How do you handle social events?
pitegny
Posts: 1,006 Member
I am in my second week with MFP and am really pleased with my weight loss to date, but these initial weeks have been almost totally under my control. My husband and I have two social events this week and the following weekend we have been invited to spend with friends at a mountain cabin. I am starting to worry a little that these will set me back. How do you handle eating at other people's homes. Do you let them know in advance that you are on a diet? Do you eat really lightly in advance and then eat as well as you can with what is offered? Advice welcome.
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Replies
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It's really helpful if you have an idea of what kind of food will be available. I know which of my friends/family are likely to have food that is workable so I can decide whether to eat a bit ahead of time or not. Since you are going for the weekend next week, I'd suggest volunteering to take some food ("Thank you so much for inviting us. I'd like to bring some food for everybody. I was thinking of a veggie tray. I've been trying to eat better and find that veggies are so filling and blahblahblah...") For this weekend, what are the events?8
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Smaller portions.
Take lower calorie food to share.
Drink water, unsweetened tea or other low calorie drinks.
Fill your plate with more vegetables.
Limit things like condiments, dips, salad dressings, bread, rice, pasta, chips, cheese, nuts.
Eat at maintenance level those days.
I wouldn't announce you were on a diet unless you enjoy talking about it and getting annoying advice/comments.13 -
It's really helpful if you have an idea of what kind of food will be available. I know which of my friends/family are likely to have food that is workable so I can decide whether to eat a bit ahead of time or not. Since you are going for the weekend next week, I'd suggest volunteering to take some food ("Thank you so much for inviting us. I'd like to bring some food for everybody. I was thinking of a veggie tray. I've been trying to eat better and find that veggies are so filling and blahblahblah...") For this weekend, what are the events?
My husband will be skiing, I'll be doing some walking, but mainly sitting around catching up with friends, unfortunately. Snow may limit outdoor actvities for the non-skiers, including me.
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In addition to the advice already given, you could eat 100 calories under your goal each day the week before the trip. That way you would have an additional 500 or so calories for the weekend. That can be difficult if you are at a large deficit. Just be careful about drinking calories. Instead of hot chocolate you might have herbal tea or coffee if you drink it black. But it is ok to have some treats, just try to make sure you take small portions. I rarely talk about my "diet", but I have told people that I am "watching what I eat". Especially if they offer something to me that I turn down and they keep offering.6
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I think an important thing to remember is that this essentially is not just a new diet you are on but a new way of living. Do not be upset if you happen to have one bad eating day. If the ten before is awesome and the ten after, you are still improving. Not every giving up wins the game!15
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There are some great pieces of advice above, but I would also add~
Unless you eat 3500c above your maintenance calories, you aren't going to gain anything beyond some possible water weight. Take the smaller portions and watch the dips/sauces and you should be fine.
Mainly? ENJOY your time there. Don't stress over the 'diet'. It isn't a diet, it's life and life will go on.6 -
Great advice so far. This must be a permanent change and not a diet. If you have a few extra calories while enjoying time with friends or family, oh well. Just don't go overboard. Exercise some judgement and self control and and make reasonable choices and keep your portions in check.3
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I eat responsibly...appropriate portions, etc...but sometimes I don't.
ETA: Honestly though, when I go into a cut (like now) I basically become a hermit for at least the first month or so to get a head of steam going...after that I can be a little more lose. January for me is usually a transitional month back into losing a few Lbs that I tend to put on from October through December...I'm not the best, but I'm not the worst and am transitioning into things...I'll be starting in earnest and dialed in starting next week which is a good time to start rolling as there is nothing on the horizon really for February in regards to social events. They'll start kicking off again come spring, so right now is go time.5 -
NO I don't let people know I am on o a diet because I am not on a temporary weight loss kick.
I do social events and eat the food there and don't expect "special" treatment...
I eat in smaller portions and try to log as best I can. If they ask if I want more I say no thanks I am quite satisfied thank you....
but I also allow for extra calories when it's required either just allowing myself the extra calories or earning them before I go through the week by cutting back or exercising more...
