Newb here. Looking to loose 165lbs and need advice.

OColby

Hi everyone. Wow so sorry. I wrote a huge thing and it didn't post it. Anyway, I'm Joy 25 and from a small town in NH. So I'm shy as all hell, been bullied my entire life am at the end of crule jokes as an adult woman. I need to loose 165lbs for me. I've been putting everyone else first and it's time I put me first. I get really discouraged honestly when it comes to it. I've asked everyone I know for help and they look at my goal and are like yeah ok good luck and pat me on the head. I have really bad social anxiety so posting here is terrifying, to me. I can't go to the gym alone because I feel vulnerable and feel like I'm being judged. I get discouraged with the amount I have to loose and honestly don't know how, like I literally need someone to hold my hand because I will get off track and put it off. I want to be a success story not a she tried ten times and failed story, which is what I feel like right now. Any advice whatsoever is more than welcome.
I don't remember what else I wrote.

MomOnAMission2017

Take it one one day at a time, this journey is not easy but friends will help you Proud of you for being honest, and wanting to get healthy!!! Anything is possible, don't give up and keep pushing!!! Wishing you nothing but success along your journey

bobfernandes

Joy, Be yourself and take each day as they come. I'm currently trying to lose 186 pounds so I'm right with you. I go to the gym and I admit i feel out of place but what keeps me going is the idea that i can achieve the goal. It will take time, hard work and I will stumble here and there but I choose to not give up. Start small. Small changes to your eating habits and walks will do wonders. Gradually you will be able to make more changes and you'll see even more results. Remember, its a lifestyle change, not a diet. But my hope is that in the end, it will be all worth it!
Feel free to add me if you want!

laurens47

OColby wrote: »

Hi everyone. Wow so sorry. I wrote a huge thing and it didn't post it. Anyway, I'm Joy 25 and from a small town in NH. So I'm shy as all hell, been bullied my entire life am at the end of crule jokes as an adult woman. I need to loose 165lbs for me. I've been putting everyone else first and it's time I put me first. I get really discouraged honestly when it comes to it. I've asked everyone I know for help and they look at my goal and are like yeah ok good luck and pat me on the head. I have really bad social anxiety so posting here is terrifying, to me. I can't go to the gym alone because I feel vulnerable and feel like I'm being judged. I get discouraged with the amount I have to loose and honestly don't know how, like I literally need someone to hold my hand because I will get off track and put it off. I want to be a success story not a she tried ten times and failed story, which is what I feel like right now. Any advice whatsoever is more than welcome.
I don't remember what else I wrote.

You already said what you need to do!!! Put yourself first. Give a damn about yourself. Take it day by day, learn and educate yourself. This is a great support network for people! This site allows you to be accountable as well. Also, losing over 100 lbs isn't impossible. I have lost over 100 lbs. You can do it! Best of luck!

Cheyannesdaddy

It's all about taking lots of baby steps. Focus on the process and let the results take care of themselves. Rembember, we are all on the same journey.

staceymsavage

Good for you for taking the first step! Being here is a great accomplishment already!
Once thing I have noticed for myself personally - when I look at the big goal only, I get overwhelmed and it can be easy to give up or think "I'll never make it".

You should try and switch your mindset to focus on smaller milestones, and when you hit those milestones, CELEBRATE them! Don't be afraid to be proud of yourself for the little things you're accomplishing!

Take it one day at a time, and don't beat yourself up too much if you make a small misstep along the way, you're human. Just get back on track and keep moving forward.
And surround yourself with people who provide you with positive energy and encouragement.

Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like - I'm happy to chat with you along the way as I've started & stopped several times over and am really looking to get accountable for my food choices and create a healthier lifestyle for myself.

Best of Luck! You can do anything you set your mind to!

MyHousecatDaytona

Im from southern California. I'm a Christian , and a stay at home mom . Feel free to add me .

Misnomer971

I'm also relatively new to this, but I absolutely second the "one day at a time" advice: we both have a lot of weight (100+ pounds) to lose, and it's important to regularly remind ourselves that it is NOT going to happen overnight. I've just recently been able to start wrapping my mind around the fact that it could take me over a year to get to where I want to be -- but that it's ok.

