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Illnesses getting me down, partner wants me to stop losing weight.
DietVanillaCoke
Posts: 259 Member
So I've been really unwell for the past month =( I've only been able to stay up 4 - 6hours a day and I've been trying to get in at least 3 days of exercise a week. I've needed to take naps throughout the day or I fall asleep and I'm also very dizzy and forgetful and my headaches are almost everyday now.I'm getting my tonsils out in January, so I had some bloods done and I found out I have Factor V Leiden =( I'm pretty sad about it and I also found out that I'm still anemic, my white blood cell count is high and my lymph nodes are swollen and are working overtime and my thyroid hormones are low. Basically I feel like my body is dying and it's made me rather upset. The last time I was feeling this bad I started gaining weight rapidly, around 80lbs while battling and changing medications with doctor after doctor telling me something different.. and I don't want this to happen again, I'm already a good 110lbs overweight
I have a pretty cool GP now. He went right into trying to figure out what was wrong before giving me medication and so far I'm happy with what he's done. He's also supporting me in getting down to a healthy weight =D I'm determined to keep myself on track and get down to a healthy weight even with this going on.
Maybe I'm just stressed, or I have an infection (Probably my tonsils playing up). Either way it's been a rough past month. My GP is going to look further into everything once my tonsils are out and I'm 1month into my recovery.
I plan to keep coming here and logging my foods but my partner thinks I should stop everything until February but I really don't want to do this, we've had a few arguments about it and part of me thinks that he doesn't want me to lose the weight. I'd like to keep logging and eat between 1700 and maintenance but the arguments make it hard, I'm not sure what to say to my partner to make him happy.
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Replies
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I would eat at maintenance and just get enough rest and fluids until you get everything sorted out. exercising and dieting while having health issues is just stressing your body more. I would wait too/you can still log your food though if you want.if you eat at true maintenance you should not gain any weight.5
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1. Take care of your health first -- whatever that means, and you agree on that with your doctor. Slow weight loss to maintenance until February sounds fair to me as long as your GP doesn't object, but what do I know, I don't have a dog in this fight.
2. It is not your job to eat more or eat less or manage your food in any way to make your partner happy. Repeat this over and over until you believe it.
3. Nor is it your job to convince your partner that you are right and he is wrong (or allow him to convince you otherwise). Every disagreement doesn't have to be Thunderdome. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree.2 -
Something else to check out; sleep apnea. Some of your symptoms fit. Ask for a sleep test.2
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Have you spoken with your doctor about whether you should continue to watch your weight during this time ? I also would speak to him about how ill you've been this month.0
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Thanks for all the advice
My GP said i should keep aiming to lose slowly and keep work outs to a light walk and eat more red meat and fish, so I've taken that advice and I'm eating 3 serves of red meat per week, the other 4 nights i eat fish and I'm also taking B12, iron, Vc, Calcium and a fiber sup as well as a drink he referred me to have which people have in hospital... I think it's called sustigen. I have that in the morning with a Banana and 1 weetbix.
With the factor V lieden the chance of blood clots increases even more when you are obese, so my GP was pretty aggressive in telling me i need to take my weight loss more seriously now. I think with me being so tired i was more upset hearing my partner tell me to stop using MFP again but i think if i feel that losing is too much i'll still try to maintain as best as i can.
Thanks again for all the advice
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But you don't need to agressively exercise to lose weight, honestly I would continue with mfp and try to lose 1lb a week. You sound too tired and Ill to manage an exercise schedule right now.
There is no reason for you to abandon your healthy eating and weightloss right now when it is crucial to your health and well being. Your doctor has told you this.
I would be asking your partner why he is not supporting you in every way he can to help you in fact I would be questioning my relationship if I had a partner who wasn't supporting me in something so very important. I get he wants you to back off on the exercise and I can understand that as you don't sound physically up to it but you need to lose weight so why would you abandon your healthy eating?
Work with your doctor, continue to track and lose slow and steady tell your partner to get on board or back off either way he is nor helping you figure this out by telling you to just quit.
