Full disclosure- I need help!

BFL76

This isn't my first rodeo. I have been fighting the weight loss monster for years, and for a long time I gave up. Last year I was put on medicine for high blood pressure related to major stress in my life, and weight. In November I turned 40. I have three kids (20,19 and 7), and I'm a single mom. My 19 year old daughter is married, and has given me a grandson and another on the way. I need to live.

Late last year I flirted with 450 pounds and sank into a deeper depression. I have major anxiety, depression and basically no friends. I stay at home all the time, work from home and live ten hours from my family in a small town in Arkansas. I feel like I cannot get anywhere. I eat my boredom and my feelings.

I started trying to eat a little better. Last time I weighed was sometime in mid November when I saw the 450. January 1st I got back on here, started documenting everything I ate. I weighed the first time on the 9th and had lost 33.6 pounds. As of today that number is up to 38.6.

Tuesday morning I went to my nurse practitioner to do my yearly labs, for being on the blood pressure medicine. Tuesday afternoon I got the news that I was diabetic. I sat in a parking lot and cried. It felt like a death sentence. She put me on Metformin and said if I can keep losing weight, control my diet then I can control my blood sugar through diet and healthy lifestyle.

I have a seven year old daughter who depends on me. I want to watch her grow up. Basically the NP told me to take the medicine, do not eat any "white foods" (white bread, cauliflower, white potatoes, etc.) and come back in a month. I feel like I have been dropped in the middle of a forest with no idea on how to proceed. I am reading as much as I can, but it feels like everything is in Greek and not one person has the same idea as the next.

I need help. I need friends, accountability, support, advise and a kick in the pants every now and then. I haven't told anyone except my two older children about the diabetes. It's scary.

So, I guess I have rambled on for now. Please feel free to add me. Thank you for reading, if you got this far.

Nikki

SierraFatToSkinny

Don't worry, the diabetes is temporary. Just keep doing what you're doing!

It's really helping me to log all my food.

Also, you don't have to starve yourself to get to a manageable weight.

Last week when I started posting on here I was introduced to Scooby's Workshop.

http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

Put all your information in there and it'll pop back with your calorie limitations.

I'd also suggest taking walks around the block. Take your little girl, she can ride around and you can keep an eye on her.

fittocycle

You're welcome to add me! I can certainly understand your frustration and pain bc that is a lot to take one by yourself. But look how far you've come! Don't you dare go backwards now!
Your doctor mentioned not eating "white foods". I'd go a step further and say eliminate sugar, processed foods, and transfats. Basically if it come in a box, pass it by! Fill your plate with salad, fresh vegetable, fruits, lean meats or fish.
Also, you need to move. Maybe it's parking your car at the end of the lot (yes, I really do this) or simply taking a 10-15 minute walk. Take the stairs. If you don't have a pedometer or step counter, then invest in one. It'll be your personal coach.
As you make healthier choices, it will get easier in time and become second nature to you. Just don't give up! You can do this!

fitdiva1day

Hello, Nikki. I hope you are still hanging in there. We don't have the same stats, but I do understand the whole feeling of being dropped off in the middle of a forest, even if the situation is a bit different. At present I am only trying to lose 40 pounds...some days it doesn't seem like that much. Other days it is a much broader scope that seems overwhelming.
I wanted to respond to let you know that your doubts and fears are something many of us share even in different circumstances. My adoptive mother was well over 400 pounds, she too was a diabetic and had been since childhood. She struggled with her weight her entire life. She couldn't get around well after she passed 40. When shopping she always rode in the motorized carts. As a child I always felt she should have walked instead, but as I got older and began to understand more I realized she simply could not, due to bad knees.
Today, I have a bad back. To look at me I seem perfectly normal physically, but when I go shopping I try to hurry because the more I walk the more I hurt. I have been feeling sorry for myself because I can't excercise like so many others. Some days, more so than not, I am disappointed in myself, even tho my back disease is not my fault. A failure is what it often makes me feel like. With that said, I have decided to work with what I have. Weights...sitting down. Have you ever seen injured soldiers in wheelchairs? They often times have a pretty impressive upper body...and it isn't just from wheeling themselves around all day. They workout with weights to keep themselves in shape. They don't give up. Work with what you have where you are in the moment. Every day that passes you will get a little stronger.
You can add me if you like. We can motivate each other.