Struggling runner looking for buddies and support

ProjectHappyHealthy

Hi everybody!

My name is Liz and I'm a thirty one year old long time on-and-off runner living in the Tampa Bay area of Florida.

In the past I could work upwards through the miles/time without too much difficulty. It was sometimes very hard, but by no means felt impossible. I always ran alone and with little regard for speed/pace. I knew that I was slow, of course, but my focus was on time spent running and distance run, not speed. However, I recently started running again with a friend who is much faster than I've ever been and the disparity has badly shaken my confidence in myself. While it has been good for me to push myself to improve my pace, I feel like I've hit a way at three or four miles at this new speed. And not in a way that feels as though it's too difficult or uncomfortable to push through, but that it's literally impossible - a feeling that I've never had before. Although my friend has been unfailingly patient and kind, never once making me feel rushed, pressured, or as though she feels frustrated by my pace, I can't help but feel upset, embarrassed, and guilty just knowing that I'm holding her back. In frustration and guilt I have since stopped running altogether. Running alone is hard for me and I don't know anyone else in my area who runs, and at a pace closer to my own, so I have, for the moment, given up. Although I want so badly to start again by myself I feel almost afraid to try - I was such a disappointment to myself last time. Maybe I just need to return to my former snail pace and work up to that pace much more slowly than I did when starting with my friend, but now that I'm aware of the huge pace disparity between myself and other runners I find it so difficult just to let it go and to be patient with myself. I feel slow, lazy, and angry with my body for not "keeping up".

I'm hoping to find virtual running buddies, experienced and beginner alike, with whom I can share this "journey" towards some kind of self acceptance, and maybe even someone in my area to run with in person. But I would just love to develop a support group for struggling runners who could use some encouragement, motivation, and reassurance that what we're feeling is normal. Suggestions, support, and advice from seasoned runners would be incredibly welcome! I just want to actually enjoy running again, or at least to lessen the pre-run dread that I feel. I have a fitbit charge 2 and use Runkeeper to track my runs, and I would love to find some buddies on those platforms, too.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my rambling monologue! I will keep my fingers - and toes! - crossed that I can find other users who share my interests and concerns, and that we can support and motivate each other to become stronger, more confident runners.

Keep running!!

Liz

whitemagnolia1

Hi, I have been struggling to just go out & run. I started calling it jogging. Sounds easier, less difficult & it did help me keep up for a week or 2. I live in FL, too, on the other coast. I always run by myself because of my slow pace , short legs, & lack of discipline to keep a schedule. I think as long as u go out & do it, u r doing great. I would like to begin running this week. And try to keep it up each week. It is my most loved exercise. & I will lose weight faster with running. Here is my running history: I played soccer & softball in elementary grades. In high school I played soccer 1st 2 years, ran track all 4 years, cross country at least 2 years. Joined military & ran almost every day for about 6 years. 8 min mile. Had my son & didn't run after that. Got a treadmill and started walking, but it mostly collected dust. Lived in snow covered winter & didn't exercise outside. Moved to warmer place & tried c25k, felt there was a giant leap after 2nd week, gave up. Tried again about a year later, but modified increments up to the 45 mins. Bought some updated running pants & bras. Felt better. Moved to FL. Brought my treadmill to the livingroom. Walk while watching recorded tv shows. I began running to see how far I can go without stopping, when felt too exhausted to go further, I walked in between & jogged again & I walk to cool down about 5 mins afterward. I try to stay going with the jog/walk for at least 45 mins. I stretch before & after, but that is a personal preference. I think my pace is 12 min mile at the fastest, not including when I walk. I have just installed Runkeeper, Fitbit has not synced since october, so that is super frustrating/ disappointing, & I have a running tracker on my mobile phone that uses GPS to map my route & keeps track of fastest pace & longest distance. I would love to run a marathon one day. For now, I will work on being able to run a full 1 or 2 miles without stopping. Add me as friend to help motivate each other.

fattothinmum

I'm a proud slow runner. We're awesome and out there doing. Don't be ashamed of it. Be proud that you can RUN. Speed isn't important. You're doing it for you. Our bodies can't all tolerate the same things. I know I'm never going to be fast and I'm ok with that. 5 miles is 5 miles, whether I take half an hour or an hour or an hour and a half.

Be kinder on yourself and be proud of what you can do. Just doing is awesome.

theamazingcassiebunny

Just do what you can! I have been the fast one and the slow one in a running pair, so I have seen both sides. When I was the "fast" one (I've never been actually fast, just faster than my friend), I didn't feel frustrated or annoyed with her pace at all. She got frustrated, however, and we didn't run together again. It kind of hurt my feelings the way she reacted . As the "slow" one I am sometimes more motivated to try to keep up, and other times I just do my own thing and don't worry if I fall behind. My husband sometimes runs with me, and his longer legs pretty much guarantee he's going to outpace me.

I'm currently running solo as hubby hates running when it's cold, while I prefer it. Running alone is almost like meditation for me. I say if you want to run, run! Don't let worries about how fast you think you should be keep you from doing something you want to do!

I wouldn't call myself a seasoned runner, but I have dealt with injuries and the process of trying to build myself back up to where I used to be, so feel free to add me if you'd like. I am currently working on distance rather than speed, with 4 runs a week.

RUN_LIFT_EAT_

I've been a runner for 30 years... with LOTS of off-and-ons. Have done everything up to a mountain marathon, with trail races being my favorite. Just now firing things up after taking a break for a busy summer (work). Gotta get back in physical and cardio shape. Would be happy to have you (and other runners) as a virtual friend.

Torgrills

I'm a slow runner too, (located in Colorado) and I run alone for the exact reasons you posted: trying to keep up with others only triggers tons of anxiety and self doubt, and I start to hate an activity that has always felt like a release to me. I'm doing a 10K next Saturday and am also training for a half in March.

katharmonic

There is a monthly running challenge in the challenges section of this forum. Lots of friendly support and encouragement every month there!