I just had a baby
ruebus
Posts: 7 Member
And my body is disgusting to me. I don't just need to lose weight and get in shape, I need to learn to wear my hair, do my nails and makeup, and dress like a normal person. I was homeless growing up and did not have female friends. Integrating into normal society is lonely and depressing when you are a grotesque uncouth social outcast. Hopefully getting into shape and becoming conventionally attractive will help turn things around for me! 2 weeks PP Starting with nutrition, yoga, soon walking which will graduate to jogging and running. Eventually hope to learn bodyweight excersize, ultimately would like to join a sport. Any advice appreciated
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Replies
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Hey girl! Congratulations!
I'm a mummy too, and currently hate my body too. It's something that we need to learn to love, but not saying to give up on ourselves
I'm not in the financial state to get nails and hair done all the time, but I do get my hair coloured and trimmed about twice a year. I don't go out too often, and when I am, I am usually in the same outfits lol. I know where you're coming from.
I just wanted to say, good luck with everything!! Hope you achieve the goal you're after!!! Beauty is also from the inside
xx3 -
You and your body are amazing - you've just grown and given birth to a little human! Please don't think of yourself as disgusting - you might want to change aspects of your appearance, and that is fine, but love and appreciate you as you are now.3
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livingleanlivingclean wrote: »You and your body are amazing - you've just grown and given birth to a little human! Please don't think of yourself as disgusting - you might want to change aspects of your appearance, and that is fine, but love and appreciate you as you are now.
Thank you, I appreciate the support... I might find my appearance disgusting, that doesn't mean I hate myself and don't appreciate my better qualities. I'm fine with the fact that I'm unattractive, it impedes with my ability to socialize and feel comfortable in certain social situations. Not only that, but I've become unhealthy and lack certain life skills essential to healthy living. If I were to accept that and say I'm wonderful the way I am I wouldn't be able to make any progress. I think it's ok to fully recognize your faults and experience the consequences so that you can evolve.0 -
Hey girl! Congratulations!
I'm a mummy too, and currently hate my body too. It's something that we need to learn to love, but not saying to give up on ourselves
I'm not in the financial state to get nails and hair done all the time, but I do get my hair coloured and trimmed about twice a year. I don't go out too often, and when I am, I am usually in the same outfits lol. I know where you're coming from.
I just wanted to say, good luck with everything!! Hope you achieve the goal you're after!!! Beauty is also from the inside
xx
My hair is normally matted and my nails are uneven and broken, I have to learn about basic matinence as crazy as it sounds because I wasn't brought up with any education in hygiene. I wear T shirts and sweats because I refuse to shop for clothes in this size... people often comment behind my back that they're afraid I might murder them or I have some type of mental retardation and you look like a barbie doll so I don't think you know exactly where I'm coming from but I really appreciate the support and I wish good luck to you as well! I can't imagine what goal you might be working towards because you're already very beautiful0 -
Hey girl! Congratulations!
I'm a mummy too, and currently hate my body too. It's something that we need to learn to love, but not saying to give up on ourselves
I'm not in the financial state to get nails and hair done all the time, but I do get my hair coloured and trimmed about twice a year. I don't go out too often, and when I am, I am usually in the same outfits lol. I know where you're coming from.
I just wanted to say, good luck with everything!! Hope you achieve the goal you're after!!! Beauty is also from the inside
xx
My hair is normally matted and my nails are uneven and broken, I have to learn about basic matinence as crazy as it sounds because I wasn't brought up with any education in hygiene. I wear T shirts and sweats because I refuse to shop for clothes in this size... people often comment behind my back that they're afraid I might murder them or I have some type of mental retardation and you look like a barbie doll so I don't think you know exactly where I'm coming from but I really appreciate the support and I wish good luck to you as well! I can't imagine what goal you might be working towards because you're already very beautiful
Lol thanks hun but that's an older photo... I'm not gonna put a photo of me now2 -
Hey girl! Congratulations!
I'm a mummy too, and currently hate my body too. It's something that we need to learn to love, but not saying to give up on ourselves
I'm not in the financial state to get nails and hair done all the time, but I do get my hair coloured and trimmed about twice a year. I don't go out too often, and when I am, I am usually in the same outfits lol. I know where you're coming from.
