Thanksgiving drama. Sigh.
Replies
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This content has been removed.
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littlemissbgiff wrote: »CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Damn did I just describe a wealthy lower fairfield county housewife
lol get out of CT its tainting your beliefs on real life outside of CT lol(kidding by the way)
Lol. It's not just in CT!! Former southern doormat here!
must be different than wv because a lot of the men here do what their women tell them to. not all of them of course. no joke either.but then again a lot of the women are doormats too and keep going from one doormat layer to another glad you are a former doormat though. sorry you went through that crap1 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I am sorry I should not have made a joke of it because there are real people like this and they have their reasons to stay put with the given conditions.kschwab0203 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Yes, ma'am.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I married my wife because she was HOT, she had a reputable career, she spells 100% immaculately which is a sign of her education, very good money manager, is very skilled at running the household and will be a great mother. And she is extremely faithful which is a big point in my list.tjones0411 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I don't give a *kitten* because thanksgiving is not part of my tradition.... but Christmas is and my family won't be here because I know there will be drama. Frankly, I think all wives are like this. They are selfish women and I say this in a nice, non-miso way.... they just up their b mode ten notches when husband's family enters the picture. So I guess this is normal and I have resolved not to piss myself off about it.... I try to focus my enjoyment on my bespoke clothes and upcoming bonus. My mother has everything she needs in her own house and I siphon enough funds so she is not left out there unattended... so even though I am apeshit about not spending Christmas with my mother in the house... I know she is well.
OP, you do whatever you want but know that you are building a tree of grievances inside your husband which will last for a long time and will manifest in other ways.
I'm sorry...what?? All wives are like this? That's not a stupid, over-generalized statement at all, is it? I can assure you all wives are not like this. I am surrounded by my husband's family - all year, whereas mine are more than 1,000 miles away. And I make sure to make the effort to be welcome and pleasant. Partially because they are now my family too...and also because that's just what you do!
OP - I think your husband was wrong to place the blame on you (even if you did say it) because I think spouses should have each other's backs and cover in situations like this. But in that same vein, you and he are partners...and if seeing his family is important to him, you should try to make the effort. You don't have to go and be all hugs and kisses, but you should be there for him and try to be pleasant. It's two days out of the entire year. And it's the holidays. Try not to be miserable about it.
Yeah. Not all wives are like this. And if you married one who is, you either weren't paying attention when you were dating or you overlooked it. Because selfish behavior doesn't magically show up overnight.
I did notice she was not very accommodating of my relationship to my mother but I ignored it because of the other qualities. I knew what I signed up for and I have made peace with the fact that there will be family drama.
But I do fret about it from time to time because I see other men who have these doormat wives and I wish I had that. But then, I wanted a strong, independent woman who I can rely on and it was my choice..... though a doormat wife is a nice fantasy lmao...
Is there really such thing as a doormat wife? Lol.
Like the guy cheats on you and even gives you STD's and you stay with him, take care of the kids, attend soul cycle to be in the best shape, hang out in Starbucks and panera with designer outfits with your other designer outfit girlfriends and pick up your cheating husband from the train station and take him home for a dinner that is waiting on the table
I was the doormat wife for 15 years! Tons of fun for my husband...for me , not so much! All of what you said^^^
Says the man who won't put out for his wife.
Just saying.0 -
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thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I am sorry I should not have made a joke of it because there are real people like this and they have their reasons to stay put with the given conditions.kschwab0203 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Yes, ma'am.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I married my wife because she was HOT, she had a reputable career, she spells 100% immaculately which is a sign of her education, very good money manager, is very skilled at running the household and will be a great mother. And she is extremely faithful which is a big point in my list.tjones0411 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I don't give a *kitten* because thanksgiving is not part of my tradition.... but Christmas is and my family won't be here because I know there will be drama. Frankly, I think all wives are like this. They are selfish women and I say this in a nice, non-miso way.... they just up their b mode ten notches when husband's family enters the picture. So I guess this is normal and I have resolved not to piss myself off about it.... I try to focus my enjoyment on my bespoke clothes and upcoming bonus. My mother has everything she needs in her own house and I siphon enough funds so she is not left out there unattended... so even though I am apeshit about not spending Christmas with my mother in the house... I know she is well.
