No dairy, no gluten oh my (very long if you dare)

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150poundsofme
150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
5'3 260 lbs age old. Binge eater/dieter yo-yo compulsive overeater for over 45 years. Went to Weight Watchers as a teenager with 15 lbs. to lose. Never once had a "normal" day of eating. Need to do something different because what I have been doing is not working; though sometimes it does work. When dieting I will eat B- oatmeal or shredded wheat with skim milk, maybe with a fruit or have eggs, skim milk, or cottage cheese/banana etc. L/D salad/veg and protein. This is what I always plan but never ever do. If I am going to a restaurant for lunch or dinner or at a friend's house I will "save" my morning healthy carb for the restaurant. But the thing is the restaurant never has a healthy carb. I go for the bread and butter or potato or fettuccine alfredo. Sometimes I can do this for a while and lose weight. But then I make too many exceptions to my rules. Well, this bread is small, I can have two. Oh I will have one roll and one potato or get the Olive Garden soup that is filled, one with pasta, the other with potatoes. Why I think I can have 3 bowls, well sometimes I do lose. I only go for the carbs (and I don't mean the carbs in fruits or veggies). Potatoes, pasta, rice, breads, crackers, junk foods, dessert, candy and also cheeses are all big triggers for me and truly it is what I really like and enjoy. I try not to keep any in the house because I cannot eat one portion. Oh yea, butter is evil. Love it. I cannot keep butter in the house. I do not enjoy veggies and not thrilled with chicken or meat.\
So I can diet, at home I will make tuna, chicken or turkey from a can with low fat mayo. I do like that on cut up green peppers, cucumbers, carrots and celery. Those are about the only veggies I eat. The cooked veggies I only like a bit if there are very soft. Hard to get that in restaurants and I can always taste too much salt even when I ask for none. I actually have been losing the same 20 - 26 lbs over and over again for the last 2 years.
I have some health issues, one being I am anemic/low iron. I just had 2 iron transfusions. Will go next week to doc and have labs taken. I read on-line, and of course it must be true lol, that excessive cow's milk takes the iron out of you. When I am binging I have excessive cow's milk (skim) with tons of cereal, cheeses etc. When I am dieting I eat cottage cheese, skim milk, Greek yogurt sometimes. I am thinking that maybe I should try to avoid dairy for one month or forever and see if that helps my iron (fatigue, tiredness).
I have always felt that low-carb is what works for me. I can lose weight if I watch the carbs. I never abuse meats, chicken or vegies. That's part of the problem - in restaurants I never want to order the chicken or meat (except for ribs). And I don't like restaurant veggies/salads.
I go out with a bunch of ladies once a week for lunch and with another group we go to different houses for lunch, also once a week. With hubby we do take-in a lot. At Chinese take-out I was trying to diet so I ordered chicken on a stick and a container of broccoli. I eat all 3 chickens and the broccoli but probably the sodium is too high and the sugar from the sauces.
I believe I need to COMMIT to not eating all those carbs I love. Oh, but the exceptions I always make. I know I can bring my own food to someone's house. At restaurants I thought I could always order grilled shrimp until I realized that many places do not even make that.
Only Longhorn and Outback restaurants have sweet potatoes.
So what am I asking of all of you? Do you think I should cut out dairy and cut out those carbs? I know I should just do it for one week but the way my diet mind works it's like I feel I need to make this long term. I do want and need to lose weight. But the wanting of certain foods and just even the need to eat anything, the compulsiveness and by now 45 years of habit eating and having to satisfy that need to eat is of course a big problem.
I like deli ham, hard salami, sometimes turkey and know that is not the best to eat though we will try to get the low sodium version. Last month in an Italian restaurant I asked for chicken parm and to make it with a grilled chicken, no breading. It was awful. They used a grilled chicken that already had basalmic(sp?) dressing on it. So I was trying but that didn't work out.
I need to know exactly what I should eat. I have realized that 3 meals works best for me, otherwise there is too much snacking. I do have salt-free almonds in the house and sometimes I grab those even when I am not hungry. Oh, my potassium is low. Got dried apricots. Well, I like them too much so they were gone very quickly. The only thing I don't binge on is meats, chicken, fish and vegetables and fruit. I do like fruit.
Thank you for reading. And for any suggestions you may have.
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Replies

  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    Do you ever think of preparing and eating your meals at home? Once you control what goes in your food you get control of your weight.

    What you describe is an expensive and hectic life of convenience, which should be recognized as the oxymoron it is. Life shouldn't be hectic for being convenient.

    You can make a fine meal in a crock pot with very little work and time.

    I'm not going to suggest that you find 20 different ways to have ribs. That's just ridiculous. But, you do need to have more vegetables, for the potassium, and more red meat, for the iron.
    I am skeptical of claims that dairy steals iron. At your age you may well be hitting menopause soon so your trouble with anemia will diminish.
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
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    SusanMFindlay wrote: »
    Potato *is* a healthy carb. I think you're demonizing a whole group of foods that are actually healthy. And you said it yourself, you don't want to eat the meat+veggies as your whole meal. So, how likely are you to stick to a low carb diet?

