My Mother-In-Law Called Me Skinny.. WTF?!?

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rassha01
rassha01 Posts: 534 Member
in Motivation and Support
Taken it light heartedly. She asked me the other day if I was finally done losing weight?! She says"you lose anymore and your gonna be skin and bones."

If yall knew her you would laugh, she is a woman that has constantly been trying differant diets to lose weight and I think she may be jealous of my 50 pound loss in 7 months. I told her na, I want to lose about another 20 pounds and she about blew a cork! I then had to reassure her that I am eating over 2k kcals/day and getting my results from exercising to create a deficit. I guess I wonder why someone would assume if I get any skinnier I would be unhealthy? I am 200 pounds, 6' tall, around 19% bf with a BMI around 27.5, surely I have plenty o' fat to get rid of yet!

She is not the only one that gives me this speech and it really gets kind of annoying. Anyone else get comments like this? If so, how do you deal with them?

Replies

  • hpilon27
    hpilon27 Posts: 43
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    Sounds like a complement. Even if she is a bit jealous, could be her way of saying she has noticed your progress.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    I get this from overweight family members & acquaintances. I just keep telling myself that their perception of normal weight is so skewed that they have no basis for rational thought when it comes to weight. And that I used to say the same things about other people who had lost weight.

    Keep taking it in stride! Congrats on your losses so far :)
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,154 Member
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    It's common. It takes people a while for the image they have in their heads and the person in front of them to reconcile. Until that happens, the person often seems far too thin because they're comparing you to the "normal" (i.e., heavier) you and not being able to adjust. As you maintain the loss, those comments will eventually stop. People are often genuinely concerned because you seem too thin to them. Try not to let it get to you. And grats on the loss.
  • NovemberJune
    NovemberJune Posts: 2,525 Member
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    Yes, my mother-in-law started saying I was too skinny when I was still like 30 lbs overweight. I'm at a healthy weight now, and my father-in-law said if I lose anymore I'll be anorexic. That one seriously shocked me. I especially didn't expect that from him. :noway:
  • getting_fit86
    getting_fit86 Posts: 128 Member
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    Sounds like she is just jealous.
  • kchang77
    kchang77 Posts: 76 Member
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    I get this from overweight family members & acquaintances. I just keep telling myself that their perception of normal weight is so skewed that they have no basis for rational thought when it comes to weight.

    Ditto that.

    Also, most people these days don't realize the healthy way to lose weight and alot of the time just think you lose weight by starving yourself so they have an uniformed concern based on their own lack of knowledge. I find it funny that the most opinionated comments I got were from people that smoke and drink and have beer guts. BTW, I am doing my third triathlon this summer this coming weekend.

    Keep up the great work.
  • tsimblist
    tsimblist Posts: 206 Member
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    I first heard it from my father-in-law, then my wife. Part of the problem was that the was little muscle under my fat. When the fat melted away, you could see a lot of bones. Now that I have more than a year of weight training under my belt, it doesn't look as bad.
  • nwg74
    nwg74 Posts: 360 Member
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    I have been overweight for the last 27 years so people are not used to see me 202 pounds lighter. In fact I cannot remember when I looked normal.

    I am ignoring the ideal weight BMI. I am 26.5 and people say I am just skin and bones. I admit I am not used to seeing my collar bone or even feeling my shoulder bones. I still want to lose a bit more but it would be only be something like 5 pounds. My BMI would then be 26 and I would be happy with that. I would be still 5' 7" and 165 pounds.
  • idahomommy
    idahomommy Posts: 28 Member
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    My mother-in-law hasn't seen me in over a year and I've lost almost 40 pounds since then. I weigh a little less than when I met her son, but I'm still a slightly larger size (hello fat, goodbye muscle). Lately almost every day someone I see on a daily basis compliments my weight loss. I was kind of put off she didn't say anything (I know, totally vain).

    My husband told me she asked if I was sick. What?!
    1. I don't look sick (I started with a barely overweight BMI and now I'm on the lower end of normal.)
    2. Isn't there a more tactful way to ask this question? (Such as "[your wife] has lost a lot of weight. How's she doing it?" or something like that. If my husband didn't volunteer more info, drop the subject.)

    Then again after my last child was born VERY quickly, she directly asked me if I was torn bad since it was so fast (only she asked it in a worse way I think). Who asks that? I don't even talk to my own mom about stuff like that. She had asked indirectly and I got around it, but then when she flat out asked that, I was completely baffled.
  • BluejayNY
    BluejayNY Posts: 301 Member
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    Actually I think it was just a compliment but perhaps not the best wording.

    Family is fun though..My soont o be exes grandma told me last time I saw her that she noticed I had gained weight. She said "you're looking much better. You looked so anorexic last time I saw you." I was a little offended haha. There was a time when I was way too thin but it wasn't last time I saw her! I put on a few extra lbs because I had hoped it would increase my fertility.

    Its your body so you keep yourself at whatever weight you feel best at!
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
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    I am 200 pounds, 6' tall, around 19% bf with a BMI around 27.5, surely I have plenty o' fat to get rid of yet!
    .

    I agree with most posters. People are used to seeing you overweight, and if they are overweight themselves, they have very skewed perspective on what is "skinny" or "skin and bones".

    That said, your bf% and BMI are completely not in agreement with one another. I'd ignore your BMI and go off how you look and your bf%. With 19% and your picture, I would doubt you have another 20lbs to lose (unless you're looking to lose muscle too?). I think you look fantastic, but don't let that stupid BMI get you down!
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Yeah - some of the people at work asked me how much more I wanted to lose. When I told them, they dropped their chin and said there wouldn't be anything of me left. I told them that was the plan! LOL
  • aNewYear123
    aNewYear123 Posts: 279 Member
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    I get this from overweight family members & acquaintances. I just keep telling myself that their perception of normal weight is so skewed that they have no basis for rational thought when it comes to weight. And that I used to say the same things about other people who had lost weight.

    Keep taking it in stride! Congrats on your losses so far :)

    ^^^ This

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