Help me switch from yo-yo dieting to maintainance

sarah_a_t

I am in my 30s, 5'4", F and do 5 hours+ moderate intensity exercise a week. I have been losing and gaining weight (with swings of 5-15 kg ~ 0.5-2.5 stone) since I first left home over 10 years ago. I know how to lose weight (eat 1500 calories a day). I even know how to eat healthily. Regardless of whether I am gaining, or losing weight, the meals that I generally eat contain lots of vegetables, real foods, wholegrains, no added sugar etc., e.g:

• breakfast: weetabix and milk
• lunch: jacket potato with beans, or a (homemade, wholewheat) sandwich with fruit
• dinner: vegetable chilli and rice
• snacks: veggies and hummus, natural yoghurt
• drinks: tea, water

My diet has improved so much over the past 10 years. I have found that the key is finding, and learning how to cook, healthy foods that I really enjoy. At first eating healthily felt like a chore, but now I don't crave the unhealthy foods that I used to make at all, because the food I cook tastes so much better. Where I fall down is in sticking to just those foods. I find it hard to not eat pastries, cakes and toast. I am not saying that I don't allow any unhealthy food to pass my lips. I have pizza, chocolate, cookies, or whatever in moderation. But I don't know how to eat things like pastries, cake and toast moderately.

I have never manged to maintain. I just reach my goal weight and then bounce back up. The only thing that is changing is that when I lose weight, I eat the sort of meals that I outlined above, and when I gain I eat the same, but have a pastry for elevenses, a brownie at my afternoon coffee break and/or a round of toast after dinner. I really want to get to a point where I can just eat normally, without having to log, or expend all my willpower on not having a pastry.

I have made so much progress, but am always undone by this one issue and I just don't know how to approach it any more.

tahxirez

My only advice is stop bringing the problem foods into the house. Buy a cookie at a bakery, get a single serve pack from a vending machine. I find that I don't miss these foods when they're not around. I don't crave them or even think about them. If my boss brings me a doughnut I get to eat it guilt free because I'm not going to follow it up with 3 more. I find that my mental state suffers when I start making the trouble foods routine instead of nice treat. My recent (small) weight creep has further proven that fig cookies and chocolate covered pretzels have no place in my pantry. Its sad but true.

sarah_a_t

Thanks Tahxirex. I find it really important to keep unhealthy foods out of the house. That alone made so much difference to my life.

I could probably stand to add jam for my toast to my list of things I don't keep in the house (bread is kind of a staple though). But almost all of this snacking happens outside the house. Grabbing pastries on the way to/from work, or cakes from the office cafeteria/vending machine.

It is exactly as you say though, I am struggling to keep these foods from becoming routine once I reach my goal weight.

HappyGrape

sarah_a_t wrote: »

I have never manged to maintain. I just reach my goal weight and then bounce back up. The only thing that is changing is that when I lose weight, I eat the sort of meals that I outlined above, and when I gain I eat the same, but have a pastry for elevenses, a brownie at my afternoon coffee break and/or a round of toast after dinner. I really want to get to a point where I can just eat normally, without having to log, or expend all my willpower on not having a pastry.

I have made so much progress, but am always undone by this one issue and I just don't know how to approach it any more.

Define what is eating normally? 60 to 70 % of grown adults are obese or overweight in most countries. If you view what others eat as normal, you will weight what they weight too.

everher

There are some foods that some people simply cannot moderate and they choose to cut these foods out.

If you want to try to moderate your intake of these foods maybe try further limiting consumption? For example, instead of having a cake or pastry everyday you can have one once a week?

sarah_a_t

I would define eating normally as eating three regular meals and maybe a snack or two each day. Food mostly prepared from scratch using unprocessed ingredients, including lots of vegetables. Eating when I am hungry, not out of boredom/stress/social obligation. Not needing to log everything I eat for the rest of my life. Not constantly switching between dieting and overeating.

