HELP! I need motivation & HELP. I'm begging!

plussiizeQUEEN

Hello.
My name's Summer I'm from Alabama.
I'm 5ft 11in
490lbs/ Several health issues.
I have no motivation and no clue where to start or how too start. I just dont know! I'm lost

galgenstrick

I would start by getting more active. Switch your eating habits to mostly nutritious foods. Try not to drink your calories or use lots of condiments. Once you get all that stuff taken care of you'll likely lose quite a bit of weight. Then, I would input your stats into this app/website and and figure out how many calories you need to maintain your weight. Then eat slightly less than that so you're losing about 1.5lbs a week. As you start losing more weight you want to slow it down to about 1lb per week.

allyhall1725

Well first take a deep breath! Start by trying to stay within your allotted calories from mfp and if that's a struggle right now make your goal 1.5 instead of 2 lbs a week. Try to see where your weak areas are like binging at night, eating too large meals, over indulgence in soda/fast food/junk food then just decrease or cut one a week if multiple. Start simple with exercise like parking far away from the store, taking the stairs, do 3 10 minute walks a day... I find motivation in success stories on here, you tube, and pinterest. But most importantly take it day by say and don't overwhelm yourself with the idea of eating chicken and vegetables for every meal or running a 5k. Good luck!

jgnatca

The tips in this book gave me focus and direction. I highly recommend it.

https://www.bullpub.com/catalog/Living-a-Healthy-Life-with-Chronic-Conditions-4th-Edition

courtneyfabulous

•Get a digital food scale.
•Purge your fridge, freezer, and cupboards of junk foods (soda, candy, chips, highly processed foods, etc). Keep a few of your favorites because you can probably fit in a few treats each day, but get rid of most of it so it's not a temptation.
•stock your fridge/freezer/pantry with whole real foods (veggies, fruits, greens, lean meats, potatoes, brown rice, sweet potatoes, yogurt, healthy snacks, etc)
•enter your stats into myfitnesspal and eat within the calorie goal it gives you. Make sure to weigh/measure everything and choose accurate items from the database.
•maybe get in some walks every day if you can. Exercise is not essential to weight loss but it's good for the muscles, circulation, health etc- but only do what you are capable of. As you lose weight and exercise becomes easier you can increase the types and intensity but don't worry about it too much at first.
•have patience! This is going to take a long time to lose the weight, and then you aren't done, it's just time to focus on maintaining. Weight loss is a long process and requires a lifelong commitment. But it is quite simple, as long as you keep to your calorie limit it will work!
•don't try to under eat. Your calorie goal already contains a deficit if you've set up your stats and goals properly.
•don't panic, you got this.

courtneyfabulous

Don't forget you can reach out if you have questions or need help or motivation. Add some friends on here for moral support

sakapona

plussiizeQUEEN wrote: »

Hello. I just posted the same discussion a few minutes before you! I'm in the same boat. Would you like to be partners in this and lose weight together as motivation?!!

Reaverie

plussiizeQUEEN wrote: »

Hello.
My name's Summer I'm from Alabama.
I'm 5ft 11in
490lbs/ Several health issues.
I have no motivation and no clue where to start or how too start. I just dont know! I'm lost

We cant give you our oil. At some point you will all of a sudden decide "enough is enough" and take that first step. When you are ready...

First, at your weight, you will lose it faster than those lighter than you. But give it one months time to see results as small tears in your unused muscles will cause inflammation and water retention as your body works to repair itself and train itself to accept the new sheriff in town.

Second, the best way to get discouraged when in constant pain and tired all the time, is to try to push yourself. Take it slow. One step at a time. One step is a step in the right direction. How much can you walk before you just have to sit down? If you can, download a pedometer. Walk around your back yard until you want to sit down. Its OK to turn your goal into several small ones. I have a goal of 2000 steps. It takes me 2600 steps to walk one mile. But lets be realistic here.. I am 300 lbs. 2000 steps is more steps than I have taken in over 4 years! However, you dont need to walk 2000 steps all at once. If you find all you can handle is 200 steps, then take those 200 steps. In 3-5 days, try to add a step to it. More if you feel confident. Or break it up throughout the day. 200 after breakfast, 200 after lunch, 200 after dinner.

