Need some support and reassurance
Replies
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Maybe ask your dr for a specific diet plan (most probably this will mean a reference to a dietitian)?
No. I already have dietary restrictions due to severe allergies that have led me to stop breathing. I have gotten really good at avoiding my allergens, so I won't tamper with that. Besides, I'm also a firm believer of you can eat anything as long as it fit into your calorie goal.
In general, I would agree. But what happens when this is not working and you are also pregnant? Your weight already makes this a high risk pregnancy, and not stepping on the scale will not make the risk lower. I do not understand all the "no worries, you are pregnant". Obesity is a risk factor for several complications, so having a medically supervised plan to avoid further weight gain or even lose weight, depending on dr's instructions, sounds safer than not worrying.
So going to a dietitian, having them change what actually works for me and keeps me safe, and try a new way of eating that could
Kill me is better? No.
Last time I went to a dietitian, they quite literally gave me a food plan that would have killed me because they didn't understand my allergies.
I didn't need a lecture about my weight, I needed some support. This is not helpful. I'm already panicking literally everyday about the baby, I don't need you to make it worse.3 -
Aww Congratulations on being pregnant. Babies are a gift. Don't worry about the weight now, just log and eat healthy for the two of you. The weight will come off later.2
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Maybe ask your dr for a specific diet plan (most probably this will mean a reference to a dietitian)?
No. I already have dietary restrictions due to severe allergies that have led me to stop breathing. I have gotten really good at avoiding my allergens, so I won't tamper with that. Besides, I'm also a firm believer of you can eat anything as long as it fit into your calorie goal.
In general, I would agree. But what happens when this is not working and you are also pregnant? Your weight already makes this a high risk pregnancy, and not stepping on the scale will not make the risk lower. I do not understand all the "no worries, you are pregnant". Obesity is a risk factor for several complications, so having a medically supervised plan to avoid further weight gain or even lose weight, depending on dr's instructions, sounds safer than not worrying.
But what she said WILL work. Right now she is growing a baby though so there will be some weight gain due to that. Eating everything within your calories has worked great for many people, myself included. She doesn't need some diet plan. OP, I know how stressful it is. I was obese during my 2nd pregnancy and really stressed about too much weight gain. Right now your focus needs to be on baby and try not to stress too much about the weight.3 -
Maybe ask your dr for a specific diet plan (most probably this will mean a reference to a dietitian)?
No. I already have dietary restrictions due to severe allergies that have led me to stop breathing. I have gotten really good at avoiding my allergens, so I won't tamper with that. Besides, I'm also a firm believer of you can eat anything as long as it fit into your calorie goal.
In general, I would agree. But what happens when this is not working and you are also pregnant? Your weight already makes this a high risk pregnancy, and not stepping on the scale will not make the risk lower. I do not understand all the "no worries, you are pregnant". Obesity is a risk factor for several complications, so having a medically supervised plan to avoid further weight gain or even lose weight, depending on dr's instructions, sounds safer than not worrying.
But what she said WILL work. Right now she is growing a baby though so there will be some weight gain due to that. Eating everything within your calories has worked great for many people, myself included. She doesn't need some diet plan. OP, I know how stressful it is. I was obese during my 2nd pregnancy and really stressed about too much weight gain. Right now your focus needs to be on baby and try not to stress too much about the weight.
Exactly. It's led me to lose 100lbs in the past (I got lazy when we added another person to our household). Right now I'm supposed to be gaining (eating 300 calories above maintainence) according to my OB. I just don't like seeing the number go up.0 -
You're doing just fine, @elphie54. Remember it's not much fat you're gaining. It's the baby, the placenta, the amniotic fluid, a 30% increase in blood volume, retained water...
Your health and your baby's health are more important than a number on a scale. If your OB says you should be gaining, listen to that advice and take care of yourself.
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You're doing just fine, @elphie54. Remember it's not much fat you're gaining. It's the baby, the placenta, the amniotic fluid, a 30% increase in blood volume, retained water...
Your health and your baby's health are more important than a number on a scale. If your OB says you should be gaining, listen to that advice and take care of yourself.