I mostly manage that, but there is this one area that I am still struggling with.

livingleanlivingclean

Maintenance is hard work. It requires control, and willpower, just like losing.
I think it's harder to maintain as you are trying to essentially do nothing - you don't have the drive to reach a certain goal like losing (or gaining in some cases).

Most people who eat "normally" are overweight or obese. I doubt there's many people who can maintain mindlessly, as nice as that would be. Maintenance for me still requires logging and being mindful, as well as having the willpower to not eat whatever I feel like.

sarah_a_t

Hi everher. I find that cutting them out entirely leads to binges. I will try your idea of scheduling them as a once a week treat to prevent that. It would still be difficult to limit myself, but at a certain point I guess I have to just suck it up and stop snacking.

deannalfisher

<strong>I have never manged to maintain. I just reach my goal weight and then bounce back up</strong>

it sounds like you haven't figured out what your maintenance calories are - that after you reach your goal weight, you increase your food back up to pre-diet proportions which means you put the weight back on

but your profile is private and diary isn't open - which means, it will be harder for people to provide you any inputs on what you could tweak to help you with your issues

HappyGrape

sarah_a_t wrote: »

I would define eating normally as eating three regular meals and maybe a snack or two each day. Food mostly prepared from scratch using unprocessed ingredients, including lots of vegetables. Eating when I am hungry, not out of boredom/stress/social obligation. Not needing to log everything I eat for the rest of my life. Not constantly switching between dieting and overeating.

I mostly manage that, but there is this one area that I am still struggling with.

why do you hate tracking so much?

My only suggestion is if you want to stop tracking is to keep an eye on your weight and give yourself a range you are happy with. If you go over, try to cut treats or portions, if it doesn't work go back to tracking

I find tracking takes me very little time (like 10 minutes a day!) and it's worth it. I stopped tracking and gained 13 kg for year and half. Now, I had other issues to deal with and didn't keep an eye on my weight to be honest but the reality of it is it was 186 calories a day extra led to the weight gain. It's an extra banana and 10 minutes less walk. Such small amount added overtime. I didn't binge or anything like that, there wasn't any rapid weight gain. Slowly and steady I gained weight.

I went trough few ups and downs and last time I decided that my normal includes counting as it makes it easy for me.

I don't find counting takes away from my normal eating, it's part of what I do now.

HappyGrape

There is so much anti counting talk, often from people that took dieting and counting to the extreme and projecting their own negative experience with it. The reality is many long term maintainers either count, or keep close eye on the scale ready to count if needed.

Spliner1969

Maintenance is pretty simple, you slowly raise your calories using the same lower calorie foods you were used to eating during your diet until you reach your maintenance calories. Do not change your exercise routine. Do not add calorie dense foods back into your diet unless you adjust for them accordingly. Don't stop logging your food for now, you need to learn several things:

1) What foods and portion sizes can I eat and stay at my calorie goal? IE: What does 8oz of chicken look like? Beef? Which types of beef and other meats have more calories (IE: less lean = more calories), and how much of those meats can I eat vs lean ones to be the same calories? This helps you judge portion sizes for later without logging.
2) If I am going to eat badly for a day or a meal, or an occasion (yes, it's going to happen) what do I need to do to pay for it, or prepare for it ahead of time? Extra exercise? Further caloric restriction the next few days afterward? You choose what works best for you, and practice this over time while logging so you know when you are on target.
3) Can I maintain my current level of exercise permanently? Should I increase it? Should I decrease it? If I decrease it, how do I need to adjust my calorie intake? What does that mean for portion sizes and #2 above? If you're going to adjust, adjust it while you are logging so you know where you are.
4) Realize that you are never going to maintain the exact same weight. You're going to fluctuate +/- 5 lbs at a minimum. Don't panic, and you should probably weigh no more than once a week, maybe once every two weeks when you know you have not had a ton of sodium in the last few days and have had adequate water intake (to reduce false readings based on water weight gain).