Third, As others have pointed out, find your calorie intake to keep you at your current weight and eat less than that. You dont need a 1200 calorie diet right off the bat! I am starting at 1900 myself. My "at weight" intake for sitting on my duff is 2400. With my current walking regime it is 2800 but I found this rather ridiculous and choose to go with the duff mark. I THOUGHT I was eating less as I usually skip breakfast and lunch, but I was drinking my calories and overeating at dinner. So I calculated one night and found I had eaten and drank 3200 calories! It didnt LOOK like I did, but.. eh.. that explained a lot!!

Fourth.. friends can help. I will be happy to be yours if you like. Just ask if you dont know how to add me. Sometimes being accountable to another helps. It doesnt help ME.. cause I rebel when people tell me what to do.. But some people actually LIKE structure! Weirdos!

Reaverie

I dont know your age so I guessed at 35..cause..its close to my age and I rock and all.

So at 490, the calories you need to STAY the same weight if you dont do much is 2950.. (got this from two sites.)
So, try 2400 calories and walking what you feel comfortable with each day. Dont like math? Get meals that already have the calories on it.

Pay attention to how many servings in the package though. Like Ramen Noodles.. YUCK.. one package is 2 servings. If I recall it is around 190 per serving so 380 for an entire package. You can split this up if you like and decide which meal gets the most calories (the one you tend to eat the most on anyways) and prepare the night before what you want to eat.. Or if you are lazy like me.. Use the handy dandy food search thing here that this site has and just "click' and "add" and let it do all the hard work. You can even prepare tomorrows food that way. Just add it now and use it as a reference tomorrow.

JeromeBarry1

@plussiizeQUEEN , It is good that you have set your food diary to public.
Now, the thing to do is learn how to record your food accurately.

https://ndb.nal.usda.gov/ndb/search/list

This is the U.S.D.A. food database. The nutritional information there is accurate.

Yes, you'll need a digital kitchen scale eventually, but if money is tight for you I am not going to insist on it at this stage. Learn to log your food accurately. The myfitnesspal food database is cluttered with inaccurate entries. It's a little bit of work to find accurate entries or fix those which are inaccurate.

DO read the stickied discussions at the Discussions front page.
DO read the Success Stories often.
DO ask if you have questions.

This is an education, and you are going to learn. I speak for many when I say we want to help you succeed.

For today, January 6, put your best guess of the food you remember eating today in your diary for today, because today is the day to start.

jmwilson85

Hi Summer. First, i'd suggest seeing a professional nutritionist to get a good starting point of safe meal planning.
Here is my background: I have struggled with weight loss my whole life and have been fairly successful over the last 2.5 years (193 pounds down).
My advice: make a small change, once that is manageable add another small change and so on. For me exercising and healthy eating was too much and I would feel like a failure if I couldn't do both perfectly. I started by focusing on eating healthier and once I had that as a habit, I added a little exercise. I have a go-to plan of focusing on eating well when I am overwhelmed with doing it all. I also mess up all the time (ex: i gained 13 pounds over the holidays) but instead of eating horrible for days, I get right back on track.
Also, you cant think of it as a diet...it has to be a complete lifestyle change. My life, my mindset, my everything has been different the last 2.5 years. in order to maintain a healthy weight this is how i will have to be forever.
Good luck! If i can do it, so can you!

WickAndArtoo

Hi Summer, I find coming on here and reading health magazines very motivating. Health magazines are my favorite because they always have fun articles on healthy foods and help me decide what to buy in the store based on their health benefits.

For me it's easiest to make healthy choices if it's simple and easy... so the first step is to toss out all unhealthy/ processed foods and make a weekly trip to the store and buy only healthy foods.... and only eat foods you made or bought from the store. (Healthy being Whole Foods such as fruits veggies chicken breasts eggs etc).