    Rather than give up starches, I'd suggest you try giving up restaurants for a month or two while you figure out a solid eating plan at home.
    No food groups should be demonized for weight loss.

    Weight loss is ALL about calories and consuming less calories than you burn in a whole day (TDEE).

  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
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    Thank you for your suggestions. I am 59 years old. The reason I say no to a baked potato is because I have it with butter and then ask usually for extra butter. I love the butter. I do not like a baked potato plain.
    If I diet and eat what I like, it would be all carbs. I am not the best of cooks. I can make salmon croquettes (burger) with canned salmon. I use very little oil. I do like it and don't know why I hardly ever make it. I had a recipe using chicken thighs. It took me about an hour to take off all the fat before I cooked it. I do have tons of recipes and know there are a zillion on-line. I will have to make it a priority to learn to cook a few dishes with chicken and meat that I like. I really do appreciate your thoughts. You just might be that push I need. Thank you.
  • astrocosmiczoom
    astrocosmiczoom Posts: 86 Member
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    150poundsofme wrote: »
    Thank you for your suggestions. I am 59 years old. The reason I say no to a baked potato is because I have it with butter and then ask usually for extra butter. I love the butter. I do not like a baked potato plain.

    Have you considered ghee? It's clarified butter (basically with the dairy parts removed.) I'm lactose-intolerant and I like it. I also can't eat a baked potato plain... yuck.
  • Duchy82
    Duchy82 Posts: 560 Member
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    How about you keep it simple? Set up mfp to lose a 0.5-1lb and just honestly log for a week exactly what you usually eat. It may be difficult to do honestly if you eat out a lot (including take aways) but make your best attempt. Then look back to your week and see where and how you are going over your calories. Make small chances over time to adjust this to staying within your calories. There is no need to cut out whole food groups just make changes to try and get the balance right, I still overdo it with carbs most of the time and I have been at this for years (you might tell I'm not that strict with myself but I'm ok with that I'm still lighter than I was 20 years ago)

    Try and start cooking simple homemade dishes. There are plenty of good basic cookbooks to help you (those based at students are usually great for this). Greens like spinach and some nuts/seeds have a good iron content try and add these kinds of food to your diet. Try something new every week.

    But the clincher is this it will always require patience and willpower. You didn't get to 260lbs overnight and you won't lose it overnight. And you will have to include some measure of self control no one can do this for you but you.

    Think of alternative to butter on you potato for example it could be grated cheese, reduced fat sour cream, baked beans (the Brits love their jacket potatoes with baked beans) chilli (home made) or just go for less butter ( gasps! Yeah I said it!).

    Good luck, you can do this!
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    I would start simple. Eat what you like just not the amounts you like and do your best to stay in the calorie goal MFP gives you.

    Stop giving yourself extras. No extra butter or roll or salad dressing. Baked potatoes taste a lot better when slathered with 3-4 T of butter, but that is 240-320 extra calories you really don't need. Use portion control. Yeah, it's horrible to see how small a serving of butter is, but you can adapt.
  • goodasgoldilox165
    goodasgoldilox165 Posts: 333 Member
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    I agree with the advice you have been given here. If you want to succeed in the long term - make small changes that you can live with.

    Losing weight:
    Counting calories rather than cutting out food groups sounds likely to work best for you.
    On eating out:
    Work out what you are going to eat at the restaurant before you go there. Order just that. (Get a menu and make a selection that fits in with your calorie goal for the day.) Have butter on your potato - but count the calories for it. Have chips - but count the calories.

    This would help you lose weight.

    Making your diet healthy
    - i.e. more whole foods/more veg/lean meat etc.
    This is a good thing, but not always connected to losing weight. Healthy foods have many calories too and you can still eat too much of them.
    Aim to make small changes - just a little more veg - just a bit more wholemeal. Small changes count and they are much easier to stick to.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    After a lifetime of failure you are going to diet the way you always have? That's insanity. I think you need to stop denying or rather compartmentalizing your pleasures. Make every meal a pleasure.

    No more diets for you.

    I want you to read Habit by Duhigg and buy the handbook, Living A Healthy Life With Chronic Conditions.

    https://www.bullpub.com/catalog/Living-a-Healthy-Life-with-Chronic-Conditions-4th-Edition

    I know this sounds a little bossy but my heart breaks thinking you are heading for another round of failure. I am in my fifties, too, and once I broke out of my old pattern, a whole world of opportunities opened up. Like climbing mountains. Literally.
  • dragon_girl26
    dragon_girl26 Posts: 2,187 Member
    edited November 2016
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    150poundsofme wrote: »
    Thank you for your suggestions. I am 59 years old. The reason I say no to a baked potato is because I have it with butter and then ask usually for extra butter. I love the butter. I do not like a baked potato plain.
    If I diet and eat what I like, it would be all carbs. I am not the best of cooks. I can make salmon croquettes (burger) with canned salmon. I use very little oil. I do like it and don't know why I hardly ever make it. I had a recipe using chicken thighs. It took me about an hour to take off all the fat before I cooked it. I do have tons of recipes and know there are a zillion on-line. I will have to make it a priority to learn to cook a few dishes with chicken and meat that I like. I really do appreciate your thoughts. You just might be that push I need. Thank you.

