I'm struggling to really get into it.

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britishbeau
britishbeau Posts: 60 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I WANT to lose weight

I NEED to lose weight

But when it comes to the crunch, I just can't seem to get there.

I HATE my body, but not enough it seems to choose water over soda.

I HATE my clothes, but not enough to not eat the cake.

I just can't get my head into it like I have before, last time it felt easy. I worked out every day, I got my *kitten* up and went to the gym before sunrise every day, and after long night shifts. I cooked, I planned meals, I ran loads. And I keep remembering how amazing and confident I felt, but this time I feel lost, unmotivated. I need the mojo back because I am disgusting. How do I get it back?
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Replies

  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    If you want to change habits permanently, you have to replace them with something you like just as much, or better. And to paraphrase the eminent PP, you can't keep doing good things to your body out of hate to your body.
  • Falcon
    Falcon Posts: 853 Member
    edited January 2017
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    it's a life style change but if you treat it like a diet then you end up binge eating tons of junk food.

    Allow yourself treats one to two times a week and don't beat yourself up over it. If you don't then you will be back to square one again.

    Allow yourself the occasional bad day off where you ate more then you should've and just start fresh the next day. Sometimes that one high calorie day can you give you a boost to lose more weight.

    Its a life style change, not a diet. It's time to change that mind set or you're going to fail.
  • trigden1991
    trigden1991 Posts: 4,658 Member
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    RunRutheeRun wrote: »
    If you want it badly enough you'll make the necessary changes to get there.

    I was going to write exactly this!
  • jelleigh
    jelleigh Posts: 743 Member
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    Hey many of us have been there! Don't worry , you can get your mojo back. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Set smaller incremental goals and incorporate them slowly. I know that I had a hard time getting into things when I expected that I SHOULD eat x number of calories AND it had to be x types of foods AND I had to work out like crazy AND etc etc. The idea of it was exhausting and overwhelming. And when I would try, If I missed one of the things, it made it so hard to keep up with all the others. So I started by setting a lower goal (1 lb per week) and JUST watching calories. Then after that got easier, I started small bits of exercise etc. I still have a ways to go, and I hope I end up half as motivated as it aounds like you have been in the past! You can get back Into things. You juat need to find the thing (motivation) that works for you. :)

    Also, for all those that say you need to work from a happy love yourself place: I totally agree that the sounds WAY nicer and mentally kinder. But a number of years ago I got in shape and I did it the entire time through tough love, and being motivated by negative feelings about myself. I hated what I was and wanted to do something to change it. And that felt positive and encouraging to me - taking control to do something about it. And when I hit my goal, I was in a great positive head space. I just think for my personality, I needed that.
  • daniip_la
    daniip_la Posts: 678 Member
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    gabbyo23 wrote: »
    trigden1991 wrote: »
    RunRutheeRun wrote: »
    If you want it badly enough you'll make the necessary changes to get there.

    I was going to write exactly this!

    Hmm yeah that is not true. Try telling this to the crowds of overweight and obese people in the world who cry themselves to sleep, refuse social interaction, refuse a love life and become depressed/suicidal because they hate the way they look. They don't want it enough, huh?

    Wanting something is in no way the same as being able to do it. I want to be a millionaire, I WANT to be taller, I WANT to do and be all kinds of things but it takes more then that. You don't magically gain the ability to reach your goals just because you want it.

    I understand how someone like you who is already successful at weight loss could believe it was all down to the fact you wanted it so badly. But I'm afraid that isn't the case. You posses skills that you have used to reach your goals. Maybe that's knowledge, determination, high self esteem, motivation or something else. It's most likely a unique combination of many things. But you didn't succeed ONLY because you wanted to.

    I'm one of those people you're talking about in your first paragraph. And I agree with @RunRutheeRun.

    You can't make yourself taller by eating less. We overweight/obese people crying about our weight can literally just make better food choices and lose weight.

