I was just called the DUFF-designated ugly fat friend!:(

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13

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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Possibilities:
    a) you were going through your friends phone= you bad friend
    b) you're friend was repeating to you the mean things someone else texted=she bad friend
    c) this never happened, you wanted to hear you're so pretty but ppl are bashing on the guy=we bad friends

    Time to get new friends. Tick tock.
  • RebekahR84
    RebekahR84 Posts: 794 Member
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    Possibilities:
    a) you were going through your friends phone= you bad friend
    b) you're friend was repeating to you the mean things someone else texted=she bad friend
    c) this never happened, you wanted to hear you're so pretty but ppl are bashing on the guy=we bad friends

    Time to get new friends. Tick tock.

    I just don't get the point of criticizing the OP like that. What did THAT add to the conversation? "B" was okay, but you can't expect her to not get defensive about the other 2. Then you'll call her out on being too sensitive when she does, amirite?
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
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    People are a-holes. Even when you get skinnier, there will still be those who make fun of you and call you dumb names. This isn't something that only happens to chubby people. Disregard and move on. Don't let this effect you.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    That's harsh.... But screw him...live your life
  • mnapier3
    mnapier3 Posts: 30
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    That's so terrible! I would never let my boyfriend or any guy I'm interested in talk about my BEST FRIEND like that. No way. No how.

    That man is a douche and words hurt, but to hell with him. YOU DO YOU HONEY!!
  • KickassAugust
    KickassAugust Posts: 1,430 Member
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    If your friend was texting there was no real reason for her to even tell you what the a$$hat said in the first place... you might need to reevaluate that 'friendship'....
  • sunnyhlw77
    sunnyhlw77 Posts: 204 Member
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    I agree with the ignoring part. In high school, one of the guys in my class called me a heffer (a cow) not knowing I was in the room. I never forgot it but you know, the hell with him. Its hard cause people like this hurt our feelings but you know, the hell with them, I like to think they're jealous, lol, of what? well of your confidence, your exterior and interior beauty, your successes, etc. I like to think I'm better than people like that, I don't judge on exterior, I judge on personality, if someone is mean, thats how their judged. Here's some advice, looks fade, beauty disappears but your inner beauty and personality thats what counts in the end. Be strong, those guys aren't worth it.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Don't worry I am definitely going to keep pushing myself and working hard to lose weight! But it really did bring me down since I don't consider myself ugly OR fat; I am chubby, but not fat. :/

    Maybe one day I'll get super hot and then those boys will be into me and then I could be like "Oh I'm sorry I thought you said I was the DUFF!" :bigsmile:

    Use whatever you can for motivation. But don't get too hung up on this. No matter how hot you get, there will always be someone that thinks you are not attractive. People have different tastes. Hot, beautiful, ugly, even fat to some degree, are opinions. Don't let the opinions of others define you.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    Whats with all this texting? Can't your hot friend just talk on the phone?
  • msaprilm1
    msaprilm1 Posts: 47
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    I won't write exactly what it was, because it still stings to see it written out for some reason, but one of my childhood nicknames that followed me into young adulthood had something to do with a pig. My mom always told me success is the best revenge. Focus on yourself, not them. So that's what I did. Not to brag too much, but I consider myself a successful adult.

    So, what did I do? I went and got a pig tattoo on the back of my ankle. It motivates me. Ever hear the story of Yankee Doodle? Yankee Doodle was used as an insult by Confederate soldiers against Union soldiers. When the Union won, they marched through southern towns singing Yankee Doodle Dandy. This tattoo is my Yankee Doodle.

    Let your past empower your future.

    :flowerforyou:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Why do you know what your friend's text messages say?
  • Val_from_OH
    Val_from_OH Posts: 447 Member
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    I was definitely the DUFF in college! My bestie was the most petite, cute girl. The type that guys are always having sit on their laps, or picking up for giant hugs. Needless to say, no one was asking me to sit on their lap :laugh:

    Anyway - she was my BEST FRIEND. She never would have let any of her guy friends say something hurtful about me, and she never made me feel like I was anything less than she was. She was/is the positive voice in my head when I felt down on myself. We are still close today, though we live many miles apart.

