Feeling Like A Failure - 345lbs

Wii_Player

Great advice here, but I still wanted to show my support. Be proud that you are doing something about your weight! Kudos for that! Stay positive Feel free to add me, if you wish!

Piqueaboo

Hey chick, I sent you a friend request. Listen to the people here, their advice is great. You've already started, so you're on a good path. Don't beat yourself up when you have a bad day. Getting out the door is half the work done. And don't quit!

Savagedistraction

We all fail sometimes. That's life. Good news is, you can stop sh!tty habits right now. Not Monday, not after Xmas. Now. Your choice. Get busy living. The path you're on now is the fast track to disability and death.
https://youtu.be/xgZcJD-KfHI

dasher602014

You have started, I am sure it is again. But this time, this time, do it slowly, thoughtfully and carefully. In 1 year, only 1 year, you will look back and marvel at the new habits and all the weight you have lost. Think how you will feel! And hold on to that thought when times get difficult. We are not perfect, we are all tempted and we give in, on occasion. But if you stay the course and make small changes, and eat real foods, this time will be the last time. This time, you will get it done and keep it done. Research all the diets out there, then choose one that appeals and is healthy. If it doesn't work, do something else. Keep working at it until it clicks for you.

Be kind but firm with yourself. Eat real foods, be honest in all things concerning food and exercise. Do not reward yourself with food. Do not eat food for comfort. It is fuel, good tasting, but fuel, not happiness or any other emotion.

This is the story of so many of us, me included.

You are a winner because you have started. Just keep going, no matter what.

girlwithcurls2

Nothing different to add, except that you are already doing awesome for not telling yourself that you'll start on Jan. 1. Start today. Just log your food. Get a baseline and find out how many calories you are consuming each day. Even if you do JUST THIS for two weeks, you'll get some good data for starting out.

Hugs to you, OP. You're worth this. You will find a supportive community here, full of people who have been where you are, or have just been down a difficult path in general. We all have our demons. Yours shows on the outside. You'll get there. Never, EVER give up on yourself

thevividsoul

everher wrote: »

Start small.

Begin logging all your food here on MFP. Buy a food scale if you don't already have one and weigh all your solids and measure all your liquids. Be honest with yourself and log everything you put into your mouth. After you have logging down, begin trying to reduce portion sizes and stay within your daily calorie allotment.

Be kind to yourself. Don't set too aggressive goals. Don't think about all the weight you have to lose. Just focus on five pounds. Just lose the first five pounds and then next five and so on. You will have bad days. We all do. Just keep logging and keep going.

That's what I don't do.. I always think about 'all the weight I have to lose'.. instead of trying to just shoot for the small goals.. I guess it takes practice to try to get it through my head lol

dutchandkiwi

snickerscharlie wrote: »

I spent the first two weeks on MFP simply logging all my current foods honestly and completely, as well as learning how to weigh and measure everything accurately. Didn't make any changes to my diet - I just wanted to get a handle on how much I was *really* consuming in an average week.

The results of that were eye-opening.

Then I started making small, sustainable, gradual changes to what I ate and how much activity (walking) I did. Once you get the hang of it and start seeing results, that in and of itself is very motivating.

And I agree to set small goals for yourself. The big picture can be overwhelming. And realize that if you have a day that you didn't do so well, the next day is a brand new opportunity to do better.

Totally agree with @snickerscharlie Before you start, just log for a little while - Doing that (and using where possible real data - for instance USDA vs user entered) is an eye opener as to what foods add up to and how.
I was going to do it in the same way, but it was such a shock to my system that I cut out 50% of my snacking within 4 days.
Then start with the small goals - Mine was fitting back in my favorite (too snug) favourite workpants Did not take that long - but then I set my sights on another skirt and then and it snowballed to where I am now.

The good news about being on MFP, though our starting points are all different and our reasons are all different We of all people really understand your feeling. We have walked, are walking and will walk the same path. That feeling of feeling what do I need to do and how do I start. We know it.
Find your way around this place and you will find a lot of help, but the journey is and will be yours to take.

everher

Annie_01 wrote: »

While I agree with not beating yourself up. However...for me...how I got to be obese and out of shape...I think I was TOO kind and gentle on myself.

I find handing out some tough love to myself does more for me. It gets me back on track...makes me take a hard look at my failures and try to figure out why I failed.

I am prone to rationalizing not eating properly or not exercising when I am being too gentle with myself. I can always find an excuse or a reason to say...this is just too hard today.

When I say be kind I mean 'don't hate yourself because you are x amount of pounds'. One thing I have learned from doing this repeatedly over the years is that if I don't love myself at x amount of pounds losing x amount of pounds isn't going to make me love myself. It will never be enough. I will never be good enough in my eyes and it leads to destructive thoughts and behaviors.

When I say be kind I mean 'don't have a meltdown when you overeat or go over your calories one day'. I've been there too. I go over one day or maybe I'm being super restrictive (as I have been in the past) and I eat a cookie and I start calling myself all types of names in my head and then I give up because what's the point?