I just wanted to say, good luck with everything!! Hope you achieve the goal you're after!!! Beauty is also from the inside
xx
My hair is normally matted and my nails are uneven and broken, I have to learn about basic matinence as crazy as it sounds because I wasn't brought up with any education in hygiene. I wear T shirts and sweats because I refuse to shop for clothes in this size... people often comment behind my back that they're afraid I might murder them or I have some type of mental retardation and you look like a barbie doll so I don't think you know exactly where I'm coming from but I really appreciate the support and I wish good luck to you as well! I can't imagine what goal you might be working towards because you're already very beautiful
Lol thanks hun but that's an older photo... I'm not gonna put a photo of me now
Lol oh my gosh I know what you mean. My Facebook photo hasn't changed since I was 150 -
And my body is disgusting to me. I don't just need to lose weight and get in shape, I need to learn to wear my hair, do my nails and makeup, and dress like a normal person. I was homeless growing up and did not have female friends. Integrating into normal society is lonely and depressing when you are a grotesque uncouth social outcast. Hopefully getting into shape and becoming conventionally attractive will help turn things around for me! 2 weeks PP Starting with nutrition, yoga, soon walking which will graduate to jogging and running. Eventually hope to learn bodyweight excersize, ultimately would like to join a sport. Any advice appreciated
May I ask you why you want to be conventionally attractive? While I completely understand any persons desire to get dressed up sometimes and get hair and nails done, these things are just superficial window dressing. As cliche as it sounds, the real stuff is on the inside of all of us. I too had a rough childhood with no parents from 13 and pretty much left to raise myself. While it was painful and I am still recovering, my pain has made me stronger and also given me a great empathy and compassion for the suffering of others. These are positive things that I have no doubt you also possess! I had my son at 18 and felt similar to you when he was born, body loathing and a social reject. I did have postnatal depression and crippling social anxiety though. I am 38 now and even though I am the same person, I feel much less socially awkward and self-conscious. It has taken many failings, but I am learning to feed myself well, exercise regularly and love the body I have, scars and all, which is so tough! It breaks my heart that you are so down on your physical aspects, when they are just a small part of who you are. If I could give younger me some advice, I would say that things get better, be kinder to yourself, and try to stop worrying so much about what others think of you! These days I try to do small things every day that makes me feel better about myself physically and mentally. It is awesome that you are here and I wish you all the success in the world! Just take baby steps
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And my body is disgusting to me. I don't just need to lose weight and get in shape, I need to learn to wear my hair, do my nails and makeup, and dress like a normal person. I was homeless growing up and did not have female friends. Integrating into normal society is lonely and depressing when you are a grotesque uncouth social outcast. Hopefully getting into shape and becoming conventionally attractive will help turn things around for me! 2 weeks PP Starting with nutrition, yoga, soon walking which will graduate to jogging and running. Eventually hope to learn bodyweight excersize, ultimately would like to join a sport. Any advice appreciated
May I ask you why you want to be conventionally attractive? While I completely understand any persons desire to get dressed up sometimes and get hair and nails done, these things are just superficial window dressing. As cliche as it sounds, the real stuff is on the inside of all of us. I too had a rough childhood with no parents from 13 and pretty much left to raise myself. While it was painful and I am still recovering, my pain has made me stronger and also given me a great empathy and compassion for the suffering of others. These are positive things that I have no doubt you also possess! I had my son at 18 and felt similar to you when he was born, body loathing and a social reject. I did have postnatal depression and crippling social anxiety though. I am 38 now and even though I am the same person, I feel much less socially awkward and self-conscious. It has taken many failings, but I am learning to feed myself well, exercise regularly and love the body I have, scars and all, which is so tough! It breaks my heart that you are so down on your physical aspects, when they are just a small part of who you are. If I could give younger me some advice, I would say that things get better, be kinder to yourself, and try to stop worrying so much about what others think of you! These days I try to do small things every day that makes me feel better about myself physically and mentally. It is awesome that you are here and I wish you all the success in the world! Just take baby steps
Hi! Thank you for your thoughtful comment. It sounds like you know exactly what I'm going through. I was left to raise myself from 14 and had my first son at 19. (I'm 22 now) It has been a struggle- I love being a parent but the loneliness and isolation is painful. I know that my physical appearance is only a small aspect of who I am, but it is ultimately what separates me from other people and prevents me from making friends. People judge me heavily on my appearance, and I feel very insecure about it. My lack of self esteem is clearly affected by my past and it is hard to work past those issues even while being totally aware of them because trauma during your formative years really shapes how you experience the rest of your life. It makes socializing stressful and awkward. I know that when I'm more comfortable with my appearance I am more comfortable socializing- I don't want to spend the next decade with crippling social anxiety and depression. I'm confident that I am a compassionate, interesting, valuable person, and it hurts that it's so hard for most people to see past my appearance and somewhat awkward behavior to discover that.
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I am 4 weeks pp and have another 20 or so pounds to lose. I also hate my body at the moment and trying whatever it takes to change it. Started eating healthy 11 days ago and working out (threadmill) 2 days ago. I'm also ebfing. Lost 6lbs so far.0
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I know it's so hard coming back from having a baby. Your body doesn't feel like your own. Have you talked to a Dr as you seem like you may have PPD.
Also where is your baby's father? Does he support you (emotionally and financially)0 -
Congrats! I'm 2 months post op c section and the weight just shed off. Of course I still have a ton to lose. You should do little things to just bring your self esteem up. The fist thing I did when I felt normal after having a baby was get my hair done, nails, had someone from sephora do my make up and bought a new flattering outfit. I know it won't solve your issues or mine but a little boost never hurt anyone. 0
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Personally I don't think it's such a bad thing to try to become "more conventionally attractive". Life is easier when people treat you better. You might have some fun with it as well. As to improving your body, I'm with the others here who encourage you to love yourself as is, and to treat your body with the love and respect it deserves, ie get good nutrition, and exercise for the health aspects. Sorry to read that you had such a tough life growing up, but I inferred a bit of optimism in your OP, hope that continues.0
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Where's the baby's father?0
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Chef_Barbell wrote: »Where's the baby's father?
I also asked this. Presumably he finds you attractive, OP?
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... Integrating into normal society is lonely and depressing when you are a grotesque uncouth social outcast. ... Any advice appreciated
One of my mfp friends is a young lady about your age, further along in this process, whose backstory is worse than yours.
The secret is to love you today and the you you're going to become tomorrow. Say it until you mean it.
Where are you at, btw?
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