Went to diner today and had cheeseburger, fries and coke (and candy when I got home and cupcakes too

steph1234523456

And while I feel disappointed, the food was good and damn it, I'm worth it. I am going to return to my 'diet' tomorrow but I have the rest of my life to lose weight and am not going to deprive myself when an opportunity presents itself. I once lost 90 lbs on my own (30 of them were from Nutri System) and the other 60 my own diet. And believe me, I lived in hell because I never once cheated. It was 90 lbs down and it started from day one. NOT ONE CHEAT and 90 lbs came off. NOT ONE! I gained alot of it back but am losing again and this time I am taking my time and not going to torture myself. I don't have the opportunity to eat what I ate today so it's not like I am 'taking advantage of an opportunity' on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. But today I had the chance to eat like I usually do, I did it and I will return tomorrow to my diet. I just wanted to share this. Because for me I refuse to torture myself anymore. I am losing weight for health reasons this time. In the past it was because I wanted to be loved. I felt if i looked good people would love me. People who know me should love me no matter what i look like. My father hardly noticed I lost 90 lbs. How is that for rejection and a sign of lack of love? I was with him at his office and as we were leaving, he said "you look like you lost weight". We lived in the same city at the time and I said "Yes , I lost 90 lbs". And he said "90 lbs, wow!". So even looking for his love, he didn't even notice the weight loss for quite some time when we were together that day! That's how much he cared about me. So I am not going to try to use my appearance to get love. I have tried it and it did not change a thing. Losing the 90 lbs that time changed nothing in terms of the love I was looking for. Now it's for health reasons.

kavillar

You are worth being good to yourself!!

steph1234523456

Thank you kavillar! You too!!!

Lioness_1978

I get it. Let my loss encourage you. I have been losing slowly and realistically over the last 3 yrs. With moments like you had tonight. I had done other strict diets years ago. I was determined 3 yrs ago to change for ME. No one else. To be healthy. And take my time and do it real. To really learn my body and the way it works. To really change the way I think. I understood that I had to learn to lose my weight eating how I'm going to eat forever. Which for me is MOSTLY no sugar, no white flour, no fried foods. But MOSTLY means I do have these things, just not very often and don't miss out on moments in my life. Meaning an occasional outing that does not happen often like you did tonight. And holidays and birthdays and parties. And because I stopped depriving myself of these moments I learned that it didn't take much to satisfy me. And half the time I don't even crave certain things i used to when they are right in front of me. I no longer view these moments as BAD or naughty. This has been a huge part of my mental change and I believe will be my life long success in staying healthy. In 3 years I've lost 120lbs. I have 37lbs to go.
You got this!

steph1234523456

Tigress35, thanks for your comment. I have to say I am like you in that if I allow myself to eat like I did today, it is much easier for me to back on my weight loss plan. I don't feel deprived. I feel much calmer knowing I can eat what I want when I want. When I lost the 90 lbs in the past I did not cheat once, not once! And it was hell and I was miserable. Oh, I lost the weight. But at what cost? I plan on losing what I put back on (alot) but this time I am not going to torture myself into submission. For health reasons I want to lose weight now. In the past as I said it was because i wanted love. My family situation was not good and I thought if I lost alot of weight, everyone would become happy and we would be one big happy family. And that did not happen. I felt lonelier in a way because I went through all that hardship and struggle to lose 90 lbs and my father didn't even notice. Didn't even notice until we had been together alone in his office for a while (he was doing paperwork). That's the ultimate rejection and so doing that for love...love I didn't get really turned me off to weight loss from that point on. But now I want to do it for my health. I enjoyed reading your post and congrats big time on your 120 lbs loss. Wow, just 37 to go. Congrats, congrats. But let me tell you, losing 37 lbs is not easy. So hang tight, do your thing and you know girl it will come off in due time. No need to rush this. Slow and steady wins the race. At least some races, haha! Nice to meet you.