I have trouble going to gyms, too. In fact, the exercise part of all of this is definitely my weakest link! Not everyone has the space or money for this, but I put a simple treadmill in my spare bedroom (not gym-quality, but with some basic features). I'll be honest: it took me over a year to start using it. But I didn't let myself cover it with clothes or boxes or anything, and once I was ready it was there. I recently bought a dumbbell set, and it seems like the same thing is happening: I haven't started using it yet, but when I'm ready to it will be there. Baby steps.

One last thing: I've set a series of goals for myself, the first of which is to lose 41 pounds (to have my weight start with a "1" for the first time I can remember) and the second is to lose 70 pounds (to take my BMI from the "obese" range down to the "overweight" range). When I mentioned the second one to my therapist -- who I engaged specifically to help with my weight loss -- he recommended breaking big goals down into more attainable smaller ones. "I need to lose 70 pounds" can be intimidating and feel impossible, but if you think "I need to lose 10 pounds seven times" or even "I need to lose 7 pounds ten times" it feels a bit more realistic. That may not work for everyone, but I find that it's helping me stay motivated.

Best of luck!!

zorander6

Just remember that the tortoise wins this race. Slow and steady, there are no miracle pills. This isn't the matrix.

bg1science

I have been on and off MFP for years. One thing is for sure, when I commit myself to logging my food I lose weight. It also motivates you to workout when you know you're going to have something coming up when it will be hard to stay in caloric budget. This small commitment will be huge for you.

lunadakota12

Friend me and we can be accountability partners!! I'm restarting my journey and have 54 pounds to lose after having my son. Take it one day at a time and go at your pace

jadelois

10lb mini targets. So much more achievable and keep you motivated. I don't suffer with social anxiety but I have suffered with general anxiety and depression on occasion and its easy to forget just how worth it you are own these moments.
If theres a gym near you maybe see if you can do a pay as you go so you don't have to sign up if you then can't manage it but if not then use your bodyweight to your advantage for now and do all the gym based exercises using your bodyweight as resistance.
You have got this but its you that has all the power, take strength from others where you can but be true to yourself and you'll get there!
Also as a side note, don't cut calories drastically, the weight may come off more quickly but slow and steady 100% wins this race IMO.

Angiepeg

I'm on the same, long journey. I have lost over 90lbs of my 164lb goal in around 16 months. I have had help and support - we have Gymophobics here in the UK but I am not sure if you get this in the US. They don't judge, they tailor each workout to one's capabilities. If you can't get to a really supportive gym then try to get a few free weights, go online and learn how to use them. I use a recumbent exercise bike in my living room whilst watching tv. You will need to build up your exercise - don't kill yourself by over doing it. As for the diet - it's easy (not).
1. Log everything you eat and drink (watch out for the fizzy drinks and the lattes)
2. Portion control - get an 8 inch dinner plate (it's damn near impossible to pile it up). Someone told me that a red plate is best - apparently it works on the subconscious and one naturally eats less. Don't know about that!
3. Realise that some calories consumed actually take more energy to process by the body than others. Protein keeps you satisfied for longer. Carbs are not 'evil' but they do need to be eaten in moderation.
4. Start a written journal - Project You - on the first page write down your goals for the next six weeks. Make them achievable. Goals can be anything from the smallest thing to something you really want. Every day make a note of how you feel, what you have eaten and drunk, if you have managed to exercise. Anything at all - it's your journal - if you want to rail against the world, then do. At the end of the day, try to see what you have achieved. At the end of the six weeks, write down what you have accomplished. Give yourself a pat on the back and prepare for the next six weeks.
5. Think about what triggers your overeating - write it all down.

I know it is so hard to start and then it is even harder to keep going but, honestly, once you get into the habit of looking after yourself, it does become easier. You are worth the time and energy it takes to get fitter and healthier.

One other thing - don't let anyone tell you that you are being selfish by spending time on yourself or that you are not 'eating enough ' or that you look ill. Make sure that you are eating enough (My Fitness Pal can give you all the info you need there) and just ignore anyone trying to sabotage your life. If you have any medical issues then see your doctor before you begin.

