Tired of being fat, going to do it this time! Weight loss Journal

colossk

So I've never done one of these before and it's not like me to do one but I figured what have I got to lose. I need to do something so I'm pulling out all the stops. My reason for doing this is I'm hoping it will help keep me focused and motivated. I'm also hoping when I lose the weight if I start to regress to my old habits this will help me not go back to my old ways. So here begins the start of my journal!

If this is not the right forum maybe someone can move it?

A little about me. I'm a male (are there any males on these boards? lol) and married with 3 kids. I'm 42 years old 5"6 and weigh 237 pounds when I started my weight loss journey about 9 days ago. I figure I'm about 100 pounds overweight. I have struggled with weight most of my life and have done the yo yo diet thing in the past but this time I am determined to keep it off. I also need to keep it off, not just so I can feel better about myself but for health reasons. in November 2015 I was diagnosed with stage 3 Kidney cancer, I had a 10 cm tumor on my right kidney and I had no symptoms whatsoever and it was a complete fluke that they saw it. The Dr said that it was very likely in another year with it being undiscovered it would have been to late. 3 weeks later I was in surgery and had my right kidney removed. last week I had my 1 year milestone scan which is supposed to be a big one and I am cancer free. Next milestone is 5 year. Anyways I digress. Because I only have 1 kidney it is important for me to lose weight. I lost about 40 pounds in 2016 and then gained it all back towards the end of this year thru reverting back to my bad habits

I was overweight in my teens and overweight most of my adult life. The only time I wasn't overweight was was about a 8 year period from 19 to my late 20's where I lost about 90 pounds, and then proceeded to gain it almost all back in my late 20's.

Looking back those 8 years were the happiest of my life. Not that I'm sad now or anything but from the prospective that I looked good. I was confident, cocky, outgoing, social and not self conscious at all. I was at the gym 5-6x a week lifting weights, My stomach was flat, I was fit, I was toned, I had muscle definition Compare that to the person I was before or that I am now there is definitely a huge difference in my personality that is due to my weight. I haven't turned into a complete introvert or anything but I have shied away from some social engagements due to my weight as well as not having participated in things like swimming with my kids in public due to my weight. I am very self conscious, not cocky at all and have become more of an introvert. I'm not anti social or anything but there is a noticeable difference IMO. My clothing wardrobe is also a little lackluster as there is a lot of track pants, and sweatshirts in there as I tell myself there is no point in buying new clothes as I will lose the weight and no point in wasting money when they just won't fit a month later.
I also am of the opinion that having nicer clothes won't make me look better, because I am still fat.

My problem with my weight is I'm an emotional eater and a binge eater. I also eat when I'm bored. I'm also a procrastinator. I tell myself I will start weight loss tomorrow and then go out and binge on junk food justifying it by telling myself it will be my last cheat day so might as well make it count. I also for some reason associate junk food with entertainment. My wife is a shift worker. She works nights from 12pm-12am a few nights a week. On those nights when she's at work and the kids are in bed I always order a large pizza around 9 at night and wolf it down while watching tv or a movie. Then I follow that with a big bag of chips or something. The whole package (pizza, snacks, movie) is my "fun night" I don't know how else to explain it but the food makes it "fun"

Also to give you an example of what a binge day for me looks like: I tell myself I'm going to start losing weight tomorrow and since it's going to be my last bad day I am going to make it count. Having justified my binge day, I then proceed to buy a combination of 3-4 things, a large bag of potato chips, a tub of ice cream, a small cake, box of cookies one of those dairy milk super sized chocolate bars that are 3x the size of a normal chocolate bar, a pie and wolf that down thru out the day along with takeout food. The takeout food could be Pizza, Mcdonalds, basically anything as long as it is delicious and junky. I probably do binge days like these about 1-2x per week on average. On top of that I am always snacking late at night in front of the tv. Eating chips or chocolate, Stuff like that. My junk food eating has gotten so out of control that I'm at the point now where when I am eating chips or chocolate in front of the tv, i think to myself I don't even want this, I'm tired of chips/chocolate but I continue to eat it anyway. And with me it's not just some chips, it's always the entire bag. And I am talking family bags here and on occasion I've caught myself buying Party size bags of lays's just because family size might not be enough due to a bad day or whatever reason.

