Need help to stop over-restricting

idahomommy

I’ve seen many posts about people warning others not to go on an overly restrictive diet, listing all the bad experiences they’ve had, etc. Well it’s too late – I’ve been doing it for a couple of months now (that's not too bad, right?) and after reading all of those posts I’m terrified to stop it.

Of course I’m not a great maintainer and just over the weekend I had a day where I ate 3,900 calories of sweets/carbs/junk – all but 300 of those were between 5:30 and 9:30pm. I “make up for it” by restricting even more in the following days. I love food and have never had the willpower to restrict like this before. I’m 5’7”: started at a BMI of 26.3 (168 lbs) and now I’m at a BMI of 20.3 (128-130lbs).

I don’t want to gain back what I’ve lost, let alone any more. I’ve added some calories back. I used to hate myself if I hit 800 calories, now it’s not until I hit 950. I know this is too little. I know I shouldn’t have done this. I know I’m doing it all wrong. I know I have disordered eating and I have a therapist but we aren’t really touching on my eating yet because I am unwilling to.

What I need is some help on how to stop this restricting.

I used to run about 2-3 miles a few times a week and it was really good for me (energy and overall happiness). However, since the restricting started working so well, combined with my extreme lack of energy (I have 2 small kids too), I have hardly been running.

I do eat mostly protein since it keeps me more full and lots of veggies because they have low calories. I’ve cut out most fruits which I love because they have too many calories. I do not weight train, although I am probably going to start seeing a personal trainer for help with this.

Will eating more protein, fruits & veggies plus adding in weight training and cardio (again) be enough? How fast should I add calories back to avoid the massive weight gain? 25 calories per week?

I really do want to correct this with the fewest consequences possible. I’m hoping that some people who have been able to correct their habits can offer some advice. I wasn’t really able to find the “after” stories of how people corrected – I found more about how bad it was and all the weight gain that followed. I know the facts and the numbers, but they all ignore the emotional issues associated with behavior like this which I think is what makes it so hard to stop.

Thank you (and sorry that was so long - wow)