At your weight just eating healthy foods and increasing your activity (walking for you) slightly will begin weight loss easily. Using a pedometer (I just look at the one that's automatically recording in my phone) and aiming to stand up and do a lap around the house/block/your workplace every hour will get you started off great.

Good luck, I am more than happy to help keep you motivated or answer questions!

skellymama1

plussiizeQUEEN wrote: »

Hello.
My name's Summer I'm from Alabama.
I'm 5ft 11in
490lbs/ Several health issues.
I have no motivation and no clue where to start or how too start. I just dont know! I'm lost

Welcome Summer.
If I were you I would keep things very very simple to start with.
Set up your stats and work out your calorie goals.
Buy a digital food scales.
What foods do you like to eat?
You can still eat the foods you like and incorporate them into your daily food goals. You need to food prep and food plan.
Just start with walking around the block if you can . 10 or 15 minutes, then add on 1 or 2 minutes each day. It really is that simple to start with.
There are lots of really helpful threads on mfp for newbies. Just keep it simple there is no need to over complicate things for yourself.
You can do it, it won't be easy and you will have setbacks but just keep logging and counting calories and it will work.
Best of luck to you.

JustSomeEm

@plussiizeQUEEN - first, welcome to MFP. You've already started - you came here.

The first thing I did when I decided to lose weight was not worry too much at first about HOW I was going to do it. I came to MFP and committed to logging all my food. It was eye opening how much I was eating. I didn't immediately make any changes, I just logged all my food. After a while, I found myself almost by accident making different, lower calorie choices with regard to the things I was eating. The weight started dropping off thanks to my new awareness of the things I was eating. At this point, I wasn't exercising - I was only mindful of what I was eating. I managed to drop close to 30 pounds (so nearly half of the weight I needed to lose) before I decided I wanted to add exercise.

The second thing I did: AFTER I HAD A HANDLE ON LOGGING and what I thought I needed to do in the food department... I started walking regularly, which helped create a larger calorie deficit, which allowed me to eat more. After a while, I started a running program, and found I love running... which again allowed me more calories to play with. I love to eat, so more calories is a good thing for me. I've been maintaining a 70 pound loss for more than 2 years by paying attention to what I eat and tossing in exercise.

A quick note on motivation: You don't need it. What you need is to decide that this is what you need/want to do and stick with it even when it's hard. I run 4 to 5 days a week. You can bet your bottom dollar I don't want to go on all those runs, but I'm training for a race and I won't be ready if I don't do the training runs. I'm getting ready to head out in a few minutes for a run, and there's snow on the ground, it's dark and cold and I *really* don't want to. I"m doing it anyway because I know once I'm done I'll feel good (and my son is making blueberry pancakes this morning for breakfast... and I want some!). The trick with motivation is to set goals and try your damnedest to meet them... even when you don't feel like putting in the work.

Start small - maybe your first goal is to lose 5 lbs. Put in the work and get it done. You'll be proud of yourself when you make it (and you will). Then set the second goal. Maybe that's another 5 lbs or maybe it's 10. OR maybe it's walking a half a mile without stopping. Whatever the goal, set it, DO it (even when motivation is low), and feel the pride.

Jeez this post is long. So, TL;DR version: Set some SMALL goals for yourself. Work toward achieving them. Once they've been achieved, you'll find that you CAN do this. :flowerforyou:

Stella3838

Everyone has touched on some really great suggestions. I would just say that incorporating walking into your day is a great way to start exercising. Start with what you can do and add to it. A pedometer is a great investment. Also, drink water!! I've been terrible at this, but I'm finally on track and I'm amazed how much better I feel staying hydrated. Best of luck! You have support here when you need it, but you have to want this and get after it! So get it!!

estherjellybabe

plussiizeQUEEN wrote: »

Hello.
My name's Summer I'm from Alabama.
I'm 5ft 11in
490lbs/ Several health issues.
I have no motivation and no clue where to start or how too start. I just dont know! I'm lost

WARNING: LONG POST.

