Anyone else feel like they are trapped in their body?

MojoRevival

I've never been overweight in any true sense, but my weight has fluctuated a lot over the last few years. I've always identified with being a very slim person, and thusly I feel the most attractive, happy, and confident that way. In the past year, I've gained about 30 unwanted pounds. It's hard to pinpoint exactly why and how I let go of many of my fitness and diet habits, but I did. I simply eat more and more heavily, and exercise less. It's no mystery. But anyhow that's not the point with this post... the point is I know that I'm not unattractive to others, I just feel that way immensely. I feel guilty for being "petty" and caring so much about my weight... In a way, I wish I didn't care about being skinny, so I could be carefree and lazy and eat all the good stuff... but I do. Whenever I try and convince myself that I can be happy at this high weight, the lie always comes crashing down and I realize how disappointed and unhappy I truly am. To my friends, I'm "not allowed" to feel fat. Am I allowed to want to loose weight, even though no one else thinks so, by their standards? I do not believe this is body dysmorphia... I just realize that my sense of worth and my confidence is tied to a personal ideal image... one that I have experienced before and wish to be again. Any opinions or feedback from anyone?

TimeToChange007

I've been overweight my whole life and I completely understand this. I used to have these feelings a lot growing up, because it was the same thing, I had an image of what I wanted to look like and it just wasn't happening. I've been fortunate enough to have a lot of time to work on my self image and confidence, where I love myself but even then I still have days where I feel like that.

I can imagine it's even harder to have had this image of yourself and now you don't. You're totally allowed to want to lose weight and feel better about yourself not matter what people say. However, try not to beat yourself up about it. Life happens and weight happens. Most likely, people haven't even noticed the 30lb difference even though you notice it everyday. You're your worst critic because you can stand in front of a mirror and pick apart everything you don't like. People who have known you forever, aren't going to care that you're 30lbs heavier. And I'm sure people do find you attractive, there's going to be someone who thinks your hot regardless. I met my current boyfriend when I was 30lbs lighter (was still my highest weight at that time) and he thinks I look great regardless of the 30lbs.

My biggest piece of advice, is do what will make you happy. Admittedly, I recommend trying to not not like yourself because of 30lbs. Work on what makes you happy about your body right now instead of focusing on the weight gain. I know it's a lot harder than it sounds but liking what you have, can make it a lot easier on yourself. It's also easier to lose weight when you don't feel as pressured that you absolutely must lose the weight because you hate what you see, if that makes sense.

TavistockToad

You're 'allowed' to have whichever feelings you like, they're yours after all. But just beware that not everyone will welcome them.

If you don't like being 30lbs over weight then don't remain that way, that's the most simple solution.

fiddletime

I'd lose the weight. When I gain 25 pounds my friends barely notice, and think I'm fit (compared to them). But to me, I'm fat. And what I'm eating to gain those 25 pounds is basically, whatever I want. That isn't sustainable and I don't want to have to lose 60 or 100 pounds. You might as well bite the bullet and get started. Once you get to your goal weight live on the maintenance boards and get a feel for what that takes. It's really hard- for me at any rate. I'm on my 3rd go around, trying to "learn" maintenance. Once I get there that is.