what is wrong with me?

toasteure

have you ever feel so bad about yourself?
don't want to go out, just want to stay at home in sweat pants.

i really feel like that these days. when i leave the baby and the boyfriend in the morning, i feel so empty, so sad.
i really really try to motivate myself to go to the gym but i feel so tired; so lazy and with a neverending headache. and i feel sad to be like that.

what is wrong with me? is that depression? i'm scared.

my baby is 21 months old. since the day he was born, i tried to lose that baby weight. it's not working. i used to be motivated, i lost 40lb 5 years ago.

i really hate myself. i can't look at myself anymore. I hate what i see...

what can i do? i really don't like that.

i'm getting married in October. I want to feel good about myself. i want to love myself like i used to.

Prince_of_Mind

Only a doctor could tell you if it is depression but I do highly recommend seeing one.
I spent the majority of 2016 with depression so if it is depression, you need to speak to your GP.
I know it's not the most pleasant of conversations to have but they can help.

toasteure

I actually feel like crap for 3 weeks now.

I didn't spend the year like that.

Prince_of_Mind

toasteure wrote: »

I actually feel like crap for 3 weeks now.

I didn't spend the year like that.

I believe it needs to be a minimum of 2 weeks to be diagnosed with depression.

leanjogreen18

I'm sorry you feel that way!

Talking to your Dr. would be best especially since you have a baby you need to be there for to rule out depression.

Have I had days like that yes for sure, but they are not lasting. I'm usually able to change my negative thoughts about myself though they creep up from time to time.

The only think I can recommend that helped my mood tremendously was getting outside and walking. I downloaded my fitness pal and tracked my walk. It was 15 min and I was outta breath and done, I slowed added 15 min a day until after a month or so I was walking a mile or 2. Not running, not walking fast just walking 3 times a week.

I felt better.
I saw myself progress which gave me confidence to move on to more physical things and get control of my diet. I went from I can't to I CAN.

Get out and take a small walk with some great upbeat music and see how you feel.

Most importantly talk to your Dr.

LynchusDaVincus

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. It sounds like your self esteem is about as low as it can get right now. I went through a similar stage after having my son.

I was diagnosed with post-natal depression, but on top of that I used to take this out on myself and my body image.
Obviously feeling tired can be a normal part of being a busy mother, but if you feel it is excessive and coupled with other issues, I would advise you talk to someone, like your doctor, and they can advise you or refer you to someone who might be able to help.

But also, please remember, to love yourself. It is perfectly OK to take some time for you, to relax and be yourself.
For me, this all passed, but it took time, and I struggled with my own thought processes. I still have an issue with my body image but since I addressed the depression, I have a lot more control over it.

I'm sorry I can't be of much help here, but I absolutely hope that you find the strength to get through this feeling and get help if you need it.

jennybearlv

Talk to a therapist about your self esteem issues. It could do wonders for your mood and motivation. A therapist can also diagnose depression and refer you to a doctor if need be.

cebreisch

It could be a lot of things. Find a therapist. When I first started on this path, the bariatric surgeon I spoke with set me up with a therapist, and I've been seeing him since, even though I didn't have the surgery. Like other's have said, if it is depression, then a doctor can prescribe something for you. I have a hormone imbalance and one side effects is depression. I've been taking something for it for several years now and it really does help "take the edge off".

It's really helped having someone to talk to that isn't my husband, sibling, parent, whoever. It's also helped that he's lost a significant amount of weight too - so he knows what I'm going through in that realm too.

quiksylver296

Is it winter where you are? Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? My mom has that. Using a Vitamin D light can help.

annaskiski

Losing weight is about how much you eat, not about exercise.
If you can't exercise now, just worry about maintaining your deficit.

Walking/playing with your baby are exercise. How about some yoga videos at home?
Start small....

namelesshere

You may need to see a Dr. but I think you are just overwhelmed with the responsibilities of the baby, getting married, etc. Don't worry so much about the "baby fat" but celebrate that you have a healthy child you want to be there for. Take little steps. There is nothing wrong about lounging all day in sweats. If you are working (and most people do) dress for success during the week and look forward to your "sweats" day where you can play with your child and not worry about clothes. If you have a difficult time getting to the gym, maybe it is time to invest in a stationary bike or treadmill for home. That way you can enjoy your child, set a good example and still get your workout in. The headaches are a worry. Take a look at your eating and see if there are any triggers. Caffeine will be one, as will some of the artificial sweeteners but you may have a different intolerance that is causing those. Talk to your DR. You shouldn't be feeling like this.

isumak

Hi. Sorry you're feeling low. A doctor's visit is probably a good idea to rule out depression or another physical cause for your sadness. I'll recommend 2 books. The first is "The Untethered Soul". It may help you to stop the negative self-talk that can make us our own worst enemy sometimes. Also, I would check out Dr. Yoni Freedhoff's blog, "Weighty Matters" and possibly his book, "The Diet Fix". He's a bariatric physician who is as hard-nosed and sceptical a scientist as you could hope for when evaluating what works and what doesn't in weight loss, but who is also a savvy, caring psychologist who knows how much misery we can inflict on ourselves when our bodies fall short of our expectations. As for home exercise programs, I have restarted following the Turbulence Training videos after having recently regained 20+ pounds I lost last year (which sucks). I'm back at Intro level after making it to Intermediate (sigh). Anyway, they're cheap, effective, not time-consuming and I find them motivating. I have no financial interest in any of these products, but I do think they're good value and may help. Best wishes.

meeshymoosh

When we have children our bodies go through a lot of different changes: hormones, especially. It could be possible that you are still "hungover" from these changes, including Postpartum Depression, general mild to moderate depression, or even just Seasonal Affected Disorder.