Thank you.0 -
You are pregnant so cut yourself some slack
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trigden1991 wrote: »You are pregnant so cut yourself some slack
Easier said than done lol.0 -
So much good advice here. Food allergies are so hard! We dealt with some anaphylactic food allergies for quite awhile and it's exhausting staying diligent. You're doing a great job! Just hang in there. It feels like forever but you're more then half way. Just do your best food wise and deal with it afterwards. I completely get your panic. I did that too. I think @avskk gave you great advice and I would just echo that for trying to deal with the mental aspect of the weight. I wish someone had suggested I look at the weight gain that way. I think it would have been helpful to have a specific place to put the weight focus.
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ronjsteele1 wrote: »So much good advice here. Food allergies are so hard! We dealt with some anaphylactic food allergies for quite awhile and it's exhausting staying diligent. You're doing a great job! Just hang in there. It feels like forever but you're more then half way. Just do your best food wise and deal with it afterwards. I completely get your panic. I did that too. I think @avskk gave you great advice and I would just echo that for trying to deal with the mental aspect of the weight. I wish someone had suggested I look at the weight gain that way. I think it would have been helpful to have a specific place to put the weight focus.
Thank you! Yeah, anaphylactic reactions are nothing to play with. It was a long road to figuring out what I could actually eat.0 -
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. From what my friends tell me (haven't been there myself and don't really intend to go there) it can be hard on body and psyche, especially when things go awry.
So *hugs* from me and keep doing what you're doing, because regardless of the number on the scale, I'm positive it's the right thing. 1 -
ladyreva78 wrote: »I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. From what my friends tell me (haven't been there myself and don't really intend to go there) it can be hard on body and psyche, especially when things go awry.
So *hugs* from me and keep doing what you're doing, because regardless of the number on the scale, I'm positive it's the right thing.
Thank you!0 -
1
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Maybe ask your dr for a specific diet plan (most probably this will mean a reference to a dietitian)?
No. I already have dietary restrictions due to severe allergies that have led me to stop breathing. I have gotten really good at avoiding my allergens, so I won't tamper with that. Besides, I'm also a firm believer of you can eat anything as long as it fit into your calorie goal.
In general, I would agree. But what happens when this is not working and you are also pregnant? Your weight already makes this a high risk pregnancy, and not stepping on the scale will not make the risk lower. I do not understand all the "no worries, you are pregnant". Obesity is a risk factor for several complications, so having a medically supervised plan to avoid further weight gain or even lose weight, depending on dr's instructions, sounds safer than not worrying.
So going to a dietitian, having them change what actually works for me and keeps me safe, and try a new way of eating that could
Kill me is better? No.
Last time I went to a dietitian, they quite literally gave me a food plan that would have killed me because they didn't understand my allergies.
I didn't need a lecture about my weight, I needed some support. This is not helpful. I'm already panicking literally everyday about the baby, I don't need you to make it worse.
You are saying your current weight is 260 lbs and that you are telling yourself some of the gain is baby. Baby pkus everything else at this stage is about 5 lbs. If you had started 250ish, I am guessign you wouldn't be worrying now. Sometimes, worry is good. I do not get at all the "you are pregnant, it is ok" mentality. You have about 20 more weeks to go, it is not like it is over, so just give up, do nto step on the scale, it is one more week. 20 weeks of uncontrolled eating could easily mean a final weight of 300 or more. I am not saying "PANIC!!!", I am saying, get advice from a professional, because you need to control this. If you now have a list of safe foods, surely a dietitian can work with this list. I also have serious allergies, I understand. I am not sure every pregnant woman can just estimate calories and count and be fine. I doubt I could when pregnant.
Sorry to sound harsh, but I do nto understand why a pregnant obese woman needs to hear "you re doing a great job, do not step on the scale". If weight gain was bad pre-pregnancy, uncontrolled weight gain is twice bad now. And pregnancy does nto make us stupid and does not take control away from us. Of course you can still control this.1 -
Maybe ask your dr for a specific diet plan (most probably this will mean a reference to a dietitian)?
