I am sick of ''you look fine'' comments (before/after pics)

atiana19

theres a difference in appearing healthy and feeling healthy..if you dont feel good then you are not fine..your figure is beautiful but if your not treating the inside then the outside does not matter...keep doing what makes you "feel" fine and healthy and good and dont listen to anyone else = )

Lounmoun

You posted a thread with pictures so you are kind of inviting the whole world to give their opinion even though you say you don't want comments. Maybe you kind of do want comments about your progress just not those comments.

Your appearance in the first photo- the only very noticeable overweight part is your waist/upper hip area. If you were not wearing tight or revealing clothing it likely would not be noticeable at all. You would look fine. Your starting point probably wasn't obvious to others.
Second photo- yes, you look a healthier weight. Your clothes fit better. You are not very athletic looking but are slimmer. Your size and appearance would be fine for many people.

I don't know why people are commenting to you but you can shut it down.
Don't bring it up in conversation or post about it on social media. Just do it quietly.
If someone starts asking you about your weight loss just say you are fine and change the subject.

It is your body. I hope you get to a happy healthy place. Well done on your loss.

hellobaconplease

I just wanted to say you look amazing, I can see you made some massive changes in your body. I can see how you didn't like how you looked before - but that yo most people you looked "fine". I think because you had an average, everyday sort of body, if that makes sense.

You have a wonderful shape! Very sensual.

inkedShimewaza

I don't know how you looked before, but you look "fine" in both pictures above. And, by "fine", I don't mean "OK". I mean "fine" as in really hot.

gizmom19

You do you. I hate telling people especially family that I am trying to lose weight and I really need to. Some people feel free to make comments I don't appreciate. If you turn down food they act like "poor you" and if you eat it then you get the "is that on your diet". You can't win. You do look fine in both but can see the difference. You look healthy and as long as you are happy you just can't worry about what others think.

Christine_72

My husband tells me i look too skinny (i lose weight super quick from my rib cage and up, but my belly stays the same), my family says i look fine too. I do NOT speak about weight or calories to any of them anymore.

OP would you prefer them to say "Hey fatty, it's time you lost some of that weight you've piled on" ? You'd probably be just as mortified lol

My golden tip is to keep your dieting and body woes to yourself. Honestly, no one really cares anyway

SusanMFindlay

GirlBossGoals wrote: »

The one thing that annoyed me the most is people saying ''you look fine'' while i was getting worse and worse and if I mentioned, that I want to start eating healthy or exercise- people would say - ''but what for?' you look fine- while the hypocrites would post themselves 2 days later on FB that they need to lose weight!! So wait a second, I have to stay unhealthy, sick and not looking great while you have the right to lose weight?

A lot of how people react depends on how you say something. If you say "I feel so tired all the time; I need to eat healthier so that I'll have more energy", people aren't going to discourage you. If you say "I don't fit into my favourite dress any more", people will usually be supportive of efforts to fit into it again.

But if you say "I'm so fat" (especially if you say it to people who are significantly heavier than you and are going to make the obvious comparison and conclude that you are also saying that they are fat), you're more likely going to be told you look fine - especially if you do actually look fine. As you yourself noted, they couldn't see through your clothes. Aside from which, while you look better in the second pic, you do actually look fine in the first one.

tarothelp

jkwolly wrote: »

Well done, OP!

Now, you look fiiiiiiiiiiine

(Ha)

Hahahaha. Yes u do look FIIIIIINE! U look great well done on your journey

doittoitgirl

I don't know why you need validation that bad from the people around you to start eating healthy and exercising. I doubt they are maliciously telling you that your body looks fine so you stay fat while "they get the right to lose weight". Take the compliment (bc honestly you didn't look bad in the first pic) or just don't talk about your weightloss journey with people who you don't feel will motivate you. I keep my mouth shut when I'm losing weight because I don't want comments, and if I talk about it and I don't like what they say I stop engaging.

Alatariel75

SusanMFindlay wrote: »

GirlBossGoals wrote: »

The one thing that annoyed me the most is people saying ''you look fine'' while i was getting worse and worse and if I mentioned, that I want to start eating healthy or exercise- people would say - ''but what for?' you look fine- while the hypocrites would post themselves 2 days later on FB that they need to lose weight!! So wait a second, I have to stay unhealthy, sick and not looking great while you have the right to lose weight?