The trouble is, people feel sad or get in "funks" often. It can be hard to distinguish a funk to when there is a chronic problem. When you are having cycling self-hatred or negative thoughts constantly, or consistently, and it prevents you from quality of life for a long stretch of time (2 weeks is a good stretch), or you are sad, sometimes "for no reason", have emotional outbursts, or even more severe symptoms such as suicidal thoughts, it is time to seek out help.

A therapist can help redirect some unhealthy though processes and teach some coping mechanisms. Every two weeks or even monthly meetings can help put things in perspective, and help you work on your anxiety and self-image through the lenses of a licensed professional. A doctor might be able to provide a prescription for some mood stabilizers, which could give you the break in your mental funk you need to motivate you to do good things for yourself: moving around, go outside, make snowballing changes.

No matter what, understanding that how you feel now is not forever is important, and every day is a step forward in a big picture.

codename_steve

That does sound a lot like depression or, like previously mentioned, SAD if it only occurs during winter. See a doctor and/or therapist. Medication and talking to someone helped me a lot. Focus on your mental healthy and losing the weight will eventually follow.

kshama2001

quiksylver296 wrote: »

Is it winter where you are? Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? My mom has that. Using a Vitamin D light can help.

Ya, I take an anti depressant in the fall/winter and go off it once gardening season really kicks in in the spring. I get my vitamin D levels tested and supplement.

I force myself to walk outside at lunch time no matter how cold and if it's raining, go to the gym. Exercise is equally as beneficial for me as the Welbutrin, but it's often hard to get going. Again, if I lack motivation, I force myself.

toasteure

Thanks for your good words. I really really appreciated it.

I'm from Canada.
We'll leaving saturday morning to go to St-Marteen, Caribbean for 2 weeks.
I missed travelling, maybe that would help to see something new, leave differently, etc..
I'll talk to a doctor when i'll come back if i don't feel better.


My fiance agreed to go to the gym with me and to help me with my self esteem.
he's a keeper.


thanks to each of you; I'll be back in a few weeks to tell you how I feel after this family trip. xxx

cerise_noir

quiksylver296 wrote: »

Is it winter where you are? Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? My mom has that. Using a Vitamin D light can help.

This...it is awful here!

avskk

I second everyone who's suggested you see a doctor. It doesn't matter what the label is, necessarily -- what matters is that you're miserable, and you don't deserve it. You do deserve to feel better and you deserve any and all help you need to get there. I hope your vacation helps, and if not, I hope you have an excellent doctor and tons of support from your boyfriend and family. Best of luck to you.

trigden1991

If you suspect you have depression then I would suggest speaking to a professional asap.

Regarding weight loss, you can do it. You just need to set up MFP with your correct stats, input a realistic weight loss goal (0.5-1lb/week) and eat whatever you want to meet your calorie goal. Accurate weighing and tracking is important but becomes second nature quickly.

magick099

Holy Cow.. this is so me!!! I did have depression... but I am not a depressed person. It was caused by situational stuff. Husband drinks everyday, I'm not employed, son is trying to be a drug addict, my weight. When this started... I wish I could be that weight now. I was 150 at that point. It just got worse and worse. I stayed in my pajamas all day..watched TV, ate, slept. About 1/2 hour before my husband got home.. I would do the dishes. About 6 months ago... I realized I was in a dangerous rut. I saw no reason for me to live, my weight was at 195, I hated me, and resented everyone around me. I knew they helped put me in this condition. I went to the DR. Crying!! He put me on Welbutrin. 150 2x a day. After about a month.. I was off the couch... but still super tired...and not sleeping at night. Turned out I also have sleep apnea very bad! On a Cpap now. I feel great!!!! I have gained a few more pounds...due to quitting smoking and the holidays. I am not depressed, or fatigued... so, TV stays off and I stay busy....I clean, go for walks, I'm now driving for UBER...so I do that when I want. Also.. I joined a women's group through meet up.com. We play poker, go out to eat, do fun stuff. That has helped a lot!!!
You can not get your weight under control until you get yourself out of this rut! See a doctor. Welbutrin has been wonderful for me. Everyone is different. I would try that first... give it a few months to work though. When that works.. reach out to other women for social purposes. Not online...in real life. Join a moms group or something. Then tackle your weight. Sorry this is so long!!

toniti6er

Have your thyroid checked. Get a complete physical.

howndogg

What everyone else is suggesting is spot on - talk to your doctor. It sounds like it could possibly be depression. The lack of energy and headaches could be a symptom of depression, but the headaches could be an indicator of something else too! Definitely make an appointment with your doctor.

toasteure

Thanks guys! you're great!

I'll keep you up to date.