Hello Summer,

First of all I want to tell you that you are not alone and that we have all felt without motivation and without a clue, at some point. But you have done the most important thing, which is to realise that you need to do something about it! We're all on the same boat.

My name is Esther, I am from Malta (Europe). I am trying to lose weight since I have heart and lung problems, and family history of high blood pressure, cholesterol and diabetes. I want to live long and enjoy a good quality of life. Most importantly I have realised that I deserve to give myself care and good things, and that I deserve to have a high priority. I neglected myself for far too long and now I want to reverse that.

DISCLAIMERS: I AM NOT A NUTRITIONIST. Going to a nutritionist will help you learn what you should do, especially if you have many other health problems.

****

Here is what I did:

1. Enter this challenge knowing that this is going to be a change you will do FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, and that you will need to PERSEVERE. In other words, you will need to keep at it, even after you got one too many chocolate squares, even after a hard day at work, even when you are tired and hungry and sad. You are going to bounce back on plan immediately after realising what you have done wrong, and you will not give up just because of one bad day, or one bad meal...because you know you're not 100% perfect, and that's ok.

2. Take a good look at your pantry, freezer and fridge. Most of the food we get at supermarkets has added fat, oil, sugar, preservative, and artificial sweeteners. This has to go. That includes ready-made dinners, sauces, soups... Everything has to go out. If it's in the house you will likely fall for it in a moment of weakness. Give it to charity or family members without health or weight issues.

3. VERY IMPORTANT: the foods you should eat must be as close to their natural origin as possible.

This means that 75% of what you eat has to be:
- raw fruit
- vegetables; in large quantities and high variety. Eat many differently coloured vegetables, especially leafy dark greens.
- beans and lentils.
- brown rice, barley, seeds, quinoa, spelt etc.

Then 15% of what you eat can be:
- boiled potato
- wholemeal pasta (ONLY wholemeal)
- max. 3 slices wholemeal bread daily. (80 cal per slice. very dense)
- tofu
- seitan (NOT IF YOU ARE INTOLERANT TO GLUTEN)

Another 5% of what you eat includes a few nuts in your daily diet:
- e.g. 10 almonds per day OR 4 walnuts per day (NOT BOTH IN THE SAME DAY)

Finally the last 5% of what you may allow yourself would be:
- egg : twice a week ONLY (very high in cholesterol). This includes eggs used in home-baked meals.
- low-fat cottage cheese (2 spoonfuls per day)
- low-fat yoghurt WITHOUT SUGAR ADDED
- white fish and (ideally wild) salmon.
- chicken breast or chicken legs WITHOUT THE SKIN AND FAT.
- skimmed milk or soymilk

You should eat NONE of the following:
- beef, pork, lamb, rabbit, horse, goat, bacon, ham, gammon, prosciutto
- hard cheese, butter, full-fat milk, cream
- sausages, chicken wings, chicken nuggets, burgers, pizza, liver-pate, kidneys, liver, brain.
- Canned tuna, swordfish, shark, king mackerel, tilefish (high in mercury)
- any vegetable oil, margarine
- peanut butter (too concentrated and too easy to overeat, so best not to buy it)

Tips:
- drink a glass of water before starting your meal (fills you up more),
- eat to 80% of your stomach capacity (don't eat until full)
- eat slowly.
- brush your teeth after a meal, to let your brain know you are done eating.

Total water consumption per day is MINIMUM 2 LITRES.

Get a good night's sleep. It makes a huge difference.

4. After you adjust your body to eating clean (maybe a week or two), the next step is to learn how to count calories. Myfitnesspal is really perfect for this. Learn how to portion out food by weighing it. Get a good food-weighing balance. This takes some practice but most people get the hang of it really quickly, so don't give up. If in doubt you can always ask us here or look it up online if you're a bit old-school, keep a small notepad and pencil on you at all times and note down everything.