    I would definitely have a talk with your friend and let her know that you were hurt. If she comes around, great. She'll know better next time. If she gets defensive, start looking for a new best friend. The type you could trust for the rest of your life.
  • norahwynn
    norahwynn Posts: 862 Member
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    First off, calm down. You can't let people make you feel this way. Especially someone that you don't even know, and who probably hasn't even seen you.

    Second, since this is your 'best friend', you should feel comfortable telling her how you feel. Just don't get all weird about it because I was your age once (I figure you're mid teens), and at that age we tend to blow things out of proportion. She's in her mid teens also (probably), and she most likely fails to realize how her silence made you feel.

    Third, you have to be 18 to use this site. Spark teens is probably a better place for this conversation.

    Either way, I wish you good luck!
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
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    the problem here is not so much the guy as it is your "friend".

    I think she is the one that called you a DUFF in the first place, not K. and if im wrong, in any case, she didn't stand up for you so she is of that opinion too. surround yourself with more supportive friends, not ones that make you feel inferior!

    That's not necessarily true. The friend did stand up for her friend, although we can all agree that a stronger reaction would have been preferred.

    When I was in high school, a friend of a boy I had a crush on called me "ugly." The boy told me, and of course I was very upset. I don't know why he told me, it was a stupid thing that people sometimes do without thinking. I don't think he wanted to hurt me, but maybe he was tired of my having a crush on him and wanted to get rid of me, I don't know. (He turned out to be gay, by the way, so it's not like he was destined to be my soul mate. :smile: But he was a very cute, smart, interesting guy of whom I'll always be fond.)

    Some time after, I mentioned his remark and he didn't remember. This was baffling to me, as of course it was something that was seared into my memory, but I don't think he was lying.

    Even at that age, I wasn't in the habit of casually making cruel fun of other people's looks, in part because I felt so insecure about my own, but I've come to realize that nasty remarks weren't always as seriously and finally meant as I took them. It was a momentary attempt by someone to make themselves feel good. I'M NOT EXCUSING IT, OR SAYING MY REACTION WASN'T COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED. I'm not justifying taking bullying, but some people are going to make nasty remarks no matter what you do. It's always worse when there's some basis for the negative comment; someone calls you ugly and you already feel unattractive.

    If I were the OP I would calmly say something like: "If you consistently allow your friends or friends of friends to insult me I have a problem with that. " If she's wishy-washy in her response I would consider ending the friendship.
  • nyrina4life
    nyrina4life Posts: 196 Member
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    Sorry, that doesn't sound like much of a friend if she couldn't tell him that you are not a 'DUFF' and to STFU. I would have a talk, and if my friend didn't feel they were in the wrong, well there are better people out there.

    Terms like DUFF though are just stupid. Sorry you got called something that a toddler probably came up with, because honestly, it takes a child's mentality to come up with such harsh, stupid, titles for people.
  • TheBitSlinger
    TheBitSlinger Posts: 621 Member
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    I find that when you throat punch certain people, they have a hard time saying awful things.
  • tazhinshaw
    tazhinshaw Posts: 297 Member
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    My last name is Duff o.o and I totally bought that book DUFF because of it.

    That sucks but this loser is not a friend or someone you look up to. Try to ignore the haters OP, it may have stemmed from his own insecurities.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
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    Whats with all this texting? Can't your hot friend just talk on the phone?

    I know that younger people text all the time, but texting when you're having a conversation with a friend is rude.
  • JenniferPlus2
    JenniferPlus2 Posts: 119 Member
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    I find that when you throat punch certain people, they have a hard time saying awful things.

    ^^This^^
  • Pinkranger626
    Pinkranger626 Posts: 460 Member
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    You have a right to feel hurt about a comment like that, it's degrading! I once had a friend that had the same first name as me (we're no longer friends due to other circumstances that have nothing to do with this post), I was talking to one of my guy friends about something we had done together and he interrupts me mid sentence and says "Wait, you mean the hot one?" I immediately responded with "Gee thanks a lot, so I'm chopped liver?" he was mortified and never made reference to her in that way again

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