Family makes me eat!
flippy1234
Posts: 686 Member
My husband travels a great deal. When he is gone, I do great eating and exercising. When he is home, I am lazier and more lax with what I eat. I tend to eat very healthy but I eat more when he's home. Any suggestions of how to avoid this?
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Replies
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No one controls how you eat, except for you.49
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Stop thinking that someone else "makes" you do it. Decide what's important to you, and go from there.26
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If you're cooking meals differently for him when he's there, try making your own meals along side his. It's a pain to make two different things but planned out right it's not all that hard. Otherwise, you'll just have to practice portion control.11
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flippy1234 wrote: »My husband travels a great deal. When he is gone, I do great eating and exercising. When he is home, I am lazier and more lax with what I eat. I tend to eat very healthy but I eat more when he's home. Any suggestions of how to avoid this?
I totally get this. Historically, I gain weight whenever I am in a relationship, and lose it after it ends when I spend more time being active and eat differently. I moved in with my OH in November and have gained a few pounds. Now, I could blame that on him (and on PTSD from the election), or I could take responsibility for myself and realize that although it is more challenging, I can do this. Just takes more effort on my part.10 -
Take responsibility for your actions and own up to overeating because you want to, not because anybody is making you do it.20
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I have a family of 5 and my fiance' refuses to eat what he calls "diet" food. This means anything not full of carbs, fried, or smothered in salt and butter. I have not changed what I would usually cook for dinner, I just eat less of it.4
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I just told my OH I need more time at dinner to prelog, finish the recipe builder, etc., and that I am not blaming him at this time but if he doesn't give me time I will blame him
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You've gotten into a habit of being more lax when he's around and liking that time you spend with him eating. In a way and I know it sounds corny, you're going to have to "grieve" a little. If you can do this when he's gone, you can do it when he's there. The decision is up to you. My husband and I used to love having popcorn nearly every evening and it wasn't just normal amounts - it was OMG amounts. Just the other night - he wanted popcorn, and I just didn't. He asked if I was okay with him having it, and I totally was. I just had some leftover turkey instead. (I LOVE cold leftover turkey with just a little salt on it!)
Find things you can do to make it easier when he's around. I have a "snack box" with 100 calorie snacks in it that's my "safe box". That way I'm not tempted by the other crap in the house.4 -
I've lost 18.5 lbs in 73 days cooking and eating the exact same food that I got fat from in the first place.9
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Stop defining foods as healthy and unhealthy. Only eating habits can be healthy or not healthy.
I, too, have lost the majority of my weight eating the same foods that I overate to get obese.5 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Stop thinking that someone else "makes" you do it. Decide what's important to you, and go from there.
Bingo.3 -
You gotta get used to getting in a new routine. Like many of the people before me posted, "start making healthy habits" It's easier to put the blame on someone else and I get that everyone does it's when you start becoming more in control of yourself where these unhealthy habits stop.1
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I get it. My fiancé is in a slump with his weight loss, and as a result it rubs off on me. I've been watching what I eat, and we have cut back on eating out, but exercise is almost non-existent. Just push aside wanting to slack off, and do what you need to do. If he isn't about eating healthy, maybe you two could come to some sort of compromise.0
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First stop blaming 'family'. This is more about your choices and your resolve than what others make you do. Second discuss your goals with your husband. Not in an effort to change what he does, but to help hold you accountable. What I mean is this: if I plan to do something, and no one knows, then no one (but me) knows if I don't follow thru. Letting other people know my plans helps me follow thru with them, as they will know if I don't. Hope that makes sense!flippy1234 wrote: »My husband travels a great deal. When he is gone, I do great eating and exercising. When he is home, I am lazier and more lax with what I eat. I tend to eat very healthy but I eat more when he's home. Any suggestions of how to avoid this?
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I get it. The same happens to me. And sure no one can "make" you eat as some are suggesting you meant. I know that you mean to say that situations where you are with your family end in you eating more thus "family makes me eat!" is the title as that is the major factor in your eating more.
When I am alone I will eat much less. When I have the family around I do tend to eat more. They don't want to eat the things I cook for myself so I prepare a different meal when it's just me. When they are all here I cook what the whole family will eat. Also I am cooking a greater quantity because cooking for 4 vs cooking for 1 is very different quantities of food. The best way I have found to prevent over eating (because eating more does not necessarily mean OVER eating, it could be just a LITTLE more) I try not to make much more than I know will be eaten in a sitting by the family unless I have some reason to make a little extra. If it has to do with going out to eat you don't have to order an entree, you can order sides or ask for a to-go box when the food is brought so you can immediately box half and eat the rest later.2 -
I could easily blame my husband for my weight gain or slow loss because he's forever making delicious food and treats. But he doesnt hold my mouth open and pour the food down my gullet, he does make it very hard though. But i have become a stubborn mule lately by not eating every damn thing he puts in my lap (he literally puts the plate on my lap, or a handful of chips on my chest when i'm lying down on the couch
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I've found once i start nibbling it's harder to stop, so I've just started putting the chips back in the bowl or the plate in the fridge for another time.8 -
One of the things I had to learn (because I simply had never even thought about it until I wanted to lose weight) is that I really have to focus on what's appropriate for my needs. I understand the "oh it's not fair" mindset when watching other family members eat quantities of food seemingly mindlessly when you have to pay attention to not overeat. But you have to be pretty logical sometimes and tell your inner brat to just shut up and accept the reality.