5. Determine how many calories your body burns every day, depending on your age, height, weight, activity level etc. Again Myfitnesspal does this for you, but you can google it and you'll find it in a few seconds. Then decide how many kgs you would like to lose per week or per month. My suggestion is to not go too fast because you will not be able to maintain this in the long term. I am personally doing 0.5kg per week (1.25 pound) with a sedentary activity level, and I feel it is very doable.

6. Set mini-goals along the way, and then the final end-goal. Psychologically, the power of goals is amazing. Hitting those milestones is really an achievement, and you really feel like you are doing something good for yourself. Do not set time-limits for your weight-loss. Forget about time-limits completely. This is going to be for life, so it takes the time it takes.

7. Count EVERYTHING. Even your cheat meals. Oh and when I say cheat meals I mean ONE MEAL, not a whole day of binge-eating (that can literally cancel out a whole week's worth of hard work and effort). And when I say "cheat meal" I mean WITHIN REASON. Not a whole pizza (3000 cals = one week of effort). A small plate of spaghetti with bolognese sauce and some grated cheese (700 cal) is probably a better cheat meal. An ice-cream is another cheat-meal. Not more than one of these cheat meals per week. Remember they are really not good for you, ideally you don't do cheat meals at all, but if you really must, keep it under control.

8. Think of calories like you're thinking of money in your savings account. Is it worth spending 400 calories on a bag of Doritos, when I can save that up for a big meal tonight where I can feel much more satisfied? Is it worth spending 250 calories on a chocolate bar, when instead I can have a breakfast of oats skimmed milk and blueberries which will keep me going till 1pm? If I overdid my limit today by 100 calories, I can go for a 45 minute walk and so I will earn back 200 calories.

9. Exercise: this is really important and many people neglect this because they're so focused on food (I'm guilty of this). I don't know what your level of fitness is, but I'm guessing it's low. Start with 15 minutes of walking every day for a week. Then the next week, do 20 minutes. Then the week after that add another 5 minutes. Keep within a reasonably comfortable level of exercise, do it 5 days a week minimum and stick to it. After hitting 40 minutes of walking you can start logging them in to Myfitnesspal. You will find that you can shave off 200 calories in one 45 minute walk - that's like two bananas or a small bowl of oats! Exercise is meant to keep your metabolism high and to build up stamina in your muscles. It is also very important for cardiovascular health and mental health. Getting 30 minutes of sun on your skin daily also ensures your body makes Vitamin D.

10. Get support from your friends and family and here on this forum. It is very important to get encouragement, and equally important to identify who is trying to sabotage or discourage you for whatever reason. Sometimes you will find that some people who you thought were friends, will actually start to act weird or sabotage your efforts; for example when they see you are eating healthily they will start making fun of you, or try to convince you it's useless, or that you don't have to, or on purpose eat something you really used to like right in front of you, just so they can see your reaction. Do not fall for this. It's cruel of them to be honest, and if they cared they would not find it entertaining to watch you suffer when you are trying so hard to do something good for yourself (saving your health). Imagine if there is someone hooked onto drugs who trying to be clean, and his friend tries to get him to use again. Everyone would agree that is not a good friend. Same for this scenario.

11. Don't weigh yourself every day. It fluctuates a lot, due to water retention. Also, you will have a lot of water retention just before and during your period, it's normal. Weighing yourself one or twice a week is probably more realistic.

12. In our fast-paced world, we sometimes want convenient solutions for healthy eating. Prepare food in bulk and freeze off portions of it. They come in very handy down the road when you've been working late and had no time to cook and are so hungry you could eat a horse just pop it in the microwave and there you go. Soups, home-made pasta sauces, vegetable patties and raw vegetables are very good freezer-candidates. You can also prepare food for three days in a row. e.g. I boil three days worth of rice, lentils and long green beans and just leave it in my fridge in sealable boxes, already portioned out. Very convenient, grab and go.

***
Once again I want to remind you that I am NOT A DIETICIAN and that you should primarily seek medical / nutritional help from professionals.

I hope you found my super long post at least a little bit helpful, Summer. Up til now I have lost 11.4kg (25 pounds), and I still have another 32 pounds to go. Please do feel free to add me as a friend on Myfitnesspal. I would like some friends here too I wish you the best of luck, you can do this! You deserve good health.

