Sucess in progress - 30kg lost
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ladyreva78
Posts: 4,080 Member
*pokes head in* Oh dear oh dear, I didn’t expect that many readers to show up. Maybe 1. Or 2. And that even though I have nearly no pictures to show for it all...
I’ve always been overweight, as far back as I can remember. As a child, I was called ‘pudgy’. Heck, my grandmother called me ‘Bacon’. She meant it kindly, but it kinda stuck and as I grew larger and larger it kinda became more and more appropriate. My brother called me ‘Fatso’. Not quite so kindly.
I’ve failed at every single diet I ever tried. Eventually, the weight always comes back. Care to hear some of the gems? No? Tough luck, I’m in the mood to talk.
The year is 2009.
My weight: 106kg
At this point, I was depressed but still believe in such a thing as miracle pills. So what does a girl do in such a situation? That’s right, she takes herself to the doctor. The kindly doctor, because he can’t be bothered to do more with yet another overweight patient who doesn’t understand why she’s overweight, prescribes her a pill. He also sends her to a dietician nutritionist who wisely nodded at the mention of the pill and gave her a plan for a diet rather high in fat. I’m sure most of you can image just exactly what happened after that. I’ll give you a hint: it’s orange and extremely oily and leaks out where and when it really shouldn’t…
Total weight lost: 6kg.
Total weight gained back: 6kg.
Let’s fast forward in time a few years.
The year is 2012.
My weight: 107kg
Yup, still around. Still obese. Still depressed, even-though I pretend I’m not. I’m a happy fat person. No one can tell me other wise. But you see… there’s this tea everyone’s talking about. It’s supposed to make you super slim. Forgot about the name, but hey, if it helps? So I go and buy a package. Take one cup in the morning. According to the package indication, you need to let it steep for 10 minutes. Well, if 10 minutes is good, 15 must be better?
Yesshh… at least it’s not orange this time and you can kinda control when it’s happening… as in 1 hour after you take the tea. So what does a girl do? I’ll spare you the details of what laxative abuse does to you. Oddly enough it’s classified as an eating disorder and needs to be treated appropriately. 4 years later I’m finally what could be called recovered. But I’ll stay a long long way away from that stuff.
Total weight lost: 6kg.
Total weight gained back: 8kg.
Does anyone else start to see a pattern there? Let’s fast forward some more.
The year is 2014.
My weight: 115kg
Woohoo I’ve hit rock bottom! Look at that scale weight! I’ll even add a picture to mark the occasion (May 2014, Kanazawa, Japan – picture taken during a tea ceremony):
I’m slim and trim… honestly it’s all just muscles! Yessh… not! And yes, I do realize that. There’s nothing more cruel than a picture taken by someone else when you’re not expecting it. I look like I'm 40+ years old instead of early 30s... It’s unforgiving. When I saw that picture, I wrote an e-mail to my health insurance to ask about the conditions for bariatric surgery. Then I put myself on the first diet of the year:
In the US, I think it’s called SlimFast. Around where I live, it’s called ModiFast. Totally yummy. Managed to hold out for two weeks. The daily goal listed above is for my current weight. Back then, it should have been closer to 1800 for a sedentary female. Gross kcal I was eating: around 1100. Then I worked out. Nope. Didn't eat more.
After two weeks I was burned out.
Total weight lost: 10kg.
Total weight gained back: 3kg. (only, because I caught it early enough to try and do something about it)
Fast forward to October of the same year. Still a failure. Still learned nothing about nutrition (but I’m eating healthy and work out 3-5 times per week!!!!! Why am I gaining????). Signed myself up to a dietician’s again. Hopefully somewhat better qualified than the last one.
My weight: 108kg
Her diet plan… Low cal, low fat, low carbs.
Ever had that feeling that your arm might be an appropriate snack? Yup that was me. I was starving and horribly constipated. Best of all? Dietician tells me to just take a laxative. Yes, I did specify that I have a history of laxative abuse. No, she’s not really a registered dietician…
Total weight lost: 9kg.