No. I already have dietary restrictions due to severe allergies that have led me to stop breathing. I have gotten really good at avoiding my allergens, so I won't tamper with that. Besides, I'm also a firm believer of you can eat anything as long as it fit into your calorie goal.
In general, I would agree. But what happens when this is not working and you are also pregnant? Your weight already makes this a high risk pregnancy, and not stepping on the scale will not make the risk lower. I do not understand all the "no worries, you are pregnant". Obesity is a risk factor for several complications, so having a medically supervised plan to avoid further weight gain or even lose weight, depending on dr's instructions, sounds safer than not worrying.
So going to a dietitian, having them change what actually works for me and keeps me safe, and try a new way of eating that could
Kill me is better? No.
Last time I went to a dietitian, they quite literally gave me a food plan that would have killed me because they didn't understand my allergies.
I didn't need a lecture about my weight, I needed some support. This is not helpful. I'm already panicking literally everyday about the baby, I don't need you to make it worse.
You are saying your current weight is 260 lbs and that you are telling yourself some of the gain is baby. Baby pkus everything else at this stage is about 5 lbs. If you had started 250ish, I am guessign you wouldn't be worrying now. Sometimes, worry is good. I do not get at all the "you are pregnant, it is ok" mentality. You have about 20 more weeks to go, it is not like it is over, so just give up, do nto step on the scale, it is one more week. 20 weeks of uncontrolled eating could easily mean a final weight of 300 or more. I am not saying "PANIC!!!", I am saying, get advice from a professional, because you need to control this. If you now have a list of safe foods, surely a dietitian can work with this list. I also have serious allergies, I understand. I am not sure every pregnant woman can just estimate calories and count and be fine. I doubt I could when pregnant.
Sorry to sound harsh, but I do nto understand why a pregnant obese woman needs to hear "you re doing a great job, do not step on the scale". If weight gain was bad pre-pregnancy, uncontrolled weight gain is twice bad now. And pregnancy does nto make us stupid and does not take control away from us. Of course you can still control this.
Please take your negativity elsewhere. It is clearly not wanted here as I started before. You don't need to keep harping about a dietitian-I don't trust them and refuse to see one when they don't understand my dietary requirements.
Which by the way I did start at 252, so so far have only gained 8lbs. It's the mental fact of seeing 269 that is bothering me. I have not just been letting my eating out of control and have been eating within my calorie requirements. I'm sorry that you seem to not get that and think it is appropriate to continue to harass a pregnant woman who has up until now, been nice in rejecting your advice. Now I'm just fed up.
Please just leave this thread. I don't need your negativity and it is not helping. Not sure where you are from where harping and harassing someone who is already emotional is considered okay( but where I'm from it is rude and usually gets that person screamed at. Please just go.4 -
Maybe ask your dr for a specific diet plan (most probably this will mean a reference to a dietitian)?
No. I already have dietary restrictions due to severe allergies that have led me to stop breathing. I have gotten really good at avoiding my allergens, so I won't tamper with that. Besides, I'm also a firm believer of you can eat anything as long as it fit into your calorie goal.
In general, I would agree. But what happens when this is not working and you are also pregnant? Your weight already makes this a high risk pregnancy, and not stepping on the scale will not make the risk lower. I do not understand all the "no worries, you are pregnant". Obesity is a risk factor for several complications, so having a medically supervised plan to avoid further weight gain or even lose weight, depending on dr's instructions, sounds safer than not worrying.
So going to a dietitian, having them change what actually works for me and keeps me safe, and try a new way of eating that could
Kill me is better? No.
Last time I went to a dietitian, they quite literally gave me a food plan that would have killed me because they didn't understand my allergies.
I didn't need a lecture about my weight, I needed some support. This is not helpful. I'm already panicking literally everyday about the baby, I don't need you to make it worse.
