The excuses have started

michelle_cranston
michelle_cranston Posts: 5 Member
edited November 13 in Motivation and Support
I am meant to be at a wedding tomorrow evening and have already started with my excuses. I'm not well, I'm at work the next day, I have nothing to wear... Reality is I have gained so much weight I am embarrassed. I lost 5 stone but have gained half and everyday is a struggle to stay on track. I have gained a stone this year and felt like I have been on a diet every day.

I need to give myself a good talking to!

:'(

Replies

  • michelle_cranston
    michelle_cranston Posts: 5 Member
    bebeisfit wrote: »
    Are you the bride? If not, and you have rsvp'd to attend, you need to go. Remember you are not the focus at this event, the 2 people getting married are the stars of the show and you are there to show love and support to that couple. As for being embarrassed, lots of folks have been where you are, and frankly most people won't notice.

    Go to the celebration, enjoy yourself, dance and toast the happy couple. Then the next day make a commitment to get a plan together, quit dieting and start eating more mindfully.

    I have been in your shoes more times than I care to admit. I have avoided a few events for that same reason and I've always regretted it. I've been up and down 50 pounds when I was in my 20's and 30's. I was a great dieter. But I always put the weight back on. Once I stopped that nonsense and just started eating less and moving more, the weight came off. It took me a long time to realize this and over the last couple of years I didn't always follow my plan, but I never went back to that mentality.

    Good luck - I hope you attend the wedding and have fun.

    I know I need to suck it up, however it's far easier to hide than put yourself out there. I need to remember days like this when I want to eat bad. Thanks.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    Hiding IS easier than putting yourself out there but easier doesn't always equal better. Plus, regardless of size I think we all have days we just want to hide and not be seen.

    Remember, you were invited to this wedding for YOU. Your company was requested by the couple getting married. Surely your invitation is not dependent on your current size or weight.

    Wear something you feel good in and is comfortable and go have a great time!
  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    Just go to the wedding. Do you think you are the only person there that isn't at his or her ideal weight? C'mon! And likely there are lots of people there with wrinkles and grey hairs and receding hairlines and varicose veins!

    The focus is really going to be on the happy couple more than you. You weren't invited based on your body weight---they want YOU!
  • HappyGrape
    HappyGrape Posts: 436 Member
    honestly nobody else cares about how much you weight. I never care about how much my friends weight, I love to see them because they are fun, smart, interesting, compassionate, great to be around.

    Go out and be great friend.

    you will deal with your weight after but generally focus on what keeps you healthy and happy. if you diet in way that you dread it, it is unlikely you will keep it off. As i learned the hard way...

    Make a firm plan to be always nice to yourself, and go for healthy but happy weight loss this time

    good luck

  • shellyld2016
    shellyld2016 Posts: 288 Member
    Go, enjoy the day, and celebrate the happy couple. Then get it together and do this!
  • sbrandt37
    sbrandt37 Posts: 403 Member
    You have done it before, so you know you can do it again. The challenge is sustaining it. The solution is to make small, sustainable lifestyle changes that lead to better health and well-being over the long term. Log every meal, every day. Aim for modest calorie deficits every day. Try to get some kind of physical activity every day. Eat less carbs and more protein and fiber whenever possible.

    One thing that is very helpful is to stop focusing on the weight goal and instead focus on all of the healthy choices that get you there. Every vegetable eaten, every dessert skipped, every step taken, every stair climbed, every workout, every day you meet your calorie target and every night you sleep well--every single one of those things is a success and a gift to yourself that contributes to your long-term health and well-being. Celebrate those successes!

    When you start thinking that way, it is easier to forgive yourself when things go in the wrong direction, because there is really nothing to forgive. All that happened is that for a while your short-term needs (satisfying cravings, meeting emotional needs, whatever) were more important to you than your long-term health goals (losing weight and becoming more healthy). That's ok! Maybe that's what you needed at the time. Or maybe you just ate more than you thought. Either way, it's not bad, it's just inconsistent with your long-term goals.

    So start today. Start logging your meals, start becoming more mindful of your eating, and start caring for yourself the way you deserve to be cared for! If you make these things a habit, the weight loss will happen naturally, you will feel better, and you will stay that way. You can do it!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    While I can completely understand and sympathize with how you feel, the fact is, you weren't invited because of your looks, you were invited because the pleasure of your company was desired. Please, go and be your wonderful self.
  • Serenade_N
    Serenade_N Posts: 152 Member
    You'll feel better for going in some way or other.
    At the moment fake it till you make it. While you decide what to wear, put some make up on, with some good tunes in the background-hit out all your favs-with an upbeat. Will yourself light and bright. Sometimes we don't believe that we can but you naturally can do this. You made a step by messaging here .... Have a great time gal!
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