A lot of how people react depends on how you say something. If you say "I feel so tired all the time; I need to eat healthier so that I'll have more energy", people aren't going to discourage you. If you say "I don't fit into my favourite dress any more", people will usually be supportive of efforts to fit into it again.

But if you say "I'm so fat" (especially if you say it to people who are significantly heavier than you and are going to make the obvious comparison and conclude that you are also saying that they are fat), you're more likely going to be told you look fine - especially if you do actually look fine. As you yourself noted, they couldn't see through your clothes. Aside from which, while you look better in the second pic, you do actually look fine in the first one.

I gotta agree with this. If people are telling you you look fine the way you are, it's generally in response to you saying something negative about yourself in a non-constructive way.

Therealobi1

I agree you did look fine before after fine tuning you look great
Don't wind yourself up worrying about what others have to say

lemonychild

How exactly should the community help with "them" ? Ignore them or if u can't ignore them tell them to mind their own business n them to leave u alone. The end

TavistockToad

If you don't want people's opinions, stop talking about your weight loss.

moya_bleh

Crabs in a bucket mentality.

mbanks123

#storyofmylife

You've done really well. Keep going until you're happy!
Ignore everyone else... and reach your own goals!

I feel like I need to elaborate after reading some of these comments. I have been in this position and while the OP has exaggerated a little, I can understand why she has.

When someone who isn't exactly fat is trying to lose weight, they will rant about their struggles just as much as anyone else trying to lose weight (this does not make them negative), but when the responses you get are "you look fine", "you don't need to lose weight", "i wish I was as skinny as you" from morbidly obese people.... it can really anger/frustrate you.

I've finally learnt to ignore other people. While i know they aren't being malicious or vindictive, they should be a little understanding that everyone has their own goals and there isn't one perfect size for everyone. While someone of a size 18 may want to get to a size 12, people like me who are a size 10, want to be a size 8 or a 6.

So for anyone out there who tells someone they look fine thinking that you are being supportive, maybe rephrase and say things like "you'll get to where you want to be", "i know you can reach your goals" etc.

duddysdad

I got this when I lost 160 pounds and wanted to lose just a bit more, about 10 pounds. Everyone said I was too skinny, or looked sickly even though I had quite a bit of fat to lose. People told me my face looked sunken in. Unfortunately those comments got to me and it put me into a binge eating spiral and I gained 40 pounds. Now people tell me I look better and I shouldn't lose more weight even though I am now overweight. I lost all of my motivation and the binge eating still happens all the time. I am maintaining, but I want to lose this weight very desperately. I wish people could just keep to themselves.

JustMissTracy

kshama2001 wrote: »

When I stopped abusing alcohol my social interactions changed quite a bit. Maybe spend more time with people who feel the same way about fitness as you do? For example, spend more time here rather than FB?

This. One of the best changes I ever made, other than buying a food scale and a Fitbit!

xbowhunter

Impressive transformation. You look better than fine...

bellaa_x0

who cares what they say? if you don't like how you look, you can do something about it for YOU. my mom would LOVE if i stopped lifting weights, but at the same time says that i look great. how does she think i got to this point in the first place? i just take it for a grain of salt and continue to lift, etc. for ME.

jemhh

mbanks123 wrote: »

#storyofmylife

You've done really well. Keep going until you're happy!
Ignore everyone else... and reach your own goals!

I feel like I need to elaborate after reading some of these comments. I have been in this position and while the OP has exaggerated a little, I can understand why she has.

When someone who isn't exactly fat is trying to lose weight, they will rant about their struggles just as much as anyone else trying to lose weight (this does not make them negative), but when the responses you get are "you look fine", "you don't need to lose weight", "i wish I was as skinny as you" from morbidly obese people.... it can really anger/frustrate you.

I've finally learnt to ignore other people. While i know they aren't being malicious or vindictive, they should be a little understanding that everyone has their own goals and there isn't one perfect size for everyone. While someone of a size 18 may want to get to a size 12, people like me who are a size 10, want to be a size 8 or a 6.

So for anyone out there who tells someone they look fine thinking that you are being supportive, maybe rephrase and say things like "you'll get to where you want to be", "i know you can reach your goals" etc.

Again, if you don't want people to comment on your weight loss effort, don't talk about it. Not everybody who is working on losing weight rants about their struggles. A lot of us keep our mouths shut about it IRL and only discuss it in fora like these, which focus on weight loss. You cannot control what others do. You can only control what you do.