My own worst enemy seeks some friends.

TeenageMutantNinjaMike

Currently 306.6 lbs - goal 280 lbs, then onto next goal.

I successfully lost about 23 pounds during the spring / summer period. Just stepped on the scale and I got it all back (well almost, 22 pounds of it). I have been telling myself I'll get it back down then go here for friends and motivation. The problem is that just results in me bargaining with myself and pushing things off for another day.

Meet my enemies:
Stress - stress causes me to seek food, it's a comfort, some reach for a cigarette, I reach for the sugar.
Sugar - soda, soda, soda. 40-80 oz per day. It feels like a bad relationship I can't get out of. I know it's killing me and I can get away for a while, but I can't keep away long term. I have to break up with it for good.
Support (or lack of) - I love my family, but supportive they are not. They are not unsupportive, but they don't hold me accountable or seem to show interest in my weight loss journey. They make it so easy to fall off the wagon, instead of helping me stay on or even picking me up when I fall.

My son knows I'm overweight. It doesn't bother him, but I have heard him defend me to others before, and that bothers me. I want him to grow up with a good role model and someone he can be proud of.

My family is my motivation, even without their support.
My shame is my motivation, I am not proud of me or how I look. I own it, but I refuse to accept it.
My desire is my motivation, I desire better, for me, for my family, for my overall well being.

My plan is to log daily, blog at least once a week, and try to comment on as many posts as I can. To do that though I need friends. I need people who need the motivation like I do, and who can share in the successes of each other, and when someone drops off, I want to go find them and bring them back to the fold.

I'm putting a lot out there right now. I hope there's fruits to my labors. Good luck MFP'ers.