Anyways this post is getting kind of long and I've given a pretty good picture of who I am and where I sit currently. Since I'm 9 days into my "diet" I will start my journey in another post and highlight what I have done so far, my thoughts and my hi's and low's of the past 9 days and then do a daily update from then on out

ClarityPeace

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colossk

So I realize this might be a little controversial but I chose to do Isagenix as a kick start to my program. I can hear some of you now groaning and shaking your head and getting ready to post how awful an idea this is but before you start typing away let me explain my thought process and my reasoning behind doing so.

I forgot to mention this but having only 1 kidney and doing Isagenix was a concern due to concentrated protein. I have talked to my Dr about it and although he did not recommend it, he wasn't against it as long as it was short term only (no longer than 30 days) and the end result would belosing a lot of weight as he agreed that the weight loss and return to healthy eating would be far more beneficial that a lot of concentrated protein for a short time frame

First, I do realize that this is probably not the best way to go about losing weight due to the extremely low calories I would be taking in and the possibility of losing muscle rather than fat, and a lot of water weight rather than fat and the possibility of gaining it all back and all the other things that I am going to be warned about. However I have carefully weighed the pro's and cons and have decided for me and my personality it will give me the best chance of success. I am also not going to be on this long term, I only plan to do a 30 day plan to kick start my weight loss and for those of you trying to lose weight, you know how important a rapid fast weight loss for the first few weeks is mentally.

Also, looking back I have tried to diet several times in my life. I know dieting is the wrong thing to do and it's about changing lifestyle and all that but for anyone starting to lose weight there is that "need" for rapid weight loss at the beginning to keep you motivated.

When I became really fit in my 20's I first lost all the weight (about 90-100 lbs) by basically eating nothing. I ate nothing all day long and then at dinner ate a bowl of chicken soup, a roll and a sandwich. I did this for months. Yes I know now that this was a terrible way to lose weight but it worked, it was very rapid and very effective. I know now that if I had lost the weight slowly and ate properly and exercised more at the 1 year mark I would be in much better shape physically. I would have had much better muscle tone and my cardiovascular system would have been in better shape at that point then what it was, buy my goal was to lose weight fast and if it took me longer to get toned, I was ok with that as long as the weight was gone and I wouldn't be looked at as that "fat guy" anymore. I could deal with it taking 2x longer to get a toned result as long as that weight came of fast in the beginning. I'm very much in that same mind frame now.

And it happened, I lost the weight, I became toned and fit. I gained it all back about 9 years later because I reverted back to my old self, constantly telling myself I would change later and never did. I also lost a lot of weight last year in a short time frame. It wasn't intentional, it just happened. I lost about 40 pounds in about 2 months due to my work. Same thing happened. I just didn't eat. It wasn't as extreme as my diet in my 20's nor was it intentional but it was fast, it was dramatic and people noticed. I ate very little and I did eat junk food occasionally. As an example it wouldn't be uncommon for me to work from 9am in the morning until 8 at night, not eat a thing and then get a sub from subway for dinner and that would be it or have a burger for lunch and then a couple of slices of pizza for dinner. That 2 months where I lost the weight is known at work as "Holy Hell Months" It starts mid June and everyone works 12-14 hours a day and everyone is on their feet all day with zero down time. We can work 7 days a week if we want during "Holy Hell Months" Anyways I'm digressing again. The point is rapid weight loss works (for me anyway) but the reason the weight comes back is because I revert to my old habits which I am determined not to do anymore.

