Need Help!

CarriePogue

I'm a mom of 3, a wife and a holder of 2 jobs. My children are 19 (in the Army), 18 (a senior in hs) and a 10 year old. I'm a social, emotional and stress eater. I've lost 80lbs before by calorie counting and cardio. I know I can do this. I start strong and after about a week I lose my way. I can't stand myself right now. My weight consumes me. I hate looking in the mirror, having to pick out clothes or have pictures taken of me. The self loathing is real right now. My family and more importantly my husband love me. Through thick and thin, it doesn't matter that they think I'm beautiful and love me. I don't see what they see. It's horrible feeling this way. No one in my life knows how much I hate myself at the moment. I'm so over caring about my weight, just wish I could love myself but it's impossible. I see the pictures of my self when I lost all my weight and love her. I don't see that person anymore. I've lost her. I need help.... on so many levels. I know what I'm doing to myself. But doesn't seem to matter. I have control and then I don't. I just don't know what to do anymore. I wake up every morning and eat a healthy breakfast, even a healthy lunch but by the time dinner comes around I eat like I'm starving. Then after knowing what I did can't stand myself. This happens everyday. What is wrong with me?

cmriverside

Maybe there is something in your life that needs more attention - like from a therapist or counselor...

I didn't quit my negative behaviors without outside help.

There is a lot of support here, but in the end it is still about getting some good feelings going. To have self-loathing is no way for you to live. Do you think you are depressed? Life can become overwhelming at times, no shame in asking for help.

jbassaholic

I completely understand how you feel! This sounds like me to a tee! I care so much for others that exhaustion gets the best of me at the end of the day! I have made everyone else feel good and settled after a long day but myself. Recen6i have tried walking at night if you feel safe to do so. I listen to my phone and get out even if just for 20 minutes or so. Then I come home and take a nice hot shower. Try sipping on hot flavored tea instead of eating late at night. Sometimes having something in your hand is a hard habit to break! Good luck!

newmommy5292013

I have been in a similar situation. Here's a few tricks that have helped me:

1. Stock up on healthy snacks and foods. I love popcorn, so I keep bags of Skinny Pop around.
2. Post a picture of your "skinnier self" on the refrigerator as motivation.
3. Try eating 6 small meals as opposed to 3 traditional meals.
4. If I overeat, I try to do extra exercise, like walking around the block or bicep curls.

We all slip, but keep making as many good choices as you can.

LadyofValyria

I've been there. I actually was just there. All last year, I cried, because I knew people loved me, I just couldn't love myself. It was starting to get to me, and it might have messed up my relationships. However, I realized that all the changes I needed to make were things that didn't have to be made all at once. It's easier if you change one small thing until it's a habit and you don't even think about it anymore. Then change something else, and so on, and so on.

It does sound like you're becoming depressed, and you're not alone. The problem is: you may never have the motivation necessary to make some of these changes until you handle the depression. Talking to someone professional should not be seen as a negative. If you need it, you need it. I'm lucky enough to work with therapists, and dietitians, and doctors, so I can talk to them under the radar. I'll be the first to admit I'd be in the same boat still if I didn't use what they have to offer. It's important to take care of your mental/emotional health first, then use that motivation as a spring board to helping you with the physical battles.

Best of luck to you. You CAN do this.