Total weight gained back: 3kg.
Let’s fast forward another year, just for fun.
The year is 2015.
My weight: 102kg
Meet me in the ER with excruciating pain. The punishment I’ve put my body through these past few years has not gone unnoticed. The gall bladder had to go. The liver is iffy. The heart sometimes decides to skip a beat or two. Cholesterol is through the roof. I’m almost at the pre-diabetic stage of things.
On top of that, I’ve finally had to admit to myself that I am borderline alcoholic. Thankfully the surgery had a strange side effect that rather radically opened my eyes: quasi all alcohols now tasted like badly corked vinegar. Turned me off but it was hard those first few months. I could probably try a glass or two again, but I just don’t trust myself. I’ve learned to moderate most things: wine is not one of them.
Total weight lost: 0kg.
Total weight gained back: 2kg.
That weight gain was mainly edema from the surgery. Still is depressing as hell to see the scale slowly creep back up.
So now it’s just a stone throw to the new year…
The year is 2016.
My weight: 104.2kg (on January 1st…)
I complain to my personal trainer about how unfair life is and that I’m just meant to be fat and that I would probably sign up for the surgery because I was too sick and sick and tired of being sick. Here’s how that conversation kinda went (going from memory here).
PT: how many calories does your body burn per day?
Me: erm…
PT: how many calories do you eat per day?
Me: erm…
PT: figure that out, then eat less than that. There’s a whole slew of online apps to help you figure it out. It really is that simple…
I signed up on MFP the same day (12.01.2016) and figured I’d give it a month before I called it quits. Can’t really judge something without having given it a chance, can you?
Some numbers… because numbers are fun:
So I’d say I’m over halfway to my goal weight. I’m no longer classified as obese. My knees no longer hurt like hell when I’m walking. Of all of my health problems, I only kept the too high cholesterol and the slight arrhythmia. Needless to say, my doctor’s quite proud of me and wants to keep doing whatever it is I’m doing. That high cholesterol? We'll see how it is next year during the check up. If it's still high, she'll worry about doing something, because it's lower than it was a year and a half ago. That arrhythmia? Might be genetic, but it's currently mild enough not to worry about it too much. It's on the list of things to check on at every visit.
So how did I do it? Well… first, another picture for you…
Same girl, same place as last time, a good 2 years and 25 kg in between (picture was taken in September 2016, Kanazawa Japan, outside of a tea ceremony pavilion). It’s silly how insanely proud I am of myself. But it’s what it is, so I’ll stick to it.
So what did I do? Ate less, moved more. I try to eat more or less well most of the time. I eat McDonald's and chocolate and chips. I go for walks over my lunch breaks. I sometimes just sit on the couch all day and can't be bothered to move. I'm slowly having more good days than bad days and that, at the end of it all, is all that counts.
Because it really is that simple. Even if it isn’t always easy.
PS: As of tomorrow, I will have logged 365 days on MFP. Here's to the next 365. I have another 20kg (or there about) to lose. And I will lose them 100grams at a time. It might take me 5 years, but I'll get there.
I’ve always been overweight, as far back as I can remember. As a child, I was called ‘pudgy’. Heck, my grandmother called me ‘Bacon’. She meant it kindly, but it kinda stuck and as I grew larger and larger it kinda became more and more appropriate. My brother called me ‘Fatso’. Not quite so kindly.
I’ve failed at every single diet I ever tried. Eventually, the weight always comes back. Care to hear some of the gems? No? Tough luck, I’m in the mood to talk.
The year is 2009.
My weight: 106kg
At this point, I was depressed but still believe in such a thing as miracle pills. So what does a girl do in such a situation? That’s right, she takes herself to the doctor. The kindly doctor, because he can’t be bothered to do more with yet another overweight patient who doesn’t understand why she’s overweight, prescribes her a pill. He also sends her to a dietician nutritionist who wisely nodded at the mention of the pill and gave her a plan for a diet rather high in fat. I’m sure most of you can image just exactly what happened after that. I’ll give you a hint: it’s orange and extremely oily and leaks out where and when it really shouldn’t…
Total weight lost: 6kg.