You are saying your current weight is 260 lbs and that you are telling yourself some of the gain is baby. Baby pkus everything else at this stage is about 5 lbs. If you had started 250ish, I am guessign you wouldn't be worrying now. Sometimes, worry is good. I do not get at all the "you are pregnant, it is ok" mentality. You have about 20 more weeks to go, it is not like it is over, so just give up, do nto step on the scale, it is one more week. 20 weeks of uncontrolled eating could easily mean a final weight of 300 or more. I am not saying "PANIC!!!", I am saying, get advice from a professional, because you need to control this. If you now have a list of safe foods, surely a dietitian can work with this list. I also have serious allergies, I understand. I am not sure every pregnant woman can just estimate calories and count and be fine. I doubt I could when pregnant.
Sorry to sound harsh, but I do nto understand why a pregnant obese woman needs to hear "you re doing a great job, do not step on the scale". If weight gain was bad pre-pregnancy, uncontrolled weight gain is twice bad now. And pregnancy does nto make us stupid and does not take control away from us. Of course you can still control this.
Did you somewhere miss where a number of us suggested she continue to weigh, measure, and log what she eats to make sure she doesn't overdo it? No one is telling her to eat with abandon. What we're telling her is she's growing a baby. She can (and should) be careful with her diet (weighing, logging, etc) but at this point, it is counterproductive for her to stress about her weight and the scale. Stress isn't good for a growing baby either. If she's doing the basic things she can for monitoring herself, then not weighing herself is not going to do any harm and will likely help her mental outlook. I think you are stepping in here without either having really read what the rest of us have said, or just don't care if you come across rude.
We are telling her she's doing a great job because she's HAS done a great job of holding the line on her weight gain to as little as she can with her doctor's blessing. Gee whiz. Cut a hormonal, pregnant lady some slack, will ya?
@elphie754 Well, some of us were hormonal when we were pregnant. Maybe you're not.
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ronjsteele1 wrote: »Maybe ask your dr for a specific diet plan (most probably this will mean a reference to a dietitian)?
No. I already have dietary restrictions due to severe allergies that have led me to stop breathing. I have gotten really good at avoiding my allergens, so I won't tamper with that. Besides, I'm also a firm believer of you can eat anything as long as it fit into your calorie goal.
In general, I would agree. But what happens when this is not working and you are also pregnant? Your weight already makes this a high risk pregnancy, and not stepping on the scale will not make the risk lower. I do not understand all the "no worries, you are pregnant". Obesity is a risk factor for several complications, so having a medically supervised plan to avoid further weight gain or even lose weight, depending on dr's instructions, sounds safer than not worrying.
So going to a dietitian, having them change what actually works for me and keeps me safe, and try a new way of eating that could
Kill me is better? No.
Last time I went to a dietitian, they quite literally gave me a food plan that would have killed me because they didn't understand my allergies.
I didn't need a lecture about my weight, I needed some support. This is not helpful. I'm already panicking literally everyday about the baby, I don't need you to make it worse.
You are saying your current weight is 260 lbs and that you are telling yourself some of the gain is baby. Baby pkus everything else at this stage is about 5 lbs. If you had started 250ish, I am guessign you wouldn't be worrying now. Sometimes, worry is good. I do not get at all the "you are pregnant, it is ok" mentality. You have about 20 more weeks to go, it is not like it is over, so just give up, do nto step on the scale, it is one more week. 20 weeks of uncontrolled eating could easily mean a final weight of 300 or more. I am not saying "PANIC!!!", I am saying, get advice from a professional, because you need to control this. If you now have a list of safe foods, surely a dietitian can work with this list. I also have serious allergies, I understand. I am not sure every pregnant woman can just estimate calories and count and be fine. I doubt I could when pregnant.
Sorry to sound harsh, but I do nto understand why a pregnant obese woman needs to hear "you re doing a great job, do not step on the scale". If weight gain was bad pre-pregnancy, uncontrolled weight gain is twice bad now. And pregnancy does nto make us stupid and does not take control away from us. Of course you can still control this.
Did you somewhere miss where a number of us suggested she continue to weigh, measure, and log what she eats to make sure she doesn't overdo it? No one is telling her to eat with abandon. What we're telling her is she's growing a baby. She can (and should) be careful with her diet (weighing, logging, etc) but at this point, it is counterproductive for her to stress about her weight and the scale. Stress isn't good for a growing baby either. If she's doing the basic things she can for monitoring herself, then not weighing herself is not going to do any harm and will likely help her mental outlook. I think you are stepping in here without either having really read what the rest of us have said, or just don't care if you come across rude.