It is not the daily calories that are going to make or break you it is the long term deficit you are in and if you have a few extra hundred calories at teh end of the week to eat go for it...if you want.4 -
I find that journaling what I plan to eat, as opposed to what I just ate helps loads. Partly because, if I think I might want to have a piece of cake or a drink or what have you, I've already seen that it fits into my daily total. So it's a treat, but not a cheat. (This works best when you've got an idea of the food that's going to be there, because you can source the calories ahead of time.)3
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A few things you can do. A) take food that you know the nutritional value of.
Log as accurately as you can, and if there is something that you absolutely do not want to have due to how it fits in your calories, rely on food from A. C) Enjoy the event, making reasonable choices, and understanding that one meal or one day does not define your life. D) Get in extra walks, aim for smaller portions of other meals in the day to leave room for the social meals where you have less control.I am in my second week with MFP and am really pleased with my weight loss to date, but these initial weeks have been almost totally under my control. My husband and I have two social events this week and the following weekend we have been invited to spend with friends at a mountain cabin. I am starting to worry a little that these will set me back. How do you handle eating at other people's homes. Do you let them know in advance that you are on a diet? Do you eat really lightly in advance and then eat as well as you can with what is offered? Advice welcome.
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This is all great advice and very much appreciated. This is the third time I have tried to change my eating habits and lose weight. I very much want this time to be the one that works. The strong sense of MFP community is giving me hope that this might be it. Thanks!1
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I am in my second week with MFP and am really pleased with my weight loss to date, but these initial weeks have been almost totally under my control. My husband and I have two social events this week and the following weekend we have been invited to spend with friends at a mountain cabin. I am starting to worry a little that these will set me back. How do you handle eating at other people's homes. Do you let them know in advance that you are on a diet? Do you eat really lightly in advance and then eat as well as you can with what is offered? Advice welcome.
I never burden my host's kitchen with my diet/eating plan. I always survey the tableau@meal times, I zero in on what I'll accept on my plate (ie meat/meatless proteins mainly) and enjoy it, portion conscious.
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I have enjoyed reading the responses here. Eating out and social events are something I still struggle with, and I am a bit of an all or nothing kind of girl. I really have to start thinking of this as a way of life, and learn not to overeat for the sake of it. I cant tell you the number of times ive been told "come on, just have some birthday cake, you have to live". What these people dont understand is that one piece of cake, for me, sets off a chain reaction of eating more and more sugar for days-its just the way I am. I hope to get to the point where I can go out, go to an event or birthday and enjoy myself by having a little bit of something indulgent without stuffing my face. This balancing act is hard isnt it?3
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It's really helpful if you have an idea of what kind of food will be available. I know which of my friends/family are likely to have food that is workable so I can decide whether to eat a bit ahead of time or not. Since you are going for the weekend next week, I'd suggest volunteering to take some food ("Thank you so much for inviting us. I'd like to bring some food for everybody. I was thinking of a veggie tray. I've been trying to eat better and find that veggies are so filling and blahblahblah...") For this weekend, what are the events?
My husband will be skiing, I'll be doing some walking, but mainly sitting around catching up with friends, unfortunately. Snow may limit outdoor actvities for the non-skiers, including me.
Do they have tubing or snowshoeing? Those are both really great ways to be active without much of a skill set. I agree with what everyone is saying but at the end of the day don't be too hard on yourself.enjoy your visit. It's a special occasion. if you go a little over log it and move on. It's not worth losing too much sleep over.1 -
I have enjoyed reading the responses here. Eating out and social events are something I still struggle with, and I am a bit of an all or nothing kind of girl. I really have to start thinking of this as a way of life, and learn not to overeat for the sake of it. I cant tell you the number of times ive been told "come on, just have some birthday cake, you have to live". What these people dont understand is that one piece of cake, for me, sets off a chain reaction of eating more and more sugar for days-its just the way I am. I hope to get to the point where I can go out, go to an event or birthday and enjoy myself by having a little bit of something indulgent without stuffing my face. This balancing act is hard isnt it?
