My triumphs, failures, and triumphs again

penelmo

There are 2 words I despise and it's "morbidly obese" I hate reading these 2 words in medical reports and articles. These 2 words describe my life and the reason I hate them is because it's the truth. The truth doesn't always feel good. I've been morbidly obese most of my adult life.
The weight issue has been quite the struggle. I've lost and gained 30 pounds at least 4 times in the past.
Looking back I can see how my life spiraled out of control. While single and in college I had started losing weight. I did get down to my goal of 150 pounds. But several years later after meeting my husband and after our wedding in 1993 I ballooned over 200 easily. There were many new challenges in life that were hard to handle and I turned to food for comfort. But it complicated things further and instead of food helping it placed a wedge between my new husband and myself. Years later I was to learn that the reason my weight caused such a wedge was that he felt I didn't care anymore. He felt like "now She has gotten her prize she don't have to care about her appearance". This was farther from the truth. I just allowed life and the stress of life to consume this part of my life. Then came babies... By the time it was all said and done my heaviest weight was 243 pounds. I was well on my way to 300. One thing that started my journey was my awesome pastor's wife who was very encouraging and very health conscious. I can't even remember who introduced me to My fitness pal but it changed my life. I still struggled at this time. Remember I said I lost and gained 30 pounds 4 times... It was during this phase in my life. Several years ago in January 2014 I had a determination, a renewed vision and the My Fitness pal app and as of today I've lost 60 pounds. I still have 45 more to go which has presented new challenges that I'm working on but I couldn't be more happy or thankful!!! Its been quite the journey the many ups and downs but I remain optimistic that I will reach my goal! You can too... Stay encouraged!

My new favorite quote:
"But a dream is not reality"
Alice Kingsleigh
"But who is to say which is which"
Mad Hatter

schwest76

That's awesome! Keep up the good work. One day at a time....

briannadunn

Wtg!!! It is hard but worth it

sufiingenuous

Reading halfway through your story, I could simply relate to everything you said.... I too have Been successfully losing wait but many times... N it should not have been so.... last time I gained weight was through the challenges that my married life brought my way.... since then I seek food to fill me up whether I am depressed or lonely or euphoric..... N it has not solved any of my life issues, it has worsened them.
So now I m hoping to bring the life change that will at least not worsen life s,other challenges for me.... N I have been there so many times.... N I have insight, I m a surgeon, yet I became weak enough to make food an escape door for me... So as I read your words, I found both hope n clarity.... my health s my life challenge too.... N my own priority ... I need to do it to feel comfortable in my own skin n to be able to deal with life s challenges actively.... here to the failures that will lead to only triumphs.... InshAllah.... congrats,for achieving the half way milestone.... Keep it up... Keep me inspired

suruda

It is hard, and boring sometimes, and a struggle often. If it wasn't we wouldn't all be here! Congratulations for all of your successes, you've earned them! I had a boss that use to say "embrace the suck" for when things suck...figure out how to deal with it.

I tie that in to eating healthy by thinking "embrace the boredom", or "embrace the struggle"...figure out how to get your arms around it and move forward! Our health is our most important asset...I look forward to following your journey as you lose the last 45 lbs!

Allie2060

You've done so well. Good for you!

fbcarlson

Great work so far!!! Good luck with the last 45. You got this!

Tisa76

Don't be too hard on yourself, you haven't given up an that's the most important thing! Congrats on your progress!