mini rant re: mother in laws and cake!

RebekahR84

Reading through all of these posts, my GOODNESS I hit the jackpot with my mother-in-law. She is so supportive and accomodating!

nfpswife

I am going to respond simply because I endured life with my mother-in-law for 3 years in my own home and it was torture. I have seen posts such as yours and responses from people -advising the poster that no one is trying to sabotage, and give the MIL a break and just say no, and so on. My response is to support you, and encourage you to laugh (ya you heard me) laugh when your MLI claims she made a chocolate cake for your and laugh like you think she is joking and you are in on the joke (based on your communicated wishes). This is the only way I survived a lot of things with my MIL, and I don't know what crazy hormone it is that makes moms of men go Cruella Deville on the women they married, but with some men's moms it is ridiculous. I told myself that the hormone malfunction was so strong that they were not in their right mind.
Hang in there, do your workouts, and be proud of your determinism. If you can overcome her, imagine how easy some other challenges will be in this journey.

This. Your MIL might not be evil OP but ask yourself if it were your hubby on a diet would she be baking a cake?

Yes...yes mine would...and his favorite brownies, cookies, breads and a steak on top of it all.

nfpswife

I feel your pain, but I can honestly say my MIL does it because she just doesn't understand dieting. She eats what she wants, when she wants and stays the size of a twig. Both my future SIL and I are dieters and she is flummoxed that our entire meal does not include bread, butter, fatty dressings, potatoes, gravy, etc.

I've grown to accept it, smile and say "No thank you"...she's been getting better about accepting that while YES, I DO want that piece of cake, my willpower is bigger than my craving (sometimes) and it's not a matter of insulting her.

Plus my hubster will eat the entire damn cake anyway.

trophywife24

This is reason #3989 that you don't mention you're on a 'diet'. Ever. To anyone. Ever.

kellehbeans

My MIL to be (one day, perhaps) has MASSIVE portions. She has no sense of portion control, even being with Slimming World. For her night time snack, she will have cheese, salad, crackers and coleslaw. Sounds great, right? No. She has a whole block of Brie (about 350g-500g), a whole tub of coleslaw and about 6-8 crackers - and very little salad as she still uses a small plate.

She is exactly the same with her dinners that she does for me. The amount of lard she uses on her roast dinners is criminal and try not to eat all day so I can keep within my calorie goal!

She does try to help my OH with losing weight with 2 large tortilla wraps, plenty of protein and salad. But what she doesn't get, is that those wraps are pretty calorific. She'll then throw in Mr Kipling slices etc. etc. I have to dictate what I want for dinners or lunches or I will end up this way too.

EDIT: Spelling mistake

battyg13

shes a saboteur. i hate people like that.

every one i work with is always trying to get me to eat junk. and my boss always makes snide comments that i dont eat. no i just live a healthy lifestyle you moron.

i dont want to end up fat, obnoxious and with a woman who is a pain in the *kitten* like you. haha

earndien

i feel your pain, my mother inlaw hasnt got any heathly foods like fruit or veg in her house
when we get there, its always MEAT, rice and patotoes!!
and it sometime gets too me like realy when do u get your veggies in

lsmsrbls

it's not necessarily sabotage. some people view diets as purgatory, and helping you to cheat on your diet as a kindness, because they're giving you what you really want which you're denying yourself. they think they're doing you a favour when they offer you delicious food. It says a lot about their own attitude towards dieting. For these people, saying something like "oooh how delicious, but I just ate so I'll have a small slice" works a lot better than "I'm only having a small slice because I'm on a diet" because the first one, they see that you really don't want a larger slice, the second one is interpreted as "oh, I'd love to have a really big slice but I'm being good and denying myself something that I really want" - to which they'll respond by giving you permission to have what you really want, i.e. encouarging you to take a larger slice. So have a whole bunch of reasons why you're eating small servings or saving something for later, and that kind of thing, and don't mention anything about diets, being good, etc.

This is very insightful! And it makes a lot of sense. Thank you for your excellent explanation.

lilbearzmom

Reading through all of these posts, my GOODNESS I hit the jackpot with my mother-in-law. She is so supportive and accomodating!

Treasure her. seriously. I am always so envious of women with good MILs. I have one that is not-so-good. To put it nicely.

rachseby

I don't know what crazy hormone it is that makes moms of men go Cruella Deville on the women they married, but with some men's moms it is ridiculous. I told myself that the hormone malfunction was so strong that they were not in their right mind.

I hope you have a son someday!

I have 3, and am going to be a lot nicer to their significant others than my MIL is to me!:flowerforyou:

QueenofScott

Just have to chime in, as a mother-in-law! I'm not a food pusher.....don't give us all a bad name;) I make it my business to stay out of others' business. I don't offer unsolicited advice or try to sabatoge anyone elses diet. I only give my opinion when asked, and even then, VERY CAREFULLY.