I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you can find your own inner strength to succeed in your weight loss.

samm9581

Hi,


I can relate to your post and wondered if you wanted to be friends? I have about 150 to lose and just got started this week. I can relate to the bullying, etc.

I'm hoping to find just a small group of friends to build support.

Thanks!

ThreeLittleBalloons

Hey,

Firstly, well done for joining MFP and reaching out on the forums. It's hard to make that first step when you are the start of your journey but you are here so that is really important.

I never use gyms, I'm too shy and they are too expensive; I have just made it my mission to walk everywhere and that has really helped me. I might join some day but I'm in no rush. Just remember, even if you don't focus on the exercise at the beginning of your journey, it doesn't matter. They say that losing weight is 80% what you eat so you will still lose weight without it.

This site is brilliant but you have to be honest and log everything to really get the full benefits. It is honestly not as hard as you would think. I tend to sit down around 5ish and log everything from the morning/lunch and what I plan to eat for dinner. If I have anything else I go back and edit. It works better for me than going in all the time but whatever works for you is the right way to do it.

You can't focus on the big number or it will seem like a mountain you have to climb, focus on the mini goals - get down the next 10 pounds, or the next belt buckle or anything small and manageable. Every single pound is really impressive so celebrate your successes but don't punish yourself if it doesn't go as well as you had hoped. The weight loss journey is not a straight line downwards.

Read the success stories, read the NSV, be inspired by the amazing people on here. You can do this!

darkcowboy

one day at a time one foot in fron of the other and breathe you got this

GettingBackToIt88

OColby wrote: »

Hi everyone. Wow so sorry. I wrote a huge thing and it didn't post it. Anyway, I'm Joy 25 and from a small town in NH. So I'm shy as all hell, been bullied my entire life am at the end of crule jokes as an adult woman. I need to loose 165lbs for me. I've been putting everyone else first and it's time I put me first. I get really discouraged honestly when it comes to it. I've asked everyone I know for help and they look at my goal and are like yeah ok good luck and pat me on the head. I have really bad social anxiety so posting here is terrifying, to me. I can't go to the gym alone because I feel vulnerable and feel like I'm being judged. I get discouraged with the amount I have to loose and honestly don't know how, like I literally need someone to hold my hand because I will get off track and put it off. I want to be a success story not a she tried ten times and failed story, which is what I feel like right now. Any advice whatsoever is more than welcome.
I don't remember what else I wrote.

Hi Joy,

I've been there. I started my journey 6 years ago weighing over 300lbs. I lost 170 and kept 150lb off for 3years. This past year has been rough and I put 50lbs back on.. it's soo easy to fall back into bad habits. Anyhow, You are going to find out this is more of a mental journey than physical. Small changes add up to huge victories. You asked here is what I learned.

1. Take can't out of your vocabulary. Focus on positive thoughts instead of negative . eg.. I can't eat that because I'm on a diet... Change that too... I don't want that because it not going to help me reach my goal.

2. You can change your past you can change your future. You have been a victim... Choose to be your victor... Positive mind brings positive results. Don't let your insecurities, stop you! You can do anything you want to do. If you feel like someone in judging you.. So what.. You are doing something about it! We all have to start somewhere.

3. Don't lie to yourself. You are only hurting yourself.

4. To look at the whole picture is very overwhelming. Instead.. Make small REALISTIC attainable goals. Something you know you are going to reach. Again small goals add up to huge victories.
5. When I changed my eating.. I did it one meal.. one bad habit at a time. If you change all as once you are setting yourself up for failure. Again small changes......
6. This is not a diet its a lifestyle. You have to find a food plan that is right for you. We live in reality... We go out to eat have drinks. We need a life as well as being healthy. It's ok to indulge ( Cheating is a negative word) every once in a while.

Joy, those are my words of wisdom. You can and will do this! Who is going to stop you??????

silver1103

Hi I have to lose 30lbs and I would love an accountability partner. TIA

martn78

Good morning! Welcome and congratulations on taking that first step. This place is wonderful, and you meet some amazing people along the way to a healthy life. I am in the process of attempting to lose 200 pounds, so I know it can seem daunting. You have a wonderful attitude, and the one day at a time mantra is perfect. Best of luck to you, and everyone one else on this thread! We CAN do this. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!