How to be selfish, but not mean
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Eat out, no food in the house for her to steal. How's that for selfish?0
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Chef_Barbell wrote: »Eff outta here. Tell her if she can't stop eating your food she can get the eff out. But that would be me and what I would do. What does your boyfriend say?
My boyfriend is just as frustrated. It's a hard situation because she gets just as angry at him, and meaner. But he agrees that we need to get a mini fridge and find a way to hide it.0 -
Can you buy food that she will like even better, so she'll eat that instead? Make yours the "boring" food that she won't want in comparison to the other stuff LOL
Even better, if she still eats your stuff and not the super yummy special stuff you bought her, you can get all passive aggressive and hurt.0 -
OhReally42 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »Eff outta here. Tell her if she can't stop eating your food she can get the eff out. But that would be me and what I would do. What does your boyfriend say?
My boyfriend is just as frustrated. It's a hard situation because she gets just as angry at him, and meaner. But he agrees that we need to get a mini fridge and find a way to hide it.
Going back to fundamentals here. Why is she living with you? Why doesn't she do her own shopping? Does she contribute to the household financially or otherwise? Can you ask her to move out? Seems like that would be a good solution if both of you are frustrated with her, acknowledging that this may not be possible as she's family. This is not something I'd put up with from someone living in my house and not contributing in some large way
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OhReally42 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »Eff outta here. Tell her if she can't stop eating your food she can get the eff out. But that would be me and what I would do. What does your boyfriend say?
My boyfriend is just as frustrated. It's a hard situation because she gets just as angry at him, and meaner. But he agrees that we need to get a mini fridge and find a way to hide it.
She should find her own place if she wants to have an opinion about stuff she doesn't pay for. :noway:
You shouldn't have to live like that in your own damn house.7 -
OhReally42 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »Eff outta here. Tell her if she can't stop eating your food she can get the eff out. But that would be me and what I would do. What does your boyfriend say?
My boyfriend is just as frustrated. It's a hard situation because she gets just as angry at him, and meaner. But he agrees that we need to get a mini fridge and find a way to hide it.
Going back to fundamentals here. Why is she living with you? Why doesn't she do her own shopping? Does she contribute to the household financially or otherwise? Can you ask her to move out? Seems like that would be a good solution if both of you are frustrated with her, acknowledging that this may not be possible as she's family. This is not something I'd put up with from someone living in my house and not contributing in some large way
All... Of... This.5 -
She's been saying since the beginning of the year that she's going to move and just never does. She has money to buy her own food, she honestly has more money than we do, she just doesn't manage her money in a good way. The only bill she contributes to is her half of the rent, but not utilities. My bf just tried to talk to her in a civilized conversation and she got mad saying "at least we get to eat today". Ive unfortunately resorted to counted slices of bread and numbers of eggs and I know she's lying. I feel like this is so petty but it's been 3 years of fighting over food and it's becoming more and more stressful0
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OhReally42 wrote: »She's been saying since the beginning of the year that she's going to move and just never does. She has money to buy her own food, she honestly has more money than we do, she just doesn't manage her money in a good way. The only bill she contributes to is her half of the rent, but not utilities. My bf just tried to talk to her in a civilized conversation and she got mad saying "at least we get to eat today". Ive unfortunately resorted to counted slices of bread and numbers of eggs and I know she's lying. I feel like this is so petty but it's been 3 years of fighting over food and it's becoming more and more stressful
I would then reevaluate the relationship. This doesn't get better.2 -
I posted a piece of paper on the fridge and told her to write down things we need to pick up for food and other groceries and even though it's as simple as using the pen attached to the paper she refuses to do that too.0
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My boyfriend and I haven't fought about it, but him and his mom and me and his mom.0
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I am taking care of my brother. I have a do not touch shelf in the fridge. He eventually complied.2
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You've got some tough choices to make, and not just about food. An adult woman that lives with her son & his girlfriend...can't kick in for groceries, wont respect your boundaries, and calls you mean for trying to establish reasonable boundaries. RED FLAGS!
Trust me...I have a nightmare for a mother-in-law. Based on my experience - it will always be about her and what she wants, with zero consideration for you.
Decide now what you can live with, and what you can't. Draw the line and stick with it. Otherwise she will continue to walk all over you.OhReally42 wrote: »My boyfriend and I haven't fought about it, but him and his mom and me and his mom.