We are telling her she's doing a great job because she's HAS done a great job of holding the line on her weight gain to as little as she can with her doctor's blessing. Gee whiz. Cut a hormonal, pregnant lady some slack, will ya?
@elphie754 Well, some of us were hormonal when we were pregnant. Maybe you're not.
Hihi. Some of us get hormonal even when NOT pregnant...
@elphie754 reading comprehension isn't everyone's thing and there's the option to 'ignore' a user. Considering your circumstances you are doing great. Take it one day, one meal at a time. You know what your body needs, your doctor is looking out for you (at least I hope so or we might need to gang up on him) and honestly, with all the allergies you have, I wouldn't trust a dietician either. 
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ronjsteele1 wrote: »Maybe ask your dr for a specific diet plan (most probably this will mean a reference to a dietitian)?
No. I already have dietary restrictions due to severe allergies that have led me to stop breathing. I have gotten really good at avoiding my allergens, so I won't tamper with that. Besides, I'm also a firm believer of you can eat anything as long as it fit into your calorie goal.
In general, I would agree. But what happens when this is not working and you are also pregnant? Your weight already makes this a high risk pregnancy, and not stepping on the scale will not make the risk lower. I do not understand all the "no worries, you are pregnant". Obesity is a risk factor for several complications, so having a medically supervised plan to avoid further weight gain or even lose weight, depending on dr's instructions, sounds safer than not worrying.
So going to a dietitian, having them change what actually works for me and keeps me safe, and try a new way of eating that could
Kill me is better? No.
Last time I went to a dietitian, they quite literally gave me a food plan that would have killed me because they didn't understand my allergies.
I didn't need a lecture about my weight, I needed some support. This is not helpful. I'm already panicking literally everyday about the baby, I don't need you to make it worse.
You are saying your current weight is 260 lbs and that you are telling yourself some of the gain is baby. Baby pkus everything else at this stage is about 5 lbs. If you had started 250ish, I am guessign you wouldn't be worrying now. Sometimes, worry is good. I do not get at all the "you are pregnant, it is ok" mentality. You have about 20 more weeks to go, it is not like it is over, so just give up, do nto step on the scale, it is one more week. 20 weeks of uncontrolled eating could easily mean a final weight of 300 or more. I am not saying "PANIC!!!", I am saying, get advice from a professional, because you need to control this. If you now have a list of safe foods, surely a dietitian can work with this list. I also have serious allergies, I understand. I am not sure every pregnant woman can just estimate calories and count and be fine. I doubt I could when pregnant.
Sorry to sound harsh, but I do nto understand why a pregnant obese woman needs to hear "you re doing a great job, do not step on the scale". If weight gain was bad pre-pregnancy, uncontrolled weight gain is twice bad now. And pregnancy does nto make us stupid and does not take control away from us. Of course you can still control this.
Did you somewhere miss where a number of us suggested she continue to weigh, measure, and log what she eats to make sure she doesn't overdo it? No one is telling her to eat with abandon. What we're telling her is she's growing a baby. She can (and should) be careful with her diet (weighing, logging, etc) but at this point, it is counterproductive for her to stress about her weight and the scale. Stress isn't good for a growing baby either. If she's doing the basic things she can for monitoring herself, then not weighing herself is not going to do any harm and will likely help her mental outlook. I think you are stepping in here without either having really read what the rest of us have said, or just don't care if you come across rude.
We are telling her she's doing a great job because she's HAS done a great job of holding the line on her weight gain to as little as she can with her doctor's blessing. Gee whiz. Cut a hormonal, pregnant lady some slack, will ya?
@elphie754 Well, some of us were hormonal when we were pregnant. Maybe you're not.
Oh no, I certainly am. I just try to bite my tongue when possible, although it's not easy,ladyreva78 wrote: »ronjsteele1 wrote: »Maybe ask your dr for a specific diet plan (most probably this will mean a reference to a dietitian)?