Total weight gained back: 6kg.
Let’s fast forward in time a few years.
The year is 2012.
My weight: 107kg
Yup, still around. Still obese. Still depressed, even-though I pretend I’m not. I’m a happy fat person. No one can tell me other wise. But you see… there’s this tea everyone’s talking about. It’s supposed to make you super slim. Forgot about the name, but hey, if it helps? So I go and buy a package. Take one cup in the morning. According to the package indication, you need to let it steep for 10 minutes. Well, if 10 minutes is good, 15 must be better?
Yesshh… at least it’s not orange this time and you can kinda control when it’s happening… as in 1 hour after you take the tea. So what does a girl do? I’ll spare you the details of what laxative abuse does to you. Oddly enough it’s classified as an eating disorder and needs to be treated appropriately. 4 years later I’m finally what could be called recovered. But I’ll stay a long long way away from that stuff.
Total weight lost: 6kg.
Total weight gained back: 8kg.
Does anyone else start to see a pattern there? Let’s fast forward some more.
The year is 2014.
My weight: 115kg
Woohoo I’ve hit rock bottom! Look at that scale weight! I’ll even add a picture to mark the occasion (May 2014, Kanazawa, Japan – picture taken during a tea ceremony):
I’m slim and trim… honestly it’s all just muscles! Yessh… not! And yes, I do realize that. There’s nothing more cruel than a picture taken by someone else when you’re not expecting it. I look like I'm 40+ years old instead of early 30s... It’s unforgiving. When I saw that picture, I wrote an e-mail to my health insurance to ask about the conditions for bariatric surgery. Then I put myself on the first diet of the year:
In the US, I think it’s called SlimFast. Around where I live, it’s called ModiFast. Totally yummy. Managed to hold out for two weeks. The daily goal listed above is for my current weight. Back then, it should have been closer to 1800 for a sedentary female. Gross kcal I was eating: around 1100. Then I worked out. Nope. Didn't eat more.
After two weeks I was burned out.
Total weight lost: 10kg.
Total weight gained back: 3kg. (only, because I caught it early enough to try and do something about it)
Fast forward to October of the same year. Still a failure. Still learned nothing about nutrition (but I’m eating healthy and work out 3-5 times per week!!!!! Why am I gaining????). Signed myself up to a dietician’s again. Hopefully somewhat better qualified than the last one.
My weight: 108kg
Her diet plan… Low cal, low fat, low carbs.
Ever had that feeling that your arm might be an appropriate snack? Yup that was me. I was starving and horribly constipated. Best of all? Dietician tells me to just take a laxative. Yes, I did specify that I have a history of laxative abuse. No, she’s not really a registered dietician…
Total weight lost: 9kg.
Total weight gained back: 3kg.
Let’s fast forward another year, just for fun.
The year is 2015.
My weight: 102kg
Meet me in the ER with excruciating pain. The punishment I’ve put my body through these past few years has not gone unnoticed. The gall bladder had to go. The liver is iffy. The heart sometimes decides to skip a beat or two. Cholesterol is through the roof. I’m almost at the pre-diabetic stage of things.
On top of that, I’ve finally had to admit to myself that I am borderline alcoholic. Thankfully the surgery had a strange side effect that rather radically opened my eyes: quasi all alcohols now tasted like badly corked vinegar. Turned me off but it was hard those first few months. I could probably try a glass or two again, but I just don’t trust myself. I’ve learned to moderate most things: wine is not one of them.
Total weight lost: 0kg.
Total weight gained back: 2kg.
That weight gain was mainly edema from the surgery. Still is depressing as hell to see the scale slowly creep back up.
So now it’s just a stone throw to the new year…
The year is 2016.
My weight: 104.2kg (on January 1st…)
I complain to my personal trainer about how unfair life is and that I’m just meant to be fat and that I would probably sign up for the surgery because I was too sick and sick and tired of being sick. Here’s how that conversation kinda went (going from memory here).
