ego and see myself as much better than i objectively look.

I think i struggle with some serious body dysmorphia and i really can't see myself objectively at all. It's incredibly frustrating. you're not alone!

LucasEVille

Every time I have this I just look at my recorded measurements over time, the clothes in my wardrobe and the running, cycling and swimming stats on my Strava and Garmin, suddenly the feeling seems a little small and puny in comparison to my achievements.

duddysdad

After I had lost 160 pounds, from 340 to 180 @ 6'5", I still had it in my head that I needed to lose another 15-20 pounds, even though I probably didn't. Everyone said I was too skinny, or if they knew I wanted to lose more weight, they would freak out and give me a lecture. I've only been skinny once in my life, and that was last year before I binged 50 pounds on this year. I looked skinny with my clothes on, but with my clothes off you could tell I needed to lose a bit more weight and do some sort of strength training. Even at 180 pounds, when I had my physical, my doctor asked me if I was going to lose more weight. My BMI was 21, but even he said that I needed to lose more weight, while other people would never say that to me.

But currently I am in the process of losing the extra weight I gained this year, and when I get back down to my goal again, I am just going to focus on building some muscle to change the composition of my body instead of thinking that I need to lose more weight.

Michael190lbs

cnbbnc wrote: »

It's been almost a year since I hit my goal weight and I still struggle with the changes in myself. Like someone else said, some days I feel great and other days I feel like my former fat self. On the bad days I find myself thinking...how fat was I if I'm feeling this bad now??? It messes with my mind a lot....

I don't know what to do to fix it, but I'm hoping that as more time passes this new body will feel like "me". It doesn't yet. As much as I love it, I'm not used to it.

You're not alone here.

I can so relate to this Thank you-

I stopped looking at Magazines got rid of cable TV and got out more. Walk through the mall you will feel so skinny pop into a Mcdonalds (don't eat anything) just look around your the smallest one there. Look around more American's are FAT, although its depressing to think about I look freaking great around all these Fat strangers and it makes me feel Fantastic:):)

newheavensearth

I understand your feelings. My weight is 5 lbs over normal BMI and I admit that *maybe* I could lose a few more. I've decided to speak to a dr about that. But I recently put my before and after pictures as my profile picture there and my phone screensaver so I can see that this is real. I finally threw out my big clothes, too. My fear is that if I don't see myself as a smaller person soon I will regain as a I have so many times before. I'm not going there again, I worked too hard for this. So my mind better catch up to my body and quick!

Btw, what also helps is not to compare yourself to others who you think might be in better shape than you. Youn don't know their journey or how they got like that. Appreciate the body you have now and be proud of the time and effort you put into it to improve yourself!

nowine4me

OP- go shopping. Yes, really. Go to a nice store and try on clothes in your new size that fit you really, really well. Take a hard look at yourself from all angles in the 3-way mirrors. Ask the sales people for their opinions. Walk out with something that makes you look and feel awesome.

afatpersonwholikesfood

Just seconding the suggestions for trying on clothes. Might be different since you're a dude but I would literally go multiple times a month to try on clothes - sole purpose, didn't even buy them - up until just recently. I went from automatically heading to stuff that was too large and being unaware to now being able to hold up a shirt and say, "Yup, this will fit me or *gasp* this looks too big," before getting to the fitting room. My husband buying me two "tiny" tops last month was also a good kick in the brain. He didn't know my size; he just held them up and thought they looked like my size. That was a good realization for me. Good thing he didn't err on the side of caution and go larger, lol.

SLLRunner

Yep, I know where you are coming from. It's often a struggle. Sometimes I'm afraid my old self will come rushing back.

Be patient, tolerant and kind to yourself and allow your mind to adjust to your new body.

Congratulations on such an excellent achievement, by the way!