OP, you do whatever you want but know that you are building a tree of grievances inside your husband which will last for a long time and will manifest in other ways.
I'm sorry...what?? All wives are like this? That's not a stupid, over-generalized statement at all, is it? I can assure you all wives are not like this. I am surrounded by my husband's family - all year, whereas mine are more than 1,000 miles away. And I make sure to make the effort to be welcome and pleasant. Partially because they are now my family too...and also because that's just what you do!
OP - I think your husband was wrong to place the blame on you (even if you did say it) because I think spouses should have each other's backs and cover in situations like this. But in that same vein, you and he are partners...and if seeing his family is important to him, you should try to make the effort. You don't have to go and be all hugs and kisses, but you should be there for him and try to be pleasant. It's two days out of the entire year. And it's the holidays. Try not to be miserable about it.
Yeah. Not all wives are like this. And if you married one who is, you either weren't paying attention when you were dating or you overlooked it. Because selfish behavior doesn't magically show up overnight.
I did notice she was not very accommodating of my relationship to my mother but I ignored it because of the other qualities. I knew what I signed up for and I have made peace with the fact that there will be family drama.
But I do fret about it from time to time because I see other men who have these doormat wives and I wish I had that. But then, I wanted a strong, independent woman who I can rely on and it was my choice..... though a doormat wife is a nice fantasy lmao...
Is there really such thing as a doormat wife? Lol.
Like the guy cheats on you and even gives you STD's and you stay with him, take care of the kids, attend soul cycle to be in the best shape, hang out in Starbucks and panera with designer outfits with your other designer outfit girlfriends and pick up your cheating husband from the train station and take him home for a dinner that is waiting on the table
I was the doormat wife for 15 years! Tons of fun for my husband...for me , not so much! All of what you said^^^
Says the man who won't put out for his wife.
Just saying.
Wait...Collar doesn't put out?1 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I am sorry I should not have made a joke of it because there are real people like this and they have their reasons to stay put with the given conditions.kschwab0203 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Yes, ma'am.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I married my wife because she was HOT, she had a reputable career, she spells 100% immaculately which is a sign of her education, very good money manager, is very skilled at running the household and will be a great mother. And she is extremely faithful which is a big point in my list.tjones0411 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I don't give a *kitten* because thanksgiving is not part of my tradition.... but Christmas is and my family won't be here because I know there will be drama. Frankly, I think all wives are like this. They are selfish women and I say this in a nice, non-miso way.... they just up their b mode ten notches when husband's family enters the picture. So I guess this is normal and I have resolved not to piss myself off about it.... I try to focus my enjoyment on my bespoke clothes and upcoming bonus. My mother has everything she needs in her own house and I siphon enough funds so she is not left out there unattended... so even though I am apeshit about not spending Christmas with my mother in the house... I know she is well.
OP, you do whatever you want but know that you are building a tree of grievances inside your husband which will last for a long time and will manifest in other ways.
I'm sorry...what?? All wives are like this? That's not a stupid, over-generalized statement at all, is it? I can assure you all wives are not like this. I am surrounded by my husband's family - all year, whereas mine are more than 1,000 miles away. And I make sure to make the effort to be welcome and pleasant. Partially because they are now my family too...and also because that's just what you do!
OP - I think your husband was wrong to place the blame on you (even if you did say it) because I think spouses should have each other's backs and cover in situations like this. But in that same vein, you and he are partners...and if seeing his family is important to him, you should try to make the effort. You don't have to go and be all hugs and kisses, but you should be there for him and try to be pleasant. It's two days out of the entire year. And it's the holidays. Try not to be miserable about it.
Yeah. Not all wives are like this. And if you married one who is, you either weren't paying attention when you were dating or you overlooked it. Because selfish behavior doesn't magically show up overnight.
