Boyfriend thinks you can lose weight by...

Kendralh

Hi!

My boyfriend (who is wonderful and supportive) recently mentioned that he was getting a little "tubby" and wanted to start working out. I was ecstatic because it'd make my life easier and I could cook for both of us rather than making two things or making one compromising thing (kind of healthy, kind of not healthy, but definitely delicious).

Since then, he's seemed to not really like the healthy food I make, or dumps cheese all over it. This morning, he mentioned that he thinks that people who diet are confused, and I was totally taken aback (I don't really draw attention to my dieting, just make healthier choices most of the time and try to focus on moderation... maybe he thinks I just hate French fries or something). Turns out that he thinks that the only way to lose weight is by working out, and that if you work out you can eat whatever you want. He also thinks that the only reason to care about what you eat is to get the right nutrients (which I agree is important), and that everything you eat after what you need is a freebie (his favorite food is mac and cheese).

He was very athletic in high school, but drank a lot of beer in college and now has an adorable belly and has lost most of his muscle tone (he's 6'1", 215- all in the center)

He's pretty stubborn, sooooo I guess he'll figure it out on his own! Or spend like 4 hours in the gym every day.

Any chance any one has seen his method actually work? I personally need to do both in order to be successful at losing weight (or both in moderation to maintain).

Alatariel75

It's hard to out exercise a bad diet (meaning I can eat an extra 2000 calories far more easily than I can burn off an extra 2000 calories) but I'm kind of with him on the nutrient thing. If you're getting enough variety in your diet and getting the nutrition in, there's nothing wrong with some mac n cheese.

Kendralh

Alatariel75 wrote: »

It's hard to out exercise a bad diet (meaning I can eat an extra 2000 calories far more easily than I can burn off an extra 2000 calories) but I'm kind of with him on the nutrient thing. If you're getting enough variety in your diet and getting the nutrition in, there's nothing wrong with some mac n cheese.

Don't get me wrong, I love mac and cheese!! And beer. Haha.

I think he's really only aware of macros (mostly just protein); there's not a whole lot of (micro)nutrient dense foods that he'll eat, and he usually eats large portion sizes.

Men have higher caloric needs, though, maybe I'm just having a hard time not seeing it from a my-body-needs perspective!

Itsjakev

It could work! As long as he's eating below his maintenance calories

opaedas

Like someone else said, if you eat 1000 more calories than your body needs, have fun working that out. For example, he can try running that off by doing approx. 6.1 miles at a 10 minute mile (1.5hrs solid running) based on his current weight. I'd rather not eat the extra, cause I def wouldn't have time OR energy to work that off haha!! Also, of course, WHAT you eat matters in helping keep your body nutrient fed as well as being able to eat more volume of food for the same calories as less volume of junk food, and being able to feel more full and satisfied. I definitely wanna be able to eat more quantity of good stuff and have the occasional treat. It's so much harder to hit proper macros (protein, carbs, fat) w eating junk food and staying under the caloric goal for fat loss vs. eating cleaner foods and getting much closer to my goal and feeling more amazing to boot! (Crap food make me feel like crap, personally).

BUT, people get opinions in their head sometimes that no one can change. He will just see what does or doesn't happen if he keeps applying his theory there......some people don't wanna change badly enough ya know? Best wishes!!

Santeham

There are a few members of my family who think in a similar way. They seem to think that as long as food hasn't got a lot of sugar in it, then it's both healthy and slimming. My Nan will make a dish, with tons of sauce and half a pound of cheese grated over the top, and tell me I can eat as much as I want and will continue to loose weight.
I know it's slightly different to your situation, but my point is that some people just haven't educated themselves about weight loss, and don't seem to want to listen to those who have.
It's infuriating sometimes, but we have to love them anyway!

Kendralh

Santeham wrote: »

There are a few members of my family who think in a similar way. They seem to think that as long as food hasn't got a lot of sugar in it, then it's both healthy and slimming. My Nan will make a dish, with tons of sauce and half a pound of cheese grated over the top, and tell me I can eat as much as I want and will continue to loose weight.
I know it's slightly different to your situation, but my point is that some people just haven't educated themselves about weight loss, and don't seem to want to listen to those who have.
It's infuriating sometimes, but we have to love them anyway!