Take care

Esther

snowflakesav

The one thing that successfully motivates me on a sustained basis is imagining myself in the life my dreams. I always see myself in that better life as a thin active healthy person. I imagine wearing cute clothes and going on wonderful adventures.

If you relate to a movie star or celebrity imagine doing the things they do, having their cute clothes etc. it can be fun... you can do this on a long walk and make progress toward your goal.

I have maintained most of the weight loss for 10 years and many of the things I imagined actually happened to me. When I gained back 15 pounds this fall after an event out of my control I go back to that. right now I am imaging getting back into all my cute clothes and going to Rome.

dejavuohlala

Hi Summer

Well there is lots of advice above for you to absorb so I won't overload you anymore. Just to say be consistent, log everhing you eat and drink and any exercise.! Stay with it. Get a small group of mutually supportive friends on here, chose the ones that encourage and motivate you and that are honest. Good luck if you have any specific questions send a message or ask us.

estherjellybabe

I FORGOT TO ADD:

******

Under the list of things NOT to eat:
- Chocolate, chocolate spread
- Cakes, cookies, sweets, candy bars
- puddings, custard, pastries,
- Biscuits, crackers, cereal-bars
- Almost all commercially prepared breakfast cereals have lots of sugar added to them. (plain rolled oats are a natural tasty alternative especially when taken with fruit).
- Do not add sugar to any food and drink.
- Ice-cream, full-fat yoghurt, most yoghurts have added sugar in them.
- fruit-juices have high amounts of added sugar (even when they say no added sugar, its bull), and no fibre to keep you full
- Sodas/fizzy drinks/energy drinks; they have insane amounts of sugar and salt. Also avoid the ones with artificial sweeteners (aspartame, sucralose etc) since they may have a cancer-causing effect in the long term, so it's best to avoid them as much as possible).
- Alcohol: any type, any volume, ALWAYS has a lot of sugar and always has a lot of empty calories (1 glass wine = 200 calories!)
- Deep-fried foods, fries, oven-baked wedges, roux-based sauces, white creamy sauces, ketchup

Learning to read food labels is extremely important, you will quickly be surprised by how much oil, fat and sugar lurks in commerically prepared foods.

Notice that most of the things in the list of what not to eat are things that have been processed, refined and very modified from their original natural state. Remember to eat foods as close as possible to their natural form.
********

Annie_01

WOW...at LOT of Do's & Don'ts!

OP...To start...all you need to do is to eat less and try to move a little more...even if that movement is only a 10 to 15 minute walk.

As far as how much you eat...use one of the calculators to help you figure that out.

If it was me and I had the health issues that you spoke of...talk to your doctor...ask if you can get referred to a Registered Dietician (not a nutritionist...anyone can take an online test and then call themselves a nutritionist). Your doctor and dietician can work together in dealing with your weight and health issues.

You didn't mention what your health issues were but don't let strangers on the internet diagnose how to fix those issues...see your doctor.

As far as what to eat and what not to eat...your health issues might dictate that so I won't recommend a diet to you...see your doctor.

For an otherwise healthy person the "Do's & Don't's" are strictly a personal choice based on what works for them.

Remember to start slow on your moving...don't feel as if you have to be jumping all over the place...lifting "heavy"...running marathons. Let your activity build up gradually until you are healthy enough to do more. Talk to your doctor about what you can and can not do. Until then...just move a little more each day. Walk...get up and down out of chairs...pick up stuff...and then put it back down. Work at your own pace...push "just a touch" harder the next day...maybe even the next week...just keep trying to do a little more.

Please...talk to your doctor...find a plan that works for you and your health issues.

UnicornAmandaPanda

Hello! Congrats on the start of your journey!! Two thumbs up for making the first step! You should definitely see your doctor, find a nutritionist or dietician to help you along the way. Just know that you CAN do this!!!! Start by moving a little more and eating a little less! Sending love your way!❤