I did notice she was not very accommodating of my relationship to my mother but I ignored it because of the other qualities. I knew what I signed up for and I have made peace with the fact that there will be family drama.
But I do fret about it from time to time because I see other men who have these doormat wives and I wish I had that. But then, I wanted a strong, independent woman who I can rely on and it was my choice..... though a doormat wife is a nice fantasy lmao...
Is there really such thing as a doormat wife? Lol.
Like the guy cheats on you and even gives you STD's and you stay with him, take care of the kids, attend soul cycle to be in the best shape, hang out in Starbucks and panera with designer outfits with your other designer outfit girlfriends and pick up your cheating husband from the train station and take him home for a dinner that is waiting on the table
I was the doormat wife for 15 years! Tons of fun for my husband...for me , not so much! All of what you said^^^
Says the man who won't put out for his wife.
Just saying.
Wait...Collar doesn't put out?
He's too busy telling white women on here how hot they are to give it to his own wife who, according to him, is HOT. Then complains about her. He probably subconciously realizes white men hit on her online all day too.
My guess is that they both realized they married a human, and not a fantasy of a human.
His public complaining says nothing about her or about him.
When someone says they are in a difficult marriage, some have said that is redundant. If you are married long enough, you are in a difficult marriage. And if you divorce to remarry, it's just a matter of time before you are in a difficult marriage. Because marriage is not for sissies.
The key is to be happy anyway. And put out.
Edited to add: a lot. Put out a lot.3 -
@Francl27No. I work on Thanksgiving. I specifically ask them to put me on the schedule.
Take an entry level, no experience required job at a business that's open on holidays. Then you'll always have an excuse to get out of things like this.
Many ppl volunteer during the Holidays to help others... perhaps you could talk everyone (both families) into doing something this year to switch it up. It's never too late, they are always short of ppl and welcome any volunteers.
I don't know what type of facilities you have in your area, a local mission or whatever she has in hers? After serving or helping out everyone enjoys a nice visit and Thanksgiving meal with the rest of the volunteers.
It makes a person realize just how much we truly have in life to share.
It's a thought... it would certainly change up things with your Sis-in-Law, she may be working with others and have a very different attitude when you did sit down and visit with her later as you might as well. Same with you spending time with the Hubby in that way. The brothers could visit together...
I'm really quite excited thinking about the 4 of you doing it. :laugh:
Sorry I have such a vivid imagination I already see it happening and you haven't even read this post. 2 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I am sorry I should not have made a joke of it because there are real people like this and they have their reasons to stay put with the given conditions.kschwab0203 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Yes, ma'am.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I married my wife because she was HOT, she had a reputable career, she spells 100% immaculately which is a sign of her education, very good money manager, is very skilled at running the household and will be a great mother. And she is extremely faithful which is a big point in my list.tjones0411 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I don't give a *kitten* because thanksgiving is not part of my tradition.... but Christmas is and my family won't be here because I know there will be drama. Frankly, I think all wives are like this. They are selfish women and I say this in a nice, non-miso way.... they just up their b mode ten notches when husband's family enters the picture. So I guess this is normal and I have resolved not to piss myself off about it.... I try to focus my enjoyment on my bespoke clothes and upcoming bonus. My mother has everything she needs in her own house and I siphon enough funds so she is not left out there unattended... so even though I am apeshit about not spending Christmas with my mother in the house... I know she is well.
OP, you do whatever you want but know that you are building a tree of grievances inside your husband which will last for a long time and will manifest in other ways.
I'm sorry...what?? All wives are like this? That's not a stupid, over-generalized statement at all, is it? I can assure you all wives are not like this. I am surrounded by my husband's family - all year, whereas mine are more than 1,000 miles away. And I make sure to make the effort to be welcome and pleasant. Partially because they are now my family too...and also because that's just what you do!