I am much the same. Havng failed before, part of me wonders if one going off regime once might not lead to another time and another. Balancing act is a very good way of putting it.0 -
It depends on the event. When we go to someone's house I try to eat around it by having a light meal before going and then choosing very small portions of the healthiest items while there. When we get home I'll have a serving of nuts if I'm still hungry. When we meet friends or family at restaurants I try to check out the menu before arrival and plan out what I will order that will fit into our preferred portions (roughly 1/4 protein, 1/4 starch/grain, 1/2 vegetables). However for the month of January we have decided to dine at home unless we have a family obligation.
I have done Paleo and Whole 30 in the past and found that I felt much better eating that way and easily lost weight. But, I love to cook as well dine at the always changing newest restaurants so this year my boyfriend and I decided we were just going to work on our portion control (and limit our alcohol intake) and not do any type of temporary diet.0 -
If you aim for maintenance calories for the weekend it will allow you more leeway. You won't gain or lose, but no one will really pay attention. The 1/2 plate veggies idea mentioned is good. Veggies visually fill the plate and makes it look like a lot but isn't actually many calories.
Eat slower than normal while othere are busy eating their food.. Seriously, no one will notice that you are dieting at all unless you mention it.1 -
Make sure that you go hungry, i.e., eat less during the day. When u get there fill your plate with salad first, then meat n a side. Do not go back for seconds. Eat slowly so that you have something for the duration of the meal. Drink water. Act normal 0
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If you aim for maintenance calories for the weekend it will allow you more leeway. You won't gain or lose, but no one will really pay attention. The 1/2 plate veggies idea mentioned is good. Veggies visually fill the plate and makes it look like a lot but isn't actually many calories.
Eat slower than normal while othere are busy eating their food.. Seriously, no one will notice that you are dieting at all unless you mention it.
Excellenet suggestion. How do I calculate my maintenance calories?0 -
I really appreciate all the advice. Eating in is easy to control, but dining out is definitely more of a challenge.0
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the nice thing about having OCD food issues (and i always have) ... i dont eat food other people make.
all my friends know this.
in the case of a weekend away, i would gladly prepare all the meals.
LOLOLOL0 -
If you aim for maintenance calories for the weekend it will allow you more leeway. You won't gain or lose, but no one will really pay attention. The 1/2 plate veggies idea mentioned is good. Veggies visually fill the plate and makes it look like a lot but isn't actually many calories.
Eat slower than normal while othere are busy eating their food.. Seriously, no one will notice that you are dieting at all unless you mention it.
Excellenet suggestion. How do I calculate my maintenance calories?
Google TDEE and plug in your info. This will be maintenance level. Then to lose weight you simply subtract the deficit (ex. -500 calories a day to lose 1 pound a week or subtract 250 calories a day on average to lose 0.5 pound a week). Just be sure to recalculate TDEE every 5 or so pounds lost as you will need less calories to move around the smaller person you will be. 0 -
I really appreciate all the advice. Eating in is easy to control, but dining out is definitely more of a challenge.
When you come home don't weigh for a few days as sometimes there is a bit of water retention during travel. So don't stress if it looks like there has been a bit of a gain. It usually comes off over the week, and then it's back to normal.1 -
I used to worry about this too. But I soon realized, no one cares. I do my own thing, eat my own thing, order my own thing, whatever, and they do theirs, and no one notices. It's when I draw attention to it that they began to watch.0
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If you aim for maintenance calories for the weekend it will allow you more leeway. You won't gain or lose, but no one will really pay attention. The 1/2 plate veggies idea mentioned is good. Veggies visually fill the plate and makes it look like a lot but isn't actually many calories.
Eat slower than normal while othere are busy eating their food.. Seriously, no one will notice that you are dieting at all unless you mention it.
Excellenet suggestion. How do I calculate my maintenance calories?
Google TDEE and plug in your info. This will be maintenance level. Then to lose weight you simply subtract the deficit (ex. -500 calories a day to lose 1 pound a week or subtract 250 calories a day on average to lose 0.5 pound a week). Just be sure to recalculate TDEE every 5 or so pounds lost as you will need less calories to move around the smaller person you will be.
You can also change you goal in mfp to maintain and the number it gives you is your maintenance. Then you can change it back to lose.1 -
Many thanks for the info on the TDEE. I will check it out. Thanks to the great advice here, I managed my first outing successfully - no loss, but no gain. I am happy!1
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