I'm going to post a recap of the high's and lows of the past 9 days on Isagenix in the next post and then do a day by day log. I really hope by journeying my weight loss it will help me focus, stay on track and not revert back to my old habits when the weight is gone

colossk

For those of you that don't know what Isagenix is, 99%of the program is replacing 2 meals with shakes and then eating a low glycemic meal for dinner or lunch of around 400-600 calories. It also has 4 days where you cleanse,( one each week) not eating a thing at all during those days and drinking some awful tasting juice they give you 4x a day to flush your system. You are also supposed to eat 2 snacks a day which they provide. They are about the size of a quarter and they are supposed to taste like chocolate but in reality they taste like chalk. Along with those snacks that taste like chalk, I'm supposed to take 2 capsules of something called an accelerator (think of a large pill) each day as well as 30 ml of something called Ionic Supreme which tastes like a more concentrated version of the awful juice which makes it taste even worse.

I also chose to start this 4 days before Christmas which was probably not the best time. My wife told me to wait until boxing day as it will be hard with all the treats around and I thought about it but decided against it as in my mind I was procrastinating again and I was really in the right frame of mind to start. I began on Dec 21st. I'll give more detailed day by days in follow up posts but here are the highlights of my past 8 days

Dec 21st
Starting Weight 237.0

Dec 28th
Weight 227.1 (-10 lbs down in first week!)

Day 1- It was very easy to follow, I had no issues. Had roast chicken and peas as my non shake meal

Day 2 -It was also very easy to follow, no issues. Although I started having to pee more that day. i didn't have any veggies that day as they didn't really go with dinner. I had 1 & 1/2 egg mcmuffins for dinner (whole wheat english muffin, egg, 1 slice peameal bacon and cheese) Side note if your kids hate eggs like mine all do, they don't notice it when you cover it with cheese, peameal bacon and of course ketchup:) They like these even thou they normally run when they see eggs at the table

Day 3- Same with the first 2 days with the exception that I had to pee constantly. That night while sleeping I literally got up to pee about 10x during the night which was extremely irritating not only to myself but to my wife as well. Normally I don't get up at all during the night. Dinner was the same as day 2, more Egg mcmuffins

Day 4 - Christmas Eve. I Figured this was going to be a hard day and the test of my willpower. Every year we host a Christmas Eve dinner with about 20 people. Snacks everywhere. Lasagna, meatballs, pastas, chocolates, pastries, cookies you get the idea. I changed things up this day. I had a shake for breakfast and then a chicken pita from Pita Pit for lunch, no cheese no sauce. I didn't want to give myself the excuse or chance to slip up and eat more than I should for dinner so I decided to have a shake for dinner. People asked what I was doing, I told them I was watching my weight and was doing shakes. I didn't mention Isagenix as I didn't want questions. I surprised myself that day, I had no issues with willpower at all and made it thru the day strong.

Day 5 - Christmas day. This was going to be harder then Christmas Eve to get thru as there would be temptation at every turn but I was determined. We wake up Christmas morning and sit down to our traditional breakfast of Cinimon rolls and doughnuts bought the day before. I make my shake and all is good, we proceed to open our stockings at which point my wife looks at me and tells me that the gifts were bought before she knew I was doing Isagenix. In my stocking was my traditional Toberlone bar, chocolate letter and other candies. Not even 8am and I have donoughts, candy and chocolate staring me in the face. We finish our stockings and gifts and I'm kept busy putting together toys that Santa brought the kids until lunch. Kids keep munching on junk food in fornt of me, chocoalte, gingerbread house, gummi bears whatever was around. I managed to not let it bother me. Around 2pm I make a shake for lunch and then was kept busy until dinner came with my kids and any company that dropped by. Dinner came and I figured it would be easy. I was planning on having peas and turkey, with a little bit of gravy and 1 homemade roll that my wife makes however my mother in law had other plans. She was not told I was doing Isagenix and proceeded to plop out my favorite desert right in front of me that she made because she knows I like it. Everyone helps themselves to the smorgasbord of deserts laid out in front of us and I sit in my chair pretending like i didn't care while there was a massive war raging inside of me. I did break eventually and had a very small bowl of Apple Crisp, I felt guilty at first but then thought to hell with it, it's Christmas! Managed to get thru the rest of the evening with no hiccups.