Go easy on yourself and good luck in sorting your health issues out.3 -
How is your nutrition? I don't want to judge solely by your breakfast, but I do wonder if you're eating real and nutritious food, or "diet food"? It seems with your various conditions, you do have to make the extra effort to ensure that the meals you consume are healthy and balanced, and support the healing of your body. A part of me wonders if that's what your partner is picking up on. A one pound deficit with a short walk, for instance, should still give you a lot of room to consume a healthy nutritious diet, and not just diet food. Hopefully my assumptions are totally wrong!0
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Eat between a small deficit & maintenance or maybe just at maintenance until you feel better and keep "workouts" to things like walking, stretching, gentle yoga, etc.
Eat highly nutritious foods - veggies, greens, fruit, natural whole real foods. Remember food isn't just about calories it's also your source of nutrients, vitamins, minerals, etc. Avoid processed food, junk food, candy etc.
Try to hit your macros (protein, carbs, fat) and fiber goals (found in your diary or main menu under "nutrition"). If you notice you're way over on one and way under on others make adjustments to your food choices.
Keep taking the supplements and medication your doctor has given you and following their advice.
Feel better!
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ALSO...
Have you seen an obgyn? I was severely anemic at one point due to some female health issues that caused excessive bleeding. If you're suffering from this please see a doctor for it and try to get it resolved. Or if that is not the cause then please find out what is- anemia can be caused by many things. Taking iron supplements is not a cure, it's just helping mitigate the damage. You need to find the source of the iron loss and fix it. It's like if you have a hole in a bucket- yes you can keep adding water to the bucket, but a better solution is to fix the leak. Unles the anemia is solely caused by poor diet, then diet changes may help, but if there is any cause other than that it must be addressed.
Don't take anemia lightly, just because it is common doesn't mean it's not a serious condition. For me it was actually quite debilitating & life threatening. It puts a lot of stress on the body and affects a lot of things- energy, sleep patterns, healing, mood... your body is basically chronically oxygen deprived because it can't create properly functioning red blood cells. When I was severely anemic I couldn't sleep well yet was always tired, every day tasks were more difficult, exercise was nearly impossible, I had anxiety and depression, I put on weight, and you know what? I had tonsil problems then too! I wonder if they are somehow related?? Never read that anywhere but they used to act up all the time when I was anemic and now that I'm better they hardly ever bother me and never as badly as back then. Might just be because anemia weakens the immune system? Interesting though...2 -
Had never heard of factor V lieden----now after reading your question on doing a bit more reading about the Factor V, losing weight is very important to help to decrease your chances of forming the unwanted blood clots or developing thrombosis.
Since your health risk is very high and it is difficult to get your Partner to understand, you're going to have to have "the talk", there is no cure for the Factor 5 and you have this, your partner does not.
How much weight are you needing to lose to reach a healthy weight?1 -
How is your nutrition? I don't want to judge solely by your breakfast, but I do wonder if you're eating real and nutritious food, or "diet food"? It seems with your various conditions, you do have to make the extra effort to ensure that the meals you consume are healthy and balanced, and support the healing of your body. A part of me wonders if that's what your partner is picking up on. A one pound deficit with a short walk, for instance, should still give you a lot of room to consume a healthy nutritious diet, and not just diet food. Hopefully my assumptions are totally wrong!
It's a lot better than it was a year ago. I didn't eat meat back then but I'm eating meat now. My diets pretty good I've been eating around 1600- 1700cals but my GP recommended 1200-1400cals which I tried for a few days back in September and decided to increase them. I'm eating enough Iron though i still go in for my b12 and Iron shots. I had one a few days ago and all of today I've felt amazing, so i think i may have been feeling weak due to the Anemia. Hopefully over the next few months I wont need the infusions anymore =D
My partner doesn't like me weighing and logging my foods as he thinks that it's "Too obsessive" and it's hard to explain to him why I do it as he's one of those people who can eat anything and never works out. So he compares what I'm doing to lose weight to his life style and it's just silly. I was hoping he'd use MFP just so he could get a rough idea on what i'm doing and why i do it.courtneyfabulous wrote: »ALSO...
Have you seen an obgyn? I was severely anemic at one point due to some female health issues that caused excessive bleeding. If you're suffering from this please see a doctor for it and try to get it resolved. Or if that is not the cause then please find out what is- anemia can be caused by many things. Taking iron supplements is not a cure, it's just helping mitigate the damage. You need to find the source of the iron loss and fix it. It's like if you have a hole in a bucket- yes you can keep adding water to the bucket, but a better solution is to fix the leak. Unles the anemia is solely caused by poor diet, then diet changes may help, but if there is any cause other than that it must be addressed.