    I'm not the biggest fan of plain baked potatoes either. Luckily, butter is not the only topping choice if you have trouble moderating it. Have you tried a dollop of plain Greek yogurt on it? It's almost like sour cream..I can't tell that much of a difference honestly. Other options like salsa, cottage cheese, etc, are good choices. Try experimenting and see what could work for you! You might find something you like even better. I haven't put butter on a baked potato in years, and I used to be a die hard.
    Not that I'm saying butter is bad, but a lot of it is high in calories for little payoff..
    I guess what I'm trying to say overall is that a good diet shouldn't be limiting. In fact, since I started losing weight 3 years ago, I've actually increased the variety of foods that I eat. I have also found lower calorie options that I love almost as much as the original high calorie versions. Eating shouldn't be a sad exercise in punishment just because we're overweight. Make it a learning experience and an adventure. It really is all about trial and error.
  • workinonit1956
    workinonit1956 Posts: 1,043 Member
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    They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I hear you, and can identify with all you wrote, OP. My advice would be to forget the rhetoric and take to heart what the others above have suggested. Put your stats in here and then just eat what you like up to your calorie limit. Nothing more, nothing less for say, 6 weeks. There are truly no "diet foods" or "bad foods"-- there is absolutely no need to torture yourself. Take that leap of faith, because if you are honest with it, it works. I'm older, short and 10 years past menopause and I'm losing and shrinking every week--and enjoying the process! Best of luck to you:)
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
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    OP, I should mention, and forgot to, that I'm 54 years old. As of this morning, I've lost 94 pounds by eating foods I like in smaller portions.

    I eat nutritious foods because I find them filling. You can still have butter, just have less of it. You can still have potatoes, just select smaller ones.

    I've dieted for 40 years. My mother put me on my first diet when I was 135 pounds in 8th grade.

    This morning I weighed in at 116.4.

    If I had posted here 20 or 30 years ago, I would have sounded like you. There is so much misinformation out there surrounding foods and dieting that it makes your head spin. You're bombarded by it in the news, in magazines, and even just seeing headlines in the grocery store check out.

    Forget all of it.

    Losing weight is as simple as eating less calories than your body burns during a day. Feeling satisfied while you diet and being nourished are separate matters and should affect food choice. You can balance your nutritional needs with your inner child by choosing lean protein, plenty of vegetables and fruits, and still have some room left for an occasional indulgence -- all while losing weight.

  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
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    Whenever I am on a diet, I would try to only eat healthy foods (or what I deem to be healthy). When on a binge, the unhealthiest (carbs) in the largest amounts possible. When I would cook at home and am on a diet, I would always eliminate the salt and butter thinking that it was unhealthy to add them in. Because I do not have an in-between normal eating the food has always been diet healthy food or binge unhealthy food. The thing is I have been doing this my whole life. There are time, just about all the time, when I have to eat, the need and desire to eat or stuff myself, non stop. That is why, I believe, for me, that I cannot keep breads, pasta, cheeses etc. in the house because when I get that feeling to binge, those foods would be too readily available. So I have always restricted food when I am on a diet. I always feel like I know how to lose weight (and I succeed until the binge monster strikes), eating light and if I do the 1 "carb" a day rule, then everything else falls into place because I don't overeat anything else. I feel it is when I keep on making exceptions to this 1 carb a day rule that eventually I binge. Maybe I can handle the one carb but maybe when I start eating two or three carbs, the sugar maybe gives me the eating non stop feeling again. I understand what you are saying - nothing is off limits and to eat in moderation. But it is tough. For instance here is an example that happened like 15 year ago. I was at an event. I was dieting. I had one bagel. Later on that day we went to a town fair. The whole rest of the day I kept thinking about wanting another bagel, I should have had another bagel. Most times once I start eating something that I really enjoy (unhealthy foods - bread, candy, pasta etc., I cannot stop at one portion. Once I start I have to finish the rest of the M&M's in the bowl or eat all of the bread in the basket. That is why I feel I have to and have always restricted what I can eat; because I can't stop and I can't stop thinking about wanting more of it. I definitely have a food disorder. I have been to a few therapists who do not understand what I am going through because they haven't been through it. One therapist sometimes would offer some suggestions. The last time I saw her, I don't see her anymore, she told me to do the 500 calorie a day, every other day and then eat whatever I want the rest of the days. She thought that would help me because it would allow me to continue binging. I know that was not a good suggestion.

    All your suggestions and ideas are great, the book recommendations and that video is hilarious.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
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    Bread, pasta, cheese, etc are not unhealthy.
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
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    Try reading The Beck Diet Solution. It's a cognitive behavioral therapy approach.

    You could go low carb, as some people with insulin resistance seem to experience what you describe, but I think you have deeper issues and low-carbing would only be putting a band aid on your problems. I think it would do you better in the long run to address your problems and try solving them.

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