Binge Eating. How do you get past the past?

Sgt_Pepper33

I'm fairly certain I have binge eating disorder, or at least I have some very unhealthy symptoms that point to psychological problems and eating combined. I eat in secret. When I know I am going to be alone, I plan on eating
a LOT of food that I normally feel like I am unable to eat in the presence of others. I understand the reasons I do this. I see how I was treated as a child about my own weight by peers and especially my mom. I have worked on this and other issues due to depression and anxiety with counselors. I've been in counseling for 11 or 12 years now. However, I still cannot figure out how to control this, or how to change my own views towards health. I know part of the issue is that for certain health reasons, I have been living with my parents for the past year. My mom is my best friend, but the food thing is a constant struggle between us. I guess I'm just looking for advice from others who have this disorder or who have some kind of issues due to eating and their childhood. If working with a counselor hasn't helped yet...What can? Any advice or success story or encouragement is greatly appreciated! Also, please excuse the length of this post; I majored in writing and can be a little long-winded I have been told.

mactaffy428

I'm sorry you are having difficulties. I don't have BED and can't really offer any suggestions. I just wanted to give support. Maybe you can talk with your counselor on tips or suggestions? I wish you luck in dealing with this.

Sgt_Pepper33

Thank you for your support! I value kind words just as much as advice

acarpenter6

I struggle with BED. I have since I was about 9. When I was 12, I put myself on an innocent diet due to the comments my mom made about my weight. I was about 150 at the time and around 5', so not extremely big. It was so simple until my mom told me I wasn't losing it fast enough and to go on a low carb diet. So I did and started depriving myself of everything. Soon, it became too much, and I binged. Before I knew it, BED turned into Bulimia, so I could "have my cake and eat it too". The purging continued until I met my now husband at 17. With his help and understanding, I've stopped throwing up and haven't done it in almost 4 years. While that was HUGE for me, I still have BED. Its a constant struggle everyday, but one thing that has helped me is asking myself if the choices I'm making now will make me happy in the future. Instant gratification just isn't worth it in the long run.
I know it's not much advice, but I just wanted to post and let you you're not alone and we can beat this!

cnbbnc

I suffered from BED. The thing about these issues is that of course the food is not the issue. The problem that's fueling the bingeing is. In my case it was the end of my marriage. You have to identify the root cause and deal with it in order to move forward. Something is driving you to it. You can overcome it though.

cnave99

I also have BED. I use a twelve step program to help me emotionally (free therapy if you can buy into it) and I use MFP to help me with the physical.

Good luck! And keep at it.

kbarrett0701

I don't know about you, but whenever I'd binge, I'd always say afterwards it wasn't worth it and how awful I felt. How I looked at it, was the negativity it gave me. I haven't binged since I started my journey 1/6/15 and I've lost 155lbs.

mellowadam

Recovery is possible! I started working with a therapist who specialized in Eating disorders. I've been in recovery for almost two years now. Totally changed my life. So much happier. I also go to support group meetings. It helps to have people around you who get it when everyone seems oblivious.

elpint0r

I was diagnosed with BED & Bulimia... The only thing that helped me was checking myself into an inpatient residential treatment center for 4 months. (Renfrew Center)

Absolutely SAVED my life. I would look into doing something like that where you are fully immersed in changing your behaviors.

jennilynnjohn

We have the same thing in common Sgt_Pepper 33. I binge also trying to fill a void or something? I haven't figured it out yet.

Sgt_Pepper33

Thank you so much for all your feedback, everyone. I do really appreciate it. It's nice to know that there are people who have struggled with this but have also overcome it. After reading through these, I seriously am considering looking into a therapist that deals exclusively with disorders such as this. I live in a small town/country area, so it may take some digging, but I feel like it's a good direction to look into. @acarpenter6 the beginning to your story sounds very similar to my own. I believe my first diet was at the age of 8, prompted on by my mom, and looking back at photos, I see that I did not have a big weight problem at that time. It saddens me a bit; I don't think childhood is a time for counting calories and stepping on a scale every single day. It became an obsession, and it just continued to progress with passing years.

SLE0803

1. Seek professional help
2. I would recommend Overcoming Overeating by Lisa Morrone. She helps dive into the "whys"

I struggle as well and am utilizing 1&2 to help me.

dark_sparkles37019

Ugh, I ate too much today. I ate within my calorie range at first... but then I had to dip crackers into leftover chili on the stove, a sundrop, and spicy nacho doritos...

Sgt_Pepper33

It's okay, @dark_sparkles37019. I ended up going waaay over yesterday! But started anew today. We got this!

emjam99

I struggle with the same thing, I've gotten to all time lows where I still can't get over when I binged on Easter, it feels like you're always going to feel ashamed and while you may not be proud of
It as time goes on you have to start focusing on your new, healthy habits to push forward. Focusing on my disorder is what helped me move on

TigerLily100

I have struggled with binge eating, especially chocolate!
So will follow with interest as it's a bad habit I need to break, if I. don't want to later regain what I loose this time around.

jbeth30

I know this seems counterintuitive but I know that for me fasting helps. My binge eating would always happen at night...so now what I do is fast until lunch or even dinner so that at night my dinner is huge! My calorie allowance is 1500 a day. So sometimes I will eat 500 at lunch and 1000 for dinner. If I know I am going out For dinner I will try to eat it all at dinner. It gives me that really full feeling without going over my calories for the day and I don't feel restricted because usually with eating all the calories at once you can pretty much eat what you want. I think for me binging starts with a feeling of deprivation and or not achieving that really full feeling with my dinner meal. I can have what I want and I am still losing weight. It might not work for you and might even be totally inappropriate for even suggesting a fasting time for this post so if it is I apologize in advance...I just thought to share what works for me. I know everyone is different in the reasons of binging...so learning yourself and learning how to space out your allowed calories through the day might help. I can't graze all day or eat smaller meals...for some reason that triggers binging for me...sort of weird.

SCoil123

Recovering bulimic/binger here. I got therapy and worked through the EDA 12 step workbook for disordered eating. The combination saved my life. Please know you are not alone and recovery is possible.

arbolesta1

Hey OP. You sound like me almost to a T. I eat in secret like a sneaky food troll and plan my binges hours or even days ahead of time. It feels like I'm completely out of control and once the thought of having a huge binge session takes hold, there is no willpower to stop it. In that moment, binging feels like the only thing that will bring me comfort and relaxation, though I always end up hating myself after. While my mother and I are very close now, my weight was a source of much "concern" and cruel remarks growing up. I hope you are able to overcome it. I've been fighting it for years. While I haven't defeated it myself, I noticed that the severe restriction and overexertion I use while dieting and exercising generally lead me to binge again within 1-2 weeks. Try your best to have balance and don't be too hard on yourself if you relapse. I don't generally follow my own advice, of course, but that's my two cents. I also suggest therapy with someone who deals specifically with disordered eating like this, not just anorexia and bulimia. Good luck

flagrantavidity

Breaking habits is the suck, I'm not sure what can be said except that I support your efforts.

The act of trying to find way to better yourself is a step in the right direction and I applaud you for it. Keep going, I wish you the best of luck.

Carebear199125

I didn't know there is a disorder for that but I feel your pain. My struggle is at night and I wait til I'm alone. My weakness is sweets. I can eat and eat and usually don't stop until I feel sick and/or I see myself in a mirror and feel disgusted. That's where my weight gain came from.