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OhReally42 wrote: »She's been saying since the beginning of the year that she's going to move and just never does. She has money to buy her own food, she honestly has more money than we do, she just doesn't manage her money in a good way. The only bill she contributes to is her half of the rent, but not utilities. My bf just tried to talk to her in a civilized conversation and she got mad saying "at least we get to eat today". Ive unfortunately resorted to counted slices of bread and numbers of eggs and I know she's lying. I feel like this is so petty but it's been 3 years of fighting over food and it's becoming more and more stressful
She is not contributing equally to the household even though she could. She is causing conflict and using you guys financially apparently for 3 years. Enough. It is time for the two of you to help her find a place of her own.2 -
Extreme solution - do you guys own your home or are you renting? If you're renting, can you move? I had friends who had to do this to get away from her brother, who had moved in. He just wouldn't go, and he was a pig to live with. They found another place, told him they were moving so he would either have to stay and pay all the rent himself, or find new digs. It was a hassle, and extreme, but it worked.6
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Clearly the situation is extremely complex and tense, but if it were me and money not an issue, I'd just buy more food. If you're already able to hide dry foods, that's at least a partial win.
Here's something, though. If your special PCOS diet requires nutritious, whole foods for example, and someone else in the house enjoys eating that, too, is that such a bad thing?1 -
Clearly the situation is extremely complex and tense, but if it were me and money not an issue, I'd just buy more food. If you're already able to hide dry foods, that's at least a partial win.
Here's something, though. If your special PCOS diet requires nutritious, whole foods for example, and someone else in the house enjoys eating that, too, is that such a bad thing?
If it's causing them financial strain I would say yes. No one should have to live like that in their own house. Gtfoh.0 -
OhReally42 wrote: »My boyfriend and I haven't fought about it, but him and his mom and me and his mom.
Yet. He need to balls up and stand up to his mom. Tell her to stop the bullcrap or get the eff out. That simple. Unless of course you enjoy being a doormat.0 -
Chef_Barbell wrote: »Clearly the situation is extremely complex and tense, but if it were me and money not an issue, I'd just buy more food. If you're already able to hide dry foods, that's at least a partial win.
Here's something, though. If your special PCOS diet requires nutritious, whole foods for example, and someone else in the house enjoys eating that, too, is that such a bad thing?
If it's causing them financial strain I would say yes. No one should have to live like that in their own house. Gtfoh.
The situation is a bit ludicrous to me. Financial strain feeding a house guest - surely they didn't think she just wouldn't eat? Also curious what this special diet food is, where his mother is okay to eat everything else but not this. We talking milk, eggs and celery, here?
More options: OP buys food in the plain variety that others don't want to eat. Plain yogurt, plain cottage cheese, plain whole wheat bread. I even did a "carrot pudding" desert that no one else would touch whenever I made it. Not saying any of these are PCOS diet friendly, as I don't know what those foods are. Just an idea in theory
OP could also lick the foods in front of bf's mother before storing them in the fridge
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Chef_Barbell wrote: »Clearly the situation is extremely complex and tense, but if it were me and money not an issue, I'd just buy more food. If you're already able to hide dry foods, that's at least a partial win.
Here's something, though. If your special PCOS diet requires nutritious, whole foods for example, and someone else in the house enjoys eating that, too, is that such a bad thing?
If it's causing them financial strain I would say yes. No one should have to live like that in their own house. Gtfoh.
The situation is a bit ludicrous to me. Financial strain feeding a house guest - surely they didn't think she just wouldn't eat? Also curious what this special diet food is, where his mother is okay to eat everything else but not this. We talking milk, eggs and celery, here?
More options: OP buys food in the plain variety that others don't want to eat. Plain yogurt, plain cottage cheese, plain whole wheat bread. I even did a "carrot pudding" desert that no one else would touch whenever I made it. Not saying any of these are PCOS diet friendly, as I don't know what those foods are. Just an idea in theory
OP could also lick the foods in front of bf's mother before storing them in the fridge
Because the guest is not contributing at all financially to the house is the big picture. You would let someone stay in your house rent free, not contribute anything and run it? :noway:
Being accommodating to someone like that is just letting them walk all over you.1
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