OP - I think your husband was wrong to place the blame on you (even if you did say it) because I think spouses should have each other's backs and cover in situations like this. But in that same vein, you and he are partners...and if seeing his family is important to him, you should try to make the effort. You don't have to go and be all hugs and kisses, but you should be there for him and try to be pleasant. It's two days out of the entire year. And it's the holidays. Try not to be miserable about it.
Yeah. Not all wives are like this. And if you married one who is, you either weren't paying attention when you were dating or you overlooked it. Because selfish behavior doesn't magically show up overnight.
I did notice she was not very accommodating of my relationship to my mother but I ignored it because of the other qualities. I knew what I signed up for and I have made peace with the fact that there will be family drama.
But I do fret about it from time to time because I see other men who have these doormat wives and I wish I had that. But then, I wanted a strong, independent woman who I can rely on and it was my choice..... though a doormat wife is a nice fantasy lmao...
Is there really such thing as a doormat wife? Lol.
Like the guy cheats on you and even gives you STD's and you stay with him, take care of the kids, attend soul cycle to be in the best shape, hang out in Starbucks and panera with designer outfits with your other designer outfit girlfriends and pick up your cheating husband from the train station and take him home for a dinner that is waiting on the table
I was the doormat wife for 15 years! Tons of fun for my husband...for me , not so much! All of what you said^^^
Says the man who won't put out for his wife.
Just saying.
Wait...Collar doesn't put out?
He's too busy telling white women on here how hot they are to give it to his own wife who, according to him, is HOT. Then complains about her. He probably subconciously realizes white men hit on her online all day too.
My guess is that they both realized they married a human, and not a fantasy of a human.
His public complaining says nothing about her or about him.
When someone says they are in a difficult marriage, some have said that is redundant. If you are married long enough, you are in a difficult marriage. And if you divorce to remarry, it's just a matter of time before you are in a difficult marriage. Because marriage is not for sissies.
The key is to be happy anyway. And put out.
Edited to add: a lot. Put out a lot.
Whoa, I thought we were just picking on him.
0 -
Hearts_2015 wrote: »
@Francl27No. I work on Thanksgiving. I specifically ask them to put me on the schedule.
Take an entry level, no experience required job at a business that's open on holidays. Then you'll always have an excuse to get out of things like this.
Many ppl volunteer during the Holidays to help others... perhaps you could talk everyone (both families) into doing something this year to switch it up. It's never too late, they are always short of ppl and welcome any volunteers.
I don't know what type of facilities you have in your area, a local mission or whatever she has in hers? After serving or helping out everyone enjoys a nice visit and Thanksgiving meal with the rest of the volunteers.
It makes a person realize just how much we truly have in life to share.
It's a thought... it would certainly change up things with your Sis-in-Law, she may be working with others and have a very different attitude when you did sit down and visit with her later as you might as well. Same with you spending time with the Hubby in that way. The brothers could visit together...
I'm really quite excited thinking about the 4 of you doing it. :laugh:
Sorry I have such a vivid imagination I already see it happening and you haven't even read this post.
Lol. We have two kids though so I'm not sure it would work out! But I'd rather do that than to do Thanksgiving honestly (what can I say, I wasn't born a US citizen so it doesn't mean much to me anyway).0 -
thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I am sorry I should not have made a joke of it because there are real people like this and they have their reasons to stay put with the given conditions.kschwab0203 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Yes, ma'am.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I married my wife because she was HOT, she had a reputable career, she spells 100% immaculately which is a sign of her education, very good money manager, is very skilled at running the household and will be a great mother. And she is extremely faithful which is a big point in my list.tjones0411 wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
I don't give a *kitten* because thanksgiving is not part of my tradition.... but Christmas is and my family won't be here because I know there will be drama. Frankly, I think all wives are like this. They are selfish women and I say this in a nice, non-miso way.... they just up their b mode ten notches when husband's family enters the picture. So I guess this is normal and I have resolved not to piss myself off about it.... I try to focus my enjoyment on my bespoke clothes and upcoming bonus. My mother has everything she needs in her own house and I siphon enough funds so she is not left out there unattended... so even though I am apeshit about not spending Christmas with my mother in the house... I know she is well.