The biggest mistake I've seen is people drop their diet, stop logging, reduce exercise, and introduce crap food back into their diet. Have a fun weekend with friends, drank a lot of alcohol, ate a lot of food? Good for you, now go out and exercise more this week, keep the protein high and the calories low to make up for it. Same goes for holidays. You may need a few weeks to recover your weight, but if you look at things pro-actively, and plan ahead, or in some instances pay for it afterward, you should be able to maintain.

kommodevaran

I think this is more about the mental and practical aspects of maintenance, than the technical aspects?

(I don't see any hate of tracking.) You don't have to track if you can keep a healthy weight without tracking. But if you need to track, track.

"Normal" is such a fuzzy word. I don't think the OP is talking about "people of average weight", but of a relaxed lifestyle that will lead to sustaining a healthy weight. This is possible, but it takes work. I'm working on it, and I spend quite a lot of energy on my habits, mindset and environment.

I hear the conflict between healthy and tasty is an issue, OP. Good news: No foods are inherently unhealthy. Too much of any food is unhealthy. Some foods are just easier to eat in excess than others, and which foods, if any, is individual. You are eating a balanced diet, and you are not cutting out food groups, and that's great, a good basis for a healthy lifestyle. (No, donuts is not a food group.) But I would try to not refer to any food as "unhealthy". "Problem food" is better. Do what you need to do to not overeat. Some people have small amounts often, others abstain totally, and some eat freely occasionally.

I have landed on a simple, but flexible structure. I have three eating rules, and one master rule:
Eat real food.
Eat regular meals, and only eat at meals.
Eat when I'm hungry.
The master rule: I make exceptions, but not so often that the exceptions become rules.

I weigh myself every day, and when I approach the top of my predefined range, I cut out all the "extras" and stick more religiously to my meals. I also try to move a bit more.

sarah_a_t

kommodevaran wrote: »

I think this is more about the mental aspects of maintenance, than the practical aspects? ...
"Normal" is such a fuzzy word. I don't think the OP is talking about "people of average weight", but of a relaxed lifestyle that will lead to sustaining a healthy weight.

This is exactly it! When I gain, I am not unaware that I am eating too many calories, or even unaware that I am putting on weight. I just need to find the right mental space that let's me eat bread-y snacks in moderation, which I manage pretty well with everything else.

kommodevaran wrote: »

The master rule: I make exceptions, but not so often that the exceptions become rules.

I think you have hit at the heart of the matter here. Once I reach my goal weight I start make a few more exceptions, as I don't find restricting snacks sustainable in the very long term. I think this is a good goal. Sadly, I am struggling to stop my exceptions from becoming routine. This is the bit I want to work on.

I am taking two things away from this so far:

1. I need to take it more seriously when I reach the top of my maintainance range and immediately switch back to logging/calorie restriction. I understand that I need to do this, but am always putting it off until tomorrow.
2. I need to think a bit more about how to include snacks in my diet in a maintainable way. Possibly as a scheduled once a week treat, rather than a response to having had a hard day.

spiriteagle99

I struggle with similar issues. I love sweets and don't want to give them up completely. When I am losing weight, I am good at making them only occasional indulgences, usually after a hard workout or in place of a regular meal so they are within my calorie allowance. When I am not actively trying to lose weight, they become more frequent. Ice cream once a week becomes ice cream almost every day. Same for cookies or chocolate. A donut/muffin/cinnamon roll once a month becomes a weekly treat. And the pounds creep back. I've become good at monitoring my weight, so I catch the weight gain before it gets to be a problem, but I'd rather just not gain in the first place. I know what I need to do. I just need to do it. It's not a treat if it's every day.

nowine4me

This is a different approach, but maybe find lower calories substitutes for those foods you love and add them back in as you raise your calories to maintenance. Lenny and Larry cookies (small size) or weight watchers brownies, Yasso pops, Greek whipped cake yogurt, etc.

