letting go of all or nothing thinking

drabbits2

So it has taken me quite a while to get to this place and I am 100% certain I will have to relearn it again like a million times... One of the hardest things for me about eating like a normal person (notice I didn't say dieting) is all or nothing thinking--like "I can never eat another cookie again" or "if I can't eat the entire bag of chex mix whenever I want to, life isn't worth living". Now, I am 46 years old, I realize this is crazy thinking and very contradictory to pretty much everything on these boards, but that is what my brain does about a lot of things, not just food. I mean really, do I think the bakery will go out of business if I only have ONE cookie not six? I mean seriously. In the past few months I am working really really hard to have rational, sane thinking about this. For example, I have been measuring out 1/2 cup of chex mix for my treat every day. And guess what??? Nothing bad happened and I feel fairly satisfied with that amount. At Whole Foods today, at that international, help-yourself cookie bar where I usually have like 3 of each, I literally bought 2 normal sized cookies and only ate one. And I am still alive. What is so hard about that? Believe me I do not have it licked--I could easily eat half a bad of chex mix in one sitting, if not the whole thing. I am like this about a lot of things, not just food--either the house is clean or it is a wreck, it's not just a normal, lived in space. It seems nutty when I see it in black and white, but there it is. So I don't know what I am looking for from other people, and I don't have a question, just on my mind lately.
Happy Martin Luther King Day tomorrow everyone--

alyssa0061

I was actually just thinking about this earlier today. I was thinking about the reasons I've been so much more successful losing weight this time than I ever have been before. Losing that mentality has been a big part of it. I also find I enjoy foods far more when I eat them in their intended serving size. I savor them rather than eat them mindlessly. Triscuits, I'm looking at you.

HippySkoppy

*Waving* I'm struggle as another all or nothing mindset person. It has been a lifelong battle, sometimes it hits harder, for me I think that this way of thinking really grabs me when I am feeling anxious and overstretched in other areas of life.

Now at 54, I have learned, mostly, that there is a definite serenity that comes with moderation in all things. When I started out losing weight I was so hard and exact on myself, it had to be perfection or it was failure. Coming here to MFP and finding out about CI-CO and giving myself permission to be a faulty human (and it not being the end of the World) has been a big relief.

Glad you have found peace and balance.

nowine4me

I'm right there with you on this one. No great answer, but you're not alone.

suruda

I would also add the ability to realize you can have it another day. If you have had too many treats but are eyeing the cookie or triscuit...it will be there tomorrow!

drabbits2

Yes to all! I have not got this licked by any stretch but the idea that whatever it is I think I have to inhale will be there tomorrow is just revolutionary. I mean, who knew??!! I am just like the above poster who said the all or nothing thinking kicks in when I am tired or stressed in other areas. Nothing calms me down like eating my body weight in cookies. (kidding--I do NOT like feeling like a stuffed sausage the next morning)
Here's to all of us keeping on learning this lesson.