120lbs lost
her4g63
Posts: 284 Member
It's long - sorry (:
I can almost still hear the whispers behind me, “She’d be so much prettier if she was skinny.” I can still see the two boys picking on each other and pointing at me saying, “That’s YOUR girlfriend!” I can remember the feeling of buying my first scale and stepping on it for the first time and seeing 256 pounds on that little screen.
Two-hundred and fifty-six pounds.
Me. All 5’2.5” of me.
I joined MFP sometime in September of 2011. I was determined to get this figured out and feel good about myself. I was under the assumption that if I hit a target weight, I would instantly love me.
I didn’t step foot into a gym, I was intimidated. I lost all of my weight by changing my diet. There was some cardio I added in here and there – walking a few miles a week if I could, parking in the furthest spot in lots, etc. Nothing too overly dramatic though.
In 2013, I hit my goal weight of 127 pounds. I thought to myself, this is it! I distinctly recall the thoughts I had when seeing myself without clothes on at my “ultimate goal weight.” Still not enough to go. Felt like I had to lose more. Everyone always made it seem like the number on the scale was the most important - nobody ever told me that it required a mindset change.
I found out I was pregnant in June 2013, had my second child in December. I was proud of the fact that I only gained 19 pounds in that pregnancy and was able to lose it quickly. Still logging my foods and keeping track the best I could.
Fast forward to today. A lot has happened since then. Previous relationships ended, new ones blossomed. Purchased and sold my first home. Started school again to work on my third bachelor’s degree. Diagnosed with kidney failure. Started a new job.
It took so much soul searching and deep thinking to understand that it’s not what the scale says – it’s a mental thing. Learning to love myself at face value was dependent on me, not my relationship with gravity. Being diagnosed wasn’t a punishment.
I’ve recently decided that I want to be strong. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy with myself. I’ve added in strength training (per my doctor’s orders at first and now because I want to) and am excited to see where this vessel known as my body takes me and how far I can push it.
I currently fluctuate between 133-136 pounds, depending on what time of the month it is, how much salt I’ve had, whether I ate too many tacos or not, etc. But honestly, none of that even matters anymore… It just feels good to finally start to be happy in the skin I’m in.
The best part about adding in strength training not too long ago was getting back the best bloodwork my body has had in well over a year. And that is a remarkable feeling.
Huge shoutout to four folks that have helped me out in ways I'll never be able to repay:
My incredible boyfriend, my two sweet girls, and my new mentor and friend, Alyssa (:
I don’t have many before photos because if there was one thing to avoid, it was the camera.
Before:
After:
After:
I can almost still hear the whispers behind me, “She’d be so much prettier if she was skinny.” I can still see the two boys picking on each other and pointing at me saying, “That’s YOUR girlfriend!” I can remember the feeling of buying my first scale and stepping on it for the first time and seeing 256 pounds on that little screen.
Two-hundred and fifty-six pounds.
Me. All 5’2.5” of me.
I joined MFP sometime in September of 2011. I was determined to get this figured out and feel good about myself. I was under the assumption that if I hit a target weight, I would instantly love me.
I didn’t step foot into a gym, I was intimidated. I lost all of my weight by changing my diet. There was some cardio I added in here and there – walking a few miles a week if I could, parking in the furthest spot in lots, etc. Nothing too overly dramatic though.
In 2013, I hit my goal weight of 127 pounds. I thought to myself, this is it! I distinctly recall the thoughts I had when seeing myself without clothes on at my “ultimate goal weight.” Still not enough to go. Felt like I had to lose more. Everyone always made it seem like the number on the scale was the most important - nobody ever told me that it required a mindset change.
I found out I was pregnant in June 2013, had my second child in December. I was proud of the fact that I only gained 19 pounds in that pregnancy and was able to lose it quickly. Still logging my foods and keeping track the best I could.
Fast forward to today. A lot has happened since then. Previous relationships ended, new ones blossomed. Purchased and sold my first home. Started school again to work on my third bachelor’s degree. Diagnosed with kidney failure. Started a new job.
It took so much soul searching and deep thinking to understand that it’s not what the scale says – it’s a mental thing. Learning to love myself at face value was dependent on me, not my relationship with gravity. Being diagnosed wasn’t a punishment.
I’ve recently decided that I want to be strong. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy with myself. I’ve added in strength training (per my doctor’s orders at first and now because I want to) and am excited to see where this vessel known as my body takes me and how far I can push it.
I currently fluctuate between 133-136 pounds, depending on what time of the month it is, how much salt I’ve had, whether I ate too many tacos or not, etc. But honestly, none of that even matters anymore… It just feels good to finally start to be happy in the skin I’m in.
The best part about adding in strength training not too long ago was getting back the best bloodwork my body has had in well over a year. And that is a remarkable feeling.
Huge shoutout to four folks that have helped me out in ways I'll never be able to repay:
My incredible boyfriend, my two sweet girls, and my new mentor and friend, Alyssa (:
I don’t have many before photos because if there was one thing to avoid, it was the camera.
Before:
After:
After:
188
Replies
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You look beautiful! What a journey, and you have gained so much perspective along the way.3
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Absolutely AMAZING and SO inspiring. Thank you SO much for sharing with us!3
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WOW! You don't even look like the same person. Your honesty is incredibly brave, congratulations on all of your success.2
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Congrats! You look amazing!3
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I'm happy you're happy. Big congrats!2
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4 -
Thanks, y'all (: (:1
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Congratulations on your amazing success! (And btw - you were gorgeous before as well!) ❤️4
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Wow - congrats to you on all of your success. You look fantastic and sound so happy!2
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Thanks for sharing your so beautifully written story! What a heart-warming and inspiring transformation! So happy you found not only a loving boyfriend and children, but the love for your amazing, strong and gorgeous self too! All the best to you!1
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Gorgeous!
Congratulations on all of your successes!1 -
The folks on MFP are super incredible (:
Thank you, everyone!1 -
Kudos! You were always pretty inside and out, now you can see your happiness!1
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great story with just some fantastic will & success - well done - hope the future is bright!
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Thank you for sharing! A lot of that resonated with me as I am short (5'2") and my weight has fluctuated over the years. I also have a new position at work, new apartment and new man. I want to be healthy and learn to take my self-worth from inside. It's hard though and one coping mechanism for me was always food.1
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Congratulations-you look great!!1
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You did great. Plus you were pretty in your before pics also. Definately be happy in your skin you look good!1
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Well done! You look great!1
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You are an inspiration. Well done!1
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Beautifully written, inspiring story.1
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Thank you all so much! If only someone would've told me so long ago that my happiness about me and my body comes from within. Not a number on the scale, the size of my shirt/pants. MFP has helped me so much throughout the years - scrounging through the boards reading, learning, taking advice from afar. YouTube has been incredible to learn about proper form when lifting. It's definitely been quite the journey - some days significantly harder than others - but I'm grateful for the struggle (:4
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GOALS1
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You look incredible. Anyone tell you that you look like Kristen Dunst?4
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Congratulations - you look wonderful, but you looked wonderful in your "before" pictures as well. You're now wonderfully healthy!2
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Amazing!!! I love your story!!!1
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You were beautiful before and you are stunning now. Congratulations on such a success!1
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Amazing! LOVE that dress.2
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Awesome job! Weightloss is as much a journey to your innerself as it is to your outerself. Sounds like you mastered both. Congratulations!1
This discussion has been closed.
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