That sounds exactly right!!!
I think he's cute how he is anyway, haha.

Machka9

You can lose weight by exercising more ... I've done that.

You can lose weight by eating less ... I've done that.

You can lose weight by doing both ... I've done that too!


It all comes down to CI<CO.

chocolate_owl

I know some (younger) guys have been successful with this. I'm kind of in awe and pretty damn jealous of how many calories men can burn working out, and I've definitely heard from several fit men that if they work out every day they can eat whatever you want. But I also know men over 40 who work out HARD but have to be a lot more careful with what they eat - they can eat a lot, but they can't eat like they're in their 20s anymore. If he's successful, more power to him, but IMO it would be helpful if he learned a bit about calorie control somewhere along the way. It will probably be useful later in life.

ninerbuff

One loses weight by eating less than they burn. Regardless if they eat "healthy" or not. If he burns more than he eats with exercise, he'll lose weight. If he eats more than he burns, the opposite will happen even if he works out.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ElJefeChief

You can dump cheese on everything. You can eat candy for breakfast. You can have cheeseburgers every day. Stuff like that. Yes, macros are important (protein and vitamins are necessary!). Otherwise, it all just boils down to calories. Sure, you can run for 10 miles and get an extra thousand calories tacked on to your "buffer" for the day, but one slice of chocolate chip peanut butter cheesecake and that's gone.....

maimaihead

Your bf's logic sounds exactly like my bf's and then he goes to say I think you cursed me because you're over here losing weight when I'm gaining

thelovelyLIZ

You can't outrun your fork. He might see some benefits from the workout, but unless he's eating right it might not work. If you think he's not going to listen to sense I would just keep on your way and then let him see you shrink

ElevatedBeast

Abs are made in the gym, revealed in the kitchen.

You will always lose weight with a good diet, but you won't always look good unless you workout.

He needs to figure out his TDEE with exercise included and go from there.

ninerbuff

ElevatedBeast wrote: »

Abs are made in the gym, revealed in the kitchen.

You will always lose weight with a good diet, but you won't always look good unless you workout.

He needs to figure out his TDEE with exercise included and go from there.

I don't always agree with this. There are people who do physical labor work daily who don't gym, that have decent physiques.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

kenyonhaff

I think he might be living in the past... when you're in high school or college and doing athletics, it's not hard to keep fit even when dumping cheese on everything.

And then... true adulthood comes in. Metabolism drops a bit, it's no longer so easy to just do athletics, and so on.

The other big mistake is when people (usually men) try to take up the old college sports when trying to work out (again) later in life...typically by doing basketball, running, or the like when the body is not yet in good enough shape to handle it. Instead of working up to that by walking, weights, or other lower impact exercise, they tend to injure themselves and give up on exercise.

Chef_Barbell

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

It just angers me that there are women out there who cook for their men. My dear munchkin makes me do all the work. Where did I go wrong?

Your pimp hand isn't strong.

Kendralh

Chef_Barbell wrote: »

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

It just angers me that there are women out there who cook for their men. My dear munchkin makes me do all the work. Where did I go wrong?

Your pimp hand isn't strong.

Hahahahaha this is amazing.

ninerbuff

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

It just angers me that there are women out there who cook for their men. My dear munchkin makes me do all the work. Where did I go wrong?

You're whipped. Like me.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

schwest76

My husband thinks the same thing. He refuses to sacrifice what he likes for "diet food" and thinks working out will work; it's what he's done in the past and it worked for him then. I have to be somewhat strict on what I eat AND excercise just to lose weight (just watching food intake doesn't work for me). It's resulted in heated conversations but I just leave him alone now. When he's really ready to make any changes then he will. I love him how he is so it doesn't bother me but I know he isn't happy with his weight.

Chieflrg

I pretty much do what your bf does from what I read.

I'm 47, 6'3", 215 ish, 12% bf.

I literally ate 8-10k everyday and beyond this summer and only gained 12lbs. I'm retired from work, but I'm a active guy.

I don't eat "healthy" foods other than I stay away from frozen foods other than pizza or something along those lines.

Anyone can lose weight if they average eating in a deficit. Your bf can surely lose weight, but I suspect he should do some resistance training. There is more than one way for people to do this, so I would try to shed the idea that yours is the only way.