Don't take anemia lightly, just because it is common doesn't mean it's not a serious condition. For me it was actually quite debilitating & life threatening. It puts a lot of stress on the body and affects a lot of things- energy, sleep patterns, healing, mood... your body is basically chronically oxygen deprived because it can't create properly functioning red blood cells. When I was severely anemic I couldn't sleep well yet was always tired, every day tasks were more difficult, exercise was nearly impossible, I had anxiety and depression, I put on weight, and you know what? I had tonsil problems then too! I wonder if they are somehow related?? Never read that anywhere but they used to act up all the time when I was anemic and now that I'm better they hardly ever bother me and never as badly as back then. Might just be because anemia weakens the immune system? Interesting though...
Mine got to the life threatening point 12 months ago where I needed a whole bunch of transfusions. I was on YAZ so that I wasn't having my periods (They didn't know I had Factor V Lieden at the time and YAZ mixed with that is a recipe for bloodclots >.<) and even with that I still had anemia.
It's a lot better than it was over a year ago. I didn't eat meat back then and I found out I was O Neg so i started donating blood as often as I could. One of the visits I was too low to donate so the nurse kept testing me over and over trying to get it to go into the okay range and it did. That was my last donation. I imagine donating and not getting enough Iron was the start of it and it's taken awhile to improve. My GP is pretty happy with where I'm at but we still need to sort out my Thyroid and The white blood cell count which could also be apart of me feeling weak.
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DietVanillaCoke wrote: »How is your nutrition? I don't want to judge solely by your breakfast, but I do wonder if you're eating real and nutritious food, or "diet food"? It seems with your various conditions, you do have to make the extra effort to ensure that the meals you consume are healthy and balanced, and support the healing of your body. A part of me wonders if that's what your partner is picking up on. A one pound deficit with a short walk, for instance, should still give you a lot of room to consume a healthy nutritious diet, and not just diet food. Hopefully my assumptions are totally wrong!
It's a lot better than it was a year ago. I didn't eat meat back then but I'm eating meat now. My diets pretty good I've been eating around 1600- 1700cals but my GP recommended 1200-1400cals which I tried for a few days back in September and decided to increase them. I'm eating enough Iron though i still go in for my b12 and Iron shots. I had one a few days ago and all of today I've felt amazing, so i think i may have been feeling weak due to the Anemia. Hopefully over the next few months I wont need the infusions anymore =D
My partner doesn't like me weighing and logging my foods as he thinks that it's "Too obsessive" and it's hard to explain to him why I do it as he's one of those people who can eat anything and never works out. So he compares what I'm doing to lose weight to his life style and it's just silly. I was hoping he'd use MFP just so he could get a rough idea on what i'm doing and why i do it.
Grr. So he's basically poo poo'ing your process because he doesn't like it. I would stop explaining the details on what you're doing and just let your balanced diet and results speak for themselves. Also, lots of people prelog their food and you could also measure out portions in advance. I hate to be such a wimp and not because you're scared or anything, I'd just recommend doing some of it around him as little as possible. I just hate to hear people whine and would rather not deal with it.courtneyfabulous wrote: »ALSO...
Have you seen an obgyn? I was severely anemic at one point due to some female health issues that caused excessive bleeding. If you're suffering from this please see a doctor for it and try to get it resolved. Or if that is not the cause then please find out what is- anemia can be caused by many things. Taking iron supplements is not a cure, it's just helping mitigate the damage. You need to find the source of the iron loss and fix it. It's like if you have a hole in a bucket- yes you can keep adding water to the bucket, but a better solution is to fix the leak. Unles the anemia is solely caused by poor diet, then diet changes may help, but if there is any cause other than that it must be addressed.
Don't take anemia lightly, just because it is common doesn't mean it's not a serious condition. For me it was actually quite debilitating & life threatening. It puts a lot of stress on the body and affects a lot of things- energy, sleep patterns, healing, mood... your body is basically chronically oxygen deprived because it can't create properly functioning red blood cells. When I was severely anemic I couldn't sleep well yet was always tired, every day tasks were more difficult, exercise was nearly impossible, I had anxiety and depression, I put on weight, and you know what? I had tonsil problems then too! I wonder if they are somehow related?? Never read that anywhere but they used to act up all the time when I was anemic and now that I'm better they hardly ever bother me and never as badly as back then. Might just be because anemia weakens the immune system? Interesting though...