AnnPT77

Would it be possible to target a certain number of "special" snacks (like the pastries) weekly or something so that they fit into your maintenance calorie budget, and make sure you have more nutrient-dense or low-cal snacks handy on the other days, so you can have a snack without going overboard?

It might require logging for a bit longer (I'm sensing that you might like to stop logging eventually), in order to work out this kind of budget, so that you hit a weekly goal rather than a daily goal.

Personally, I carry snacks with me (in my car, sometimes gym bag or purse) that I can turn to when I get hungry. It can be things that don't require refrigerating and that keep long-term, like dry-roasted soybeans or nuts, or individual mini-packs of olives, crispy chickpeas, etc. When convenient, I might slip a couple of snacks in a small insulated bag with a tiny ice pack instead - things like mini-cheese or string cheese, veggies & hummus or whatever.

I also give myself a calorie target on routine days that's a couple of hundred under maintenance calories, so I can eat a bigger meal sometimes when out for a social dinner (for instance). You might be able to use a similar strategy to create some room for the sweet snacks you enjoy, on an occasional basis.

I hear you saying that you generally enjoy your healthy way of eating, and don't want to change that, but perhaps if you took an analytical look at your diary, you could find some swaps you could make to get good nutrition and satisfaction on slightly fewer calories, to create a budget for the occasional splurge on pastry or the like.

starfruit132

It sounds like it may be a comforting "routine" or habit that you miss the most. It is something to look forward to and you get pleasure from that. Chocolate does that for me. I cannot have it in the house or stop and buy it. I have used a replacement chocolate protein bar when I feel that urge coming on. Don't love them enough to binge on. But, if you do love those pastries and feel that you cannot eliminate them, try to box it in like another poster recommended. First Fridays or hump day, etc. Or, is there another habit to replace it with i.e. sugar free hot chocolate on the way to work, crispy thin bread toast with a teaspoon of peanut butter to fill you up?

cwolfman13

Maintenance is only a handful of calories more than you're eating when losing...adding in a bunch of pastries on a routine basis is going to add up quick.

When you say you want to "eat normally"...you need to understand that there has to be a new normal. In maintenance I'm definitely afforded more opportunity to have "treats"...but that's just what they are..."treats"...they aren't on the daily. I eat very much the same in maintenance as I did when I was losing...the only difference is that I may have a larger portion of X or an extra snack or something...I didn't go back to drinking sodas on the regular.

Also, maintaining a regular exercise program is going to be pretty important as well.

I still definitely have treats, but I live my life in such a way that those aren't regular items in my diet. I love pizza for example...back in the day I ate pizza at least 3x per week for lunch, often more...I still eat pizza, but it is reserved primarily for Saturday afternoons after the boys finish soccer and football games...and even then, it's not necessarily every Saturday. I still enjoy deserts...but usually only a couple times per week...etc, etc, etc..

Ultimately, there has to be a new "normal"...

fiddletime

I could have written your post Sara. This is my third time losing weight on MFP, and I've yo-yo'd 25 pounds for 45 years! Way before aps and counters, when your clothes and mirror and scale (if you had one) told the story.

The new normal is to never stop what you're doing. Add a few hundred calories, move past the occasional slip knowing it won't be the end of the journey, and never trust yourself to eat a healthy portion of cake or pastries. That's my new world at any rate. We can master this maintenance thing. But, it takes work!!

lorrpb

The only difference between losing and maintenance is a few hundred calories per day. Continue logging your food and adjust your calorie goal upwards 100 calories at a time. The reality for many of us is that we have had to change the way we eat for the rest of our lives. We may not "want" to be that restrictive, but we also don't "want" to get fat again. One of my favorite quotes:
"Losing weight is hard.
Maintaining weight is hard.
Staying overweight is hard.
Choose your hard."