OP, you do whatever you want but know that you are building a tree of grievances inside your husband which will last for a long time and will manifest in other ways.
I'm sorry...what?? All wives are like this? That's not a stupid, over-generalized statement at all, is it? I can assure you all wives are not like this. I am surrounded by my husband's family - all year, whereas mine are more than 1,000 miles away. And I make sure to make the effort to be welcome and pleasant. Partially because they are now my family too...and also because that's just what you do!
OP - I think your husband was wrong to place the blame on you (even if you did say it) because I think spouses should have each other's backs and cover in situations like this. But in that same vein, you and he are partners...and if seeing his family is important to him, you should try to make the effort. You don't have to go and be all hugs and kisses, but you should be there for him and try to be pleasant. It's two days out of the entire year. And it's the holidays. Try not to be miserable about it.
Yeah. Not all wives are like this. And if you married one who is, you either weren't paying attention when you were dating or you overlooked it. Because selfish behavior doesn't magically show up overnight.
I did notice she was not very accommodating of my relationship to my mother but I ignored it because of the other qualities. I knew what I signed up for and I have made peace with the fact that there will be family drama.
But I do fret about it from time to time because I see other men who have these doormat wives and I wish I had that. But then, I wanted a strong, independent woman who I can rely on and it was my choice..... though a doormat wife is a nice fantasy lmao...
Is there really such thing as a doormat wife? Lol.
Like the guy cheats on you and even gives you STD's and you stay with him, take care of the kids, attend soul cycle to be in the best shape, hang out in Starbucks and panera with designer outfits with your other designer outfit girlfriends and pick up your cheating husband from the train station and take him home for a dinner that is waiting on the table
I was the doormat wife for 15 years! Tons of fun for my husband...for me , not so much! All of what you said^^^
Says the man who won't put out for his wife.
Just saying.
Wait...Collar doesn't put out?
He's too busy telling white women on here how hot they are to give it to his own wife who, according to him, is HOT. Then complains about her. He probably subconciously realizes white men hit on her online all day too.
My guess is that they both realized they married a human, and not a fantasy of a human.
His public complaining says nothing about her or about him.
When someone says they are in a difficult marriage, some have said that is redundant. If you are married long enough, you are in a difficult marriage. And if you divorce to remarry, it's just a matter of time before you are in a difficult marriage. Because marriage is not for sissies.
The key is to be happy anyway. And put out.
Edited to add: a lot. Put out a lot.
Whoa, I thought we were just picking on him.
So I guess no one read what I was actually saying (highlighted in bold).
His public complaining says nothing about her or about him.
Marriage can be difficult. That is what I was saying.
Let's say a person is single. What would they have to deal with? Drama at work, having responsibilities for themselves, family issues, friendship issues, [insert whatever mental issue/insecurity people have], plus the ups and downs of the day, month, year.
Now that single person gets married, and now they deal with the same issues, plus the ups and downs of the other person dealing with all those things, plus the responsibilities of the relationship.
The wonderful thing about marriage is you have someone who gives a crap that you have whatever issue you are dealing with. And you have help for the practical issues and a shoulder to cry on for the emotional stuff and someone to laugh with and watch tv with and playfully argue over sports or if a hat looks silly or something. And someone to help pick you up off the ground when life knocks you to your knees. Someone who can pray for you when you are sick.
This is nothing to take lightly. The benefits are huge, the difficulties are real. That collar has difficulties in his marriage is not a negative on him or his wife, and remember he has plenty nice things to say about her.1 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I can't use this venue to vent because there is always that one person who ruins my party. I have never called anyone hot around here. I may have joked about it. I page Miss Q but if you read hard you can see we have like a sibling kind of friendship. I am going to say I am really upset right now and I am going to go away. This really got under my skin. You win.
There was no competition to win. I wasn't criticizing you. If you look carefully enough you'll realize I actually have your best interest at heart.1
This discussion has been closed.
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