Mine got to the life threatening point 12 months ago where I needed a whole bunch of transfusions. I was on YAZ so that I wasn't having my periods (They didn't know I had Factor V Lieden at the time and YAZ mixed with that is a recipe for bloodclots >.<) and even with that I still had anemia.
It's a lot better than it was over a year ago. I didn't eat meat back then and I found out I was O Neg so i started donating blood as often as I could. One of the visits I was too low to donate so the nurse kept testing me over and over trying to get it to go into the okay range and it did. That was my last donation. I imagine donating and not getting enough Iron was the start of it and it's taken awhile to improve. My GP is pretty happy with where I'm at but we still need to sort out my Thyroid and The white blood cell count which could also be apart of me feeling weak.
Wow wow wow. I get two stabs and that's it. They kick me out. I can't believe that nurse, that's crazy!
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I agree , hard to believe Nurse kept going so many times on you, but as you said, at that time you didn't know about other health issues.....it is true that ppl think nothing about telling someone else what to eat & how to live.
I'm always amazed with the advice I get .... esp when it's from people who don't have my common sense about food & fitness.0 -
I agree , hard to believe Nurse kept going so many times on you, but as you said, at that time you didn't know about other health issues.....it is true that ppl think nothing about telling someone else what to eat & how to live.
I'm always amazed with the advice I get .... esp when it's from people who don't have my common sense about food & fitness.
She must've done it about 15times over both hands XD not even kidding. I'm a little bothered now that I know how bad it was for her to take the blood but at the same time they really needed O Neg and I'm happy knowing that 3 people out there are better off because of that donation.
XD I remember my partners brother telling me I need to quit having protein shakes because protein makes you gain weight. I laughed so hard when he said that, and i tired to explain that you need a calorie surplus to gain and he refused to listen, kept saying the "Well I'm not fat" So i know better. People are strange animals.
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DietVanillaCoke wrote: »How is your nutrition? I don't want to judge solely by your breakfast, but I do wonder if you're eating real and nutritious food, or "diet food"? It seems with your various conditions, you do have to make the extra effort to ensure that the meals you consume are healthy and balanced, and support the healing of your body. A part of me wonders if that's what your partner is picking up on. A one pound deficit with a short walk, for instance, should still give you a lot of room to consume a healthy nutritious diet, and not just diet food. Hopefully my assumptions are totally wrong!
It's a lot better than it was a year ago. I didn't eat meat back then but I'm eating meat now. My diets pretty good I've been eating around 1600- 1700cals but my GP recommended 1200-1400cals which I tried for a few days back in September and decided to increase them. I'm eating enough Iron though i still go in for my b12 and Iron shots. I had one a few days ago and all of today I've felt amazing, so i think i may have been feeling weak due to the Anemia. Hopefully over the next few months I wont need the infusions anymore =D
My partner doesn't like me weighing and logging my foods as he thinks that it's "Too obsessive" and it's hard to explain to him why I do it as he's one of those people who can eat anything and never works out. So he compares what I'm doing to lose weight to his life style and it's just silly. I was hoping he'd use MFP just so he could get a rough idea on what i'm doing and why i do it.
Grr. So he's basically poo poo'ing your process because he doesn't like it. I would stop explaining the details on what you're doing and just let your balanced diet and results speak for themselves. Also, lots of people prelog their food and you could also measure out portions in advance. I hate to be such a wimp and not because you're scared or anything, I'd just recommend doing some of it around him as little as possible. I just hate to hear people whine and would rather not deal with it.courtneyfabulous wrote: »ALSO...
Have you seen an obgyn? I was severely anemic at one point due to some female health issues that caused excessive bleeding. If you're suffering from this please see a doctor for it and try to get it resolved. Or if that is not the cause then please find out what is- anemia can be caused by many things. Taking iron supplements is not a cure, it's just helping mitigate the damage. You need to find the source of the iron loss and fix it. It's like if you have a hole in a bucket- yes you can keep adding water to the bucket, but a better solution is to fix the leak. Unles the anemia is solely caused by poor diet, then diet changes may help, but if there is any cause other than that it must be addressed.