PT: how many calories does your body burn per day?
Me: erm…
PT: how many calories do you eat per day?
Me: erm…
PT: figure that out, then eat less than that. There’s a whole slew of online apps to help you figure it out. It really is that simple…
I signed up on MFP the same day (12.01.2016) and figured I’d give it a month before I called it quits. Can’t really judge something without having given it a chance, can you?
Some numbers… because numbers are fun:
So I’d say I’m over halfway to my goal weight. I’m no longer classified as obese. My knees no longer hurt like hell when I’m walking. Of all of my health problems, I only kept the too high cholesterol and the slight arrhythmia. Needless to say, my doctor’s quite proud of me and wants to keep doing whatever it is I’m doing. That high cholesterol? We'll see how it is next year during the check up. If it's still high, she'll worry about doing something, because it's lower than it was a year and a half ago. That arrhythmia? Might be genetic, but it's currently mild enough not to worry about it too much. It's on the list of things to check on at every visit.
So how did I do it? Well… first, another picture for you…
Same girl, same place as last time, a good 2 years and 25 kg in between (picture was taken in September 2016, Kanazawa Japan, outside of a tea ceremony pavilion). It’s silly how insanely proud I am of myself. But it’s what it is, so I’ll stick to it.
So what did I do? Ate less, moved more. I try to eat more or less well most of the time. I eat McDonald's and chocolate and chips. I go for walks over my lunch breaks. I sometimes just sit on the couch all day and can't be bothered to move. I'm slowly having more good days than bad days and that, at the end of it all, is all that counts.
Because it really is that simple. Even if it isn’t always easy.
PS: As of tomorrow, I will have logged 365 days on MFP. Here's to the next 365. I have another 20kg (or there about) to lose. And I will lose them 100grams at a time. It might take me 5 years, but I'll get there.
51
Replies
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Congrats on your enlightenment (processes) and that your hard work is paying off! This is an inspiring story!!1
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It truly is inspiring - thank you !1
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Thank you! Seeing those two pictures side by side actually kinda drove it home to me that: yes, I am being successful at what I'm doing and not just muddling through like before.
Sometimes I'm amazed at how easily you can believe in that miracle cure, even if it doesn't exist.
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Thank you for sharing your story! You are amazing!1
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Lord the childhood nicknames thing struck a chord with me! "Leg of lamb," was a favourite. "Fatty," another (also from a brother...). Thing is, once you're 'cast' as that at a young age, I think you kind of become a self-fulfilling prophecy - it's just "the way you are".
NOT!!!
You're doing so well. My current goal is to be out of the Obese class and to see fewer rolls when I sit down. Thanks for sharing your progress and story.1 -
Congratulations and thanks for sharing. You are doing a great job.1
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Thanks for writing it all down - a history of your ups and downs and the really important message about what it did to your health. And now you're winning; of course you're proud of yourself (I'm proud of you too). Keep logging onto MFP; tracking is the way to go and the way to stay in control. CICO works; eating less and moving more is good and good for you. People don't realise that if they don't move when they're younger they sure as heck won't be moving when they're older. Good luck and well done1
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valerieuk1708 wrote: »Thank you for sharing your story! You are amazing!
Thank you. It felt good to write it all down (even if I left out quite a few of the stupid things I've done...
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kristikitter wrote: »Lord the childhood nicknames thing struck a chord with me! "Leg of lamb," was a favourite. "Fatty," another (also from a brother...). Thing is, once you're 'cast' as that at a young age, I think you kind of become a self-fulfilling prophecy - it's just "the way you are".
NOT!!!
You're doing so well. My current goal is to be out of the Obese class and to see fewer rolls when I sit down. Thanks for sharing your progress and story.
It takes a while to get that out of your head. Growing up being told I'm fat made it hard to accept that I didn't have to be fat. That I was the one who decided what would happen to my body. I have the luck that I still have my health (mostly) even with all the things I've done to my body. It's an amazing thing this shell of ours and willing to put up with a crap load of punishment before it gives up on you.