Day 6- I wake up and my wife threatens divorce if I don't stop peeing in the middle of the night so much. Secretly I hope that the peeing slows down as I'm going all the time due to the water intake. The rest of the day was pretty routine. With all the temptations out of the way the day was easy. 2 shakes and leftover turkey and peas for dinner. No cravings that day, as silly as it sound I think that little piece of apple crisp helped placate me for a while

Day 7- This was my cleanse day, no food or shakes. Just water and 4 servings of that awful tasting concentrated gook to cleanse the system. I figured I would be starving that day but I had no issues with hunger at all. I wasn't sure what to expect toilet wise since it was a cleanse day but I never had to go at all and I happily noticed my peeing started to slow down a bit. I also started to think I felt lighter but wasn't sure if that was my imagination or not.

Day 8 - First weigh in day.I got out of bed, undressed and got on the scale. What I saw was shocking. I was down 10 lbs. I went from 237 to 227.1. There's that motivation boost even though I know a lot of it was water weight but regardless for motivation, there is nothing better! I was very happy and the rest of the day went by like the previous days with 1 exception, I was STARVING! I'm assuming this is because I ate nothing at all the day before but I was really hungry all day and even more so in the evening. I persevered and pushed thru the hunger. For dinner I ate leftover turkey, broccoli and some gravy. Peeing seems to have leveled off some more. I'm guessing my body is getting used to all the water.

That's my journey so far. Today is one of those days where my wife is doing her 12-12 shifts. Normally I would be binging today and ordering pizza while my kids are in bed but today I've stuck with it and have no cravings at all which is great!

colossk

Day 9

Today was pretty routine had my 2 shakes for breakfast and lunch and had pork cutlets and peas for dinner. I need to buy another veggie besides peas as I'm getting tired of them. I also find myself making the chocolate flavored shake as I like it the best which could end up being a problem towards the end of the 30 days if I don't start using the other 2 flavors, Vanilla and Strawberry. I really don't like the strawberry & I don't want to drink just those 2 flavors during my last 7-10 days so I will have to space out the Chocolate a bit.

Tonights menu is Roast beef and peas again:( Going to the grocery store first thing tomorrow morning to pick up some different veggies!

Tomorrow will most likely be a challenge again as it's New Years Eve and we always have a few people over, order pizza and watch movies and play cards.. Ya I know, we are soooo boring but my wife and I really don't want to wake up with hangovers on Jan 1st and have to deal with our super hyper 7 year old son while nursing a hangover

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MarkaStone

Sounds like your head's in the right place to do this. You just need to get over the same hurdles that everyone else and that's not the very start where you're all keen but after a short while when your resolve wavers a little. I've been there it can get, for want of a better word, tricky. You talk about all the water. Trust me when I say drinking water is one of the best aids to weight loss imho. Something I've decided to do is not to outlaw any foods. If I want a certain food (Pizza comes to mind) then I'll have it. You just don't need to eat loads of it or choose the vegetarian option. Good luck with your journey and I hope you manage to keep at it to get the results you want.

happyauntie2015

Sounds like your on the right track! I'm glad you have found what will help you reach your goals. I had to laugh when I read every veggie you ate were peas because well it's my favorite and my poor hubby has tired of them sooo we haven't had peas in weeks lol. Keep up the great work!!

MichelleWispinski

You are doing great! I am so impressed you started before Christmas and maintained your resolve. Keep up the good work!! I started Dec 28th on Isagenix. I am having no problems, and I actually love the shakes, except vanilla, like you. I wish I ordered more Chocolate! lol Not that the vanilla tastes bad, I am just not a "vanilla" person. I too was surprised that the Cleanse days were not starving me, but I was VERY hungry the next day and really had to reign it in to stay on track. My hubby is doing Isagenix as well and loving it. So much energy and overall feeling better and between the two of us we are down 15 lbs in the last two weeks No complaints here!