Don't take anemia lightly, just because it is common doesn't mean it's not a serious condition. For me it was actually quite debilitating & life threatening. It puts a lot of stress on the body and affects a lot of things- energy, sleep patterns, healing, mood... your body is basically chronically oxygen deprived because it can't create properly functioning red blood cells. When I was severely anemic I couldn't sleep well yet was always tired, every day tasks were more difficult, exercise was nearly impossible, I had anxiety and depression, I put on weight, and you know what? I had tonsil problems then too! I wonder if they are somehow related?? Never read that anywhere but they used to act up all the time when I was anemic and now that I'm better they hardly ever bother me and never as badly as back then. Might just be because anemia weakens the immune system? Interesting though...
Mine got to the life threatening point 12 months ago where I needed a whole bunch of transfusions. I was on YAZ so that I wasn't having my periods (They didn't know I had Factor V Lieden at the time and YAZ mixed with that is a recipe for bloodclots >.<) and even with that I still had anemia.
It's a lot better than it was over a year ago. I didn't eat meat back then and I found out I was O Neg so i started donating blood as often as I could. One of the visits I was too low to donate so the nurse kept testing me over and over trying to get it to go into the okay range and it did. That was my last donation. I imagine donating and not getting enough Iron was the start of it and it's taken awhile to improve. My GP is pretty happy with where I'm at but we still need to sort out my Thyroid and The white blood cell count which could also be apart of me feeling weak.
Wow wow wow. I get two stabs and that's it. They kick me out. I can't believe that nurse, that's crazy!
Yeah, he's just mad seeing me log and being really into changing everything. Today he was going through old holiday pictures of me when we went to Bali, back when i use to lift and he started telling me how I really need to get back to that "Bali weight" grrrrrr. He also tried to get me to eat fast food right after saying that and I was like, nope, I'm going to go weigh my salmon, so i can get back to my Bali weight. He didn't say anything. It was great XD
Thank you all for your support and advice, i'll keep losing slowly and I'm just going to ignore people who bring me down. My GP is pretty cool and if he thinks anything is wrong he'll bring it up, so i'll just keep going on this great journey 1 -
Nice you found a solution- now every time he gives you any bit of a hard time, just say "Bali weight" LOL!!
I do suggest getting back into lifting again when your health improves. It's made a big difference for my body for sure.0 -
Good advice above.. eat at maintenance for a while and heal. But do see a doctor about that thyroid and the lymph nodes. Sounds like you have something going on there. As far as exercise, consider walking. I know its winter but you can also do it inside if necessary, I do. I lost 115lbs in a year doing 90% walking for fitness. Granted, I was walking 3.5mph to 4mph and walking 3-5 miles daily six days a week, but the point is still valid. As far as the thyroid, it can cause many problems. My wife, for years, had to take naps every day, with her bones getting brittle. Finally she broke her leg badly simply by twisting her ankle and the doctors still didn't figure it out until much later when we asked them to check her thyroid. She ended up having to have a parathyroid removed but her energy levels are slowly returning to normal. She has one other hurdle, sleep apnea, that she needs to deal with because that does cause her not to get enough sleep much of the time. However losing weight can help that. There are too many good things that can be a result of losing weight, so I wouldn't stop, not permanently anyway. Improved cardio vascular health would benefit you greatly.
Get the rest you need to heal, yes, but take the time to be as active as you can be and log everything and stay at a slight deficit or at maintenance so you don't gain. Too many people think that if they can't do an elliptical or lift heavy weights that they shouldn't try. That's quitter talk. Just walk if you need.
Go to the doctors you trust, the ones who will take the time to tackle one problem at a time. Many doctors out there are very reactive instead of proactive. It's sad but true.; I'm currently considering switching to a new doctor myself because mine has become very reactive. No reminders for annual tests, no offers to check things out/regular blood tests/etc. Unless I ask it doesn't happen. To me, that means I need to find a different doctor which is silly because I have very good private insurance that would pay 100% for annual checkups and tests.1 -
That's funny about the protein shakes! Finally getting adequate protein has helped me finally LOSE body fat, not gain it haha! When I first went into a calorie deficit I was losing weight but my body fat percentage was actually increasing and I couldn't figure out why til I realized it was because I was losing muscle due to working out but not eating enough protein for muscle recovery. As soon as I increased my protein to 100 grams a day I started losing body fat like magic! Tell that to your brother in law.2
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