    I can reach my goals if I want them badly enough. No one said it'll be easy, but it's doable.
  • murp4069
    murp4069 Posts: 494 Member
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    I agree with some of the previous posts. It can be daunting at first - so many of us start with the mindset that it's "all or nothing" and one slip up during the day ruins the whole day. Sometimes I would slip and eat a piece of cake or something at the office, and say screw it for the rest of the day and ate what I wanted. That's what got me overweight in the first place! Instead, realize that you ate the piece of cake, you enjoyed it, and it's time to move on. If you want to meet your goals, you can. Just take it one step at a time, one day at a time. If you slip up, that's ok, adjust your goals for the rest of the day (or week, depending on how you approach your calorie goals). Like others said, this is a lifestyle change, not a diet.
  • cbihatt
    cbihatt Posts: 319 Member
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    You need to start where you are right now, in this moment. It doesn't matter what you did in the past, or your perception of ease. The idea that you have about how easy it was in the past is likely interfering with your current attempt and making it even more difficult for you. I've been there, too.

    Start small. Think about what changes you can make that won't feel too difficult. Once you have those things mastered, move on to the next.

    Be nice to yourself and remember that you don't have to be perfect to succeed. You just have to do better today than you did yesterday.

  • RefocusedPowerhouse
    RefocusedPowerhouse Posts: 25 Member
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    I am glad about this lifestyle change...took me so long to get here...its the beginning and I already feel so much better. I hope to gain more discipline, enthusiasm, information, and consciousness about living---feels like I'm just now learning how to live. Glad to have you all with me.
  • French_Peasant
    French_Peasant Posts: 1,639 Member
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    gabbyo23 wrote: »
    trigden1991 wrote: »
    RunRutheeRun wrote: »
    If you want it badly enough you'll make the necessary changes to get there.

    I was going to write exactly this!

    Hmm yeah that is not true. Try telling this to the crowds of overweight and obese people in the world who cry themselves to sleep, refuse social interaction, refuse a love life and become depressed/suicidal because they hate the way they look. They don't want it enough, huh?

    Wanting something is in no way the same as being able to do it. I want to be a millionaire, I WANT to be taller, I WANT to do and be all kinds of things but it takes more then that. You don't magically gain the ability to reach your goals just because you want it.

    I understand how someone like you who is already successful at weight loss could believe it was all down to the fact you wanted it so badly. But I'm afraid that isn't the case. You posses skills that you have used to reach your goals. Maybe that's knowledge, determination, high self esteem, motivation or something else. It's most likely a unique combination of many things. But you didn't succeed ONLY because you wanted to.

    It most certainly IS true. There is a big distinction between wanting something to be served to you on a silver platter, otherwise known as WISHING, with the attendant magical silliness you reference, and wanting something badly enough (also known as determination/motivation, as you reference) that you are willing to roll up your sleeves, work and suffer (and eventually find great joy in that work, which now becomes discipline)...whether it is making money or losing weight.

    I 100% succeeded because I WANTED to, and not just because I sat around wishing, without putting down the fork and picking up the weights. I didn't lose much weight when I was just wish-wanting, but went from a size 12 (or worse in the winter) to a size 6-8 when I started want-wanting.

    OP, it sounds like you know exactly what you need to do, and you know how much work and discipline it requires. Personally, I would recommend adding one new thing a week or every other week. Start with accurately tracking your calories, because 80% of weight loss will be in the kitchen. That is the single most important thing you can do.

    If you have your calories under control, you don't need to spend every day killing it in the gym, unless that is something that you *WANT* to do. Next week, you could commit to doing a 45-minute bodyweight workout at home 2x a week, or pick up some 5 and 10 lb weights to use at home (I do 30 day shred and other Jillian Michaels routines when I can't make it to the gym) or start some fast walking/light running 2-3x a week.

    Whatever you do, make it a sustainable lifestyle so your weight stays off and you don't have to face that huge mountain once again. I think MFP is extremely useful for building a disciplined and thoughtful lifestyle.