The reality is that my husband needs to eat a lot more food than I do for a lot of reasons. He's male, he's 14 inches taller than I am and he weighs a lot more than I do. Even though it makes me irritated sometimes when he eats a large quantity of ice cream and I know I don't need to eat that much (but I sometimes do!) no matter how much I want to.
Which is a long way around to say just focus on what's right for you and if it takes you smacking yourself on the head once in awhile so be it. For me, pre-logging whatever it is and seeing the total calories and how much it does or doesn't fit into my goals is many times a head-smacking moment.8 -
That is a tough one! I agree with everyone saying it is your choice, which it is, but completely understand where you are coming from. I like to cook boring healthy food and my wife get sick of it after a couple of days. She will order Thai or pizza and it will be at the house when I get home from the gym. Super hard not to slam half of a large pizza after a tough workout! I feel your pain but in the end it is definitely your decision. I think StaciMarie makes a great point and sitting down with him to discuss your goals is probably a great place to start. Who knows, maybe he wants to work on portion control too!1
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I gained a ton of weight because I ate like my husband. He's slim and has an active job, so he eats a lot of calories and big portions to maintain his weight. Now, I either make a separate meal for myself or have much smaller, measured portions and have lost 97 pounds. He loves pizza (I do too, of course... who doesn't?!), so if we have that for example, I'll have one to two slices with a big salad. If we have fish or chicken, I'll bread and fry his and grill or bake mine, with lots of steamed veggies on the side. There's a lot of things you can do that makes everyone happy.4
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I do better left to myself too. I don't know why. But same here, kids home, dh home and it's comfort food. Maybe that's all it is: Enjoying the time together with good food.
No worries OP. You're making a difference.keep at it.1 -
My husband is overweight, pre-diabetic, has high cholesterol and his triglycerides are through the roof. He gets no exercise, and doesn't care. For years I have put my own health on the back burner because he would get a bit miffed if I tried to cook healthy. Finally, a couple years ago, I decided to he** with him, I was sick of being fat and unhealthy, and he needed to get healthy also. Now I cook fairly healthy, and he doesn't love it, but he eats it. He also keeps ice cream and other junk around, and eats lunch out a couple times a week (fried everything.) If he wants to kill himself, I can't stop him, but I can do what's best for both of us through my cooking. Put your health first.5
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When I am not actively watching my weight, my husband and I tend to spur each other to eating more fattening foods. Donuts, ice cream, cinnamon rolls, pizza - if one doesn't suggest it, the other does, and usually we get whatever it is. Not surprisingly, we both have weight issues. However, when I am trying to lose the weight I gain by overindulging too often, DH is equally willing to go along with whatever I suggest. Treats are not forbidden, but they are a lot less frequent. If I say I don't want pancakes, he's fine with that. I fix meat and vegetables or soup, and he eats what he wants and leaves the rest. I cook, so I have control over what we eat. If he wants something I don't want to eat, he is free to make it himself or go out and buy it. I decide how much I eat and when and how much I exercise. He is free to do the same, though we do spend time together walking every day. I am lucky to have a flexible husband, but I also know that ultimately I am always responsible for what I eat and what I do.2
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flippy1234 wrote: »My husband travels a great deal. When he is gone, I do great eating and exercising. When he is home, I am lazier and more lax with what I eat. I tend to eat very healthy but I eat more when he's home. Any suggestions of how to avoid this?
Your title and your description do not match. I don't see where anyone is making you do anything. Just get in to a healthy routine when you're alone, and stick to it when you have company.
Weight loss is a lifestyle change. You just need to live the same lifestyle whether it's just you or if there's someone else around.0 -
No one else in my family is trying to lose and all the things that made me fat are always around. So, I either make my own food or eat less of what others are eating. It's always your choice. It's harder when you can't completely control everything in your environment, but the truth is that few people who don't live alone can.
Plan ahead. Plan you meals. Your choices are yours alone.1 -
Seriously, that's crap! No offense meant. But how can you make changes if you are blaming others. My husband's diet is kitten poop but that doesn't have to affect how I eat.1
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flippy1234 wrote: »My husband travels a great deal. When he is gone, I do great eating and exercising. When he is home, I am lazier and more lax with what I eat. I tend to eat very healthy but I eat more when he's home. Any suggestions of how to avoid this?
Your title and your description do not match. I don't see where anyone is making you do anything. Just get in to a healthy routine when you're alone, and stick to it when you have company.
Weight loss is a lifestyle change. You just need to live the same lifestyle whether it's just you or if there's someone else around.
This. OP you said you're eating healthy food just more of it when your spouse is home? Weight loss comes down to the amount you eat, not the type of foods. If you are eating too much, cut back the portions slightly or sit and talk with him while he has a snack or whatever the issue seems to be.
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flippy1234 wrote: »My husband travels a great deal. When he is gone, I do great eating and exercising. When he is home, I am lazier and more lax with what I eat. I tend to eat very healthy but I eat more when he's home. Any suggestions of how to avoid this?
Sounds easy
Have him stay away longer
Ohhh! Can mine come!?0 -
OP this used to be me. But I got tired of "dieting" for an event (vacation, wedding etc), or for other people.
Once I made up my mind to lose weight for ME, I don't give 2 poo's what others eat around me. My husband is a healthy weight and eats whatever and whenever. He likes to go out to eat. This used to bother me, but no more. I eat what he eats in smaller portions sometimes and sometimes I make myself what I want to eat. I learned to make a little smarter choices when going out to eat BUT still getting the things I like to eat.
For ME learning that I can lose weight eating at a certain calorie goal was pretty empowering. I can eat the foods I love just not so much of it:).
I'm not sure if this was helpful but there you go:).1
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