No. I already have dietary restrictions due to severe allergies that have led me to stop breathing. I have gotten really good at avoiding my allergens, so I won't tamper with that. Besides, I'm also a firm believer of you can eat anything as long as it fit into your calorie goal.
In general, I would agree. But what happens when this is not working and you are also pregnant? Your weight already makes this a high risk pregnancy, and not stepping on the scale will not make the risk lower. I do not understand all the "no worries, you are pregnant". Obesity is a risk factor for several complications, so having a medically supervised plan to avoid further weight gain or even lose weight, depending on dr's instructions, sounds safer than not worrying.
So going to a dietitian, having them change what actually works for me and keeps me safe, and try a new way of eating that could
Kill me is better? No.
Last time I went to a dietitian, they quite literally gave me a food plan that would have killed me because they didn't understand my allergies.
I didn't need a lecture about my weight, I needed some support. This is not helpful. I'm already panicking literally everyday about the baby, I don't need you to make it worse.
You are saying your current weight is 260 lbs and that you are telling yourself some of the gain is baby. Baby pkus everything else at this stage is about 5 lbs. If you had started 250ish, I am guessign you wouldn't be worrying now. Sometimes, worry is good. I do not get at all the "you are pregnant, it is ok" mentality. You have about 20 more weeks to go, it is not like it is over, so just give up, do nto step on the scale, it is one more week. 20 weeks of uncontrolled eating could easily mean a final weight of 300 or more. I am not saying "PANIC!!!", I am saying, get advice from a professional, because you need to control this. If you now have a list of safe foods, surely a dietitian can work with this list. I also have serious allergies, I understand. I am not sure every pregnant woman can just estimate calories and count and be fine. I doubt I could when pregnant.
Sorry to sound harsh, but I do nto understand why a pregnant obese woman needs to hear "you re doing a great job, do not step on the scale". If weight gain was bad pre-pregnancy, uncontrolled weight gain is twice bad now. And pregnancy does nto make us stupid and does not take control away from us. Of course you can still control this.
Did you somewhere miss where a number of us suggested she continue to weigh, measure, and log what she eats to make sure she doesn't overdo it? No one is telling her to eat with abandon. What we're telling her is she's growing a baby. She can (and should) be careful with her diet (weighing, logging, etc) but at this point, it is counterproductive for her to stress about her weight and the scale. Stress isn't good for a growing baby either. If she's doing the basic things she can for monitoring herself, then not weighing herself is not going to do any harm and will likely help her mental outlook. I think you are stepping in here without either having really read what the rest of us have said, or just don't care if you come across rude.
We are telling her she's doing a great job because she's HAS done a great job of holding the line on her weight gain to as little as she can with her doctor's blessing. Gee whiz. Cut a hormonal, pregnant lady some slack, will ya?
@elphie754 Well, some of us were hormonal when we were pregnant. Maybe you're not.
Hihi. Some of us get hormonal even when NOT pregnant...
@elphie754 reading comprehension isn't everyone's thing and there's the option to 'ignore' a user. Considering your circumstances you are doing great. Take it one day, one meal at a time. You know what your body needs, your doctor is looking out for you (at least I hope so or we might need to gang up on him) and honestly, with all the allergies you have, I wouldn't trust a dietician either.
I think ignore might be a good option, otherwise I may say something I regret.0 -
I will also point out that water retention while pregnant is a very real thing and can contribute a lot of scale weight. I blew up like a balloon with both pregnancies. Lost 30 pounds within days of giving birth both times. Baby was not 30 pounds. Baby+placenta+amniotic fluid was not 30 pounds. At least 10 (probably 15) of those pounds was from swelling around my legs, my ankles, my fingers, you name the body part, it swelled.
I'm not the only person that happened to. My itty bitty teeny tiny nurse who weighs less than 100 pounds? She gained 80 pounds with pregnancy (and lost it all again and is teeny tiny again). Because of water retention. Which is another very good reason not to harass pregnant women about their weight.1
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