  • noobletmcnugget
    noobletmcnugget Posts: 518 Member
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    Start small then it's not so overwhelming. Start just by tracking your calories, try to sub full sugar drinks for diet soda, maybe try to aim for maintenance calories just while you get back in the zone of logging, then aim for just a modest deficit. Don't cut out any foods, let yourself eat whatever you want within your calorie goals. Don't feel like you need to make yourself stick to a super strict and consistent workout routine, start out just by maybe walking more when you can. Ease yourself in and it'll be a lot easier :)
  • cross2bear
    cross2bear Posts: 1,106 Member
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    I think we can be overwhelmed by the scope of the issue - looking at it as losing 50 lbs (or whatever) when really, its just losing 1 lb over and over again! There comes a time when you want to have the you that is in your head and the you that you see in the mirror to match - I often say I was a runway model on the inside but trapped in a fat old ladys body!! But I'm down over 100lbs (one pound at a time) and while I will never be a runway model (seriously, what was I thinking?!) I am not a fat old lady any more - just old! That was a big part of my motivation - projecting who I thought and who I wanted to be, and not settling for a label that others put on me at first impression. I wanted to be in control of my life so much more than letting what had become of my life control me. You have to want it more than you want that next bite of whatever. Or staying in bed 30 minutes more. Its got to mean the world to you.

    I hope you find your moment, and your momentum again. Its in you!
  • jaynerz
    jaynerz Posts: 31 Member
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    I think if you just start by tracking your food, no matter what you're eating, it is a huge start. Just getting into that habit I think makes you more aware of what you're eating and it is really the first step. Don't put pressure on yourself to make huge changes yet, just start tracking everything. Maybe you will be more motivated to make small changes once you have it all in writing.
  • emilysusana
    emilysusana Posts: 416 Member
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    This may be weird advice, and may not work for you, but it has worked for me. I channel my love for food into a love for preparing healthy, new, delicious food. When I last got on the wagon (and I hope never to go off it again), I planned to expand my cooking repertoire. Then, instead of spending all day eating all the food, I allowed myself to continue to obsess over food for awhile but most of that was in the form of meal planning, cooking, preparing meals for the freezer, healthy treats, etc. When it came time to eat one of those healthy, but delicious meals made from whole foods, I was really able to savor it. When I thought I needed to keep eating, I'd just channel that desire into planning what's next. It's not sustainable forever, but it's a way to buy time while your body adjusts to the fewer calories and lack of junk. Then you'll enjoy what you eat even more, you'll have a bunch of reasonable calorie but delicious meals at your fingertips, and you won't be able to believe you ever ate differently. If you're not a foodie, now is a good time to become one. The eating is good on this side...
  • Duchy82
    Duchy82 Posts: 560 Member
    edited January 2017
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    1) You have to really want it and be determined to stick to it this is where a bit of self control comes in. (I get it, I've already had to resist toffees and chocolates since starting back at work last week but I had cake at home as a treat)

    2) start with small changes, swap soda for diet soda, have smaller pieces of cake, or if that big piece fits in your calorie allotment then hey, go for it

    3) If the above doesn't work, start with maintenance calories and slowly reduce or start with a small deficit. You can do it, you know if you go over for one day then log it, acknowledge it and move on.

    4) only you can motivate yourself, we can only encourage.

    5) finally, there is no rush, so what if it takes a long time? You are going to be around for a long time right? Even a 1/4lb less weight is better than carrying on gaining or staying the same.

    Edited to say I get it, I had no mojo to continue dieting last year so I stuck to just maintaining last year. This year I have decided to go for it and lose the last 11lb. Try and have something to look forward to when you get to goal weight (mine is a tattoo I've wanted for ages).
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    That's the question of the century. In 2011, I got "on it", then lost it - lost 143 and gained 100 over the past 6 years. Life happened in between and lost the mojo. It SUCKED. Just like you - I sat there thinking EXACTLY what you said. GOSH was it aggravating.

    Back in 2011, I had trouble walking from the parking lot to the door of my daughters school for one of their events. That was the first time I made the decision that I had to do something if I wanted it to change. This last time, what ended up doing it was that I have excess skin from the weight I've still lost (I'm still 44 pounds down and have excess skin on my thighs). I'm tired of it. SO have a new goal. I have to lose 150 pounds again so I can have the surgery to get rid of it. BUt even then, getting started was HARD.

    I ended up just starting logging. Had to do the mindset of "I have to log everything. If I don't, then this information is useless." So - started logging. Logging logging logging. Finally it set in - going to have to change the things I was eating and over the last 4 weeks, suddenly, it seems to have clicked in - although I'm still scared I'll lose it (to a degree).

    It really is a decision. All Yoda baby - Do or do not - there is no try.

    Hope you find your "why" soon.

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