I've just slipped out of the Obese category, so I know just how good that can feel, especially to have those rolls start to diminish (they were there whether I was sitting or not and it was driving me bonkers!). Best of luck to you!2 -
stuartjones140 wrote: »Thanks for sharing your experience, I wonder how one can stop themselves from eating sweets and other tasty food.
Well, my trick is to not have it in the house and only buy single serving sweets and snacks. I also make sure that my main meals are filling and tasty to avoid some of the cravings (spices are your friend!).
I've had days where over half of my calories come from chocolate chips and co. Not the best of days and my digestion tends to not like those overly much. That helps.
Another trick I have is to go for a walk when I'm craving something. If I'm far far far away from the kitchen, I can't be at the fridge reaching for what happens to be edible.
I also started drinking so much tea it's ridiculous how often I have to go pee. Thankfully my boss finds it more amusing than not (and he's fully aware of the fact that my back needs to regular breaks as well...)
It's a matter of trying out what ever tricks you can find and figuring out which ones work for you. Good luck!0 -
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poppysierra wrote: »Thanks for writing it all down - a history of your ups and downs and the really important message about what it did to your health. And now you're winning; of course you're proud of yourself (I'm proud of you too). Keep logging onto MFP; tracking is the way to go and the way to stay in control. CICO works; eating less and moving more is good and good for you. People don't realise that if they don't move when they're younger they sure as heck won't be moving when they're older. Good luck and well done
Thank you for your kind words!
My parents are a good inspiration for how I don't what to be when I'm older. I'm 35 now and still have quite a bit of life ahead of me. I do not want to spend it sick and tiered of being sick and tiered! I started to realize that I was copying my mother's pattern and that I did not want. I moved back in with them a few years ago (various circumstances I won't get into) and see first hand how they're struggling with those extra kilos (they're both now heavier than I am and don't understand how I managed to lose so much weight eating the way I do...)
I already have chronic back problems and it scares me what it might be a few years down the line if I don't take care of myself now (my physiotherapist is confident that it won't be a problem, not with my current routine). It scared me to think what those little things beginning to creep in could do to me long term. I sadly don't believe that it is possible to be obese and stay healthy for the long run and that long run is what matters. A colleague at work ended up in ICU because his liver gave up on him, he's only 10 years older than me. That could have been me.
So here I am, happily counting my calories and losing the weight one itsy bitsy at a time.
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"I’m a happy fat person. No one can tell me other wise. " Wow, that hit home with me. It really is like wearing a mask every day. Thanks for sharing your story and insights! Way to go! 1
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Thank you for being so candid as I can relate to your story. You are an inspiration.1
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Thanks for my morning cup of inspiration! Wishing you well as you continue on your journey...1
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Thank you for sharing your journey!!1
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ladyreva78 wrote: »valerieuk1708 wrote: »Thank you for sharing your story! You are amazing!
Thank you. It felt good to write it all down (even if I left out quite a few of the stupid things I've done...
I did see myself in your story and it does help to know I wasn't only "stupid" person to try pills and teas and god knows what else.
I'm certain I can do it now because of people like you who come and share their stories and it gives us all hope! Hoping to post my success story in the near future
1 -
Happy for your progress. Love the Japanese architecture in your pics as well!1
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KatieAdams7 wrote: »"I’m a happy fat person. No one can tell me other wise. " Wow, that hit home with me. It really is like wearing a mask every day. Thanks for sharing your story and insights! Way to go!
I have a very sunny disposition to start out with, but I kept on telling myself that I had to be super happy and bright and sunny all the time because otherwise people wouldn't want to have anything to do with me 'cause I'm fat... Pretty messed up if you ask me. It took me a while to get rid of the mask but I feel so much lighter without it 0 -
elleelle03 wrote: »Thank you for being so candid as I can relate to your story. You are an inspiration.
Thank you.
I learned that it's better to be truthful to myself and reading stories similar to mine helped me realize that I can do this. I can change myself to be how I want myself to be. 0
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