I'm young, but it's taken me a long time to get to this point where I love myself and trust me I love myself. I loved myself at 214 lbs and I'm going to love myself at 150 lbs (my goal weight) because I am enough.

I am doing this because I love myself and I want to be kind to myself. I want to be healthy. I don't want to destroy my body or destroy my health.

OP, I have had issues with food all my life too. Eating far too many sweets and foods high in calories with poor nutritional value, eating when I'm upset, eating when I'm happy, eating because I'm bored, overeating because I want more food...

I'm from the South and I swear eating seems to be apart of the culture here. At some point, you have to just say enough is enough. Identify the issues and start actively working on them. No, they aren't going to fix themselves overnight, but working on them day after day and accepting that some days you are going to fail and have to pick yourself up and keep going is going to make all the difference.

Just like my fitness level has improved over the last two months my relationship with food is improving. Slowly, but surely I see changes. I cannot imagine where I will be a year from now, but I want to find out.

Just never give up and for help and support, we're always here.

WalkingDeadFrank

courtneyallisonatx wrote: »

I stepped on the scale this morning and almost had an emotional breakdown. 345lbs. I have never been this heavy in my life.
Things have been difficult lately for me - walking, reaching, steps, putting a tampon in, breathing. I want to lose weight for myself, to feel comfortable in my own skin, to not want to die everytime I walk up the stairs, and have sex with my fiance without cramping. I can use all the help I can get, I don't even know where to start. My Fiance and I see a trainer twice a week to workout, but it just proves how important food actually is. Add me.

Hi Courtney!

Your statement about food is spot on, unless you get your diet in check, seeing a PT 5 days a week won't do anything but lighten your bank account.

Do you plan your meals per day? Are you logging the calories to take in daily? Can you get yourself a fitness watch to help determine the amount of calories you're burning per day?

This is obviously a long journey but once you start seeing results, that alone is motivating even to get you going daily.

Also, see your doctor and talk about options for weight loss. I don't advocate taking medication for weight loss but it sounds like you may be a candidate for some of these medications for weight lose. But unless you change your life style, you'll just gain all the weight back after the end medication cycle.

Frank

McKay85

Girl - I get you! I recently went to the Dr and the scale has me at about the same. I NEVER thought I would be this heavy. It's sad and scarry. But i mostly want to feel good about my body - no more aches, pains and struggle! I just want you to know that Im in the same boat and Im doing battle alongside with you ❤

Merida12

https://fitnessblender.com/blog/my-before-and-after-story-how-i-lost-40-lbs-and-beat-my-eating-disorder-

Hope that link worked. Check out Kelli's before and after fitness story on Fitnessblender.com. It's inspiring! She completely revamped how she viewed food, exercise, and herself. Hope it helps you!

emdeesea

I would say I hope you're still around because I noticed your last log in was Dec. 22. For MFP to be effective, you have to do this every day.

I hope to see you here again soon after the holidays are over maybe?

BlondeButtercup127

Feel free to add me!

sbk91

Add me. I too started my weight loss journey at 345 lbs exactly. You CAN do it!

anl90

I completely understand how you feel. It's embarrassing how far I have let myself go, and it is hard not to dwell on it. I have gotten down a solid routine in the past, and I know it worked for me, but life happened and I lost motivation. I am trying to regain that motivation, and this place is great for that. I'll for sure send you a friend request, because I cannot wait to see all the amazing progress you continue to achieve!

SideSteel

I think it's great that you've decided to make some changes and focus on self improvement.

I would love to hear how things are going for you so far if you would like to share.

I just wanted to wish you well and see how things are going

legalsec1234a

please feel free to add me as your friend. I have been on a self destructive path for the last 13 years and have gained over 150 pounds. It took years to get me where I am, along with self loathing, stressful job and poor life choices. I am day two of my new journey with MyFitnessPal and for the first time in my life I am looking forward to tomorrow's logging and blogging. Good luck in your journey. WE CAN DO THIS!!!!

jenilla1

everher wrote: »

...Be kind to yourself. Don't set too aggressive goals. Don't think about all the weight you have to lose. Just focus on five pounds. Just lose the first five pounds and then next five and so on. You will have bad days. We all do. Just keep logging and keep going.

Best, most sustainable advice right here! Love it! Small changes carried out over time are more manageable. In order to keep it off, whatever you do to lose the weight needs to be something you are willing and able to do for the rest of your life, so no drastic measures, overly restrictive methods or punishments!!! Don't be too aggressive or you're likely to burn out and give up.

It may take longer to get to your goal, but you have the rest of your life to get there, so take your time, make it a habit, and you will succeed. You can do this, but you need to make a commitment to this being a permanent lifestyle change, not just a "diet." Good luck!!!

ETA: Losing just 10% of your total body weight confers massive health benefits, and that's just 35 pounds for you! Totally achievable as a preliminary goal...then, after that success you set the next goal and the next...

courtneyallisonatx

Gosh, I was finally able to check back to this post after the Holidays. Thank you all so much for your encouragement and kind words. They mean more to me than you will ever know! I finally feel like I am at the place in my life where this is now or never, and I chose now!